Ficlet: We're Dating...Right? Derek/Stiles, Rated R
Author: ladyoneill
Title: We're Dating...Right?
Rating: R
Pairing/s: Derek/Stiles
Character/s: Derek, Stiles, Lydia, Scott, Pack
Summary: Stiles changes his Facebook relationship status and the Pack thinks it's a joke, a bad one, because Derek is going to kill him now.
Warnings: underage, also mentions of Peter/Lydia
Word Count: 1039, went a bit over but I really couldn't cut it
Prompt: Facebook
Author's Notes: Stiles and Derek, the Pack, Teen Wolf, none belong to me. No profit being made. Look, I wrote humor! Also, I don't use Facebook so I probably am portraying things wrong. Yeah, I know, I'm a dinosaur. I still handcode my website.
Stiles was standing at his open locker deciding if he wanted to take home his history book or not when Scott skidded up to him, panic on his face.
Hunters? Evil werewolves? Evil witches? Evil anything? Before he could ask, Scott hissed, "Why does your Facebook status say you're in a relationship with Derek Hale? It's a bad joke, right? Dude you gotta change it before he kills you!"
Huh?
"Derek and I are dating."
Wasn't that obvious? Outside of school and the occasional meal with his dad, they spent every waking minute together and, since Derek got over his 'you're too young, Stiles' issue, a lot of the sleeping ones, too, and the fun ones that involved beds but not sleeping.
"Yeah, right," Scott scoffed, then caught Allison's scent or something and sprinted away with a "Fix it!," thrown over his shoulder.
Stiles frowned and decided history could lump it. Slamming his locker shut he headed to his jeep only to be accosted by the three amigos.
"Really, Stiles? That's kind of pathetic." Erica smirked.
Boyd shook his head stoically.
Isaac at least tried to look and sound sympathetic. "I mean, we all know you like him, but he's Derek. He doesn't date anyone."
"Oh, and it's obvious if he did it wouldn't be me, right?'' Now he was getting pissed.
"No, no, that's not what I'm saying."
Except, of course, it was.
Pushing past them, he stomped to his jeep and headed home just slightly above the speed limit, cursing doltish high school werewolves under his breath and beginning to regret updating Facebook over lunch. It's just...he'd never been in a relationship. His status had always been desperately single. He wanted to proclaim it to the world.
And, he could to get a guy like Derek, because he had, so there.
Lydia was sitting on his front steps doing her math homework, or math for her Ph.D., he never could figure it out.
Slumping down beside her, he ducked his head and wrapped his hands around the back of his neck, whining pathetically, "Let me have it."
"Why did you wait till now? You've been screwing him for nearly a month."
He gaped at her and she smiled evilly. "How come you know and none of the werewolves with this big noses know?"
"Peter knows. He told me, but I was pretty close to figuring it out anyway."
"I hate Peter," he muttered and she snorted. Even her snorts were attractive. "Okay, so how do I make it more obvious?"
"Maybe actually go on a date? Peter says all you do is stay in, order bad food, watch bad movies, and fuck."
"That's dating!"
"No, I'm pretty sure that's married life." With another smirk and a pat on his head, she rose and flounced to her car. "Even Peter and I make it out of the bedroom once in awhile."
"Yeah, and everyone thinks he's your dad when you're on a date," he shot back, while mentally ewwing, but there was no heat to his comment and she just laughed.
After she drove off, he started overthinking everything--a bad habit of his. Maybe he and Derek weren't dating or in a relationship. Maybe they were friends with benefits or just fucking around or he was being used for his DVD collection and his research skills or...
Finally too frustrated he headed to Derek's loft.
A puzzled look on his face, Derek opened the door. "I thought you were coming over after dinner." He was shirtless. What a surprise.
Stiles pushed past him, arms already flailing. "What is this between us? Are we dating? Are we just friends who fuck? What?"
"Is this about the Facebook thing?"
"You don't even use Facebook, how'd you know?"
"Peter."
