Can't Call It Pride [oneshot]
Title: Can't Call It Pride
Pairing: Jongyu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: au, smut, angst, lions
Summary: Being only half shifter, Jonghyun can't change into his animal form, so doesn't pose a threat to the head alpha of the pride like Jinki does. But unlike Jinki, Jonghyun can't leave to go with him, as much as he wants to. It would just end up tearing them both apart more than they already were.
Can't Call It Pride
He stared at himself blandly in the mirror. How long had it been since his last haircut? Color? His roots were showing to the extreme, not like he cared. Jinki wasn't here anymore so there was no one to look good for, to make him actually care how he looked in front of others. His vanity was slipping away along with his sanity. He didn't even bother to put in his contacts to cover his silver eyes when he went shopping anymore, just ignored all the odd stares. His eyes were the only external thing his father had given him, but if he could actually shift, he'd be a white lion, just like his father. His sick, twisted, rapist father. After he had kidnapped his mother, impregnated her, and watched her give birth without so much as lifting a paw to help, he quickly snapped her neck after Jonghyun had been born, a male heir being all he had wanted out of the deal.
His father was a rogue, had been kicked out of his pride at a young age, as was common among male lions. Just like on the nature channel, there was never more than one alpha male in a pride. Shifters were slightly different though. If there were omegas, betas or rare cases like he was, they were allowed to stay in the pride they grew up in, but alphas were always kicked out to start one of their own when they were old enough. His father never had, choosing instead to rape countless women to produce his own personal shifter army. That didn't work out too well for him. Shortly after Jonghyun had been born, the fourth child overall, but the only male, the others having been killed at birth along with the mothers, his now adoptive father had found out about his biological's plans and 'met out justice'. There were no trials in the wild, just swift death. It was what he deserved.
After killing his father, the other lion had gladly taken Jonghyun under his wing, full well knowing he'd never change like the other children. White lion shifters were genetic mutations, only being able to produce shifters with an omega of the same cloth, but his father had been too stupid to realize that, apparently. But there were no falsehoods with the man who would care for him, he told him as soon as he could understand words that he would never be able to change like the other children. He still had the lion's senses, eyes, stealth, power, but never the actual change, and he would never be able to... mate.
The mating bond didn't work with changelings that couldn't do just that, change. Which was why the day Jinki left, he never told him he loved him. Call it pride, but he wouldn't, couldn't, drag Jinki down with him, then have to watch him eventually mate with another. Alphas had to mate to ensure control over their pride, after all, and that would kill Jonghyun. No, he'd stay with the only family he had ever known... even if Jinki wasn't a part of it anymore.
But still.... he looked down at his phone once again. Nothing. He'd hoped that.... it didn't matter. It was best to cut all ties with the other male, even if they had grown up together. Jinki had always been there to protect him, even though he could fight fine on his own, the older boy always laughing it off when he'd get mad about it, saying: it's fine, this is what you do for your mate. Jonghyun's heart ached at the memory and he unthinkingly grasped at his chest, not that it mattered, the shirt was wrinkled as hell.
Jinki had been so sure they would be mated when they were fully grown, but Jinki had never truly understood until it was too late for both of them that it would never happen, that Jonghyun was less of a lion than he would ever be. That Jinki would be expected to be alpha of his own pride with a partner at his side that could hear his every thought through the bond they shared together. No, they would never have that, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other. It was there in every word, look, action, and Jonghyun would never regret that.
That was when his senses went on high alert, his nostrils flaring as he took in that spicy, heady scent that was Lee Jinki. What was he doing here, and after five months no less? Slipping out of his room, he stalked him like the wildcat he was, eyeing him suspiciously as he made his way to their father's part of the house. Had he not mentioned they'd been raised under the same roof? What had started as 'brotherly' affection had quickly escalated to something much deeper, darker, but their father had never said a word, letting them learn on their own why they couldn't be together. That was the shifter way. Learn by fire.
Jinki knocked, then turned towards him before entering, the smile forever plastered on his face, though it was more forlorn than usual. Did he feel guilty for not trying to keep in touch with him all these months? He should. Jinki mouthed, give me a minute, before walking into their father's room. Jonghyun sat back on his haunches on the cold limestone floor, closing his eyes and concentrating on the room across from him. He really should know better by now. All the rooms of the house were sound proofed, a necessity when so many shifters lived together.
After what seemed like hours, but was most likely no more than twenty minutes, Jinki was stepping out of their father's room, the older lion embracing him tightly before letting him come over to see Jonghyun.
"Do you want to talk inside or outside?" Jinki asked, his hand coming out to offer him a boost up. Jonghyun refused it like the child he was.
"Out. It's not too hot out today." Jinki nodded, watching his every move as he gracefully stood up and stalked out of the house, both pairs of feet silent as they padded along the ground barefoot. Turning once they were far enough away for the others not to eavesdrop, he growled. "What is it?"
