(no subject)
i didnt get to finish my entry from earlier this morning.
this entry is mainly for brook, april, kim, and isis (at least those are the ones with ljs)....
i'm not sure how to begin except to say that it's no own's fault but my own. i know that you are each upset with me, however much you may deny it. i also understand why. kim, i know what you meant about becoming another jackie, and i'm sorry that i seem to be heading in that direction at such a fast pace, but i'd like to explain, and perhaps, redeem myself a little.
to begin, i just want you to know that i am the one that has been chosing not to hang out with the gang so much... not dave... at all. monday night, i was the one who decided to leave. it's hard to be in a room full of people who think of you as someone who was once a good friend. i know that you all look at me differently because of my relationship with dave. i know that you have also started to resent him because you think he's taking over my life, but it's dave that suggests i invite kim to the museum with us or april and johanna to watch a movie. dave is not monopolizing my time without my permission. he is, in fact, only obeying my wishes.
my first mistake was fighting in front of you guys. we had spats on the phone, and the only times that you ever saw dave and me together, i was crying or miserable. i guess i let you believe that these quarrells were all dave;s doing, but in reality, it was the two of us being dumb or stubborn. we both made our fair share of mistakes. we've figured things out between us now though... we're both happy, and we dont have any problems. most of our arguments had to do with the fear of upsetting you guys. dave was more worried about that than i was. i didnt mean for any of this to happen.
the bottom line is that when dave was finally down for the summer and things were okay with us... you guys didnt know how to react, and i cant say that i blame you. i didnt give you the chance to like dave because the images you associated with our relationship were those of me crying at the movies, or down brook's street. i love dave and i am happier with him than i have ever been with any guy. unfortunately, when dave felt some sort of tension or something coming from my friends, he felt awkward around them. that's when things like my birthday party started to get weird. he didnt like being around you guys becuse he felt that you didnt like being around him and vice versa.
then, when people were hanging out, i wouldnt get a call because it was assumed that i would be with dave... to busy to hang out. you all have boyfriends and i like them all. when you'd all hangout together, i wish mine and dave;s names werent taboo. kim, we can have a you and me day. dave and i didnt have the luxury of being able to see eachother much at the beginning of our relationship, sowe were kind of catching up from that. it would be nice if the two of us could be invited to kim;s, or wherever, when everyone is getting together. it would be nice if you guys could try and get to know dave, because we all seem to have the same taste in friends (being that we are all friends), and dave has been a really good friend of mine for four years. if you got to know him,im sure youd agree that he's not so bad.
dave wrote an entry on the subject: http://www.livejournal.com/users/sgasrock/
just thought i'd show you the entry because he does, sincerely, want to be friends with you guys... and so do i!
i know he wont read this, but i wanted to thank jon his advice on the subject.
my relationship with dave doesnt make any of you any less important... i'd like to have my friends around even when i'm happy and have no complaints in the world.
i love you guys, and i love dave! i dont want to lose any of you!
love always,
sarabeans
this entry is mainly for brook, april, kim, and isis (at least those are the ones with ljs)....
i'm not sure how to begin except to say that it's no own's fault but my own. i know that you are each upset with me, however much you may deny it. i also understand why. kim, i know what you meant about becoming another jackie, and i'm sorry that i seem to be heading in that direction at such a fast pace, but i'd like to explain, and perhaps, redeem myself a little.
to begin, i just want you to know that i am the one that has been chosing not to hang out with the gang so much... not dave... at all. monday night, i was the one who decided to leave. it's hard to be in a room full of people who think of you as someone who was once a good friend. i know that you all look at me differently because of my relationship with dave. i know that you have also started to resent him because you think he's taking over my life, but it's dave that suggests i invite kim to the museum with us or april and johanna to watch a movie. dave is not monopolizing my time without my permission. he is, in fact, only obeying my wishes.
my first mistake was fighting in front of you guys. we had spats on the phone, and the only times that you ever saw dave and me together, i was crying or miserable. i guess i let you believe that these quarrells were all dave;s doing, but in reality, it was the two of us being dumb or stubborn. we both made our fair share of mistakes. we've figured things out between us now though... we're both happy, and we dont have any problems. most of our arguments had to do with the fear of upsetting you guys. dave was more worried about that than i was. i didnt mean for any of this to happen.
the bottom line is that when dave was finally down for the summer and things were okay with us... you guys didnt know how to react, and i cant say that i blame you. i didnt give you the chance to like dave because the images you associated with our relationship were those of me crying at the movies, or down brook's street. i love dave and i am happier with him than i have ever been with any guy. unfortunately, when dave felt some sort of tension or something coming from my friends, he felt awkward around them. that's when things like my birthday party started to get weird. he didnt like being around you guys becuse he felt that you didnt like being around him and vice versa.
then, when people were hanging out, i wouldnt get a call because it was assumed that i would be with dave... to busy to hang out. you all have boyfriends and i like them all. when you'd all hangout together, i wish mine and dave;s names werent taboo. kim, we can have a you and me day. dave and i didnt have the luxury of being able to see eachother much at the beginning of our relationship, sowe were kind of catching up from that. it would be nice if the two of us could be invited to kim;s, or wherever, when everyone is getting together. it would be nice if you guys could try and get to know dave, because we all seem to have the same taste in friends (being that we are all friends), and dave has been a really good friend of mine for four years. if you got to know him,im sure youd agree that he's not so bad.
dave wrote an entry on the subject: http://www.livejournal.com/users/sgasrock/
just thought i'd show you the entry because he does, sincerely, want to be friends with you guys... and so do i!
i know he wont read this, but i wanted to thank jon his advice on the subject.
my relationship with dave doesnt make any of you any less important... i'd like to have my friends around even when i'm happy and have no complaints in the world.
i love you guys, and i love dave! i dont want to lose any of you!
love always,
sarabeans