"A 1-Year Survivor Party?" or "Too Much Sitting Around?"
I've been kind of sick since Tuesday, thinking that I had another cold or bronchitis. I keep catching every little bug that goes around. It's amazing how during 5 months of chemo, when my white blood cell counts were down, I never caught anything - not once. Since I've been done with chemo, I have been sick three or four times and had a random toe infection.
Friday I went to the doctor because I was feeling really bad. As it turns out, I was running a fever and had 4 or 5 swollen lymph nodes* on each side of my neck, and my lungs sounded like crap. They took blood cultures, hooked me up to an IV bag of antibiotics, and sent me for a chest x-ray because I had fluid in my lungs. They were supposed to call me if the chest x-ray results were too alarming, and I haven't heard from them, so I assume no news is good news. Meanwhile I'm on another 7-day run of antibiotics, which, including the ones I took for my recon surgery makes, what? Four? Five courses of them in the past four months? I don't even remember.
And I really need to feel better by next weekend because Dan has made some mystery plans for our anniversary! He won't tell me what they are! It drives me crazy, but I love it. I'm excited. That's right, it's almost been a year since we tied the knot. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's been a year already, but most of the time I feel like I've lived (and aged) 10 years in the past year.
And closely following the approach of our anniversary will be another anniversary. On April 12, 2007, I got my diagnosis. I was sitting in bed, in the very same spot I'm sitting in right now, when my surgeon's nurse called with the results of my biopsy. It wasn't really a shock - Dr. Stewart had already told us he was sure it was malignant based on all the other scans. He even said if it came back benign, he would order it again because he wouldn't believe it. But we decided not to tell everyone until we had the biopsy results. So on that day, almost a year ago, we got the answer, and that night, we called everyone and rallied the troops.
The troops (that's you) rallied amazingly. More than I ever would have imagined. I had to go through a lot of tough shit to get rid of the cancer and to stay alive. I did it with your help & love - I don't even wanna think what it would have been like without you all behind me. And now, even though I'm still technically in treatment**, I feel like I've won the fight. And may there never be a round two!
So I've been wondering how to commemorate my cancerversary. I was thinking of rallying the troops once again for a 1-Year Survivor Party. I realize it may seem strange to have a party commemorating the day you found out you have cancer (that's the editorial 'you,' meaning 'me') but I think of it more like the first one of many many many years I will be a survivor. Personally, I'm hoping it will be at least three times as long as the years I lived before I was a survivor.
The thing about this party plan is that April 12 falls on Thunder Over Louisville day. So since I've been laying around in bed convalescing all day, my imagination has run away with me, and now I'm thinking of having a post-Thunder Survivor party someplace downtown - maybe the BBC at theater square, because they are pretty laid-back about people having parties there - and maybe even getting a few folks to come play music, and putting up some decorations, and putting out a donation jar for the Young Survivors Group. People who went to Thunder can just walk up to the BBC from the river. As for people who didn't go to Thunder... I don't know. I've never tried to get into downtown after Thunder. I know almost everyone is trying to get out of downtown.
So I turn to you for advice. Should I attempt this on Saturday, my actual cancerversary, or should I do it Friday?
Yep, that's right. All this caterwauling you've just read just boils down to me trying to decide whether to throw a party on a Friday or a Saturday.
Maybe I should just do it Friday. But no one has anything to do after Thunder anyway. But everyone who went is tired, and everyone in Indiana can't get over the bridge.
You know what? Leave me a comment with your opinion, and I'll decide, and then I'll talk to the BBC (or wherever, if it's Friday) and put up a snazzy invitation here and by email.
_____________________________________________
* nothing makes a cancer patient experience a split second of irrational but intense panic more than someone telling them their lymph nodes are abnormal in some way.
** for those who have lost track, I'll be on Herceptin (which is an IV infusion I get at the oncologist's office) very three weeks until July, and Tamoxifen (which is a daily pill) until 2012. 2012?!?!?!??! Doesn't that seem like far in the future, when we'll have hover-cars?
Friday I went to the doctor because I was feeling really bad. As it turns out, I was running a fever and had 4 or 5 swollen lymph nodes* on each side of my neck, and my lungs sounded like crap. They took blood cultures, hooked me up to an IV bag of antibiotics, and sent me for a chest x-ray because I had fluid in my lungs. They were supposed to call me if the chest x-ray results were too alarming, and I haven't heard from them, so I assume no news is good news. Meanwhile I'm on another 7-day run of antibiotics, which, including the ones I took for my recon surgery makes, what? Four? Five courses of them in the past four months? I don't even remember.
And I really need to feel better by next weekend because Dan has made some mystery plans for our anniversary! He won't tell me what they are! It drives me crazy, but I love it. I'm excited. That's right, it's almost been a year since we tied the knot. Sometimes it's hard to believe it's been a year already, but most of the time I feel like I've lived (and aged) 10 years in the past year.
And closely following the approach of our anniversary will be another anniversary. On April 12, 2007, I got my diagnosis. I was sitting in bed, in the very same spot I'm sitting in right now, when my surgeon's nurse called with the results of my biopsy. It wasn't really a shock - Dr. Stewart had already told us he was sure it was malignant based on all the other scans. He even said if it came back benign, he would order it again because he wouldn't believe it. But we decided not to tell everyone until we had the biopsy results. So on that day, almost a year ago, we got the answer, and that night, we called everyone and rallied the troops.
The troops (that's you) rallied amazingly. More than I ever would have imagined. I had to go through a lot of tough shit to get rid of the cancer and to stay alive. I did it with your help & love - I don't even wanna think what it would have been like without you all behind me. And now, even though I'm still technically in treatment**, I feel like I've won the fight. And may there never be a round two!
So I've been wondering how to commemorate my cancerversary. I was thinking of rallying the troops once again for a 1-Year Survivor Party. I realize it may seem strange to have a party commemorating the day you found out you have cancer (that's the editorial 'you,' meaning 'me') but I think of it more like the first one of many many many years I will be a survivor. Personally, I'm hoping it will be at least three times as long as the years I lived before I was a survivor.
The thing about this party plan is that April 12 falls on Thunder Over Louisville day. So since I've been laying around in bed convalescing all day, my imagination has run away with me, and now I'm thinking of having a post-Thunder Survivor party someplace downtown - maybe the BBC at theater square, because they are pretty laid-back about people having parties there - and maybe even getting a few folks to come play music, and putting up some decorations, and putting out a donation jar for the Young Survivors Group. People who went to Thunder can just walk up to the BBC from the river. As for people who didn't go to Thunder... I don't know. I've never tried to get into downtown after Thunder. I know almost everyone is trying to get out of downtown.
So I turn to you for advice. Should I attempt this on Saturday, my actual cancerversary, or should I do it Friday?
Yep, that's right. All this caterwauling you've just read just boils down to me trying to decide whether to throw a party on a Friday or a Saturday.
Maybe I should just do it Friday. But no one has anything to do after Thunder anyway. But everyone who went is tired, and everyone in Indiana can't get over the bridge.
You know what? Leave me a comment with your opinion, and I'll decide, and then I'll talk to the BBC (or wherever, if it's Friday) and put up a snazzy invitation here and by email.
_____________________________________________
* nothing makes a cancer patient experience a split second of irrational but intense panic more than someone telling them their lymph nodes are abnormal in some way.
** for those who have lost track, I'll be on Herceptin (which is an IV infusion I get at the oncologist's office) very three weeks until July, and Tamoxifen (which is a daily pill) until 2012. 2012?!?!?!??! Doesn't that seem like far in the future, when we'll have hover-cars?