letters

[fullygroan]

writing secret letters to melanie that only jennifer can read,
i think.

watching sad songs that don't sound it.
iggy pop, live and ignored, so hot tonight,
and melanie is the first name to mind,
and face, not the most worth a damn in mind
but the first worth damning, the first
worth the damned, just the first on the list.

if i knew why i'd adjust it,
but rewards and pain,
so far all she's done was play, with me,
and sometimes cruel and sometimes gone,
i was never balancing love against anything on her side,
not anymore than my love is hard to find.

i don't care to fuck with filters anymore,
if this hurts to read, read it twice.

that's the pain of evolution, and maybe the way i share,
maybe the way this was written,
maybe the words. maybe this is a band -aid, and i know
i can't unscore those eternal points

but i learned.
"good game"
"well played"

i think i have a new nickname.
sux4me!

the point of this, do i love everyone like i keep trying
or do i keep letting these pedestal bitches fuck it up for everyone?