"I've found my mate."
Jinki was always one to get straight to the point, blunt as he was, but it didn't make the news any easier. "Who?" Jonghyun whispered.
"You don't know her."
"You don't know that, I know a lot of people. It's not like I'm only ever-" but Jinki was placing his hand over Jonghyun's forever expelling mouth, his eyes sad as he shook his head. It was best not to know. Jonghyun ripped his lover's, ex-lover's, hand off of his mouth. "Why? I thought you said it was me, that it would only ever be me!"
The taller boy was shaking his head once again, his long sandy hair going back to lay perfectly in place after each turn. "I can't control my beast any more than you can."
"Well that's where you're wrong, I don't have a problem at all controlling him, because he can't come out. I'm in charge of my life, Jinki, are you?"
"No, but then, I never was."
"Why can't you just... love me..." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Damn his trap for never shutting. A hand lifting his chin up to look eye to eye, yellow to silver.
"I do, but it's not fair to either of us to continue this. This is the exact reason you couldn't come with me when I left." And didn't he know it, but it still hurt just as bad, if not worse, because as painful as it was just knowing he was now mated, it hurt more so because Jonghyun wasn't the first that Jinki had told. "Coming back to tell father was just an excuse, I came back to say goodbye, Jjong."
"Well you've said it. Anything else?" But instead of words, Jinki's lips brushed his, the shifter way of showing affection or comfort without it being sexual, but it would always be sexual between them. Jumping onto Jinki, they let their cats control how they landed onto the dirt floor, the tall grass around them concealing them from view. Their kisses were bruising, all teeth and tongue, but it was what they both craved, both needed. Jonghyun was ripping their clothes off, not even thinking or caring that Jinki didn't have extras lying around the house anymore.
He pushed back, searching Jinki's eyes. He didn't want to be a pity fuck, but the older boy was growling and pulling him back down, tumbling them over until he was on top, his cock fully aroused and pressing against Jonghyun's hip. "I don't want to do this to you," he yowled, his forehead breaking out in a sheen of sweat at trying to control the caged lion within him.
"I don't care what you want," Jonghyun growled back, lifting his hips so that his ass was now sliding against Jinki's cock.
"It'll be rough at first, painful."
"It always is at first with you, can't help it with your size. I feel bad for the bitch you're mated to."
"Don't bring her up, it's just you," he snarled, thrusting his cock deep inside of the boy beneath him after lubing himself up with his own saliva. "And me."
Their cries were loud, but others would simply ignore them, giving them their privacy. If they wanted to play with fire one last time, that was their own fucking business. Twining his fingers into Jinki's long hair, he met each thrust wantonly, losing himself in the dance. Jinki always lost it when they fucked, his thrusts too deep, his hands too rough, his beast too strong to control, but Jonghyun liked it that way. Couldn't imagine it any other.
They rolled over once again, Jonghyun straddling Jinki now, wanting his last memory of them together to be him looking down on Jinki, his body creamy against the dried grass, his expression hauntingly beautiful as they both came undone. A sight he would cherish for the rest of his hopefully short life, because a life without Jinki in his arms wasn't worth living.
"Do you want me to walk you back home?" Jinki whispered, his chin resting on Jonghyun's head as he lazily ran his strong hands over his abs, the two of them entwined together like a woven pattern.
"No, I'm fine..."
They both got up, slowly, detangling, as if never wanting to leave the tall grass, and truthfully, neither of them did, both boys trying to ignore the fact that this would more than likely be their last time together. Jinki looked down at Jonghyun, offering his hand yet again, but Jonghyun was the one to shake his head this time. The older boy's shoulders dropped, but he smiled his brightest smile before waving and walking away. The shaking shoulders were the only thing to give away his grief.
Jonghyun was trying to hold back tears of his own, but eventually gave up, the liquid flowing as if a dam had burst in his heart. Jinki had offered to walk him home, but didn't he know... he couldn't call this pride a home without Jinki in it...
A/N: WAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! This was a prompt by Miawee7. She wrote this magic here for me, so I had to return the favor. Damn you for wanting angst! And making me write smut Jongyu! I could have handled it... if only they had gotten together in the end... but nooooo... To you readers, I don't normally write Jongyu, though if you're regulars you know this xD so I'm sorry if you want to see more main pairing jongyu from me. I don't know if my heart can take more... My poor onho loving heart... and Minho wasn't even in this, and not a Joon to be seen. You're welcome, Seungho. I hate/love you for this T.T Also sorry dear, I can't do angst and then hot steamy angry long bout of sex scene at the same time. So that's as much smut as I felt this story could handle without getting disjointed. That's what you get for your damn angst obsession! Hmph! Ignore the half assed proof reading, I sorry..
