Ficlet: a chance for complication
Author: tryslora
Title: a chance for complication
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: Jackson/Ethan, Poly Pack
Character/s: Jackson, Ethan, Stiles, Lydia, Derek, Parrish
Summary: Jackson loves Ethan. The problem is, Ethan isn’t the only one he loves, and he has no idea how to explain this.
Warnings: n/a
Content Notes: poly pack, poly negotiation, angst
Submission Type: ficlet
Word Count: ~1k
Prompt: #246 - feelings
Author's Notes: I just love the idea that part of Jackson’s bisexual reveal was the realization that he was as interested in Stiles as Lydia, and that he needs so much to keep himself stable and that there’s this whole poly pack opportunity building.
Feelings are overrated. Complicated, messy things that cause miscommunication and pain. It was easier when Jackson could pretend to ignore his.
“You’re thinking loudly enough that I feel like I should be able to hear you,” Ethan says dryly, chin resting on Jackson’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around him from behind. “Are we going to talk about it?”
“About what?” Jackson says.
Ethan snorts in his ear, kisses his earlobe, and Jackson responds by turning his head to meet his lips.
“It doesn’t get you out of answering,” Ethan says, once the kiss breaks.
Jackson grumbles. “You don’t want me to answer,” he finally says. “Trust me, you really don’t want me to answer.”
“Why, because it’s about Lydia?” Ethan says. “I’m not blind, Jackson. Or is it about Stiles? Or maybe it’s about Parrish, or Derek, or that really complicated shit in your head about Scott that I don’t even know how to unravel.”
Jackson pulls away, gaze narrowing. “Have you been talking to Lydia?”
“She’s a font of knowledge,” Ethan admits.
“That sounds more like Stiles.”
“He recommended it.”
Jackson pulls back slowly, not wanting to know what else they’ve said to Ethan. How far into his psyche Lydia delved, and what things Ethan might see now that Jackson doesn’t necessarily want him to. He walks away, heads for the big windows that line one side of their flat, and leans on the ledge, looking out.
Ethan lays a hand on his back, firm between the shoulder blades. “I’m not angry at you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I knew you still loved Lydia before we ever went back to Beacon Hills. You don’t hide your feelings as well as you think you do.”
“I’m with you,” Jackson says firmly, and Ethan presses just a little harder in response.
“I know.” Ethan turns Jackson so he can look him in the eye, hands on his shoulders. “I know, Jackson. I love you. We’ve been together for two years, and we have an actual adult relationship. We have a flat in London, we’re pulling together a pack from lost wolves. There is a cat hiding in this flat somewhere pretending that she hates us until it’s time for us to sleep, and then she’ll snuggle you so hard you can’t breathe.”
“She likes you,” Jackson says.
“She tolerates me,” Ethan counters. “She adores you. But like you said, you’re everyone’s type.” He touches a finger to Jackson’s lips. “I’m still talking. Hush.”
Jackson could nip at him, could tug Ethan close and turn the conversation into something else. He could reroute this and avoid all talk about feelings.
He doesn’t.
“I love you,” Ethan says quietly, finger pressing against Jackson’s lips to say stay silent. “And I know you love me; you’re with me, here. But I know that you’re going nuts because you’re on the other side of the world from Lydia and Stiles, and that the fact that they broke up is driving you mad wanting to know what’s going on. I know you want to take care of them, that they’re family. Maybe something more. I know you still think about Derek; I’m not an idiot, and I pay more attention than you think. I was an omega, Jackson. I had to pay attention inside my own pack if I wanted to stay alive, once upon a time. And I’m pretty sure that if any one of them asked you to bed, you’d be right there, wanting it. Am I right?”
“No.” Jackson wraps his hand around Ethan’s finger and lowers it. “Yes, I’d want to be in their bed, but that’s not it.”
“You want them all to love you as much as I do,” Ethan says.
Yeah, that’s it. That’s exactly it.
Jackson wants his pack, and he wants to be at the center of it. He wants to know that they’re safe, that they’re happy. But he wants to know that they love him and would take care of him, in any way that he needs.
He wants the complication of his pack being his relationship, of knowing that he can turn to any one of them and these damned feelings would be returned in full.
He licks his lips, lowers his gaze in clear submission.
“You’re not going to get that from Scott,” Ethan says quietly. “It’s not in his nature. The funny thing is, I bet you could get it from Malia, except she’s with Scott, and she wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. In fact, she’d protect him with her life. But Lydia? Stiles? Derek? They’re all flexible.”
Jackson doesn’t know what to do with that information. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“We’re talking about this,” Ethan says. He brings his hands up to frame Jackson’s face. “I love you, you idiot. If having an unconventional pack that loves you, too, helps you? I’m in for that. Besides-” He cuts off until Jackson growls, and Ethan laughs at his impatience. “Besides. Stiles and Lydia broke up, but only sort of. Lydia said his pining for Derek-and Derek’s for him-was painful to watch, and they should fuck it out of their systems. Stiles told her to deal with Parrish, and now the four of them… they have an arrangement.”
That makes Jackson feel worse. “Nice for them,” he mutters.
At the rap on the door, Jackson’s gaze narrows. He turns to stalk over, stops when Ethan grips his wrist tightly.
“We could all have an arrangement,” Ethan says, voice low. “Don’t bottle it up, Jackson. Talk about your feelings. Because when you open that door, every chance is right there, waiting for you to take it.”
Jackson can’t breathe.
He hurries over, yanks open the door. Lydia throws her arms around his neck. She barely finishes kissing him before Stiles begins.
His heart races, and Derek smirks at him while Parrish walks into the apartment.
This is his chance for everything.
Jackson looks at Ethan, whispers, “I love you,” and smiles when Stiles is the one to reply with I know.
