FIC: Heaven Can Wait
Title: Heaven Can Wait
Author: Lee West (westwardlee)
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks, ?/Tonks
Rating: R
Prompt: Extra Round Prompt 4: R/S meet in the afterlife
Summary: Heaven is the place where you are at your happiest.
Word Count: ~3,500
Warning: Character deaths, canon and non.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Many thanks to my betas, onehundredmoons and lyras.
***
People say that you see your life flashing in front of your eyes right at the moment of death, but later on Remus admitted he didn't remember any of that. He saw Tonks falling and, in that split second, he lowered his guard. Then he saw nothing else.
Until, suddenly, there was a light, which was perceptible even through his closed eyes. Strange that - Hogwarts, in the frenzy of battle, was anything but bright. He opened his eyes carefully, like someone who suddenly wakes up in the middle of a summer morning, bracing himself for the sting of the sudden brightness. But it was a benign light, similar to late dawn. Surprised, he opened his eyes wide and, still lying on his back, took a look out of the corner of his eyes.
He was lying on a grassy expanse. Definitely not anything like the Hogwarts grounds. Tentatively he sat up, blinking, and then saw, not far from him, the prone figure of his wife. Dead. Killed by her aunt. He felt a pang in his heart to see her lying there. She had been so young, so full of life. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling horrible about a lot of things: her life cut so short, his son who would grow up without a mother, and, most of all, for not giving her the happiness she had deserved. Their marriage had been a strange affair, to say the least. She had been in love with him, apparently since she first saw him at an Order meeting. He had been caught in a web of self-pity about his condition and poverty, feeling an almost unbearable longing for Sirius and depressed beyond belief over being in Greyback's company. Weakened by it all, he'd accepted her tenderness as a lifeline, but, realizing later that she had fallen for him, he had broken it off. He didn't love her - he could never love her the way she deserved - and he didn't want to lead her on more than he foolishly had already.
It was Dumbledore's death that had made him reconsider their relationship. The old Headmaster, whom Sirius had long suspected was gay, too, had lived a long life and had died alone. That was the fate that awaited Remus. The tenderness he was witnessing in the hospital ward between Fleur and Bill was not to be for him. Now that Sirius was dead and gone forever, nobody would stand by Remus's sick bed side when his turn came.
Tonks's open declaration of love and the joint goading of McGonagall and Molly Weasley had broken through his barriers. His selfish side won the battle: he didn't love Tonks, but he needed someone who loved him so thoroughly.
Rubbing his eyes with shame, he thought about the horrible day he'd tried to leave Tonks and the yet unborn Teddy behind. It had been too overwhelming, learning that he was going to be a father, a mixture of elation and fear that he hadn't been able to handle. He'd been called to attention by Harry, gone back to her and his child and, when he saw the greatest gift he could ever receive, decided to thank Harry the best way he could, by naming him godfather to Teddy.
He adored his son more than anything else. And he was grateful to Tonks for loving him.
Sighing deeply, he rose from the ground and started walking toward Tonks. He now had a terrible mission, to take her body to Andromeda and, together, bury her. He walked slowly, thinking that it was probably his destiny to be a widower: twice now he'd lost his - what, spouse? Sirius had not been his legal spouse, of course, but he'd been, and remained, the love of his life. It had hurt him immensely to lose Sirius first to Azkaban and then lose him for good when he fell through the veil.
He was hurting now, too, albeit in a different way. Now it was deep regret and a sense of guilt for not having loved his wife as much. He approached her; she was lying with her face to one side, and Remus knelt down to pick her up. But, when he touched her, she opened her eyes.
"Remus?"
"Tonks! I...I thought you were dead."
She sat up. "Why would you think that?"
"Well...Bellatrix sent a Killing Curse your way and...and it hit you. You fell."
"The battle! What happened?" She looked around. "Where are we?"
"I don't know where we are and I have no idea what happened to the battle. We were there, side by side and suddenly, we're in this strange place."
She threw her arms around his neck. "At least we're together. Come on, let's find our way out of here. We need to get back to Teddy."
***
They walked hand in hand on the grass until it ended on a narrow path. They followed it for a while and finally saw a little hamlet at the end. It didn't look at all like the little village where they lived with Andromeda and Teddy, but they figured they could at least find out how far they were from home.
