(no subject)
I got fired, for smokin weed on the job~!!!!! I suck I suck I suck I suck! Why does it only take one small little choice in time to change everything. Bah! You know, I have to be honest, the way my mind works, I didnt even kick myself in the ass that much, my first thought was, ok, get through this, and learn a huge lesson on how normal people dont get high at work, at school, ect, and you be ok~!! I just was like ok, cover the bases so Mom and Dad dont know why I got fired and then move on, get another job, back at it. I feel like there should be more of an emotional response, like maybe crying or jsut feeling bad, but I am today thinking, wow a new day, new opportunity, not so much wanting to work 12 hr days anymore. And hey, Im already a couple thousand up and it is not even the end of Sept.....yet! Soemtimes! I wish I could be a big sissy and feel helpless, maybe smack myslef around, let my mind think horrid thoughts, maybe just for an hour. Yet! The art of opptomism!