(no subject)
Fuck A Lot of That
Girls wear fucking sweat pants as though it were hip couture and it's driving me bonkers. Ladies! Wear something flattering and goddamnit, only the guy you slept with last night thinks you're mildly attractive the morning after he fucked you doggie style. That's it. In class you look like a slob that can't be bothered with personal hygiene or any sort of style. Did you really take a shower and put your Pj's BACK ON? If everyone else in the world bothered to pull jeans out of their closets and drawers and put on real shoes, maybe you could jump on the bandwagon? You've jumped on every other bandwagon. The one where you wear a skinny head band with a pony tail, the one where you drink so much Natural Light you now have a gut, the one where you smoke Marlboro Lights Only When You're Drinking. So on, so forth. Get dressed in the fucking morning, aight?
And gentlemen, Oh gentlemen. Take off the ball caps. Muss up your hair in the morning because we girls do find the morning after you fuck someone doggie style look attractive. Please take off the Target Mossimo t-shirt, put something a bit more simple on and show off any muscle definition you might have. No saggy jeans and god damnit, no fucking flip flops. Your gender has the worst feet in the damn world and lord, nobody wants to see em. No necklaces either. Leave the jewelry to the ladies. Foreign dudes? Stop the ghetto flave and wear something slightly ethnic with accents from Express or something.
Fuck me. The world is so ugly. Why can't humans just keep up with trends, keep up with hair and nails and the perfect scruffy beard? And oh, I swear to god, if one more girl passes me in an outfit that came entirely from the Kohls Department Store I might die. There are cheap places to shop and keep some style. I'll take you, we'll make it a girls day and do lunch.
This is detrimental to the already terrifically terrible mindset I'm in.
I have general mindset of wanting to die. Getting hit by a car (and actually dying, not just being mangled) sounds mildly appealing. Getting jumped on campus and having something horrific happen to me also sounds appealing. Suicidal PMS. Grand fun. A Blast. Pass me a beer guys, the jumps gonna hurt a little.
(At least my sense of humor is intact, no?)
Girls wear fucking sweat pants as though it were hip couture and it's driving me bonkers. Ladies! Wear something flattering and goddamnit, only the guy you slept with last night thinks you're mildly attractive the morning after he fucked you doggie style. That's it. In class you look like a slob that can't be bothered with personal hygiene or any sort of style. Did you really take a shower and put your Pj's BACK ON? If everyone else in the world bothered to pull jeans out of their closets and drawers and put on real shoes, maybe you could jump on the bandwagon? You've jumped on every other bandwagon. The one where you wear a skinny head band with a pony tail, the one where you drink so much Natural Light you now have a gut, the one where you smoke Marlboro Lights Only When You're Drinking. So on, so forth. Get dressed in the fucking morning, aight?
And gentlemen, Oh gentlemen. Take off the ball caps. Muss up your hair in the morning because we girls do find the morning after you fuck someone doggie style look attractive. Please take off the Target Mossimo t-shirt, put something a bit more simple on and show off any muscle definition you might have. No saggy jeans and god damnit, no fucking flip flops. Your gender has the worst feet in the damn world and lord, nobody wants to see em. No necklaces either. Leave the jewelry to the ladies. Foreign dudes? Stop the ghetto flave and wear something slightly ethnic with accents from Express or something.
Fuck me. The world is so ugly. Why can't humans just keep up with trends, keep up with hair and nails and the perfect scruffy beard? And oh, I swear to god, if one more girl passes me in an outfit that came entirely from the Kohls Department Store I might die. There are cheap places to shop and keep some style. I'll take you, we'll make it a girls day and do lunch.
This is detrimental to the already terrifically terrible mindset I'm in.
I have general mindset of wanting to die. Getting hit by a car (and actually dying, not just being mangled) sounds mildly appealing. Getting jumped on campus and having something horrific happen to me also sounds appealing. Suicidal PMS. Grand fun. A Blast. Pass me a beer guys, the jumps gonna hurt a little.
(At least my sense of humor is intact, no?)