There was a sense of coziness to the place, although it seemed deserted. The little houses that bordered the main road leading to a square were shut and unlit. It was a curious place, but they walked on. Tonks commented briefly that one of the houses reminded her of her paternal grandparents', her father's childhood home, and Remus shivered a little as they passed a cottage that looked like James and Lily's at Godric's Hollow. A strange light was coming out of it, as if its inhabitants were sitting in the back room - which Remus remembered was the kitchen.
Then, at the end of the street, he came to a stop with a gasp. There it was, incongruous in the village of cottages and little houses, the townhouse he used to share with Sirius. A proper London townhouse - who had built such a thing in this place?
As if in answer to his question, the door of the townhouse opened, and out came Sirius, looking like his old twenty-year-old self. Tonks gasped and Sirius turned towards them.
"Remus!" he exclaimed happily. "I was waiting for you. The townhouse just appeared. I'm glad I can finally move out of Prongs and-"
Tonks had let go of Remus's hand and rushed to Sirius. "Sirius, what's going on? How can you be here? You are-"
Sirius's face was now open in a grin. "Dead," he said. "Just like you two." His eyes hadn't left Remus's face. His smile diminished a little and he asked with concern, "How did it happen? Was it quick?"
Remus was still speechless, his mind too confused to think coherently. That was probably a dream. Maybe he was actually in hospital wing and was hallucinating. How else would Sirius be there, looking as young and fit as he had been before that fatal Halloween night?
"Dead?" Tonks asked in a small voice, as if she was just accepting the hard reality. "We are dead?"
"Yes," Sirius answered gaily. "This is the place where you come after you die. There are, of course, different...heavens, for lack of a better name, all of them harmonious, in a sense. All of us in this specific place are related through family or friendship ties. So," he elbowed her playfully, "you won't see anyone from our nasty family tree here. Your dad's here - you may have recognized the old house where he lived as a child - and when your mum dies, then their house will be transported here, too, so they can live together forever. Here, you know, you're reunited with your true love." He winked at Remus, a gesture that thankfully went unnoticed by Tonks, but which made Remus pale.
The immensity of what was happening had just struck him: he was dead, and the townhouse he used to share with Sirius had appeared in this afterlife as soon as he'd fallen at Hogwarts, when its other owner was dead, too, and ready to resume the happy life he'd lived there with his true love.
That was heaven, after all, wasn't it? To be with Sirius for all eternity? Not having to worry about wars and being killed? Wasn't that what Remus had wanted since he had first fallen in love with Sirius, so many years before?
But what do you do with your other spouse? There was no heaven that could accommodate the three of them harmoniously. Remus knew that, as much as he knew that he wanted to spend his eternity with Sirius. But he couldn't hurt Tonks any more than he had already.
Most of all, it was obvious that Sirius didn't know about his marriage to Tonks. Apparently, in the afterlife, one didn't know what was going on in the living world. And he certainly had never told his wife that he was in love with someone else, someone who just happened to be male - and her cousin, too.
Sirius took a few steps in his direction and Remus knew, just by pure instinct, that he was about to be hugged and kissed by his former partner and in front of his wife. Forcing a reaction from his weary body, he took a small step backwards, and winced when he saw the quizzical look on Sirius's face. He knew he had to do something - maybe break the news that he was a married man and a father now, but he was saved by a cry coming from behind him. He turned around and saw Lily and James running in their direction.
"Sirius! We've got to go. Harry needs us now, in the Forest," Lily shouted, her long red hair flowing in the wind as she raced toward them. She looked good, just the way she'd been at Harry's first birthday, almost seventeen years ago. She saw him and ran faster.
"Remus! You've arrived. Come on, let's go. Harry needs all of us. Dumbledore will be waiting for him after it happens, but now he needs our support." She waved at Tonks, obviously not recognizing the young woman she'd last seen as a little girl. "We'll be right back," she said as an excuse.
"This is Tonks, Lily," Sirius said. "Andromeda's daughter."
Lily gave her a cursory look and smiled perfunctorily, as if not wanting to waste any time with pleasantries. "Tonks! Nice seeing you. Your father should be home, go see him. We'll fill you in as soon as we get back." With those words, she held her husband's hand and disappeared. Sirius waved at Remus, beckoning him to do the same. "Stay with Ted, Tonks," Sirius said. "We're going to help Harry."
