[FIC] - 'Shift' [ROUND 1]
Title: Shift
Author: hpsauce
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Teddy
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some slash and het (not explicit)
Death, Sirius thought, was rather like being drunk. In fact, if he closed his eyes he could imagine that it was still 1977 and he was still slumped into the yellowed grass outside the Potter's house, lying but a few feet from his Moony and waiting until the appropriate moment to attack Prongs' unsuspecting legs.
Time, it appeared, had stopped. It still happened, of course, Sirius could count it by the movements of his arms and legs and the strange pulse-like drumming in his ears. The world seemed quiet and Sirius' mind had decided to wander between subjects, never lingering too long on anything. Never lingering for long enough for him to complete thoughts like 'I wonder where Moony is' or 'I wish there was chocolate in heaven' or 'what exactly is the meaning of life?'.
Then, as suddenly as he arrived there, the oblivion around him faded and was replaced.
Sirius didn't think he had ever seen such a depressing room in his life. For a moment, he wished to be returned to the nothingness of the veil. Then, he heard a familiar groan and he turned around quickly, staring across the room.
Remus sat up and turned around, his face paler than Sirius remembered ever seeing it. The man stood up stiffly, and walked towards Sirius.
Sirius grinned and held out his arms, expecting Remus' eyes to light up as they embraced, reunited at long last.
His arms remained outstretched as Remus continued walking. They fell to his sides, useless.
Remus passed by and stilled by the bookshelf. His hand reached out and then hovered in mid-air. He turned back into the room and Sirius' spirits rose. He gave his move winning smile.
Remus' eyes sparkled and he turned away. He shook strangely and Sirius waited a whole minute before he realised Remus was crying.
It was, well, there was no other word to describe it but terrifying. Sirius had never seen Remus cry before. He ran across the room and reached out a hand, wrappign around a thin wrist, his other reaching up to touch his face.
His hand passed through the skin as if it didn't exist and he stared in confusion. Remus' eyes moved over him, unseeing, and Sirius stepped away, horrified.
"Moony?" he asked, his hand once again passing through the man's cheek. He closed his eyes, trying to think of anything but this terrible reality, where Remus Lupin cried and Sirius barely existed at all.
"He's dead," Harry muttered, staring out in front of him. Sirius turned around in confusion, finding himself in an unfamiliar room. "He's - gone."
Sirius frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out again, his hand touching nothing as it extended through Harry's chest.
"Cheer up," he muttered to the boy, looking at the angry, green eyes. "It could be worse, right?"
He wondered who he was trying to convince as he squeezed his eyes tightly closed and focused on returning to where he had been before - where thoughts never stayed long enough to hurt him.
And then he was returned. His thoughts were as slow as ever, slipping through his fingers like sand. He remembered drinking wine the night before 'that Halloween' and holding Harry when the baby had cried and lying in bed with Remus after nightmares and, when the world shifted again, he found it was hardly a shock at all.
Remus was dry eyed, at least. He still had a sad air about him, but Sirius could not remember a time he had looked truly happy since the eighties.
The man was sat at the table, teacup clutched in a tight grip that turned his knuckles white. The paper sat before him and he stared at it as if it were not there at all. Sirius moved closer, wanting to look the man in the eye, wondering if maybe this time, by some miracle, those amber eyes would look upon him with recognition.
Remus's face stayed downturned. Sirius sat on the chair across from him and leaned forward, staring at the man's face. Remus looked up finally, his eyes staring at the clock worriedly. Sirius was finally able to see the half-completed crossword - the words smudged from where the quill had broken in Remus' shaking hands.
"Oh Moony," he chuckled. "You big girl's blouse."
He looked at the broken quill set aside and leaned forward, running his finger across it. He hesitated for a moment before moving his hand an inch to the left, letting it rest close to Remus' long, knobbily fingers.
Remus stood, drawing his hand up so it passed through Sirius' as he walked away. Sirius stood and followed, moving across to the door. He knew the moment Remus left, he would have to leave, and he willed with every bone in his (possibly false) body that he would stay.
Wishes hardly ever worked, however, and Remus cast one last, confused look over his shoulder before he moved into the next room, muttering about finding a jumper.
