MY MEMORIES OF YOU, REMIND ME!
Hey
hows it going, I just had a freaking relapse! I don't know how to explain it!
I'm excited aboit auditions tommorow, owever I'm still not even sure what I'm singing, talk about last minute!
I don't know if my life is so confusing or I make it that way, I miss my friend, Aree, I really need to talk to her like we used to! I really miss her!
I also am missing others.... however I really don't think I should be putting this up here because I really don't want to stir things back up!
I hate how songs that used to be happy and lovely and reminded you of how much you loved someone turn to something that brings up hurt and pain! I don't if it is just me or it is everyone but that is how it feels!
Here is a poem that I wrote that exspresses everything I feel:( you don't have to read it however if you want, cool)
Love, is it so bad?
Love is an ever growing question
one that flows through everyone's head
however, the truth is there are no answers, or rules, or even guidlines
love plays dirty and blames it on life
It percieves itself to be a beautiful thing, that is so easy to attain, but it's not
It travels and tackles and boasts and curses, and completely tears you apart
It pushes and punces until its successful goal of seeing that bright red liquid flow from yyour body is attained
It kicks and rips at your hearts door, until it comes crashing down and the screams of terror sound
It breaks that guarded iron gate and stone wall that was put up to protect you form harm
And as your down on your knees cowering at its feet
It turns into a humble person who is kind to all, a person who is fun and full of light
It scoops you up and whispers sweet words of happiness in your ear
And then it happens
You fall under its spell
You begin to depend on it, and crave it
Like an adict craves a shot of heroin flowing through his viens
You begin to allow it to explore you in all ways possible
You allow it to feel every inch of your body and begin to love it
Yes, love it
To love love is supposed to be attained only once, and you think you've got it
Well at least you think
Just then it runs from you and latches on to another, just as a leech does to one's skin
It speaks harsh and cusses at fate
It tears holes in your heart and shoots at your spirit
It burns your kisses and spits on your kind words
It scratches at your memories of your body and glares at your face
It beats at the very walls of your entire sole and your meaning for living
It plays screeching music of terroe and the very word HATE is spelled out with each beat of the drum
Your body calapses and each and every breath is sucked form your lungs
Your lying on the dark, damp ground
Your cloths soaked with the blood splattered tears
Your face is dry from the crushed memories flowing down your cheeks
And your body is trembling with the everlasting sound of the word ALONE ringing in your ears
Your eyes role back in your head and you begin to feel the end...
However you are spared by your dying hearts need to know why?
You lick your scrapes and cuts and begin to recoop
You rebuild the wall, close the gate and lock the door, and swear at the thought of wanting love ever again
Just then a knock is heard, and your heart drops...
And the sweet whispers of someone special seep through the cracks of the door
And suddenly the thought of love doesn't seem so bad!
Just thought sfrom my head
I miss.... well it doesn't really matter
hows it going, I just had a freaking relapse! I don't know how to explain it!
I'm excited aboit auditions tommorow, owever I'm still not even sure what I'm singing, talk about last minute!
I don't know if my life is so confusing or I make it that way, I miss my friend, Aree, I really need to talk to her like we used to! I really miss her!
I also am missing others.... however I really don't think I should be putting this up here because I really don't want to stir things back up!
I hate how songs that used to be happy and lovely and reminded you of how much you loved someone turn to something that brings up hurt and pain! I don't if it is just me or it is everyone but that is how it feels!
Here is a poem that I wrote that exspresses everything I feel:( you don't have to read it however if you want, cool)
Love, is it so bad?
Love is an ever growing question
one that flows through everyone's head
however, the truth is there are no answers, or rules, or even guidlines
love plays dirty and blames it on life
It percieves itself to be a beautiful thing, that is so easy to attain, but it's not
It travels and tackles and boasts and curses, and completely tears you apart
It pushes and punces until its successful goal of seeing that bright red liquid flow from yyour body is attained
It kicks and rips at your hearts door, until it comes crashing down and the screams of terror sound
It breaks that guarded iron gate and stone wall that was put up to protect you form harm
And as your down on your knees cowering at its feet
It turns into a humble person who is kind to all, a person who is fun and full of light
It scoops you up and whispers sweet words of happiness in your ear
And then it happens
You fall under its spell
You begin to depend on it, and crave it
Like an adict craves a shot of heroin flowing through his viens
You begin to allow it to explore you in all ways possible
You allow it to feel every inch of your body and begin to love it
Yes, love it
To love love is supposed to be attained only once, and you think you've got it
Well at least you think
Just then it runs from you and latches on to another, just as a leech does to one's skin
It speaks harsh and cusses at fate
It tears holes in your heart and shoots at your spirit
It burns your kisses and spits on your kind words
It scratches at your memories of your body and glares at your face
It beats at the very walls of your entire sole and your meaning for living
It plays screeching music of terroe and the very word HATE is spelled out with each beat of the drum
Your body calapses and each and every breath is sucked form your lungs
Your lying on the dark, damp ground
Your cloths soaked with the blood splattered tears
Your face is dry from the crushed memories flowing down your cheeks
And your body is trembling with the everlasting sound of the word ALONE ringing in your ears
Your eyes role back in your head and you begin to feel the end...
However you are spared by your dying hearts need to know why?
You lick your scrapes and cuts and begin to recoop
You rebuild the wall, close the gate and lock the door, and swear at the thought of wanting love ever again
Just then a knock is heard, and your heart drops...
And the sweet whispers of someone special seep through the cracks of the door
And suddenly the thought of love doesn't seem so bad!
Just thought sfrom my head
I miss.... well it doesn't really matter