The last thing Remus saw was Tonks's astonished face, before he was pulled from the hamlet and landed, in a sort of haze, in the Forbidden Forest.
***
They arrived back in the same grassy expanse and, although the mood was somber because of Harry, there was an excitement in Sirius that was catching. He was talkative and was walking very close to Remus, just like the old days. As they approached the hamlet, Sirius whispered in his ear, "Gorgeous as ever, Moony." Remus shivered and, to disguise his uneasiness, answered, "Gorgeous? All grey-haired and worn-out?"
Sirius laughed out loud and pulled Remus to a house window. "Look! You look like you are twenty again!"
It was true. There were no lines on his face and his hair was the same soft brown of his youth. He was also feeling lighter, sprier. He had also felt very happy in the Forest, as if the hardships he'd lived through the past seventeen years had never happened.
"Why is that? How did this happen?"
But Sirius never had time to answer, because Tonks, who apparently had been waiting for them, ran toward them and jumped around Remus's neck. "Remus! I'm so glad you're safe."
"He's dead, Tonks. He'll be safe forever now," Sirius laughed, casually flinging an arm around Remus's shoulder.
She stepped back and gasped. "What happened to you, Remus? You look...you look so young!"
Pulling Remus closer to him, Sirius answered, "He's looking like he did at the happiest time of his life. This is what happens here, Tonks."
She frowned and took Remus's hand. "I don't think so, Sirius. The happiest time of his life is now."
Sirius's fingers dug into Remus's shoulder. "Now? Why would he be at his happiest now?"
"I don't mean now, at this time. I mean that the happiest time of his life has been the past year."
"Why?" Sirius asked with a puzzled expression.
Tonks hugged Remus on the other side of Sirius and answered, "Because of our marriage and our child. Isn't that right, darling?"
"MARRIAGE? CHILD?" Sirius bellowed, the pressure of his fingers now actually hurting Remus's shoulder. "What's this nonsense she's saying, Remus?"
"Remus, tell him. It's not nonsense."
Eyes closed, Remus spoke slowly. "She's right, Sirius. We're married and have a little baby boy, called Te-"
"How in the fuck can you be married, Remus? You're fucking gay!"
"Don't call him gay, Sirius!"
"He fucking is, Tonks. I'd know."
"How come?" she asked petulantly.
"Because he was my lover, you silly girl!" Sirius was letting the famous Black temper flare. "We lived together, we had fucking amazing sex!" He turned to Remus. "How could you do this to me, Remus?" he asked, with hurt in his voice.
"You were dead, Sirius!"
"And that's a good excuse for you to turn straight all of a sudden?"
"He didn't turn straight. He is straight," Tonks answered, looking directly at Remus, her eyes searching his for assurance that she was right.
"I'm not, Tonks," Remus answered painfully. "Sirius is right. I am gay - or bi, I suppose. But I love him, always have, and...and I'm so sorry."
"Sorry? You are sorry? Is that all you can say? You married me, Remus. You promised to honor and respect me and stay by my side-"
"Until death did you part, and death just happened," Sirius retorted, "so that's it. He goes home with me."
"No, Sirius, death did not do us part. It put him and me here, together. He's my husband and he'll stay with me. Just like James and Lily."
"He was mine before he was yours," Sirius said, crossing his arms. "And I think the decision is his, not yours. He'll go with the one who makes him happier."
It was already surreal being dead and talking. It was even stranger looking like a twenty year-old again. But having his former lover and his wife fighting for him certainly topped everything in the bizarre chart. He looked at the two faces watching him, waiting for an answer.
His heart, his body, both wanted Sirius desperately. He closed his eyes, reliving the joy of being in Sirius's arms, of waking up every morning next to him. It had been grand then, but now, without the worries that life brought, it'd be even better.
But his conscience tilted the balance toward Tonks. The guilt of never making her happy in life burdened him. He owed her some sort of happiness, be it in detriment of his own or not.
How could he ever choose?
He was saved again by Lily. The Potters had been watching the scene, and James had even started a "Go with him, Remus," that was shushed by his wife, who elbowed him hard in the ribs and told him to be quiet.
