Fic: If Anybody Is Breaking Something Here, That's Gonna Be Me
Author: on_the_ground
Title: If Anybody Is Breaking Something Here, That's Gonna Be Me
Rating: G
Pairing/s: Stiles/Jackson
Character/s: Stiles, Jackson
Summary: When Stiles starts avoiding Jackson, Jackson needs to find out what is going on.
Content Notes: Angst, Fluff, Nobody is dead, future fic.
Warnings: None
Submission Type: Fic
Word Count: 2410 words
Prompt: #37 - Home, #83 - Future, #145 - Truth, #199 - Sheriff Stilinski, #205 - Amnesty
Author's Notes: Posting this today since I'm travelling on Thursday. It's a flashback, so it works as a standalone and you don't need to have read more chapters to follow the story. This is one of my favorite chapters. This will be part of my series "All I Saw Was You.".
Where are you? Are you avoiding me?
Stiles looks at the text and bites his lip.
I'm at home. Stiles finally replies.
I'm coming over, Jackson says right away.
OK, Stiles says.
Ten minutes later, Stiles can see Jackson parking the Porsche in front of his house.
"Hi," Jackson says when the sheriff opens the door.
"Hi, he's upstairs," the sheriff replies as he looks at Jackson and frowns because not that his son's boyfriend is usually the face of happiness, but he knows him well enough by now to know that there's something weird going on between him and his son.
"Thanks," Jackson says as he walks towards the stairs.
"Is something wrong?" The sheriff asks unsure.
Jackson snorts. "That's what I'd like to find out." Jackson says simply before going up the stairs.
He usually knocks but he knows Stiles has heard him downstairs, so he just opens the door and finds Stiles at his desk looking at his laptop.
"Hey," Jackson says.
"Hey," Stiles continues typing something.
"So, can we talk?"
"Yeah, wait a minute." Stiles says without taking his eyes from the screen.
"Okay." Jackson sits with resignation on the bed and after a minute he lies down on it.
"Done," Stiles announces after what feels like too long too Jackson. "We can talk."
"Thank you, your majesty," Jackson says with irony looking at the ceiling.
Stiles just rolls his eyes dramatically.
"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Jackson sits straight looking at Stiles. "And don't play dumb with me because you know what I'm talking about. You didn't come to the meeting and you didn't come to Danny's birthday party the other night. Even the pack knows that you've been avoiding me... Can you imagine how I felt when they asked me where you were and I couldn't give them an answer? Because stupid doesn't even begin to describe it..."
Stiles sighs. "Fine. Yeah, I've been avoiding you. I'm sorry if they asked you..." Stiles looks away from Jackson's eyes.
"And why? What's going on?" Jackson raises his eyebrows and waves his arms obviously confused.
"Because..." Stiles avoids Jackson's eyes looking at the window instead. "Well, because we need to break up, okay? And I didn't know how to say it... I have zero experience breaking up with someone... I thought about texting you for a second but I imagined that you'd probably want to kill me with your teeth which is not something appealing, you know? But since you are here and you're asking me--" Stiles waves his right arm.
"Break up?" Jackson interrupts him. "Are you really breaking up with me?" Jackson feels like his head is about to explode with shock and confusion.
"I guess I am. Yeah." Stiles bites his lips.
"Did you..." Jackson hesitates. "I mean, did you meet anybody else?" Jackson has no idea when that could have happened but it's the first thought he has because he can't think of anything else... it's not like if he fucked up recently.
"What? No! Of course not." Stiles says surprised. "Why would you say that?" Stiles waves his arms.
"Because you just said you wanted to break up, obviously." Jackson says matter-of-factly.
"And you think there's a queue of guys waiting to take your place..." Stiles says with disbelief.
"I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything. But of course, it's a possibility, why shouldn't it be?" Jackson waves his right arm.
Stiles would smile at that if he wasn't trying to go through with his decision.
"Well, there's no-one, okay? But we have to be realistic. You're leaving next month for a ton of years and I'm staying here, so it's like we don't make sense anymore if it's gonna be over soon, you know? What's the point?" Stiles shrugs.
"What's the point?" Jackson frowns "Are kidding me? You didn't just say that."
"I'm totally serious."
"I can see that. That's what worries me." Jackson gets up and starts to walk from one side to the other of the room like he doesn't have enough space to think.