Sirius closed his eyes as it all faded to darkness, thinking the other name over and over. The world seemed to rearrange itself and he looked down at his sleeping godson.
The boy shifted slightly in his bed, reaching out a hand into the darkness. Sirius reached out to grab it, knowing it was useless. Harry muttered something before falling back into a calmer sleep.
Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at his godson's calm face. It seemed sad that he had never seen the teenager asleep while he was living. He reached out a hand and brushed at Harry's fringe, sorry that this would be the first time he had ever even tried to tuck him in.
"Goodnight, kid," he muttered gruffly. Harry muttered something more as the world faded again.
And this time, he thought of more pleasant things. He thought of doing the crossword with Moony on lazy Saturday mornings and the smell of baby powder that remained on his clothes while Harry was small and the only time he and Remus had held hands. He was so drawn up in his thoughts, in fact, that it was rather surprising to suddenly find himself in a brightly-coloured living room, watching a strange woman and man kissing.
Sirius stiffened as he looked at the couple on the couch. For a moment, he thought he had arrived in the wrong place, before the woman moved her head and Sirius saw Remus' flushed face at last.
It was strange, he thought, that he didn't feel jealous. Maybe the cliched words were true. Maybe he didn't want Remus to mourn him forever. Maybe he wanted him to move on and be happy.
"I-," Remus breathed, moving his face away. "Tonks, I-."
The woman leand closer again and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. Remus pushed her away more roughly.
"Tonks!" he cried. "I can't! I can't do this! It isn't fair!"
Tonks shook her head and stepped back awkwardly. "Remus, I love you."
Sirius looked at the disbelief on Remus' face and remembered a similar scene so many years before. He only hoped that Remus would remember those words leaving Sirius' mouth and know what the right decision.
"Just go," Remus said, his shoulder shaking. "Just-."
Tonks turned on her heel and stormed from the room. Sirius' slap went right through Remus' cheek and seemed not to bring even an inkling of sense. Remus stood slowly and wandered from the room, his face pale.
Sirius returned to Harry. The boy was still awake, despite the late hour. He looked down at the boys face, wishing nothing more than to be able to comfort him.
"I need to know what he's doing," Harry muttered to himself, staring down at the Marauder's Map.
Sirius could not fight the grin spreading across his face as he leant forward, watching as Harry's wand followed Malfoy throught the corridors. At least someone was keeping the Marauder spirit alive.
And when he returned to the nothingness, he thought of midnight pranks on Snivellus and silly fights with Remus and, for some inexplicable reason, about one afternoon where he had got very drunk and fallen off his broom. He was startled from this rather disturbing memory by a familiar voice.
"Should we get married?"
Sirius had always known Remus Lupin had no tact, but this was still an eye openner. He stared at the man, sitting calmly next to Nymphadora Tonks. They both returned to their books as if nothing had been said.
Sirius stepped closer and sat down between them, running his hand along the tomes. If they were this boring about everything, maybe he should just return to Harry. He was more fun even when he was sleeping.
"I meant it," Remus said, looking up again. His eyes were brighter than Sirius remembered, reminding him of Hogsmeade weekends and stolen kisses and Christmas. "Let's get married."
"Are you sure?" Tonks asked.
"Y-," Remus hesitated and then beamed. "Why not?"
Sirius could think of a thousand reasons why not. No one, however, asked his opinion. In fact, they just leapt over him as Tonks grabbed Remus and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
Sirius stepped away and pulled a face. He could accept them, but watching them kiss was, well, strange. Sirius had never seen Remus kissing anyone before - except James at the 1978 New Year's party, but that hardly counted.
Sirius stepped back and smiled, closing his eyes as the world faded to grey.
Sirius looked around the next room in disgust. It seemed to be little more than a dump, covered in broken toys, ripped books and dust. He moved over to the pile of covers, alrady knowing what he would see.
Harry's green eyes stared above him. Sirius could tell by the way he was worrying his lip that he was deep in thought.
Sirius leaned forward and brushed his hand against the angry scar. Harry didn't move. Sirius smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, cocking his head from side-to-side, not knowing what his godson could be thinking of. At sixteen he had spent his time thinking about motorbikes and parties and Moony's lips. He had never had the worries that Harry no doubt had.