"Tonks and Sirius, you're not helping Remus. It's not fair that you put him against the wall like that. Sirius, people do remarry after their spouse dies, so just accept the fact that Remus had the right to some happiness. Tonks, the past can't be erased. They had a life together, to which James and I were witnesses. I want you both to leave him alone and let him decide. Sirius, go to the townhouse. Tonks, go to your father's. Remus will stay the night with us. And I don't want to see either of you tonight."
She started pulling Remus to their cottage, but they hadn't gone too far when two voices spoke at the same time.
"This is eternity, Remus. Do you want to spend eternity with me or her?"
"Think about Teddy, Remus. Think about our family."
***
Lily sent James to stay with Sirius, probably because she knew that her husband would be partial to whom Remus should choose. She made a strong cup of tea and they sat in front of the fire in silence. Remus was happy that she was quiet. He needed time to think about what he should do. Finally, after finishing the tea, he broke the silence.
"What a mess, Lily."
"It happens," she said pragmatically.
"Has it happened before?"
"Many times. What I told Sirius is true: people do remarry."
"And who did they stay with, the old or the new?''
"It varies. There's no set rule, Remus, you know that."
"What am I going to do, Lily? I don't want to hurt either one of them."
"But you will hurt one of them. It's inevitable."
Remus sighed deeply. "It is, isn't it?"
"Yes. You can't stay with both."
"I can't?"
"Well, it has happened before, when the person loved both spouses equally. But this is not your case, is it?"
He shook his head.
"I know the reasons you would choose Sirius. Why would you stay with her, if it's obvious that you still love him deeply?"
"I owe it to her, Lily. She...she loves me, she gave me a wonderful child, she went against so many prejudices to be with me."
"So it's gratitude?"
"In a sense, yes, but I feel strongly about it."
"I don't think you'd be happy with her forever because you feel grateful.
"No, but she would. And she deserves it."
"What about him. Does he deserve happiness, too?"
"Of course! But..."
"But you'd be happy, too, and that would be unfair to Tonks?"
"Lily!" That was all Remus could say, when she had nailed the issue so well. Reluctantly, he nodded.
"Let me tell you something. Heaven is what you make of it. What's your heaven, Remus? With Sirius or with Tonks?"
"It's with him, you know it. But I can't do this to her."
"He's your soulmate, Remus. He was right: this is eternity. There's no death to put an end to your misery here. Think hard. Do you want to live miserably forever?"
"But how can I sentence her to a miserable life forever, Lily?" Remus exclaimed, exasperated. Lily made a lot of sense, but he just couldn't do this to Tonks.
"You don't know that. What you know is that, if you stay with her, you will be miserable, and Sirius will be miserable. She's still young-"
"You're not suggesting that she might find someone else, are you? She's dead! She can't find someone else."
"Why not? You have no idea about the mysteries of the afterlife, Remus. Suppose you died in battle and she survived. Maybe she would find another person to fall in love with and that person would be her soulmate. Maybe she had a boyfriend before you, things didn't work out because they were young or something like that. But that person could be her true soulmate.
"If you stay with Sirius, you make one person miserable. And you don't know whether she'll be alone forever. If you stay with her, you'll make two people miserable. It's simple mathematics. Cold just like numbers are, but precise. It's commendable that you’re so noble, but I would like you to be more selfish now. It's for all eternity, you know?
***
It was assumed that Voldemort had been vanquished, because no more dead friends or family members came to their hamlet. Then one day, as Tonks was sitting in the garden with her father, they heard a knock at the door. She peeked out of it and her face broke into a grin when she recognized the man standing outside.
"Charlie Weasley! What brings you here?"
He seemed very pleased to see her. "A mishap with a Hungarian Horntail. It was quick, though. Oh," he said, laughing at her surprised face, "I met James and Lily Potter on the road, and they already informed me that we're all dead." He then smiled mischievously. "They also told me that you're single again."
Charlie didn't look a day over sixteen. Which was the age he'd been when they had exchanged their first kiss and had promised to love each other forever. The happy days before they decided they were too young for commitments and had high ideals about their respective careers.
"I am," she said, feeling herself becoming younger, too. "And I suppose you never married?"
"Nope. Never found anyone else like you." He let his eyes leave hers just enough to look around curiously. "And what's this place called?" he asked, furrowing his brow.
"Heaven," she answered with a smile.
