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[fullspeedbaby]

i'm still not used to this not having a boyfriend thing. the last time i had no boyfriend i was 18. i'm not saying i want one, necessarily. All's I'm saying is that i feel a little without, and i'm practicing the grown up art of a.) filling the void with heaping helpings of impressive work, and b.) moderate helpings of coffee. Every now and then i

Comments

[scalarparty]

sometimes you gotta go solo, babe, its just like that. and just like every good habit-- its not as easy to get into as the bad habits.... but yeah sometimes its a heckuva lot easier to focus within to set & get your goals and all the rest without a co-pilot mayeb i'm just thinking from my own experiences but what i've seen is this a) monogamy may be wonky but polyamory requires really strong people with open harts. not always what you see when you scratch the suyrface (and polyamory scratches A LOT of surfaces...) also, personally it's been 2 years since my GF ran away and joined the circus and smashed my heart into more tiny pieces than i thought imaginable) and i was starting to rebound and had to tell the lovely woman that I couldnt go back on the merry-go-roun (worked for both of us, she went on to work at Tree of Life) for me i got to move, change everything, peel it all to the core, and figure out what i actually am doing(?) ever since then it's been getting better and better, the stuff ive been doing has had more effect, and much better definition, and its something i could have never done if i was at all concerned with anyone by my self. so be self-ish. fill yourself up with whatever you want, even if its stinky coffee and cigarettes, and get to the core of the matter (which is really energy and not matter anyway).

Maybe its not so bad to spend the time now instead of loving anyone else (well ok aside from US, but instead of loving any ONE else) just love yourself. Ask anyone here, you are very loveable. So pour it on! Regale & rejoice in the greatness of you. And you'll see.... magic will start a-flowin' before you know it!

i'm rootin for ya!

[scalarparty]

thanks hun. i think the magic might have just started to pour already. i can tell tommorow is going to be a big deal for me. i'm getting that "something's about to happen" vibe. it's fun. this selfish thing might work out. :)