Long Road
Yeah, I never update. Never enough time, I miss the days when I had time to do such things as update with obscenely long journal updates and such.
Anyway . . .
Heather is moved in the house. Things are going good, she's keeping me from going totally insane with all the shit thats been happening lately, amazinly. I'm usually a tough one to keep in check with certain things.
I guess the first bit, as some of you may know, my mom has a dangerously high good chance of having M.S. or Multiple Sclerosis. She had an M.R.I. done and her doctor told her it's either that or Alzheimers. But he feels it's more M.S., she goes to a Neurologist the day after Christmas to get the detailed results of the M.R.I. scans. So that's been a rough thing thus far. And my uncle goes this week for a pacemaker and defibulator (sp?). And that one worries me too, I mean it's meant to help his heart, but still scares me though.
And all this shit had me thinking about my dad today. I have to call to check on him. He's actually the healthiest one that I am related to I think. But I still need to check on him though. He's my one concern because I don't see him nor talk to him alot, so if anything is wrong I wouldn't know unless I called to find out you know?
And this M.S. thing bothers the hell out of me, mom is taking it better than I am, or at least she leads me to believe she is taking it better. But she's not one to hide emotions, so I take it as the truth. I know it must have knocked a new perspective into her life, but it also knocked one into me as well. I can't properly explain it to be honest. All I know is, even though the M.S. isn't a death sentence right away, I do accept Death and it can happen at any given moment. So I am trying to view life differently. Not that I am afraid to kick off mind you, I just want to experience things before I expire like 3 month old milk. It is hard to do when you're broke though. I do feel that the rate I am going, I will wake up older and near death and go, "What the fuck happened to the time?"
So, hopefully with me going to DeVry for computers I can make a living and manage to live a decent life and accomplish what I want to accomplish. I just hope I am doing the right thing. I really don't want to wake up and never regain the time I lost.
Life is scary, but whatever, I'll manage, I always do, right?
So that's about it really. Just thankful that Heather is keeping me sane through this long, strange and terrible journey. Christ, I'm exhausted and I need to be at work at 4. Fuck.
-J-
Anyway . . .
Heather is moved in the house. Things are going good, she's keeping me from going totally insane with all the shit thats been happening lately, amazinly. I'm usually a tough one to keep in check with certain things.
I guess the first bit, as some of you may know, my mom has a dangerously high good chance of having M.S. or Multiple Sclerosis. She had an M.R.I. done and her doctor told her it's either that or Alzheimers. But he feels it's more M.S., she goes to a Neurologist the day after Christmas to get the detailed results of the M.R.I. scans. So that's been a rough thing thus far. And my uncle goes this week for a pacemaker and defibulator (sp?). And that one worries me too, I mean it's meant to help his heart, but still scares me though.
And all this shit had me thinking about my dad today. I have to call to check on him. He's actually the healthiest one that I am related to I think. But I still need to check on him though. He's my one concern because I don't see him nor talk to him alot, so if anything is wrong I wouldn't know unless I called to find out you know?
And this M.S. thing bothers the hell out of me, mom is taking it better than I am, or at least she leads me to believe she is taking it better. But she's not one to hide emotions, so I take it as the truth. I know it must have knocked a new perspective into her life, but it also knocked one into me as well. I can't properly explain it to be honest. All I know is, even though the M.S. isn't a death sentence right away, I do accept Death and it can happen at any given moment. So I am trying to view life differently. Not that I am afraid to kick off mind you, I just want to experience things before I expire like 3 month old milk. It is hard to do when you're broke though. I do feel that the rate I am going, I will wake up older and near death and go, "What the fuck happened to the time?"
So, hopefully with me going to DeVry for computers I can make a living and manage to live a decent life and accomplish what I want to accomplish. I just hope I am doing the right thing. I really don't want to wake up and never regain the time I lost.
Life is scary, but whatever, I'll manage, I always do, right?
So that's about it really. Just thankful that Heather is keeping me sane through this long, strange and terrible journey. Christ, I'm exhausted and I need to be at work at 4. Fuck.
-J-