Lanna
FMS
hit counter
Pairing: Jongyu
Rating: NC-17
Genre: au, smut, angst, lions
Summary: Being only half shifter, Jonghyun can't change into his animal form, so doesn't pose a threat to the head alpha of the pride like Jinki does. But unlike Jinki, Jonghyun can't leave to go with him, as much as he wants to. It would just end up tearing them both apart more than they already were.
Can't Call It Pride
He stared at himself blandly in the mirror. How long had it been since his last haircut? Color? His roots were showing to the extreme, not like he cared. Jinki wasn't here anymore so there was no one to look good for, to make him actually care how he looked in front of others. His vanity was slipping away along with his sanity. He didn't even bother to put in his contacts to cover his silver eyes when he went shopping anymore, just ignored all the odd stares. His eyes were the only external thing his father had given him, but if he could actually shift, he'd be a white lion, just like his father. His sick, twisted, rapist father. After he had kidnapped his mother, impregnated her, and watched her give birth without so much as lifting a paw to help, he quickly snapped her neck after Jonghyun had been born, a male heir being all he had wanted out of the deal.
His father was a rogue, had been kicked out of his pride at a young age, as was common among male lions. Just like on the nature channel, there was never more than one alpha male in a pride. Shifters were slightly different though. If there were omegas, betas or rare cases like he was, they were allowed to stay in the pride they grew up in, but alphas were always kicked out to start one of their own when they were old enough. His father never had, choosing instead to rape countless women to produce his own personal shifter army. That didn't work out too well for him. Shortly after Jonghyun had been born, the fourth child overall, but the only male, the others having been killed at birth along with the mothers, his now adoptive father had found out about his biological's plans and 'met out justice'. There were no trials in the wild, just swift death. It was what he deserved.
After killing his father, the other lion had gladly taken Jonghyun under his wing, full well knowing he'd never change like the other children. White lion shifters were genetic mutations, only being able to produce shifters with an omega of the same cloth, but his father had been too stupid to realize that, apparently. But there were no falsehoods with the man who would care for him, he told him as soon as he could understand words that he would never be able to change like the other children. He still had the lion's senses, eyes, stealth, power, but never the actual change, and he would never be able to... mate.
The mating bond didn't work with changelings that couldn't do just that, change. Which was why the day Jinki left, he never told him he loved him. Call it pride, but he wouldn't, couldn't, drag Jinki down with him, then have to watch him eventually mate with another. Alphas had to mate to ensure control over their pride, after all, and that would kill Jonghyun. No, he'd stay with the only family he had ever known... even if Jinki wasn't a part of it anymore.
But still.... he looked down at his phone once again. Nothing. He'd hoped that.... it didn't matter. It was best to cut all ties with the other male, even if they had grown up together. Jinki had always been there to protect him, even though he could fight fine on his own, the older boy always laughing it off when he'd get mad about it, saying: it's fine, this is what you do for your mate. Jonghyun's heart ached at the memory and he unthinkingly grasped at his chest, not that it mattered, the shirt was wrinkled as hell.
Jinki had been so sure they would be mated when they were fully grown, but Jinki had never truly understood until it was too late for both of them that it would never happen, that Jonghyun was less of a lion than he would ever be. That Jinki would be expected to be alpha of his own pride with a partner at his side that could hear his every thought through the bond they shared together. No, they would never have that, but that didn't mean they didn't love each other. It was there in every word, look, action, and Jonghyun would never regret that.
That was when his senses went on high alert, his nostrils flaring as he took in that spicy, heady scent that was Lee Jinki. What was he doing here, and after five months no less? Slipping out of his room, he stalked him like the wildcat he was, eyeing him suspiciously as he made his way to their father's part of the house. Had he not mentioned they'd been raised under the same roof? What had started as 'brotherly' affection had quickly escalated to something much deeper, darker, but their father had never said a word, letting them learn on their own why they couldn't be together. That was the shifter way. Learn by fire.
Jinki knocked, then turned towards him before entering, the smile forever plastered on his face, though it was more forlorn than usual. Did he feel guilty for not trying to keep in touch with him all these months? He should. Jinki mouthed, give me a minute, before walking into their father's room. Jonghyun sat back on his haunches on the cold limestone floor, closing his eyes and concentrating on the room across from him. He really should know better by now. All the rooms of the house were sound proofed, a necessity when so many shifters lived together.
After what seemed like hours, but was most likely no more than twenty minutes, Jinki was stepping out of their father's room, the older lion embracing him tightly before letting him come over to see Jonghyun.
"Do you want to talk inside or outside?" Jinki asked, his hand coming out to offer him a boost up. Jonghyun refused it like the child he was.
"Out. It's not too hot out today." Jinki nodded, watching his every move as he gracefully stood up and stalked out of the house, both pairs of feet silent as they padded along the ground barefoot. Turning once they were far enough away for the others not to eavesdrop, he growled. "What is it?"