Author: Lee West (westwardlee)
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks, ?/Tonks
Rating: R
Prompt: Extra Round Prompt 4: R/S meet in the afterlife
Summary: Heaven is the place where you are at your happiest.
Word Count: ~3,500
Warning: Character deaths, canon and non.
Disclaimer: All Harry Potter characters herein are the property of J.K. Rowling and Bloomsbury/Scholastic. No copyright infringement is intended.
A/N: Many thanks to my betas, onehundredmoons and lyras.
***
People say that you see your life flashing in front of your eyes right at the moment of death, but later on Remus admitted he didn't remember any of that. He saw Tonks falling and, in that split second, he lowered his guard. Then he saw nothing else.
Until, suddenly, there was a light, which was perceptible even through his closed eyes. Strange that - Hogwarts, in the frenzy of battle, was anything but bright. He opened his eyes carefully, like someone who suddenly wakes up in the middle of a summer morning, bracing himself for the sting of the sudden brightness. But it was a benign light, similar to late dawn. Surprised, he opened his eyes wide and, still lying on his back, took a look out of the corner of his eyes.
He was lying on a grassy expanse. Definitely not anything like the Hogwarts grounds. Tentatively he sat up, blinking, and then saw, not far from him, the prone figure of his wife. Dead. Killed by her aunt. He felt a pang in his heart to see her lying there. She had been so young, so full of life. He squeezed his eyes shut, feeling horrible about a lot of things: her life cut so short, his son who would grow up without a mother, and, most of all, for not giving her the happiness she had deserved. Their marriage had been a strange affair, to say the least. She had been in love with him, apparently since she first saw him at an Order meeting. He had been caught in a web of self-pity about his condition and poverty, feeling an almost unbearable longing for Sirius and depressed beyond belief over being in Greyback's company. Weakened by it all, he'd accepted her tenderness as a lifeline, but, realizing later that she had fallen for him, he had broken it off. He didn't love her - he could never love her the way she deserved - and he didn't want to lead her on more than he foolishly had already.
It was Dumbledore's death that had made him reconsider their relationship. The old Headmaster, whom Sirius had long suspected was gay, too, had lived a long life and had died alone. That was the fate that awaited Remus. The tenderness he was witnessing in the hospital ward between Fleur and Bill was not to be for him. Now that Sirius was dead and gone forever, nobody would stand by Remus's sick bed side when his turn came.
Tonks's open declaration of love and the joint goading of McGonagall and Molly Weasley had broken through his barriers. His selfish side won the battle: he didn't love Tonks, but he needed someone who loved him so thoroughly.
Rubbing his eyes with shame, he thought about the horrible day he'd tried to leave Tonks and the yet unborn Teddy behind. It had been too overwhelming, learning that he was going to be a father, a mixture of elation and fear that he hadn't been able to handle. He'd been called to attention by Harry, gone back to her and his child and, when he saw the greatest gift he could ever receive, decided to thank Harry the best way he could, by naming him godfather to Teddy.
He adored his son more than anything else. And he was grateful to Tonks for loving him.
Sighing deeply, he rose from the ground and started walking toward Tonks. He now had a terrible mission, to take her body to Andromeda and, together, bury her. He walked slowly, thinking that it was probably his destiny to be a widower: twice now he'd lost his - what, spouse? Sirius had not been his legal spouse, of course, but he'd been, and remained, the love of his life. It had hurt him immensely to lose Sirius first to Azkaban and then lose him for good when he fell through the veil.
He was hurting now, too, albeit in a different way. Now it was deep regret and a sense of guilt for not having loved his wife as much. He approached her; she was lying with her face to one side, and Remus knelt down to pick her up. But, when he touched her, she opened her eyes.
"Remus?"
"Tonks! I...I thought you were dead."
She sat up. "Why would you think that?"
"Well...Bellatrix sent a Killing Curse your way and...and it hit you. You fell."
"The battle! What happened?" She looked around. "Where are we?"
"I don't know where we are and I have no idea what happened to the battle. We were there, side by side and suddenly, we're in this strange place."
She threw her arms around his neck. "At least we're together. Come on, let's find our way out of here. We need to get back to Teddy."
***
They walked hand in hand on the grass until it ended on a narrow path. They followed it for a while and finally saw a little hamlet at the end. It didn't look at all like the little village where they lived with Andromeda and Teddy, but they figured they could at least find out how far they were from home.
