F. Lascivus
Author: fluffyllama
Title: F. Lascivus
Rating: PG-13 (see warnings)
Pairing/s: Stiles/Derek (references only, Derek doesn't appear - or does he?)
Character/s: Stiles Stilinski
Summary: Stiles receives a surprise gift from the Porn Fairy.
Warnings: Contains swearing, and references to nudity, porn and masturbation. I can amend the rating if necessary, but I'm used to HP fandom which tends to rate lower than many.
Word Count: 940
Prompt: 02 - photographs
Author's Notes: Here's me, bringing down the tone of the neighbourhood again ;-)
It's almost 2am when the email arrives, and Stiles is moments away from flopping face down on his bed. He should leave it till tomorrow, get some sleep while he feels like he could, while his brain is in quiet mode for once.
On the other hand, how long can it take to read one email?
Especially when it consists of just seven words and one picture. One photograph. Thought you might be interested in this it says on the subject line, and that's it. And Holy God, is he ever interested. It's a simple image, black and white. A man, naked under water of some kind, a large shower or something, whatever they use for this kind of shot. His head is tilted back, dark hair dripping, mouth teasing at the spray of water.
Stiles has been using the internet unrestricted for roughly two thirds of his short life, though he'll deny it if asked by anyone who might have reason to give him hassle about it. He's seen more naked bodies than he can count, including plenty of hot, muscled men dripping with water, and plenty that don't cut off barely past the treasure trail, which should be a crime with this guy's body. It should be seen, and seen all the time, in all its naked glory.
It's just-
It's just that if you squint, and allow for the wetness of the hair and the scrunched up expression, and the way you don't get a full view of his face, then it looks maybe a little bit like Derek. Or even a lot like him.
It's not, of course. Stiles knows that. What are the chances of finding naked pictures of someone you know on the internet- tiny, probably. Except he didn't technically find this one, someone sent it to him.
Thought you might be interested in this
He doesn't recognise the email address. It could be a spammer; that subject line is generic enough. Stiles doesn't open spam mails because he's not stupid, but the ones he's previewed or opened by accident have links, and not usually single images.
The options as Stiles sees it are:
a) Random spam
b) A misdirected email
c) Someone has noticed him looking at Derek and taken pity on him with a lookalike image
d) Someone has noticed him looking at Derek and sent him an actual picture of Derek
e) Derek is secretly a model or a porn star with the hots for Stiles, and he sent the pic himself
f) The Porn Fairy is real.
And he knows, really, that a) or b) are by far the most likely. He's not the most subtle of guys either (according to oh, everyone) so c) is a possibility, and it needn't even just be one of the werewolves. If d) is edging a toe into delusional territory, then e) is streaking across the border painted blue screaming 'Take me, take me!', and even Stiles doesn't really believe in the Porn Fairy, though it will be his go to explanation for this picture if Scott ever finds it.
Faerie lascivus
An adaptable creature, this species of fairy has abandoned the hedgerows of yesteryear and embraced the internet as its new habitat. Specialises in providing exactly what the seeker of online erotica is looking for: whether out of altruism or to drive the seeker insane with lust is currently unknown.
Ten minutes hunched over his keyboard and half the supernatural creature wikis out there have an entry on it, because Stiles knows how to plan ahead. Scott might be easily distracted, but he's not stupid. It would have been five minutes, but Stiles is also easily distracted, and that picture, that photograph, is all but burning a hole in his screen.
The guy has a mole or something on his shoulder, and he's sure he saw one exactly the same on Derek on one of the many occasions he's been forced - ha! - to take off his shirt. And yes, that could totally be wishful thinking, and it probably is, but it's enough for Stiles's libido to throw off its clothes and make a grab for the blue paint, and he is so screwed. He's never going to be able to look Derek in the eye (or the arm) ever again.
“Fuck,” Stiles groans, not just because he has his hand on his dick now, slick and fast with an edge of desperation, but because what if there are more pictures out there? What if the guy has done porn; real porn, rather than just some 'artistic' photos. There could be anything out there, anything at all. It's not impossible he could track something down: it looks like a vaguely professional photoshoot of some sort. He could google the file name, maybe, and if there was a name attached, somewhere, anywhere, he could, he could-
He clenches his eyes shut as he comes, sticky all over his fist. When he opens them, he has a little more clarity.
More than likely, he would find out it wasn't Derek. It would almost certainly turn out to be some ordinary guy that Stiles had never met, would never meet, would never want to meet.
It's an effort, because Stiles never turns down the chance to research anything. But he's going to. He's going to log out, burrow into his bed like it's hibernation season, and jerk off all over again thinking about that picture and all the completely theoretical others that are out there, the reams of evidence of Derek Hale's glittering porn career.