"Sleep well," he whispered, as if Harry might be startled if he spoke too loudly. He longed to reach out and hold him, but his hand passed through the boys shoulder. "Look after yourself."
In the oblivion, Sirius tried not to think about Remus. However, as surely as he was never able to hold onto a thought for long, he was unable to keep thoughts of Remus away. He remembered the taste of his lips and the feel of his stubbled cheek against his own and how they had laid one night in dew-damp grass, watching the moon and talking about nothing.
Sirius stared at the sky. He could see each star, amazingly clear and bright against the darkness. He could name each constellation and did so now, his eyes roaming the sky, searching for the dog star.
There was a shuddering cough and he turned to the side, staring at the pile of rags he had supposed was a tramp. A pair of amber eyes stared up at the stars from a miserable, scarred face.
"Oh Moony," Sirus mock-sighed. He sat down on the bench, next to Remus' scuffed shoes, and patted his leg lightly. "We should have seen this coming. You should know better than to pick a fight with a Black. She wouldn't even stop short at the sofa, eh?"
Remus made a muffled noise and Sirius smiled, leaning forward and looking down at the familiar face. He leaned forward and kissed his forehead softly.
"To warm you up," Sirius said with a grin, although it appeared to have the opposite effect. He stepped away as Remus started to shiver, his eyes fixed on the heavens.
Sirius frowned, wanting to stay, but feeling the pull of time. He closed his eyes, knowing his must return to Harry before he was forced back to the nothingness.
The tent was in darkness. Harry was a faint shape in the doorway, sat stiff and alert. Sirius moved past him unseen, sitting before the boy as he shivered in the cold.
Harry's face was unreadable. His brows were drawn together, his lips set, his eyes hard. Sirius examined his face and smiled tenderly. He looked more like his father than ever. His head held high and his face that of a man, no longer a boy.
Sirius swallowed hard and turned his face away, closing his eyes as he swallowed against the burning in his throat.
Sirius' thoughts were not pleasant this time. He thought of James Potter for the first time in a while. The frown that became permenant on his face and his voice when he was angry and the way he looked at Sirius the last time they met. And even though Sirius was not sure he existed, his heart twisted painfully and his eyes stung and he wrapped his arms around himself tightly to stop himself from weeping.
"Do you ever worry?" Remus asked. Sirius straightened up and turned around, glad to see his Moony back in a warm bed. The man was even smiling, despite the obvious serious situation.
"Never," Tonks said. "It's a war. We've both lost people, but we have to stay optimistic."
Remus held her tightly to him, staring into the darkness where Sirius stood. For a moment, his eyes focused and Sirius wondered if maybe, finally, he could see him.
"I don't want to lose you," he whispered.
Tonks laughed, less bitterly than Sirius would have expected. "You won't," she said. "We'll both be fine."
Remus squeezed his eyes shut and Sirius knew he had heard this all before. The man held his wife tighter, turning her to face him.
"I want you to know," he said. "That I love you."
Sirius expected the pain in his stomach to be greater, really. He watched Remus place a tender kiss on Tonk's mouth and he swallowed deeply before shaking his head. It might hurt, but his heart soared when Remus pulled back, his lips turned upwards in a smile.
"I love you too," Tonks breathed and Remus grinned.
Sirus couldn't help but smile too. He turned away, giving them their privacy as he closed his eyes, searching for his godson.
His first thought was that he knew this place. The strange streets and the rustic cottages. He had been to this place a million times before.
He followed Harry and Hermione down the road, watching as they walked past the church, filled with carollers, and stepped into the graveyard.
His blood ran cold as his eyes were drawn across it. He stepped back for a moment, wondering why theyhad come here, why anyone would ever want to come here.
He followed them past the graves until they came to those of his dearest friends. He reached out, his hand ghosting over Harry's shoulder as he wished, not for the first time, that he could be there in person.
He stepped closer, looking down at the graves for the first time, and blinking back his own tears. There was no need to be strong for Harry. Harry would have to be strong for himself.
He stepped back and waited for Hermione's shout. Harry turned away and he thanked the deities for whatever the distraction was as Harry's face changed and he withdrew.
