It has been so quiet.. nothing is going on and nothing is changing
I don't know why i expect people to hang on to me when i get like this... Because it never works that way. How can i be # 1 in anything when i feel like i'm #973243.. or worse off.. #2? And that feeling has been going on now for about a month.. and i'm just tired of feeling it. I have so much on my plate right now.. emotional wise.. it just seems like when you genuinely love someone.. u can't choose to not care. Because no matter what you tell your head, your heart feels it to the max. It just won't go away.. whether i choose to let him in or not.. its there either way. It just makes me want to collapse and fucking drown in my own tears. And its hard, because it's the person i need to burry my head into so i can cry. And i guess that's not available like it use to be. and if it is.. i don't feel comfortable with it anymore. There is just so much change going on voluntary and unvoluntary.
I can't think anymore..