There was a sense of coziness to the place, although it seemed deserted. The little houses that bordered the main road leading to a square were shut and unlit. It was a curious place, but they walked on. Tonks commented briefly that one of the houses reminded her of her paternal grandparents', her father's childhood home, and Remus shivered a little as they passed a cottage that looked like James and Lily's at Godric's Hollow. A strange light was coming out of it, as if its inhabitants were sitting in the back room - which Remus remembered was the kitchen.
Then, at the end of the street, he came to a stop with a gasp. There it was, incongruous in the village of cottages and little houses, the townhouse he used to share with Sirius. A proper London townhouse - who had built such a thing in this place?
As if in answer to his question, the door of the townhouse opened, and out came Sirius, looking like his old twenty-year-old self. Tonks gasped and Sirius turned towards them.
"Remus!" he exclaimed happily. "I was waiting for you. The townhouse just appeared. I'm glad I can finally move out of Prongs and-"
Tonks had let go of Remus's hand and rushed to Sirius. "Sirius, what's going on? How can you be here? You are-"
Sirius's face was now open in a grin. "Dead," he said. "Just like you two." His eyes hadn't left Remus's face. His smile diminished a little and he asked with concern, "How did it happen? Was it quick?"
Remus was still speechless, his mind too confused to think coherently. That was probably a dream. Maybe he was actually in hospital wing and was hallucinating. How else would Sirius be there, looking as young and fit as he had been before that fatal Halloween night?
"Dead?" Tonks asked in a small voice, as if she was just accepting the hard reality. "We are dead?"
"Yes," Sirius answered gaily. "This is the place where you come after you die. There are, of course, different...heavens, for lack of a better name, all of them harmonious, in a sense. All of us in this specific place are related through family or friendship ties. So," he elbowed her playfully, "you won't see anyone from our nasty family tree here. Your dad's here - you may have recognized the old house where he lived as a child - and when your mum dies, then their house will be transported here, too, so they can live together forever. Here, you know, you're reunited with your true love." He winked at Remus, a gesture that thankfully went unnoticed by Tonks, but which made Remus pale.
The immensity of what was happening had just struck him: he was dead, and the townhouse he used to share with Sirius had appeared in this afterlife as soon as he'd fallen at Hogwarts, when its other owner was dead, too, and ready to resume the happy life he'd lived there with his true love.
That was heaven, after all, wasn't it? To be with Sirius for all eternity? Not having to worry about wars and being killed? Wasn't that what Remus had wanted since he had first fallen in love with Sirius, so many years before?
But what do you do with your other spouse? There was no heaven that could accommodate the three of them harmoniously. Remus knew that, as much as he knew that he wanted to spend his eternity with Sirius. But he couldn't hurt Tonks any more than he had already.
Most of all, it was obvious that Sirius didn't know about his marriage to Tonks. Apparently, in the afterlife, one didn't know what was going on in the living world. And he certainly had never told his wife that he was in love with someone else, someone who just happened to be male - and her cousin, too.
Sirius took a few steps in his direction and Remus knew, just by pure instinct, that he was about to be hugged and kissed by his former partner and in front of his wife. Forcing a reaction from his weary body, he took a small step backwards, and winced when he saw the quizzical look on Sirius's face. He knew he had to do something - maybe break the news that he was a married man and a father now, but he was saved by a cry coming from behind him. He turned around and saw Lily and James running in their direction.
"Sirius! We've got to go. Harry needs us now, in the Forest," Lily shouted, her long red hair flowing in the wind as she raced toward them. She looked good, just the way she'd been at Harry's first birthday, almost seventeen years ago. She saw him and ran faster.
"Remus! You've arrived. Come on, let's go. Harry needs all of us. Dumbledore will be waiting for him after it happens, but now he needs our support." She waved at Tonks, obviously not recognizing the young woman she'd last seen as a little girl. "We'll be right back," she said as an excuse.
"This is Tonks, Lily," Sirius said. "Andromeda's daughter."
Lily gave her a cursory look and smiled perfunctorily, as if not wanting to waste any time with pleasantries. "Tonks! Nice seeing you. Your father should be home, go see him. We'll fill you in as soon as we get back." With those words, she held her husband's hand and disappeared. Sirius waved at Remus, beckoning him to do the same. "Stay with Ted, Tonks," Sirius said. "We're going to help Harry."
