No israel for me
Let me just say that I now have an official phobia of Newark New Jersey,stemming from the traumatic ordeal I endured there this weekend. It all began as I stood in line, surrounded by the jewiest jews I ever did see, waiting to board my flight to Tel Aviv. I was suddenly overcome with the most gut-wrenching, terrifying pain in my left side. I tried to ignore it, hoped it would pass. I got onto the plane. But then it got worse, and I was sweaty and shaking and spit was flowing out of my mouth uncontrollably. So they turned the plane around and let me off and I started projectile vomiting all over the airport until they took me in an ambulance to the filthiest hospital I have ever been in! After getting all kinds of medicines and ivs and crying and barfing for several hours, they released me, and I found myself stranded in Newark with no way home, as my negligent parents refused to come up there and get me. So I took a cab for $120 to Trenton, and then a train back to Philly. And now my luggage is in Israel but I am at home with a kidney stone that wont come out of my body.