Title: a chance for complication
Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: Jackson/Ethan, Poly Pack
Character/s: Jackson, Ethan, Stiles, Lydia, Derek, Parrish
Summary: Jackson loves Ethan. The problem is, Ethan isn’t the only one he loves, and he has no idea how to explain this.
Warnings: n/a
Content Notes: poly pack, poly negotiation, angst
Submission Type: ficlet
Word Count: ~1k
Prompt: #246 - feelings
Author's Notes: I just love the idea that part of Jackson’s bisexual reveal was the realization that he was as interested in Stiles as Lydia, and that he needs so much to keep himself stable and that there’s this whole poly pack opportunity building.
Feelings are overrated. Complicated, messy things that cause miscommunication and pain. It was easier when Jackson could pretend to ignore his.
“You’re thinking loudly enough that I feel like I should be able to hear you,” Ethan says dryly, chin resting on Jackson’s shoulder as he wraps his arms around him from behind. “Are we going to talk about it?”
“About what?” Jackson says.
Ethan snorts in his ear, kisses his earlobe, and Jackson responds by turning his head to meet his lips.
“It doesn’t get you out of answering,” Ethan says, once the kiss breaks.
Jackson grumbles. “You don’t want me to answer,” he finally says. “Trust me, you really don’t want me to answer.”
“Why, because it’s about Lydia?” Ethan says. “I’m not blind, Jackson. Or is it about Stiles? Or maybe it’s about Parrish, or Derek, or that really complicated shit in your head about Scott that I don’t even know how to unravel.”
Jackson pulls away, gaze narrowing. “Have you been talking to Lydia?”
“She’s a font of knowledge,” Ethan admits.
“That sounds more like Stiles.”
“He recommended it.”
Jackson pulls back slowly, not wanting to know what else they’ve said to Ethan. How far into his psyche Lydia delved, and what things Ethan might see now that Jackson doesn’t necessarily want him to. He walks away, heads for the big windows that line one side of their flat, and leans on the ledge, looking out.
Ethan lays a hand on his back, firm between the shoulder blades. “I’m not angry at you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I knew you still loved Lydia before we ever went back to Beacon Hills. You don’t hide your feelings as well as you think you do.”
“I’m with you,” Jackson says firmly, and Ethan presses just a little harder in response.
“I know.” Ethan turns Jackson so he can look him in the eye, hands on his shoulders. “I know, Jackson. I love you. We’ve been together for two years, and we have an actual adult relationship. We have a flat in London, we’re pulling together a pack from lost wolves. There is a cat hiding in this flat somewhere pretending that she hates us until it’s time for us to sleep, and then she’ll snuggle you so hard you can’t breathe.”
“She likes you,” Jackson says.
“She tolerates me,” Ethan counters. “She adores you. But like you said, you’re everyone’s type.” He touches a finger to Jackson’s lips. “I’m still talking. Hush.”
Jackson could nip at him, could tug Ethan close and turn the conversation into something else. He could reroute this and avoid all talk about feelings.
He doesn’t.
“I love you,” Ethan says quietly, finger pressing against Jackson’s lips to say stay silent. “And I know you love me; you’re with me, here. But I know that you’re going nuts because you’re on the other side of the world from Lydia and Stiles, and that the fact that they broke up is driving you mad wanting to know what’s going on. I know you want to take care of them, that they’re family. Maybe something more. I know you still think about Derek; I’m not an idiot, and I pay more attention than you think. I was an omega, Jackson. I had to pay attention inside my own pack if I wanted to stay alive, once upon a time. And I’m pretty sure that if any one of them asked you to bed, you’d be right there, wanting it. Am I right?”
“No.” Jackson wraps his hand around Ethan’s finger and lowers it. “Yes, I’d want to be in their bed, but that’s not it.”
“You want them all to love you as much as I do,” Ethan says.
Yeah, that’s it. That’s exactly it.
Jackson wants his pack, and he wants to be at the center of it. He wants to know that they’re safe, that they’re happy. But he wants to know that they love him and would take care of him, in any way that he needs.
He wants the complication of his pack being his relationship, of knowing that he can turn to any one of them and these damned feelings would be returned in full.
He licks his lips, lowers his gaze in clear submission.
“You’re not going to get that from Scott,” Ethan says quietly. “It’s not in his nature. The funny thing is, I bet you could get it from Malia, except she’s with Scott, and she wouldn’t do anything to hurt him. In fact, she’d protect him with her life. But Lydia? Stiles? Derek? They’re all flexible.”
Jackson doesn’t know what to do with that information. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“We’re talking about this,” Ethan says. He brings his hands up to frame Jackson’s face. “I love you, you idiot. If having an unconventional pack that loves you, too, helps you? I’m in for that. Besides-” He cuts off until Jackson growls, and Ethan laughs at his impatience. “Besides. Stiles and Lydia broke up, but only sort of. Lydia said his pining for Derek-and Derek’s for him-was painful to watch, and they should fuck it out of their systems. Stiles told her to deal with Parrish, and now the four of them… they have an arrangement.”
That makes Jackson feel worse. “Nice for them,” he mutters.
At the rap on the door, Jackson’s gaze narrows. He turns to stalk over, stops when Ethan grips his wrist tightly.
“We could all have an arrangement,” Ethan says, voice low. “Don’t bottle it up, Jackson. Talk about your feelings. Because when you open that door, every chance is right there, waiting for you to take it.”
Jackson can’t breathe.
He hurries over, yanks open the door. Lydia throws her arms around his neck. She barely finishes kissing him before Stiles begins.
His heart races, and Derek smirks at him while Parrish walks into the apartment.
This is his chance for everything.
Jackson looks at Ethan, whispers, “I love you,” and smiles when Stiles is the one to reply with I know.