Sirius remembered Remus' voice as he muttered 'I -err - like you quite a lot' and how he had blushed crimson at the word love and how Lily had laughed, head thrown back, when Remus had insisted that it was 'hardly love, exactly' because she said it was obvious.
"I love you," Remus mumbled. Sirius looked up and stopped short, staring at the tiny bundle in Remus' arms. The man was smiling down at it, holding it tightly to his chest.
For a moment he was watching him holding Harry, seventeen years before. The smiling face held less wrinkles and the greying hair was made brown by the golden night-light. Sirius expected him to look up any second and say 'He's your godson, alright. Just look at that pout.'
The illusion was ruined with a flash of blue hair.
"I do," Remus muttered. "I don't say that to just anyone you know. But it's true. You're...you're perfect."
Sirius smiled and moved forward, wrapping an arm around Remus' waist and staring down at the infant's face.
The baby opened it's Remus-eyes and crinkled it's perfect Black nose and stared straight at Sirius before screaming like a banshee.
Remus laughed and rocked him softly, not moving from Sirius' embrace. He continued to stare down at his son, wonder on his face as he touched each tiny finger and placed a kiss on his little button nose.
Sirius stepped back, smiling at the little family and feeling glad. He knew deep down that he could never have given Remus his happily-ever-after. He was happy he had found it at last. He closed his eyes.
"I think I've almost got it," Ron muttered, his face close to the wireless as he listened to the static. Harry chuckled softly, the furrow of his brow evening out at last.
Sirius looked over at his godson, sat between his two bestfriends and laughed along with them. Harry stilled suddenly, turning towards the flap of the door, wand drawn.
The other two stilled as he stood, moving away. He pushed open the tent flap and, as much as Sirius tried to stay, the world faded once more.
And this time Sirius had no time to think. No sooner had he returned than the world changed again and he saw a lash of green light and Remus fell backwards and Sirius did the first thing he could think of.
He held out his arm, remembering too late that the living couldn't touch him. And Remus' eyes widened and his mouth opened in a wide 'o' and Sirius' hand touched a very solid shoulder.
Author: hpsauce
Characters/Pairings: Sirius/Remus, Remus/Tonks, Harry, Hermione, Ron, Teddy
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Some slash and het (not explicit)
Death, Sirius thought, was rather like being drunk. In fact, if he closed his eyes he could imagine that it was still 1977 and he was still slumped into the yellowed grass outside the Potter's house, lying but a few feet from his Moony and waiting until the appropriate moment to attack Prongs' unsuspecting legs.
Time, it appeared, had stopped. It still happened, of course, Sirius could count it by the movements of his arms and legs and the strange pulse-like drumming in his ears. The world seemed quiet and Sirius' mind had decided to wander between subjects, never lingering too long on anything. Never lingering for long enough for him to complete thoughts like 'I wonder where Moony is' or 'I wish there was chocolate in heaven' or 'what exactly is the meaning of life?'.
Then, as suddenly as he arrived there, the oblivion around him faded and was replaced.
Sirius didn't think he had ever seen such a depressing room in his life. For a moment, he wished to be returned to the nothingness of the veil. Then, he heard a familiar groan and he turned around quickly, staring across the room.
Remus sat up and turned around, his face paler than Sirius remembered ever seeing it. The man stood up stiffly, and walked towards Sirius.
Sirius grinned and held out his arms, expecting Remus' eyes to light up as they embraced, reunited at long last.
His arms remained outstretched as Remus continued walking. They fell to his sides, useless.
Remus passed by and stilled by the bookshelf. His hand reached out and then hovered in mid-air. He turned back into the room and Sirius' spirits rose. He gave his move winning smile.
Remus' eyes sparkled and he turned away. He shook strangely and Sirius waited a whole minute before he realised Remus was crying.
It was, well, there was no other word to describe it but terrifying. Sirius had never seen Remus cry before. He ran across the room and reached out a hand, wrappign around a thin wrist, his other reaching up to touch his face.
His hand passed through the skin as if it didn't exist and he stared in confusion. Remus' eyes moved over him, unseeing, and Sirius stepped away, horrified.
"Moony?" he asked, his hand once again passing through the man's cheek. He closed his eyes, trying to think of anything but this terrible reality, where Remus Lupin cried and Sirius barely existed at all.