"Is this because you want to be single while I'm not here...?" to be with somebody else, Stiles gets it... "or is it because you think I'll cheat on you... I mean, is that the problem? You just don't trust me?" Jackson asks, looking directly at Stiles's eyes.
"I trust you, okay? That's not... that's not the problem." Stiles shakes his head.
"Then you want to be single? What is it? Because I don't understand it."
"It's not that either. But I think we're too young to be in a long distance relationship for so long. I don't think it would work... or maybe it would work for a few months... maybe a year... but probably it wouldn't longer than that. So, if we're going to break up eventually, we might as well break up now instead of making it more difficult later."
"Oh my god." Jackson smirks. "You've actually rehearsed this shit. I can't believe it." Jackson says, sitting down on the bed again and running his fingers through his hair.
Stiles doesn't deny it which just proves his point and makes Stiles even more uncomfortable.
"Well, everything you just said is shit. Firstly, you don't break up with somebody just because you think you'll be breaking up eventually... if that was the case, nobody would get married in case they got a divorce later. And, secondly, the truth is that you just don't trust me. You think I'm gonna hook up with somebody else and lie to you. You think I'm going to break your heart and you thought hey, I'm not going through that, if anybody is breaking something here, that's gonna be me."
"I didn't think that," Stiles says in a very unconvincing way.
"Werewolf here, remember? Why do you even try?" Jackson shrugs.
"Jackson, just think it over, okay? You have to admit that there's no future for us. This distance thing... it wouldn't work."
"You think I haven't thought about it?" Jackson frowns when he realizes what Stiles had implied. "Because of course, I have."
Stiles seems a little surprised because the truth is that he didn't think that Jackson had given it much thought.
"You didn't say anything..."
"That's because every time I thought about it, I realized that nothing needed to change. And that I didn't want anything to change... and I assumed you didn't want it to either."
"It's not saying that I want things to change. It's that it's going to happen whether we want it or not. It's a fucking lot of time."
"Where did you hear that crap? Many things don't happen if you don't want them to happen. Things that you can control, I mean. Not stuff like accidents or deaths... No, other stuff is up to you. Like the other night at Danny's party, this very hot guy, Jason, wanted to hook up and I told to go find somebody else... because it was up to me... I decided what I wanted to happen."
"Jason?" Stiles knows that guy, he's not spoken to him but he knows he's one of Danny's friends and the guy looks like he lives at the gym. "Really?"
"You can ask Danny." Jackson offers.
Stiles doesn't say anything. He only thinks about the fact that Jason knows about him and Jackson and the asshole simply didn't care at all.
"So yeah, I think I've proved my point."
"Jackson, if that just happened here with someone who knows I exist... who knows we are together... just imagine what is going to happen when you are far from here where nobody has a clue. I don't think you can..." Stiles hesitates.
"What? Resist the temptation?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.
"Well... yeah..." Stiles finally admits. "I don't want you to feel obligated to..." Stiles licks his lips "y'know... stay celibate or whatever... It's college after all. I'm sure there will be lots of hot guys... and girls who will go after you. I'm not stupid... I know it's gonna happen," Stiles says matter-of-factly.
Jackson could tell him again how he knew Stiles was lying before but he's going to save it for another day.
Jackson shakes his head with disbelief once more. "So what if it happens?" Because of course Jackson knows it will. "If you trust me, then you have nothing to worry about. And haven't I proved to you that I want you? That your brain isn't the only thing I'm attracted to?" Jackson sighs. "To be honest I don't know how you can feel so insecure... I thought you were passed that by now." But obviously some things just never go away, not completely.
Stiles isn't sure how to answer that. He trusts Jackson but he still thinks that after some time, Jackson could feel lonely and bored and things could happen. And Stiles couldn't really blame him.
"I could be worried that somebody would want to hook up with you too, you know? But here is the thing... I do trust you and I know you love me. That's why I never thought about bringing this up. I know you aren't that kind of guy... and believe it or not, I'm not either. So, just get all this shit out of your head because there isn't any breaking up happening today or any time soon."
"Jackson, you know that there are few people in this world who are hotter than you are... and they don't live in Beacon Hills, which is where I'm staying, so the fact that you could be remotely worried is actually hilarious. You just can't compare the situation here. And besides, it's not about that. I don't want you to be miserable in college and then blame me for having the most boring experience of your life afterwards."
