Life in the B&B and my Dad
Dad's been in intensive care for over a month, thankfully he's getting better, and may be back on a normal ward by next week. The poor fella, he's been through a really, really tough time. So glad he's getting better, because the first night he was admitted the doctors thought he might not survive the night.
I split with Ang a couple of months ago and have been living in a B&B near Mossley. The hardest part as always is the animals. I still see them occasionally, but it hurts me so I think i'm going to have a clean break. Also she doesn't like seeing me as it hurts her. I'm fairly much over her in the sense that I can't imagine ever wanting to be back in a relationship with the woman (I chose to leave), but there are still the memories of the good times which are now tinged with sadness. That's the problem with failed relationships, they leave whole series of years of memories of your life tinged with sadness, there is something really unfair about that.
We went to my friends wedding, and did the camping trip and it was by the end of that weekend I'd decided I'd had it with the relationship, it was my "giving up" point. But I think it's fair to say that at the present point I'm more upset about losing Toddy the dog, and Hannah the cat, than Angela the girlfriend. Toddy goes so nuts when he sees me, it's like Christmas for him, he wees he's so excited, and to think I'll have deserted him really cuts me up. Looking at a house this weekend, so never know I might have some new digs eventually.
I'm back on escitalopram, but as I was on citalopram (borrowed from Ang) for about 2 years, it's pretty much the same. Only thing with escitalopram is it gives you a bit more of that "couldn't give a stuff" attitude, though right now in my life, that's probably what I need. So i'm not exactly depressed, but I'm certainly re-evaluating what I want to do with my life in a fairly big way. Have even been thinking about a change of direction in career instead of assuming that managing UNIX and networking infrastructure is all I'll do all my life.. suppose big shakeups like relationships ending cause you to re-evaluate who you are, and where you're going and it feels scary, but also, slightly like an opportunity.
Oh, and through an accident, I now own 2 caravans, both of which are pretty much useless to a young(???) single guy. As is a Volvo estate. Sigh. So that's the other thing, prolly sell everything except the RX7, and replace my standard mode of transport with an electric bicycle.
I split with Ang a couple of months ago and have been living in a B&B near Mossley. The hardest part as always is the animals. I still see them occasionally, but it hurts me so I think i'm going to have a clean break. Also she doesn't like seeing me as it hurts her. I'm fairly much over her in the sense that I can't imagine ever wanting to be back in a relationship with the woman (I chose to leave), but there are still the memories of the good times which are now tinged with sadness. That's the problem with failed relationships, they leave whole series of years of memories of your life tinged with sadness, there is something really unfair about that.
We went to my friends wedding, and did the camping trip and it was by the end of that weekend I'd decided I'd had it with the relationship, it was my "giving up" point. But I think it's fair to say that at the present point I'm more upset about losing Toddy the dog, and Hannah the cat, than Angela the girlfriend. Toddy goes so nuts when he sees me, it's like Christmas for him, he wees he's so excited, and to think I'll have deserted him really cuts me up. Looking at a house this weekend, so never know I might have some new digs eventually.
I'm back on escitalopram, but as I was on citalopram (borrowed from Ang) for about 2 years, it's pretty much the same. Only thing with escitalopram is it gives you a bit more of that "couldn't give a stuff" attitude, though right now in my life, that's probably what I need. So i'm not exactly depressed, but I'm certainly re-evaluating what I want to do with my life in a fairly big way. Have even been thinking about a change of direction in career instead of assuming that managing UNIX and networking infrastructure is all I'll do all my life.. suppose big shakeups like relationships ending cause you to re-evaluate who you are, and where you're going and it feels scary, but also, slightly like an opportunity.
Oh, and through an accident, I now own 2 caravans, both of which are pretty much useless to a young(???) single guy. As is a Volvo estate. Sigh. So that's the other thing, prolly sell everything except the RX7, and replace my standard mode of transport with an electric bicycle.