"He's dead," Harry muttered, staring out in front of him. Sirius turned around in confusion, finding himself in an unfamiliar room. "He's - gone."
Sirius frowned and sat on the edge of the bed. He reached out again, his hand touching nothing as it extended through Harry's chest.
"Cheer up," he muttered to the boy, looking at the angry, green eyes. "It could be worse, right?"
He wondered who he was trying to convince as he squeezed his eyes tightly closed and focused on returning to where he had been before - where thoughts never stayed long enough to hurt him.
And then he was returned. His thoughts were as slow as ever, slipping through his fingers like sand. He remembered drinking wine the night before 'that Halloween' and holding Harry when the baby had cried and lying in bed with Remus after nightmares and, when the world shifted again, he found it was hardly a shock at all.
Remus was dry eyed, at least. He still had a sad air about him, but Sirius could not remember a time he had looked truly happy since the eighties.
The man was sat at the table, teacup clutched in a tight grip that turned his knuckles white. The paper sat before him and he stared at it as if it were not there at all. Sirius moved closer, wanting to look the man in the eye, wondering if maybe this time, by some miracle, those amber eyes would look upon him with recognition.
Remus's face stayed downturned. Sirius sat on the chair across from him and leaned forward, staring at the man's face. Remus looked up finally, his eyes staring at the clock worriedly. Sirius was finally able to see the half-completed crossword - the words smudged from where the quill had broken in Remus' shaking hands.
"Oh Moony," he chuckled. "You big girl's blouse."
He looked at the broken quill set aside and leaned forward, running his finger across it. He hesitated for a moment before moving his hand an inch to the left, letting it rest close to Remus' long, knobbily fingers.
Remus stood, drawing his hand up so it passed through Sirius' as he walked away. Sirius stood and followed, moving across to the door. He knew the moment Remus left, he would have to leave, and he willed with every bone in his (possibly false) body that he would stay.
Wishes hardly ever worked, however, and Remus cast one last, confused look over his shoulder before he moved into the next room, muttering about finding a jumper.
Sirius closed his eyes as it all faded to darkness, thinking the other name over and over. The world seemed to rearrange itself and he looked down at his sleeping godson.
The boy shifted slightly in his bed, reaching out a hand into the darkness. Sirius reached out to grab it, knowing it was useless. Harry muttered something before falling back into a calmer sleep.
Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, looking down at his godson's calm face. It seemed sad that he had never seen the teenager asleep while he was living. He reached out a hand and brushed at Harry's fringe, sorry that this would be the first time he had ever even tried to tuck him in.
"Goodnight, kid," he muttered gruffly. Harry muttered something more as the world faded again.
And this time, he thought of more pleasant things. He thought of doing the crossword with Moony on lazy Saturday mornings and the smell of baby powder that remained on his clothes while Harry was small and the only time he and Remus had held hands. He was so drawn up in his thoughts, in fact, that it was rather surprising to suddenly find himself in a brightly-coloured living room, watching a strange woman and man kissing.
Sirius stiffened as he looked at the couple on the couch. For a moment, he thought he had arrived in the wrong place, before the woman moved her head and Sirius saw Remus' flushed face at last.
It was strange, he thought, that he didn't feel jealous. Maybe the cliched words were true. Maybe he didn't want Remus to mourn him forever. Maybe he wanted him to move on and be happy.
"I-," Remus breathed, moving his face away. "Tonks, I-."
The woman leand closer again and pressed a soft kiss to his mouth. Remus pushed her away more roughly.
"Tonks!" he cried. "I can't! I can't do this! It isn't fair!"
Tonks shook her head and stepped back awkwardly. "Remus, I love you."
Sirius looked at the disbelief on Remus' face and remembered a similar scene so many years before. He only hoped that Remus would remember those words leaving Sirius' mouth and know what the right decision.
"Just go," Remus said, his shoulder shaking. "Just-."
Tonks turned on her heel and stormed from the room. Sirius' slap went right through Remus' cheek and seemed not to bring even an inkling of sense. Remus stood slowly and wandered from the room, his face pale.
Sirius returned to Harry. The boy was still awake, despite the late hour. He looked down at the boys face, wishing nothing more than to be able to comfort him.
