Your Phone Stinks
Sorry for not updating much, but I've been busy visiting galaxies far, far away.
Well, there hasn't been much happening in my life (aside from the galaxy hopping) but my friends (yes, I do have some) however had some great tales, one of which I'll be kind enough to share with you.
There's a certain record store up in Riverside where the employees are told to chase down customers who steal cd's, (no, they don't offer hazard pay) and my friend happens to work there. Well, as fate would have it, there was a theft on the day he was working. So, like a good 'lil employee, he and the manager had to chase after the fool.
Well anyway, my friend managed to catch the guy and luckily the guy wasn't carrying a gun.
Now here comes the weird part. When they brought the thief back to be held for the cops, they placed him in a back room while another employee watched over him. What I should also tell you is that this back room is a place where many of the employees keep their cell phones. (The store, fearing the employees would use their cell phones during work, tells them to keep it in the back so they can use it during breaks).
When the cops finally arrived and were about to take the suspect away, everyone went to check on their personal belongings. All the employees seemed to have had their items in order; well, all except for one person - my friend. Apparently his phone went missing while the suspect was in the back (even under another employee's supervision), so he ran out to the cops just as they were about to haul the suspect 'downtown' (I've always wanted to say that).
After a couple minutes of searching the suspect, the cops weren't able to find it on him leaving my friend to wonder where his cell went.
A couple hours later, my friend got a call on the store's telephone and was told that the cops finally located his phone. As it turned out, the thief really did have it. (Some of you probably already guessed where the thief hid my friend's phone; and if you guessed his ASS, you win)!
Yep! It was in his ass...
You know, I've seen my friend's phone. It's a pretty nice flip phone but it isn't exactly the smallest phone in the world. Actually, I would say it's got some good thickness to it. So how that thief managed to ram that phone up his ass without seriously tearing up his anus is beyond me....
Anyway, the cops that arrived earlier came back again only this time they carried a pair of latex gloves and a manila folder containing the shit-stained phone with them.
Of course to this day my friend hasn't opened the package and is pondering ways of trading that phone in for another. But what everyone else was wondering was, "Did the thief put the phone on vibrate before he shoved it up his ass hoping that you would call it, thinking you could locate it by sound?" Oh well, who cares. At least he has a good story to tell his grandkids now.
Well, there hasn't been much happening in my life (aside from the galaxy hopping) but my friends (yes, I do have some) however had some great tales, one of which I'll be kind enough to share with you.
There's a certain record store up in Riverside where the employees are told to chase down customers who steal cd's, (no, they don't offer hazard pay) and my friend happens to work there. Well, as fate would have it, there was a theft on the day he was working. So, like a good 'lil employee, he and the manager had to chase after the fool.
Well anyway, my friend managed to catch the guy and luckily the guy wasn't carrying a gun.
Now here comes the weird part. When they brought the thief back to be held for the cops, they placed him in a back room while another employee watched over him. What I should also tell you is that this back room is a place where many of the employees keep their cell phones. (The store, fearing the employees would use their cell phones during work, tells them to keep it in the back so they can use it during breaks).
When the cops finally arrived and were about to take the suspect away, everyone went to check on their personal belongings. All the employees seemed to have had their items in order; well, all except for one person - my friend. Apparently his phone went missing while the suspect was in the back (even under another employee's supervision), so he ran out to the cops just as they were about to haul the suspect 'downtown' (I've always wanted to say that).
After a couple minutes of searching the suspect, the cops weren't able to find it on him leaving my friend to wonder where his cell went.
A couple hours later, my friend got a call on the store's telephone and was told that the cops finally located his phone. As it turned out, the thief really did have it. (Some of you probably already guessed where the thief hid my friend's phone; and if you guessed his ASS, you win)!
Yep! It was in his ass...
You know, I've seen my friend's phone. It's a pretty nice flip phone but it isn't exactly the smallest phone in the world. Actually, I would say it's got some good thickness to it. So how that thief managed to ram that phone up his ass without seriously tearing up his anus is beyond me....
Anyway, the cops that arrived earlier came back again only this time they carried a pair of latex gloves and a manila folder containing the shit-stained phone with them.
Of course to this day my friend hasn't opened the package and is pondering ways of trading that phone in for another. But what everyone else was wondering was, "Did the thief put the phone on vibrate before he shoved it up his ass hoping that you would call it, thinking you could locate it by sound?" Oh well, who cares. At least he has a good story to tell his grandkids now.