"I've found my mate."
Jinki was always one to get straight to the point, blunt as he was, but it didn't make the news any easier. "Who?" Jonghyun whispered.
"You don't know her."
"You don't know that, I know a lot of people. It's not like I'm only ever-" but Jinki was placing his hand over Jonghyun's forever expelling mouth, his eyes sad as he shook his head. It was best not to know. Jonghyun ripped his lover's, ex-lover's, hand off of his mouth. "Why? I thought you said it was me, that it would only ever be me!"
The taller boy was shaking his head once again, his long sandy hair going back to lay perfectly in place after each turn. "I can't control my beast any more than you can."
"Well that's where you're wrong, I don't have a problem at all controlling him, because he can't come out. I'm in charge of my life, Jinki, are you?"
"No, but then, I never was."
"Why can't you just... love me..." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. Damn his trap for never shutting. A hand lifting his chin up to look eye to eye, yellow to silver.
"I do, but it's not fair to either of us to continue this. This is the exact reason you couldn't come with me when I left." And didn't he know it, but it still hurt just as bad, if not worse, because as painful as it was just knowing he was now mated, it hurt more so because Jonghyun wasn't the first that Jinki had told. "Coming back to tell father was just an excuse, I came back to say goodbye, Jjong."
"Well you've said it. Anything else?" But instead of words, Jinki's lips brushed his, the shifter way of showing affection or comfort without it being sexual, but it would always be sexual between them. Jumping onto Jinki, they let their cats control how they landed onto the dirt floor, the tall grass around them concealing them from view. Their kisses were bruising, all teeth and tongue, but it was what they both craved, both needed. Jonghyun was ripping their clothes off, not even thinking or caring that Jinki didn't have extras lying around the house anymore.
He pushed back, searching Jinki's eyes. He didn't want to be a pity fuck, but the older boy was growling and pulling him back down, tumbling them over until he was on top, his cock fully aroused and pressing against Jonghyun's hip. "I don't want to do this to you," he yowled, his forehead breaking out in a sheen of sweat at trying to control the caged lion within him.
"I don't care what you want," Jonghyun growled back, lifting his hips so that his ass was now sliding against Jinki's cock.
"It'll be rough at first, painful."
"It always is at first with you, can't help it with your size. I feel bad for the bitch you're mated to."
"Don't bring her up, it's just you," he snarled, thrusting his cock deep inside of the boy beneath him after lubing himself up with his own saliva. "And me."
Their cries were loud, but others would simply ignore them, giving them their privacy. If they wanted to play with fire one last time, that was their own fucking business. Twining his fingers into Jinki's long hair, he met each thrust wantonly, losing himself in the dance. Jinki always lost it when they fucked, his thrusts too deep, his hands too rough, his beast too strong to control, but Jonghyun liked it that way. Couldn't imagine it any other.
They rolled over once again, Jonghyun straddling Jinki now, wanting his last memory of them together to be him looking down on Jinki, his body creamy against the dried grass, his expression hauntingly beautiful as they both came undone. A sight he would cherish for the rest of his hopefully short life, because a life without Jinki in his arms wasn't worth living.
"Do you want me to walk you back home?" Jinki whispered, his chin resting on Jonghyun's head as he lazily ran his strong hands over his abs, the two of them entwined together like a woven pattern.
"No, I'm fine..."
They both got up, slowly, detangling, as if never wanting to leave the tall grass, and truthfully, neither of them did, both boys trying to ignore the fact that this would more than likely be their last time together. Jinki looked down at Jonghyun, offering his hand yet again, but Jonghyun was the one to shake his head this time. The older boy's shoulders dropped, but he smiled his brightest smile before waving and walking away. The shaking shoulders were the only thing to give away his grief.
Jonghyun was trying to hold back tears of his own, but eventually gave up, the liquid flowing as if a dam had burst in his heart. Jinki had offered to walk him home, but didn't he know... he couldn't call this pride a home without Jinki in it...
A/N: WAAAAAAAEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! This was a prompt by Miawee7. She wrote this magic here for me, so I had to return the favor. Damn you for wanting angst! And making me write smut Jongyu! I could have handled it... if only they had gotten together in the end... but nooooo... To you readers, I don't normally write Jongyu, though if you're regulars you know this xD so I'm sorry if you want to see more main pairing jongyu from me. I don't know if my heart can take more... My poor onho loving heart... and Minho wasn't even in this, and not a Joon to be seen. You're welcome, Seungho. I hate/love you for this T.T Also sorry dear, I can't do angst and then hot steamy angry long bout of sex scene at the same time. So that's as much smut as I felt this story could handle without getting disjointed. That's what you get for your damn angst obsession! Hmph! Ignore the half assed proof reading, I sorry..
Lanna
FMS
hit counter