"I need to know what he's doing," Harry muttered to himself, staring down at the Marauder's Map.
Sirius could not fight the grin spreading across his face as he leant forward, watching as Harry's wand followed Malfoy throught the corridors. At least someone was keeping the Marauder spirit alive.
And when he returned to the nothingness, he thought of midnight pranks on Snivellus and silly fights with Remus and, for some inexplicable reason, about one afternoon where he had got very drunk and fallen off his broom. He was startled from this rather disturbing memory by a familiar voice.
"Should we get married?"
Sirius had always known Remus Lupin had no tact, but this was still an eye openner. He stared at the man, sitting calmly next to Nymphadora Tonks. They both returned to their books as if nothing had been said.
Sirius stepped closer and sat down between them, running his hand along the tomes. If they were this boring about everything, maybe he should just return to Harry. He was more fun even when he was sleeping.
"I meant it," Remus said, looking up again. His eyes were brighter than Sirius remembered, reminding him of Hogsmeade weekends and stolen kisses and Christmas. "Let's get married."
"Are you sure?" Tonks asked.
"Y-," Remus hesitated and then beamed. "Why not?"
Sirius could think of a thousand reasons why not. No one, however, asked his opinion. In fact, they just leapt over him as Tonks grabbed Remus and pulled him into a passionate kiss.
Sirius stepped away and pulled a face. He could accept them, but watching them kiss was, well, strange. Sirius had never seen Remus kissing anyone before - except James at the 1978 New Year's party, but that hardly counted.
Sirius stepped back and smiled, closing his eyes as the world faded to grey.
Sirius looked around the next room in disgust. It seemed to be little more than a dump, covered in broken toys, ripped books and dust. He moved over to the pile of covers, alrady knowing what he would see.
Harry's green eyes stared above him. Sirius could tell by the way he was worrying his lip that he was deep in thought.
Sirius leaned forward and brushed his hand against the angry scar. Harry didn't move. Sirius smiled and sat on the edge of the bed, cocking his head from side-to-side, not knowing what his godson could be thinking of. At sixteen he had spent his time thinking about motorbikes and parties and Moony's lips. He had never had the worries that Harry no doubt had.
"Sleep well," he whispered, as if Harry might be startled if he spoke too loudly. He longed to reach out and hold him, but his hand passed through the boys shoulder. "Look after yourself."
In the oblivion, Sirius tried not to think about Remus. However, as surely as he was never able to hold onto a thought for long, he was unable to keep thoughts of Remus away. He remembered the taste of his lips and the feel of his stubbled cheek against his own and how they had laid one night in dew-damp grass, watching the moon and talking about nothing.
Sirius stared at the sky. He could see each star, amazingly clear and bright against the darkness. He could name each constellation and did so now, his eyes roaming the sky, searching for the dog star.
There was a shuddering cough and he turned to the side, staring at the pile of rags he had supposed was a tramp. A pair of amber eyes stared up at the stars from a miserable, scarred face.
"Oh Moony," Sirus mock-sighed. He sat down on the bench, next to Remus' scuffed shoes, and patted his leg lightly. "We should have seen this coming. You should know better than to pick a fight with a Black. She wouldn't even stop short at the sofa, eh?"
Remus made a muffled noise and Sirius smiled, leaning forward and looking down at the familiar face. He leaned forward and kissed his forehead softly.
"To warm you up," Sirius said with a grin, although it appeared to have the opposite effect. He stepped away as Remus started to shiver, his eyes fixed on the heavens.
Sirius frowned, wanting to stay, but feeling the pull of time. He closed his eyes, knowing his must return to Harry before he was forced back to the nothingness.
The tent was in darkness. Harry was a faint shape in the doorway, sat stiff and alert. Sirius moved past him unseen, sitting before the boy as he shivered in the cold.
Harry's face was unreadable. His brows were drawn together, his lips set, his eyes hard. Sirius examined his face and smiled tenderly. He looked more like his father than ever. His head held high and his face that of a man, no longer a boy.
Sirius swallowed hard and turned his face away, closing his eyes as he swallowed against the burning in his throat.