That way, he'll never know that it didn't happen.
Title: F. Lascivus
Rating: PG-13 (see warnings)
Pairing/s: Stiles/Derek (references only, Derek doesn't appear - or does he?)
Character/s: Stiles Stilinski
Summary: Stiles receives a surprise gift from the Porn Fairy.
Warnings: Contains swearing, and references to nudity, porn and masturbation. I can amend the rating if necessary, but I'm used to HP fandom which tends to rate lower than many.
Word Count: 940
Prompt: 02 - photographs
Author's Notes: Here's me, bringing down the tone of the neighbourhood again ;-)
It's almost 2am when the email arrives, and Stiles is moments away from flopping face down on his bed. He should leave it till tomorrow, get some sleep while he feels like he could, while his brain is in quiet mode for once.
On the other hand, how long can it take to read one email?
Especially when it consists of just seven words and one picture. One photograph. Thought you might be interested in this it says on the subject line, and that's it. And Holy God, is he ever interested. It's a simple image, black and white. A man, naked under water of some kind, a large shower or something, whatever they use for this kind of shot. His head is tilted back, dark hair dripping, mouth teasing at the spray of water.
Stiles has been using the internet unrestricted for roughly two thirds of his short life, though he'll deny it if asked by anyone who might have reason to give him hassle about it. He's seen more naked bodies than he can count, including plenty of hot, muscled men dripping with water, and plenty that don't cut off barely past the treasure trail, which should be a crime with this guy's body. It should be seen, and seen all the time, in all its naked glory.
It's just-
It's just that if you squint, and allow for the wetness of the hair and the scrunched up expression, and the way you don't get a full view of his face, then it looks maybe a little bit like Derek. Or even a lot like him.
It's not, of course. Stiles knows that. What are the chances of finding naked pictures of someone you know on the internet- tiny, probably. Except he didn't technically find this one, someone sent it to him.
Thought you might be interested in this
He doesn't recognise the email address. It could be a spammer; that subject line is generic enough. Stiles doesn't open spam mails because he's not stupid, but the ones he's previewed or opened by accident have links, and not usually single images.
The options as Stiles sees it are:
a) Random spam
b) A misdirected email
c) Someone has noticed him looking at Derek and taken pity on him with a lookalike image
d) Someone has noticed him looking at Derek and sent him an actual picture of Derek
e) Derek is secretly a model or a porn star with the hots for Stiles, and he sent the pic himself
f) The Porn Fairy is real.
And he knows, really, that a) or b) are by far the most likely. He's not the most subtle of guys either (according to oh, everyone) so c) is a possibility, and it needn't even just be one of the werewolves. If d) is edging a toe into delusional territory, then e) is streaking across the border painted blue screaming 'Take me, take me!', and even Stiles doesn't really believe in the Porn Fairy, though it will be his go to explanation for this picture if Scott ever finds it.
Faerie lascivus
An adaptable creature, this species of fairy has abandoned the hedgerows of yesteryear and embraced the internet as its new habitat. Specialises in providing exactly what the seeker of online erotica is looking for: whether out of altruism or to drive the seeker insane with lust is currently unknown.
Ten minutes hunched over his keyboard and half the supernatural creature wikis out there have an entry on it, because Stiles knows how to plan ahead. Scott might be easily distracted, but he's not stupid. It would have been five minutes, but Stiles is also easily distracted, and that picture, that photograph, is all but burning a hole in his screen.
The guy has a mole or something on his shoulder, and he's sure he saw one exactly the same on Derek on one of the many occasions he's been forced - ha! - to take off his shirt. And yes, that could totally be wishful thinking, and it probably is, but it's enough for Stiles's libido to throw off its clothes and make a grab for the blue paint, and he is so screwed. He's never going to be able to look Derek in the eye (or the arm) ever again.
“Fuck,” Stiles groans, not just because he has his hand on his dick now, slick and fast with an edge of desperation, but because what if there are more pictures out there? What if the guy has done porn; real porn, rather than just some 'artistic' photos. There could be anything out there, anything at all. It's not impossible he could track something down: it looks like a vaguely professional photoshoot of some sort. He could google the file name, maybe, and if there was a name attached, somewhere, anywhere, he could, he could-
He clenches his eyes shut as he comes, sticky all over his fist. When he opens them, he has a little more clarity.
More than likely, he would find out it wasn't Derek. It would almost certainly turn out to be some ordinary guy that Stiles had never met, would never meet, would never want to meet.
It's an effort, because Stiles never turns down the chance to research anything. But he's going to. He's going to log out, burrow into his bed like it's hibernation season, and jerk off all over again thinking about that picture and all the completely theoretical others that are out there, the reams of evidence of Derek Hale's glittering porn career.
That way, he'll never know that it didn't happen.