Indecision
I feel like I don't know which way my life is supposed to go. There are many things that give me pleasure, which on the surface sounds like it should be a good thing. However, it's these forces of pleasure that pull me in so many different directions that I'm not sure where to go. I can spend months of my life obsessing over one thing only to be distracted by something else; months go by and I have forgotten the first thing and I'm on the verge of forgetting the second for a third. I just don't know what I want to be when I want to grow up. That's essentially what I'm whining about here. This is just super stream-of-consciousness, I know, I just can't make a decision. Granted, I still have three grueling semesters of school left, but me being antsy about the future coupled with indecision has led me to living a stagnant life. I'm wifed up, as it were. I don't really do anything. I quit my job after I couldn't handle it anymore and while my new job is exciting, I work like ten hours a week which leaves me with a lot of spare time. Maybe that's it. Maybe the purpose of human existence is to distract ourselves for long enough that we think we're happy, and then we die. Otherwise we just go stale and stagnant. I don't know. I'm depressed. I've been depressed for a while. I don't know how to not be depressed. I don't know how to dig hoist myself back to the happy-go-lucky life I once enjoyed.
Where is it now, the glory and the dream?
Where is it now, the glory and the dream?