(no subject)
I am so confused right now.
The guy I was seeing (but not really) is not for me, I can admit that. I think I am having trouble letting go of the fact that someone who has an interest in me is just not really my type. Anyways, we've been fighting a lot (and it's only been three weeks) and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.
But I've been told by a few people (all of them guys) that I am too cold and need to loosen up. I don't even understand what this means. Am I supposed to just fuck anyone I come in contact with? Or does it mean I have to be completely open with someone who is essentially a stranger? What is wrong with me just wanted to have a normally-paced relationship with someone? And what is wrong with me being celibate until that person and i get together?
Similarily, why do I always feel like I'm the one giving in and apologizing for the "way I am", and then feeling shitty when I get defensive and angry when someone makes:
1. Broad (untrue) statements/insults about my personality
2. Comments about the way I act in a belittling fashion
3. Sarcastic comments intended on putting the entire blame on me.
I realize I have a bad temper and that I expect a lot from people, but I ALSO expect a lot from myself too. I don't hold people to standards that I don't try to reach. And so now I'm like thinking I have some sort of bipolar personality, because on the one hand I don't want to take shit from people, and on the other I want to be understanding and not hurt anyone's feelings. WHERE IS THE LINE.
Blah, sometimes I really wonder if I'm just an animal person and not someone to date. Seriously.
The guy I was seeing (but not really) is not for me, I can admit that. I think I am having trouble letting go of the fact that someone who has an interest in me is just not really my type. Anyways, we've been fighting a lot (and it's only been three weeks) and I just don't want to deal with it anymore.
But I've been told by a few people (all of them guys) that I am too cold and need to loosen up. I don't even understand what this means. Am I supposed to just fuck anyone I come in contact with? Or does it mean I have to be completely open with someone who is essentially a stranger? What is wrong with me just wanted to have a normally-paced relationship with someone? And what is wrong with me being celibate until that person and i get together?
Similarily, why do I always feel like I'm the one giving in and apologizing for the "way I am", and then feeling shitty when I get defensive and angry when someone makes:
1. Broad (untrue) statements/insults about my personality
2. Comments about the way I act in a belittling fashion
3. Sarcastic comments intended on putting the entire blame on me.
I realize I have a bad temper and that I expect a lot from people, but I ALSO expect a lot from myself too. I don't hold people to standards that I don't try to reach. And so now I'm like thinking I have some sort of bipolar personality, because on the one hand I don't want to take shit from people, and on the other I want to be understanding and not hurt anyone's feelings. WHERE IS THE LINE.
Blah, sometimes I really wonder if I'm just an animal person and not someone to date. Seriously.