I Guess, I Guess, I Guess- YooSu
Title: I Guess, I Guess, I Guess
Rating: PG-13
Fandom/Pairings: DBSK/YooSu
Summary: Junsu's nightmares like to dress up like dreams.
A/N: Birthday present for kayjayloves. Hey, it's a week late, but I still got it done! xD
Written to Backseat Goodbye's Dressed Up Like Dreams. ♥
1.
Junsu has been in a state of false panic lately. It’s only false because he can see it standing right in front of him, like a car crash in slow motion, but he refuses to acknowledge it. He pretends it doesn’t exist, and so he runs around in all of his usual (false) happiness.
It seems all Yoochun does is moon around their apartment and groan about how he’s not good enough for his duck butt of a boyfriend.
Junsu worries for the 100th time that week. Worries even more when he remembers the panic attack he had the last time he worried too much. He feels his heart speed up and his airways contract slightly, and wills himself to calm down. It helps: slightly.
2.
The next day he sits Yoochun down and demands an explanation. The worry has gotten to be far too much, and his façade of happiness is beginning to wear thin for both of them.
“I wonder if I could just throw all of my memories into the ocean. Maybe I’d find a bit of clarity.” Yoochun mutters when Junsu interrogates him. Junsu feels his eyes tear up at his words.
“Am I really that bad? God Yoochun, maybe I should just leave.”
Yoochun looks up at him through weary, lidded eyes and says,
“If anyone’s going to be leaving, it’ll be me.”
He does just that.
3.
The next day he gets a text from an unidentified number. He recognizes it, even though he erased the contact last night. His heart clenches and he forces the panic back down his throat. Especially since now, he’s alone.
Don’t be mad. It’s just because I love you.
Junsu throws his phone off the balcony.
4.
The next day finds Junsu with a new phone, wandering aimlessly around Seoul, looking through every shop window and at every person he passes. He knows it’s useless and impossible, knows he’s not going to find the person he’s looking for, because the person doesn’t want to be found. That in itself poses a problem.
Three hours later Junsu actually finds him in a strip club, kissing a very pretty man. His temper immediately flares and he grabs his “boyfriend’s” arm, dragging him out of the club. Yoochun looks stunned and more than a little drunk as Junsu backs him against an alley wall and slaps him across the face. Tears fall from Junsu’s eyes as he hits Yoochun. Hits his chest, neck, arms, anything he can get his hands on. He just stands there and takes it. When Junsu’s completely worn out he collapses to the filthy ground and says in a very small voice,
“Why did you try to leave me?”
Yoochun looks at him with what could only be called a look of disgust.
“I didn’t just try, I succeeded.” He leans over and whispers in Junsu’s ear, alcohol fresh and pungent on his breath. “ I left you for someone who kisses better and has prettier eyes than you. You’ve always dragged me down, although I suppose it’s not your fault.”
He leaves a mute and broken Junsu slumped in the alley.
5.
Six months later they cross paths again, this time at a fancy dinner party. Their mutual friend who also seemed to take care of the guest list was fortunate enough to never hear of the breakup. They’re sat to each other at dinner and Junsu is glad that he has learned to take care of his panic attacks better. When asked if they already know each other, Junsu laughs his trademark laugh, which doesn’t seem to reach his eyes and says,
“Oh yes, we’ve met. But you know, Mr. Park is just so depressing, he really needs to smile a bit more, don’t you think?” He simply grins as their end of the table goes quiet and Yoochun says,
“Not all of us are as good at being happy as you are, Junsu.” Junsu just laughs and replies,
“Well whose fault is that now?”
It’s after dinner and everyone’s mingling around and flinging about pleasantries like it’s going out of style, when Yoochun is pushed over to Junsu by a friend and mumbles a request to dance, eyes nervous and forced, burning holes into his overly shiny shoes. Junsu smiles sweetly, sets down his wineglass on the nearest table and winds his arms around Yoochun’s neck in the most teasing fashion he can manage, despite the fact that his heart threatening to give out on him any minute. He places his lips next to Yoochun’s ear, feels the eyes of dozens of people on them and murmurs,
“Guess what Yoochun? Love starts with “L”, and so does liar, you bastard.”
He promptly leaves the party.
6.
Junsu escapes to Jaejoong and Changmin’s place that night. They both curl up with him on the couch, Jaejoong stroking his hair and Changmin drawing hearts on his legs. A rather disturbing murder mystery on .t.v. is playing on low volume.
He finds it ironic that the only place he can get love, is from somewhere where he doesn’t actually want it.
7.
Junsu’s pretty fond of waking up. Despite that, he finds it funny when he opens his eyes and sees Yoochun standing over him, concern painted all over his face. Junsu grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him rapidly across the bed, which earns him a surprised yelp right in his ear.
“Yoochun.” Junsu breathes quickly. He expects some sort of poorly masked panic to overtake him, but nothing happens. He must have dreamt it up. Wait… dreamt?
“Babe? You ok?” Yoochun says softly, holding Junsu to him possessively.
“Can… can we just pretend for a bit?” Junsu asks, kissing Yoochun quickly and fiercely. Yoochun looks puzzled but kisses back anyway, cupping Junsu’s face in his hands. When they pull away Yoochun says,
“Who’s pretending? Are you ok, Su? You must have had some pretty crazy dreams, you were out for hours.”
Junsu’s eyes widen. “Dreams?” He whispers.