The last thing Remus saw was Tonks's astonished face, before he was pulled from the hamlet and landed, in a sort of haze, in the Forbidden Forest.
***
They arrived back in the same grassy expanse and, although the mood was somber because of Harry, there was an excitement in Sirius that was catching. He was talkative and was walking very close to Remus, just like the old days. As they approached the hamlet, Sirius whispered in his ear, "Gorgeous as ever, Moony." Remus shivered and, to disguise his uneasiness, answered, "Gorgeous? All grey-haired and worn-out?"
Sirius laughed out loud and pulled Remus to a house window. "Look! You look like you are twenty again!"
It was true. There were no lines on his face and his hair was the same soft brown of his youth. He was also feeling lighter, sprier. He had also felt very happy in the Forest, as if the hardships he'd lived through the past seventeen years had never happened.
"Why is that? How did this happen?"
But Sirius never had time to answer, because Tonks, who apparently had been waiting for them, ran toward them and jumped around Remus's neck. "Remus! I'm so glad you're safe."
"He's dead, Tonks. He'll be safe forever now," Sirius laughed, casually flinging an arm around Remus's shoulder.
She stepped back and gasped. "What happened to you, Remus? You look...you look so young!"
Pulling Remus closer to him, Sirius answered, "He's looking like he did at the happiest time of his life. This is what happens here, Tonks."
She frowned and took Remus's hand. "I don't think so, Sirius. The happiest time of his life is now."
Sirius's fingers dug into Remus's shoulder. "Now? Why would he be at his happiest now?"
"I don't mean now, at this time. I mean that the happiest time of his life has been the past year."
"Why?" Sirius asked with a puzzled expression.
Tonks hugged Remus on the other side of Sirius and answered, "Because of our marriage and our child. Isn't that right, darling?"
"MARRIAGE? CHILD?" Sirius bellowed, the pressure of his fingers now actually hurting Remus's shoulder. "What's this nonsense she's saying, Remus?"
"Remus, tell him. It's not nonsense."
Eyes closed, Remus spoke slowly. "She's right, Sirius. We're married and have a little baby boy, called Te-"
"How in the fuck can you be married, Remus? You're fucking gay!"
"Don't call him gay, Sirius!"
"He fucking is, Tonks. I'd know."
"How come?" she asked petulantly.
"Because he was my lover, you silly girl!" Sirius was letting the famous Black temper flare. "We lived together, we had fucking amazing sex!" He turned to Remus. "How could you do this to me, Remus?" he asked, with hurt in his voice.
"You were dead, Sirius!"
"And that's a good excuse for you to turn straight all of a sudden?"
"He didn't turn straight. He is straight," Tonks answered, looking directly at Remus, her eyes searching his for assurance that she was right.
"I'm not, Tonks," Remus answered painfully. "Sirius is right. I am gay - or bi, I suppose. But I love him, always have, and...and I'm so sorry."
"Sorry? You are sorry? Is that all you can say? You married me, Remus. You promised to honor and respect me and stay by my side-"
"Until death did you part, and death just happened," Sirius retorted, "so that's it. He goes home with me."
"No, Sirius, death did not do us part. It put him and me here, together. He's my husband and he'll stay with me. Just like James and Lily."
"He was mine before he was yours," Sirius said, crossing his arms. "And I think the decision is his, not yours. He'll go with the one who makes him happier."
It was already surreal being dead and talking. It was even stranger looking like a twenty year-old again. But having his former lover and his wife fighting for him certainly topped everything in the bizarre chart. He looked at the two faces watching him, waiting for an answer.
His heart, his body, both wanted Sirius desperately. He closed his eyes, reliving the joy of being in Sirius's arms, of waking up every morning next to him. It had been grand then, but now, without the worries that life brought, it'd be even better.
But his conscience tilted the balance toward Tonks. The guilt of never making her happy in life burdened him. He owed her some sort of happiness, be it in detriment of his own or not.
How could he ever choose?
He was saved again by Lily. The Potters had been watching the scene, and James had even started a "Go with him, Remus," that was shushed by his wife, who elbowed him hard in the ribs and told him to be quiet.
