Hm.
So. I've been meaning to update for a while now, I just haven't really had the proper state of mind to do an entry. Either that, or I've just been busy with classes and reading the incredible amount of shit I've been assigned to read outside of class. My english professor is a nutcase from West Virginia. That class is most certainly going to be a bitch.
I've done some pretty cool things since I got here. Last night I saw Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman at the Pittsburgh Playhouse. The coolest part is that the show was directed by Arthur Miller's son! How kickass is that? On top of that I've taken my first city bus (woo!), got a shot at the Allegheny County Board of Health, aka the breeding ground of unwed mothers in Harlem. Seriously, I was surprised I didn't get a cap popped in my ass while I was there. I went to a Pirates game, which was kinda fun, even though I'm not really a big baseball guy. It's been interesting.
However. I've been having a really strange case of questioning my own identity. Something doesn't feel right, and that feeling is flooding every aspect of my life with a terrible downpour of doubt. Namely, what I'm going to do in the future. Do I really want to go into film? Sure, it's probably one of my greatest passions in life, but whats going to happen if something doesn't work out with that down the line in life? I'm just not sure. I'm almost to the point where I crave some form of comfort in that of a backup plan. I mean, graduating with a degree in Cinema with a concentration in Screenwriting doesn't really leave room for anything else. I don't know.
I worry too much, probably. Too much about the future. Yet I can't bring myself to just let go and live in the now. I've pretty much lost the ability to just hang loose and say fuck it. Perhaps I'm just creating my own problems...I don't know. I'm just a little lost and searching for answers. Probably looking too far ahead, but searching for answers none the less.
Until next time.
I've done some pretty cool things since I got here. Last night I saw Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman at the Pittsburgh Playhouse. The coolest part is that the show was directed by Arthur Miller's son! How kickass is that? On top of that I've taken my first city bus (woo!), got a shot at the Allegheny County Board of Health, aka the breeding ground of unwed mothers in Harlem. Seriously, I was surprised I didn't get a cap popped in my ass while I was there. I went to a Pirates game, which was kinda fun, even though I'm not really a big baseball guy. It's been interesting.
However. I've been having a really strange case of questioning my own identity. Something doesn't feel right, and that feeling is flooding every aspect of my life with a terrible downpour of doubt. Namely, what I'm going to do in the future. Do I really want to go into film? Sure, it's probably one of my greatest passions in life, but whats going to happen if something doesn't work out with that down the line in life? I'm just not sure. I'm almost to the point where I crave some form of comfort in that of a backup plan. I mean, graduating with a degree in Cinema with a concentration in Screenwriting doesn't really leave room for anything else. I don't know.
I worry too much, probably. Too much about the future. Yet I can't bring myself to just let go and live in the now. I've pretty much lost the ability to just hang loose and say fuck it. Perhaps I'm just creating my own problems...I don't know. I'm just a little lost and searching for answers. Probably looking too far ahead, but searching for answers none the less.
Until next time.