Author:
froggydarrenTitle: nod if you can hear me
Rating: PG
Pairing/s: Derek/Stiles
Character/s: Derek, Stiles
Summary: His mind spins, twists, runs, circles, yells at him from a million different directions. It’s loud inside his head when he doesn’t talk, it’s a stream of ideas and thoughts, plans and solutions, of everything trying to get the limelight all at once. So he talks.
Warnings: n/a
Content Notes: Two-parter: Derek POV first, then Stiles POV.
Submission Type: ficlet
Word Count: 722
Prompt: #218 - loud
Author's Notes: This is very thinky and introspective and possibly rambly. But it is what it is. Unbetaed.
It’s one of the obvious things that Derek knows is on most people’s minds when they see or think of Stiles. The one thing he used to jump to for years, the main trait that would seem defining.
Stiles is loud.
He heard people say it so many times, he thought it himself. There’s no doubt that Stiles knows that others see him that way. And Derek wonders if he’s bothered by it at all. If he cares that noise is what people see, before they see Stiles as a person.
Because Derek knows now -- even though it took some time -- that there was way more to Stiles than just the incessant rambling, the constant stream of unfiltered thoughts coming out of his mouth. Sure, some of it was pointless, some of it was just filling out silences and lulls in conversation. But a lot of it was important, smart.
Everyone knew that Stiles was the mind behind the pack’s plans. They knew he was intelligent, that he was quick thinking on his feet. Yet when Stiles started talking, Derek often noticed people around him zoning out, stop listening until someone who was paying attention parses Stiles’ words into the highlights version only.
Back when things in town were at the height of “how in the world did no one realise that we’re living on top of a Hellmouth”, Derek had understood that. He did the same - tuned out when Stiles started rambling, stayed away unless it was absolutely necessary. For years, he saw Stiles’ talking as a nuisance, a disruption, as something that he didn’t want to deal with.
Then there was the time after Stiles left town for college. For everyone who stayed behind, it was when they realised that Beacon Hills suddenly got ridiculously quiet, to the point where they started missing the talking, the unavoidable presence of Stiles.
For Derek, who happened to be on the east coast, and who happened to run into Stiles in Washington, it was a different time. He had some time to learn to exist without the pack around him. He learned how to be alone but not feel like he’s battling the whole world. And just when he was settling into being comfortable alone, he ran into Stiles, and all the comfort got thrown out of the window.
Because the Stiles whom Derek met wasn’t as loud as he used to be. Not at first. It took almost the entire course of Stiles’ studies to coax that out of him again, to make him be himself, rambling and all. Derek got to know a quiet Stiles, and it was how he realised that the talking, the being everywhere, was part of what made Derek fall for Stiles in the first place, way back when he didn’t allow himself to see it.
Stiles is loud again now. And Derek loves that about him as much as he loves everything else.
He knows how he comes across. He knows he talks more than is necessary. He is painfully aware of how many people he’s annoyed with rambling wrapped around important information.
But the thing is, he can’t stop. He can’t sit and be quiet, because when he does that, everything else inside his head takes focus. His mind spins, twists, runs, circles, yells at him from a million different directions. It’s loud inside his head when he doesn’t talk, it’s a stream of ideas and thoughts, plans and solutions, of everything trying to get the limelight all at once. So he talks.
He didn’t, for a while, drew back just to stop people he just met from running away.
Stiles never thought he’d find someone who’d understand, not in real life, not someone who would get him and would get everything that’s a part of his life in the same way.
Turns out that he didn’t need to look all that far. Because even though it took some time to figure it out, Derek has always been there. It took meeting when Stiles was deliberately holding back for Derek to see that the rambling was something he’d missed. And it took time after that for Stiles to learn that talking to filter out the noise in his head was not something he had to unlearn.
When he talks now, Derek listens. He always did.