Sirius' thoughts were not pleasant this time. He thought of James Potter for the first time in a while. The frown that became permenant on his face and his voice when he was angry and the way he looked at Sirius the last time they met. And even though Sirius was not sure he existed, his heart twisted painfully and his eyes stung and he wrapped his arms around himself tightly to stop himself from weeping.
"Do you ever worry?" Remus asked. Sirius straightened up and turned around, glad to see his Moony back in a warm bed. The man was even smiling, despite the obvious serious situation.
"Never," Tonks said. "It's a war. We've both lost people, but we have to stay optimistic."
Remus held her tightly to him, staring into the darkness where Sirius stood. For a moment, his eyes focused and Sirius wondered if maybe, finally, he could see him.
"I don't want to lose you," he whispered.
Tonks laughed, less bitterly than Sirius would have expected. "You won't," she said. "We'll both be fine."
Remus squeezed his eyes shut and Sirius knew he had heard this all before. The man held his wife tighter, turning her to face him.
"I want you to know," he said. "That I love you."
Sirius expected the pain in his stomach to be greater, really. He watched Remus place a tender kiss on Tonk's mouth and he swallowed deeply before shaking his head. It might hurt, but his heart soared when Remus pulled back, his lips turned upwards in a smile.
"I love you too," Tonks breathed and Remus grinned.
Sirus couldn't help but smile too. He turned away, giving them their privacy as he closed his eyes, searching for his godson.
His first thought was that he knew this place. The strange streets and the rustic cottages. He had been to this place a million times before.
He followed Harry and Hermione down the road, watching as they walked past the church, filled with carollers, and stepped into the graveyard.
His blood ran cold as his eyes were drawn across it. He stepped back for a moment, wondering why theyhad come here, why anyone would ever want to come here.
He followed them past the graves until they came to those of his dearest friends. He reached out, his hand ghosting over Harry's shoulder as he wished, not for the first time, that he could be there in person.
He stepped closer, looking down at the graves for the first time, and blinking back his own tears. There was no need to be strong for Harry. Harry would have to be strong for himself.
He stepped back and waited for Hermione's shout. Harry turned away and he thanked the deities for whatever the distraction was as Harry's face changed and he withdrew.
Sirius remembered Remus' voice as he muttered 'I -err - like you quite a lot' and how he had blushed crimson at the word love and how Lily had laughed, head thrown back, when Remus had insisted that it was 'hardly love, exactly' because she said it was obvious.
"I love you," Remus mumbled. Sirius looked up and stopped short, staring at the tiny bundle in Remus' arms. The man was smiling down at it, holding it tightly to his chest.
For a moment he was watching him holding Harry, seventeen years before. The smiling face held less wrinkles and the greying hair was made brown by the golden night-light. Sirius expected him to look up any second and say 'He's your godson, alright. Just look at that pout.'
The illusion was ruined with a flash of blue hair.
"I do," Remus muttered. "I don't say that to just anyone you know. But it's true. You're...you're perfect."
Sirius smiled and moved forward, wrapping an arm around Remus' waist and staring down at the infant's face.
The baby opened it's Remus-eyes and crinkled it's perfect Black nose and stared straight at Sirius before screaming like a banshee.
Remus laughed and rocked him softly, not moving from Sirius' embrace. He continued to stare down at his son, wonder on his face as he touched each tiny finger and placed a kiss on his little button nose.
Sirius stepped back, smiling at the little family and feeling glad. He knew deep down that he could never have given Remus his happily-ever-after. He was happy he had found it at last. He closed his eyes.
"I think I've almost got it," Ron muttered, his face close to the wireless as he listened to the static. Harry chuckled softly, the furrow of his brow evening out at last.
Sirius looked over at his godson, sat between his two bestfriends and laughed along with them. Harry stilled suddenly, turning towards the flap of the door, wand drawn.
The other two stilled as he stood, moving away. He pushed open the tent flap and, as much as Sirius tried to stay, the world faded once more.
And this time Sirius had no time to think. No sooner had he returned than the world changed again and he saw a lash of green light and Remus fell backwards and Sirius did the first thing he could think of.
He held out his arm, remembering too late that the living couldn't touch him. And Remus' eyes widened and his mouth opened in a wide 'o' and Sirius' hand touched a very solid shoulder.