Children: The future downfall of humanity
After watching I Am Legend tonight, AvP:R last night, and 28 Weeks Later a few months ago, I've come to a simple conclusion: When the apocalypse comes, it will be children that lead intrepid survivors to their deaths. In I Am Legend, the little brother of the girl who saves Neville can't keep his mouth shut when there's a freaking zombie/vampire in the room, and attracts his attention. In 28 Weeks Later, the little boy becomes a carrier of the rage virus, winds up leaving England because of the sympathy of his sister and an Army pilot, causing the outbreak to reach mainland Europe. AvP:R had a little girl in it who liked to scream, but this girl appeared to know how to shut up for a change, and I think the writers forgot that she was even there for a couple of scenes (in that movie it was instead the teenagers who fucked over each other and themselves). Still, having the child did not benefit the group, since they were worried about her survival.
Children don't have that same self control instinct that adults do, and like to make a lot of noise. Since adults have an instinctual desire to protect the little ones, they put their lives on the line to defend them, and eventually get everyone killed. The kids attract the attention of the monsters or, in the case of 28 Weeks, become carriers or some-such of whatever microadversary we happen to be fighting this time, and since people aren't willing to leave them behind they instead carry them back to civilization and screw over the planet. Teens aren't much better, because though they can generally keep quiet and controlled and know how to handle a gun, it doesn't take much to push the hormone-crazed pseudo adults over the edge into vengeance mode, which any survivor knows is a sure fire way to get people killed.
Now, not all kids are the harbingers of doom. Some develop a sense of self control early on, whether through genetics, through upbringing, or through desensitization by playing video games too violent for kids their age. These children are pretty easy to spot: they don't make much noise in restaurants or the theater, they don't pester their parents for hours on end in the store, and while they enjoy playing much as other children do, they've figured out how to have fun without screeching. I like these children, and hope to raise some such as them if and when I eventually have a family for the sake of my own sanity and also for the sake of the family, because when the apocalypse finally arrives I'll know I can tell them to shut up and follow me to a helicopter, and they won't freak out at the first sign of adversity. At that point, Darwin will be favoring the quiet, sneaky, quick survivor, which is what we really should be breeding in society anyway (though if everyone were well behaved, I don't think we'd have enough people to fill congress. Zing!). Let these movies be a lesson: teach your kids to be quiet and to behave on their own, and you'll have a first class ticket to the survivors colony if you make it past the first few days of the apocalypse.
Children don't have that same self control instinct that adults do, and like to make a lot of noise. Since adults have an instinctual desire to protect the little ones, they put their lives on the line to defend them, and eventually get everyone killed. The kids attract the attention of the monsters or, in the case of 28 Weeks, become carriers or some-such of whatever microadversary we happen to be fighting this time, and since people aren't willing to leave them behind they instead carry them back to civilization and screw over the planet. Teens aren't much better, because though they can generally keep quiet and controlled and know how to handle a gun, it doesn't take much to push the hormone-crazed pseudo adults over the edge into vengeance mode, which any survivor knows is a sure fire way to get people killed.
Now, not all kids are the harbingers of doom. Some develop a sense of self control early on, whether through genetics, through upbringing, or through desensitization by playing video games too violent for kids their age. These children are pretty easy to spot: they don't make much noise in restaurants or the theater, they don't pester their parents for hours on end in the store, and while they enjoy playing much as other children do, they've figured out how to have fun without screeching. I like these children, and hope to raise some such as them if and when I eventually have a family for the sake of my own sanity and also for the sake of the family, because when the apocalypse finally arrives I'll know I can tell them to shut up and follow me to a helicopter, and they won't freak out at the first sign of adversity. At that point, Darwin will be favoring the quiet, sneaky, quick survivor, which is what we really should be breeding in society anyway (though if everyone were well behaved, I don't think we'd have enough people to fill congress. Zing!). Let these movies be a lesson: teach your kids to be quiet and to behave on their own, and you'll have a first class ticket to the survivors colony if you make it past the first few days of the apocalypse.