"Fuck, I hate that guy."
Derek grunted, might have been a laugh, it was hard to tell, and followed Stiles over to where he'd flopped on his couch, phone out to check his Facebook. There were several disbelieving comments from his so-called friends, one snarky one from Peter--how the Hell did he get access?--and Scott again worried that Derek would rip his throat out with his teeth if he didn't drop the joke.
Tossing his phone onto the table next to him, he thunked his head back against the cushions and pouted.
"If I could remember my password, I'd change my relationship status to dating you," Derek said quietly.
Stiles stopped pouting and smiled brilliantly. Launching himself onto the Alpha's lap, he peppered his face with kisses but, before they moved things to the bedroom, or the floor, or against the nearest wall, or just stayed here on the couch but much more naked, he said, "I was...well, not afraid, but I just wondered if maybe you didn't want anyone to know."
"I figured everyone did know. Most of the people in my life are werewolves."
"I think their noses must be broken or we're overly showering. Also, Lydia says it would help if we actually went out on a date."
Derek's look was perplexed enough to make Stiles sigh and sit back to stare down at him. "Why? We eat, we watch movies, we fuck. That's a date."
"Out in public."
"Where your dad can arrest me. No, make that shoot me."
Rolling his eyes, Stiles said, "He wouldn't shoot you."
"You didn't deny he'd arrest me." His eyebrows were doing that 'I need to run away' thing, and Stiles kissed him again until they both relaxed.
"We could go on dates out of town."
"This is important to you?"
As Derek seemed to be taking this seriously, Stiles nodded, but also added, "But, mostly I want the Pack to know we're together because they're pissing me off."
Derek sighed like it was the end of the world, but conceded. "Fine.
Stiles smiled brilliantly and slid to his knees to do that thing with his mouth Derek liked so much.
And, at the next pack meeting, Derek kissed the stuffing out of Stiles in front of everyone. They took it with varying degrees of confusion and then shrugging acceptance.
Except for Peter and Lydia who didn't care.
And Scott who just started begging to go blind.
End
Title: We're Dating...Right?
Rating: R
Pairing/s: Derek/Stiles
Character/s: Derek, Stiles, Lydia, Scott, Pack
Summary: Stiles changes his Facebook relationship status and the Pack thinks it's a joke, a bad one, because Derek is going to kill him now.
Warnings: underage, also mentions of Peter/Lydia
Word Count: 1039, went a bit over but I really couldn't cut it
Prompt: Facebook
Author's Notes: Stiles and Derek, the Pack, Teen Wolf, none belong to me. No profit being made. Look, I wrote humor! Also, I don't use Facebook so I probably am portraying things wrong. Yeah, I know, I'm a dinosaur. I still handcode my website.
Stiles was standing at his open locker deciding if he wanted to take home his history book or not when Scott skidded up to him, panic on his face.
Hunters? Evil werewolves? Evil witches? Evil anything? Before he could ask, Scott hissed, "Why does your Facebook status say you're in a relationship with Derek Hale? It's a bad joke, right? Dude you gotta change it before he kills you!"
Huh?
"Derek and I are dating."
Wasn't that obvious? Outside of school and the occasional meal with his dad, they spent every waking minute together and, since Derek got over his 'you're too young, Stiles' issue, a lot of the sleeping ones, too, and the fun ones that involved beds but not sleeping.
"Yeah, right," Scott scoffed, then caught Allison's scent or something and sprinted away with a "Fix it!," thrown over his shoulder.
Stiles frowned and decided history could lump it. Slamming his locker shut he headed to his jeep only to be accosted by the three amigos.
"Really, Stiles? That's kind of pathetic." Erica smirked.
Boyd shook his head stoically.
Isaac at least tried to look and sound sympathetic. "I mean, we all know you like him, but he's Derek. He doesn't date anyone."
"Oh, and it's obvious if he did it wouldn't be me, right?'' Now he was getting pissed.
"No, no, that's not what I'm saying."
