Help, I have done it again. I have been here many times before...
I just came back from my third funeral for the fourth person I've known do die of cancer and fifth person to change my life forever. To tell the truth, I broke down just the other night. I felt so pissed off at the world and then it suddenly just felt like everything fell apart. I was listening to this exact song. I cried so hard I shook. But I needed it. It was like a foreshadowing of the next morning when we got the actual news that Jerry had passed.
For those who care, Jerry was the husband of Lynn, my mom's best friend. He was so nice and giving and told great stories. His granddaughter, Morgan, had only just recently passed away due to cancer as well. She was like a living angel. They weren't the only ones. There was a woman who used to work for the daycare center that I used to go to when I was little. Miss Olga, as I always called her, had breast cancer four times. She was so full of life and loved children as if they were her own. And then there's Danny. God, that boy was amazing. He too, was full of life and love, and a beautiful singing voice to boot. When he got sick and left, our choir never sounded the same. And it never will.
And although he didn't die from cancer, Nick will be missed as well. I didn't even know him that well, but when he died from that damn car accident, it hit me. Life is short. You never know when it could end.
All of this has made me lose my faith in God a little bit at a time. It's not that I don't believe, it's just hard to do so. For those of you who know me, reading this will show you a very different side if me. But this is the me right now. The way I am around my friends isn't exactly an act either, because "I just want to feel good and happy and alive. Because if I feel alive, then it doesn't seem like they're dead."
For those who care, Jerry was the husband of Lynn, my mom's best friend. He was so nice and giving and told great stories. His granddaughter, Morgan, had only just recently passed away due to cancer as well. She was like a living angel. They weren't the only ones. There was a woman who used to work for the daycare center that I used to go to when I was little. Miss Olga, as I always called her, had breast cancer four times. She was so full of life and loved children as if they were her own. And then there's Danny. God, that boy was amazing. He too, was full of life and love, and a beautiful singing voice to boot. When he got sick and left, our choir never sounded the same. And it never will.
And although he didn't die from cancer, Nick will be missed as well. I didn't even know him that well, but when he died from that damn car accident, it hit me. Life is short. You never know when it could end.
All of this has made me lose my faith in God a little bit at a time. It's not that I don't believe, it's just hard to do so. For those of you who know me, reading this will show you a very different side if me. But this is the me right now. The way I am around my friends isn't exactly an act either, because "I just want to feel good and happy and alive. Because if I feel alive, then it doesn't seem like they're dead."