More like nightmares.
Rating: PG-13
Fandom/Pairings: DBSK/YooSu
Summary: Junsu's nightmares like to dress up like dreams.
A/N: Birthday present for kayjayloves. Hey, it's a week late, but I still got it done! xD
Written to Backseat Goodbye's Dressed Up Like Dreams. ♥
1.
Junsu has been in a state of false panic lately. It’s only false because he can see it standing right in front of him, like a car crash in slow motion, but he refuses to acknowledge it. He pretends it doesn’t exist, and so he runs around in all of his usual (false) happiness.
It seems all Yoochun does is moon around their apartment and groan about how he’s not good enough for his duck butt of a boyfriend.
Junsu worries for the 100th time that week. Worries even more when he remembers the panic attack he had the last time he worried too much. He feels his heart speed up and his airways contract slightly, and wills himself to calm down. It helps: slightly.
2.
The next day he sits Yoochun down and demands an explanation. The worry has gotten to be far too much, and his façade of happiness is beginning to wear thin for both of them.
“I wonder if I could just throw all of my memories into the ocean. Maybe I’d find a bit of clarity.” Yoochun mutters when Junsu interrogates him. Junsu feels his eyes tear up at his words.
“Am I really that bad? God Yoochun, maybe I should just leave.”
Yoochun looks up at him through weary, lidded eyes and says,
“If anyone’s going to be leaving, it’ll be me.”
He does just that.
3.
The next day he gets a text from an unidentified number. He recognizes it, even though he erased the contact last night. His heart clenches and he forces the panic back down his throat. Especially since now, he’s alone.
Don’t be mad. It’s just because I love you.
Junsu throws his phone off the balcony.
4.
The next day finds Junsu with a new phone, wandering aimlessly around Seoul, looking through every shop window and at every person he passes. He knows it’s useless and impossible, knows he’s not going to find the person he’s looking for, because the person doesn’t want to be found. That in itself poses a problem.
Three hours later Junsu actually finds him in a strip club, kissing a very pretty man. His temper immediately flares and he grabs his “boyfriend’s” arm, dragging him out of the club. Yoochun looks stunned and more than a little drunk as Junsu backs him against an alley wall and slaps him across the face. Tears fall from Junsu’s eyes as he hits Yoochun. Hits his chest, neck, arms, anything he can get his hands on. He just stands there and takes it. When Junsu’s completely worn out he collapses to the filthy ground and says in a very small voice,
“Why did you try to leave me?”
Yoochun looks at him with what could only be called a look of disgust.
“I didn’t just try, I succeeded.” He leans over and whispers in Junsu’s ear, alcohol fresh and pungent on his breath. “ I left you for someone who kisses better and has prettier eyes than you. You’ve always dragged me down, although I suppose it’s not your fault.”
He leaves a mute and broken Junsu slumped in the alley.
5.
Six months later they cross paths again, this time at a fancy dinner party. Their mutual friend who also seemed to take care of the guest list was fortunate enough to never hear of the breakup. They’re sat to each other at dinner and Junsu is glad that he has learned to take care of his panic attacks better. When asked if they already know each other, Junsu laughs his trademark laugh, which doesn’t seem to reach his eyes and says,
“Oh yes, we’ve met. But you know, Mr. Park is just so depressing, he really needs to smile a bit more, don’t you think?” He simply grins as their end of the table goes quiet and Yoochun says,
“Not all of us are as good at being happy as you are, Junsu.” Junsu just laughs and replies,
“Well whose fault is that now?”
It’s after dinner and everyone’s mingling around and flinging about pleasantries like it’s going out of style, when Yoochun is pushed over to Junsu by a friend and mumbles a request to dance, eyes nervous and forced, burning holes into his overly shiny shoes. Junsu smiles sweetly, sets down his wineglass on the nearest table and winds his arms around Yoochun’s neck in the most teasing fashion he can manage, despite the fact that his heart threatening to give out on him any minute. He places his lips next to Yoochun’s ear, feels the eyes of dozens of people on them and murmurs,
“Guess what Yoochun? Love starts with “L”, and so does liar, you bastard.”
He promptly leaves the party.
6.
Junsu escapes to Jaejoong and Changmin’s place that night. They both curl up with him on the couch, Jaejoong stroking his hair and Changmin drawing hearts on his legs. A rather disturbing murder mystery on .t.v. is playing on low volume.
He finds it ironic that the only place he can get love, is from somewhere where he doesn’t actually want it.
7.
Junsu’s pretty fond of waking up. Despite that, he finds it funny when he opens his eyes and sees Yoochun standing over him, concern painted all over his face. Junsu grabs him by the shoulders and pulls him rapidly across the bed, which earns him a surprised yelp right in his ear.
“Yoochun.” Junsu breathes quickly. He expects some sort of poorly masked panic to overtake him, but nothing happens. He must have dreamt it up. Wait… dreamt?
“Babe? You ok?” Yoochun says softly, holding Junsu to him possessively.
“Can… can we just pretend for a bit?” Junsu asks, kissing Yoochun quickly and fiercely. Yoochun looks puzzled but kisses back anyway, cupping Junsu’s face in his hands. When they pull away Yoochun says,
“Who’s pretending? Are you ok, Su? You must have had some pretty crazy dreams, you were out for hours.”
Junsu’s eyes widen. “Dreams?” He whispers.
More like nightmares.