"Tonks and Sirius, you're not helping Remus. It's not fair that you put him against the wall like that. Sirius, people do remarry after their spouse dies, so just accept the fact that Remus had the right to some happiness. Tonks, the past can't be erased. They had a life together, to which James and I were witnesses. I want you both to leave him alone and let him decide. Sirius, go to the townhouse. Tonks, go to your father's. Remus will stay the night with us. And I don't want to see either of you tonight."
She started pulling Remus to their cottage, but they hadn't gone too far when two voices spoke at the same time.
"This is eternity, Remus. Do you want to spend eternity with me or her?"
"Think about Teddy, Remus. Think about our family."
***
Lily sent James to stay with Sirius, probably because she knew that her husband would be partial to whom Remus should choose. She made a strong cup of tea and they sat in front of the fire in silence. Remus was happy that she was quiet. He needed time to think about what he should do. Finally, after finishing the tea, he broke the silence.
"What a mess, Lily."
"It happens," she said pragmatically.
"Has it happened before?"
"Many times. What I told Sirius is true: people do remarry."
"And who did they stay with, the old or the new?''
"It varies. There's no set rule, Remus, you know that."
"What am I going to do, Lily? I don't want to hurt either one of them."
"But you will hurt one of them. It's inevitable."
Remus sighed deeply. "It is, isn't it?"
"Yes. You can't stay with both."
"I can't?"
"Well, it has happened before, when the person loved both spouses equally. But this is not your case, is it?"
He shook his head.
"I know the reasons you would choose Sirius. Why would you stay with her, if it's obvious that you still love him deeply?"
"I owe it to her, Lily. She...she loves me, she gave me a wonderful child, she went against so many prejudices to be with me."
"So it's gratitude?"
"In a sense, yes, but I feel strongly about it."
"I don't think you'd be happy with her forever because you feel grateful.
"No, but she would. And she deserves it."
"What about him. Does he deserve happiness, too?"
"Of course! But..."
"But you'd be happy, too, and that would be unfair to Tonks?"
"Lily!" That was all Remus could say, when she had nailed the issue so well. Reluctantly, he nodded.
"Let me tell you something. Heaven is what you make of it. What's your heaven, Remus? With Sirius or with Tonks?"
"It's with him, you know it. But I can't do this to her."
"He's your soulmate, Remus. He was right: this is eternity. There's no death to put an end to your misery here. Think hard. Do you want to live miserably forever?"
"But how can I sentence her to a miserable life forever, Lily?" Remus exclaimed, exasperated. Lily made a lot of sense, but he just couldn't do this to Tonks.
"You don't know that. What you know is that, if you stay with her, you will be miserable, and Sirius will be miserable. She's still young-"
"You're not suggesting that she might find someone else, are you? She's dead! She can't find someone else."
"Why not? You have no idea about the mysteries of the afterlife, Remus. Suppose you died in battle and she survived. Maybe she would find another person to fall in love with and that person would be her soulmate. Maybe she had a boyfriend before you, things didn't work out because they were young or something like that. But that person could be her true soulmate.
"If you stay with Sirius, you make one person miserable. And you don't know whether she'll be alone forever. If you stay with her, you'll make two people miserable. It's simple mathematics. Cold just like numbers are, but precise. It's commendable that you’re so noble, but I would like you to be more selfish now. It's for all eternity, you know?
***
It was assumed that Voldemort had been vanquished, because no more dead friends or family members came to their hamlet. Then one day, as Tonks was sitting in the garden with her father, they heard a knock at the door. She peeked out of it and her face broke into a grin when she recognized the man standing outside.
"Charlie Weasley! What brings you here?"
He seemed very pleased to see her. "A mishap with a Hungarian Horntail. It was quick, though. Oh," he said, laughing at her surprised face, "I met James and Lily Potter on the road, and they already informed me that we're all dead." He then smiled mischievously. "They also told me that you're single again."
Charlie didn't look a day over sixteen. Which was the age he'd been when they had exchanged their first kiss and had promised to love each other forever. The happy days before they decided they were too young for commitments and had high ideals about their respective careers.
"I am," she said, feeling herself becoming younger, too. "And I suppose you never married?"
"Nope. Never found anyone else like you." He let his eyes leave hers just enough to look around curiously. "And what's this place called?" he asked, furrowing his brow.
"Heaven," she answered with a smile.