Movies: 2007
The following are the movies that I saw, whether theatrically or via dvd or tv or whatnot, in 2007:
Reno 911!: Miami
Zodiac
300
Blades Of Glory
Grindhouse
Hot Fuzz
The Condemned
Spider-Man 3
28 Weeks Later
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Knocked Up
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Black Sheep
Live Free Or Die Hard
Ratatouille
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The Simpsons Movie
Hot Rod
Superbad
The Brothers Solomon
3:10 To Yuma
Resident Evil: Extinction
30 Days Of Night
No Country For Old Men
The Mist
I Am Legend
Grand Total: 27 movies.
Now then, some superlatives:
Best Overall Moviegoing Experience: Grindhouse. Those who missed this in the theater really missed out on something special. The separate DVD releases of Planet Terror and Death Proof was, unequivocally, a colossal mistake. Oh, and that brings me to my first dvd-related category.
Most Disturbing Trend In DVD Releases: Non-Theatrical DVD Releases. I can't speak for anyone else here, only myself, but I'm really irritated when a movie comes out on DVD in altered form than how it was released in the theaters. Grindhouse gets broken up into its two main features, losing the majority of the fake trailers strewn about the films and gaining supposedly enticing "bonus footage," all of which is barely noticeable in Planet Terror's case, and completely bloated and excessive in Death Proof's case. Judd Apatow is also incredibly guilty of this, adding in some cases 30 more minutes of footage to already bordering-on-overlong comedies like The 40-Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad. There's a reason those scenes were cut in the first place, Judd...they're not very funny. It wouldn't be that bad if they released the theatrical cut along with the unrated versions, but if they're getting released, I can't find them anywhere.
Speaking of Judd...
Best Funny Movie I Have No Desire To Ever See Again Due To The Fact That I Know I Will Not Find It Funny A Second Time: Knocked Up.
Best Funny Movies I Have No Desire To Ever See Again Due To The Fact That I Saw Them Both On Dates With A Girl Who Then Broke Up With Me, Thus Ruining Said Movies For Me, The Bitch: Hot Rod and Superbad.
Best Use of Bill Hader: Saturday Night Live funnyman Bill Hader (of Laser Cats fame) was in apparently every single movie I saw this year. Well, maybe not EVERY movie, but he was definitely in Knocked Up, Hot Rod, Superbad, and Brothers Solomon. And the best useage of Bill Hader was in...Brothers Solomon! Look for him, he's the recumbant biker, and his brief moment onscreen is a giddy highlight.
Best Bang For The Summer Buck: Transformers. I don't care what all the Transformers nerds say, this movie fucking rocked.
Most Enjoyable Sequel To A Crappy Previous Installment: Resident Evil: Extinction. Who'd have guessed? I mean, it would have had to have been pretty godawful not to be better than the second Resident Evil movie, but I actually found myself enjoying it.
Least Enjoyable Sequel To A Non-Crappy Previous Installment: Spider-Man 3. Here's the thing I don't get, a lot of people I know who complained about Transformers REALLY liked Spider-Man 3. At the time, I had this to say about Spider-Man 3, and it still holds true: there were moments during this movie that I was certain, CERTAIN, it was literally never going to end. Unfocused, poorly thought-out, and not in the least bit engaging.
Best Movie Based On A Book That I've Read: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Except for Helena Bonham-Carter. She's terrible. I'm not exactly sure when she stopped being a good actress. For some reason, I want to lay the blame at Tim Burton's feet. Remember when she was in like, A Room With A View, and Howard's End? So when did this descent into suck start? Fight Club? Planet of the Apes? I'll let you all decide for yourselves. Nowadays, she's only good when she's doing voiceovers, like in The Corpse Bride or Wallace and Gromit. God she's awful in this.
Worst Movie Based On A Book That I Haven't Read: No Country For Old Men. Not since The English Patient have I seen so many critics fall over themselves to praise a movie that I just didn't think was really all that good. Well, okay, I guess since Sideways. But, before anyone jumps down my throat, here's my stance on No Country For Old Men: it's wonderfully acted. Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, and Kelly MacDonald do terrific jobs with their roles. It is capably directed. It looks beautiful. It is nicely taut, nicely tense. But then, okay. It's moving along, and I'm pretty riveted, and then with about fifteen-twenty minutes left, it's as if the Coen Brothers decided to stop writing, and turn what's left of the script over to Marlon Brando as Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now. A full month later, and I'm still going, "WTF?!?"
The "Boy Is There Egg On My Face" Award: To Thomas Jane's character in The Mist.
Turn Off Your Brain And Go With It, And It's Actually Quite Enjoyable: (tie) Live Free Or Die Hard, The Condemned.
The Script Accidentally Printed Out Caps-Locked: 300. Also, shut up, Faramir.
Most Disappointing Movie Based On What Seems Like A Can't-Miss Premise: Black Sheep.
You know what, I'm just realizing this now, but I think Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix may have been my favorite movie of the year. Go figure.