Except, of course, it was.
Pushing past them, he stomped to his jeep and headed home just slightly above the speed limit, cursing doltish high school werewolves under his breath and beginning to regret updating Facebook over lunch. It's just...he'd never been in a relationship. His status had always been desperately single. He wanted to proclaim it to the world.
And, he could to get a guy like Derek, because he had, so there.
Lydia was sitting on his front steps doing her math homework, or math for her Ph.D., he never could figure it out.
Slumping down beside her, he ducked his head and wrapped his hands around the back of his neck, whining pathetically, "Let me have it."
"Why did you wait till now? You've been screwing him for nearly a month."
He gaped at her and she smiled evilly. "How come you know and none of the werewolves with this big noses know?"
"Peter knows. He told me, but I was pretty close to figuring it out anyway."
"I hate Peter," he muttered and she snorted. Even her snorts were attractive. "Okay, so how do I make it more obvious?"
"Maybe actually go on a date? Peter says all you do is stay in, order bad food, watch bad movies, and fuck."
"That's dating!"
"No, I'm pretty sure that's married life." With another smirk and a pat on his head, she rose and flounced to her car. "Even Peter and I make it out of the bedroom once in awhile."
"Yeah, and everyone thinks he's your dad when you're on a date," he shot back, while mentally ewwing, but there was no heat to his comment and she just laughed.
After she drove off, he started overthinking everything--a bad habit of his. Maybe he and Derek weren't dating or in a relationship. Maybe they were friends with benefits or just fucking around or he was being used for his DVD collection and his research skills or...
Finally too frustrated he headed to Derek's loft.
A puzzled look on his face, Derek opened the door. "I thought you were coming over after dinner." He was shirtless. What a surprise.
Stiles pushed past him, arms already flailing. "What is this between us? Are we dating? Are we just friends who fuck? What?"
"Is this about the Facebook thing?"
"You don't even use Facebook, how'd you know?"
"Peter."
"Fuck, I hate that guy."
Derek grunted, might have been a laugh, it was hard to tell, and followed Stiles over to where he'd flopped on his couch, phone out to check his Facebook. There were several disbelieving comments from his so-called friends, one snarky one from Peter--how the Hell did he get access?--and Scott again worried that Derek would rip his throat out with his teeth if he didn't drop the joke.
Tossing his phone onto the table next to him, he thunked his head back against the cushions and pouted.
"If I could remember my password, I'd change my relationship status to dating you," Derek said quietly.
Stiles stopped pouting and smiled brilliantly. Launching himself onto the Alpha's lap, he peppered his face with kisses but, before they moved things to the bedroom, or the floor, or against the nearest wall, or just stayed here on the couch but much more naked, he said, "I was...well, not afraid, but I just wondered if maybe you didn't want anyone to know."
"I figured everyone did know. Most of the people in my life are werewolves."
"I think their noses must be broken or we're overly showering. Also, Lydia says it would help if we actually went out on a date."
Derek's look was perplexed enough to make Stiles sigh and sit back to stare down at him. "Why? We eat, we watch movies, we fuck. That's a date."
"Out in public."
"Where your dad can arrest me. No, make that shoot me."
Rolling his eyes, Stiles said, "He wouldn't shoot you."
"You didn't deny he'd arrest me." His eyebrows were doing that 'I need to run away' thing, and Stiles kissed him again until they both relaxed.
"We could go on dates out of town."
"This is important to you?"
As Derek seemed to be taking this seriously, Stiles nodded, but also added, "But, mostly I want the Pack to know we're together because they're pissing me off."
Derek sighed like it was the end of the world, but conceded. "Fine.
Stiles smiled brilliantly and slid to his knees to do that thing with his mouth Derek liked so much.
And, at the next pack meeting, Derek kissed the stuffing out of Stiles in front of everyone. They took it with varying degrees of confusion and then shrugging acceptance.
Except for Peter and Lydia who didn't care.
And Scott who just started begging to go blind.
End