Reno 911!: Miami
Zodiac
300
Blades Of Glory
Grindhouse
Hot Fuzz
The Condemned
Spider-Man 3
28 Weeks Later
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Knocked Up
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer
Black Sheep
Live Free Or Die Hard
Ratatouille
Transformers
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The Simpsons Movie
Hot Rod
Superbad
The Brothers Solomon
3:10 To Yuma
Resident Evil: Extinction
30 Days Of Night
No Country For Old Men
The Mist
I Am Legend
Grand Total: 27 movies.
Now then, some superlatives:
Best Overall Moviegoing Experience: Grindhouse. Those who missed this in the theater really missed out on something special. The separate DVD releases of Planet Terror and Death Proof was, unequivocally, a colossal mistake. Oh, and that brings me to my first dvd-related category.
Most Disturbing Trend In DVD Releases: Non-Theatrical DVD Releases. I can't speak for anyone else here, only myself, but I'm really irritated when a movie comes out on DVD in altered form than how it was released in the theaters. Grindhouse gets broken up into its two main features, losing the majority of the fake trailers strewn about the films and gaining supposedly enticing "bonus footage," all of which is barely noticeable in Planet Terror's case, and completely bloated and excessive in Death Proof's case. Judd Apatow is also incredibly guilty of this, adding in some cases 30 more minutes of footage to already bordering-on-overlong comedies like The 40-Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, and Superbad. There's a reason those scenes were cut in the first place, Judd...they're not very funny. It wouldn't be that bad if they released the theatrical cut along with the unrated versions, but if they're getting released, I can't find them anywhere.
Speaking of Judd...
Best Funny Movie I Have No Desire To Ever See Again Due To The Fact That I Know I Will Not Find It Funny A Second Time: Knocked Up.
Best Funny Movies I Have No Desire To Ever See Again Due To The Fact That I Saw Them Both On Dates With A Girl Who Then Broke Up With Me, Thus Ruining Said Movies For Me, The Bitch: Hot Rod and Superbad.
Best Use of Bill Hader: Saturday Night Live funnyman Bill Hader (of Laser Cats fame) was in apparently every single movie I saw this year. Well, maybe not EVERY movie, but he was definitely in Knocked Up, Hot Rod, Superbad, and Brothers Solomon. And the best useage of Bill Hader was in...Brothers Solomon! Look for him, he's the recumbant biker, and his brief moment onscreen is a giddy highlight.
Best Bang For The Summer Buck: Transformers. I don't care what all the Transformers nerds say, this movie fucking rocked.
Most Enjoyable Sequel To A Crappy Previous Installment: Resident Evil: Extinction. Who'd have guessed? I mean, it would have had to have been pretty godawful not to be better than the second Resident Evil movie, but I actually found myself enjoying it.
Least Enjoyable Sequel To A Non-Crappy Previous Installment: Spider-Man 3. Here's the thing I don't get, a lot of people I know who complained about Transformers REALLY liked Spider-Man 3. At the time, I had this to say about Spider-Man 3, and it still holds true: there were moments during this movie that I was certain, CERTAIN, it was literally never going to end. Unfocused, poorly thought-out, and not in the least bit engaging.
Best Movie Based On A Book That I've Read: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Except for Helena Bonham-Carter. She's terrible. I'm not exactly sure when she stopped being a good actress. For some reason, I want to lay the blame at Tim Burton's feet. Remember when she was in like, A Room With A View, and Howard's End? So when did this descent into suck start? Fight Club? Planet of the Apes? I'll let you all decide for yourselves. Nowadays, she's only good when she's doing voiceovers, like in The Corpse Bride or Wallace and Gromit. God she's awful in this.
Worst Movie Based On A Book That I Haven't Read: No Country For Old Men. Not since The English Patient have I seen so many critics fall over themselves to praise a movie that I just didn't think was really all that good. Well, okay, I guess since Sideways. But, before anyone jumps down my throat, here's my stance on No Country For Old Men: it's wonderfully acted. Tommy Lee Jones, Josh Brolin, Javier Bardem, and Kelly MacDonald do terrific jobs with their roles. It is capably directed. It looks beautiful. It is nicely taut, nicely tense. But then, okay. It's moving along, and I'm pretty riveted, and then with about fifteen-twenty minutes left, it's as if the Coen Brothers decided to stop writing, and turn what's left of the script over to Marlon Brando as Colonel Kurtz in Apocalypse Now. A full month later, and I'm still going, "WTF?!?"
The "Boy Is There Egg On My Face" Award: To Thomas Jane's character in The Mist.
Turn Off Your Brain And Go With It, And It's Actually Quite Enjoyable: (tie) Live Free Or Die Hard, The Condemned.
The Script Accidentally Printed Out Caps-Locked: 300. Also, shut up, Faramir.
Most Disappointing Movie Based On What Seems Like A Can't-Miss Premise: Black Sheep.
You know what, I'm just realizing this now, but I think Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix may have been my favorite movie of the year. Go figure.