"Oh my god." Jackson smiles. "First of all, I'm going to college, so that I can get a degree and you know, a future, as they say. I'm not going to a fucking party, okay? I'm going to study. And secondly, you think I need to hook up with somebody so I don't get bored? Do you even listen to yourself? Will you be bored if you don't hook up with someone while I'm gone?"
"Hey, I've been... on my own a lot... a lot longer than you have in your life, that's for sure; so I've got practice. I think I'll be perfectly fine."
"Yeah, but I won't be fine," Jackson says with irony. "Because I need to get laid so I don't get bored. That's what you mean." Jackson licks his lips. "Wow. If that's what you really think... I think we actually have a problem," Jackson says, getting upset.
"That's not what I meant..." Stiles shakes his head.
Jackson snorts. "Of course you did. And I thought you knew me... Because before you, when I was with Lydia for a long time and, despite our problems, I never cheated on her and believe me when I said that it wasn't for the lack of opportunities... but when I'm with someone, I'm with someone. Not to mention the fact that I'm a werewolf now and you have a connection with my wolf that nobody else has. And if you don't know that and you don't trust me... maybe you're right..." There’s a hitch in his breath. "Maybe we shouldn't be together."
Stiles opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Everything that Jackson just said made him realize that he's stupid and he's fucked up.
"Maybe you were right after all." Jackson gets up and he's taken two steps towards the door when Stiles gets up and grabs him from his left arm to stop him.
"Jackson! Wait! Don't go. I fucked up, okay?" Stiles runs his hand along his left arm until it rests on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "I see how you might have felt offended by what I said. But I didn't mean it that way, I swear. You know that sometimes I just say things they way the go through my head and I wish I had a filter for those times... Shit," Stiles shakes his head. "I'm sorry."
"The truth is that when we started going out, I never..." Stiles smiles for a second. "Never in a thousand years I thought we'd be in this situation. I guess I thought you'd get tired of me, or somebody else would get in the way or we'd find out that we didn't have more in common than what happened to us. And I guess that somewhere in the back of my head, I keep thinking the same..." Stiles shrugs. "But you were right before... and I know I don't say it that often... but I love you. I do... and I mean, if you think it can work, if you want to stay together... I trust you and I'll give it a try."
"Stiles, I'm not saying I'm one hundred percent that it's going to work. We're both new at this long distance thing, we've never been apart before, so maybe I'm wrong, maybe we'll fail miserably, but what's the solution? Just break up before that happens? We'll try and we'll see how it goes. There's texting, phone calls, Skype... should I go on? It's not the stone age anymore. We'll be in contact."
"Yeah... I know that." Stiles nods. "I'm also aware that I'm not the most confident person in the world--"
"You think?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.
"Are you making fun of me now?" Stiles smiles even if he's trying not to.
"You're very cute when you apologize. You should do it more often," Jackson smirks.
"Ha ha, don't change the subject."
"There wasn't really a subject anymore. You apologized, admitted that falling in love with me wasn't in your plans and agreed to a long distance thing with an uncertain future." Jackson guides Stiles slowly towards the door with his hands on Stiles's hips until he can feel it against his back. "Now you should just kiss me while I'm still here because a Skype date won't really feel the same way... I assure you of that."
Stiles doesn't really have time to react because as soon as Jackson stops talking, his lips are covered by Jackson's, their hips pressed together, and his mind forgets whatever he wanted to say next.
Title: If Anybody Is Breaking Something Here, That's Gonna Be Me
Rating: G
Pairing/s: Stiles/Jackson
Character/s: Stiles, Jackson
Summary: When Stiles starts avoiding Jackson, Jackson needs to find out what is going on.
Content Notes: Angst, Fluff, Nobody is dead, future fic.
Warnings: None
Submission Type: Fic
Word Count: 2410 words
Prompt: #37 - Home, #83 - Future, #145 - Truth, #199 - Sheriff Stilinski, #205 - Amnesty
Author's Notes: Posting this today since I'm travelling on Thursday. It's a flashback, so it works as a standalone and you don't need to have read more chapters to follow the story. This is one of my favorite chapters. This will be part of my series "All I Saw Was You.".
Where are you? Are you avoiding me?
Stiles looks at the text and bites his lip.
I'm at home. Stiles finally replies.
I'm coming over, Jackson says right away.
OK, Stiles says.
Ten minutes later, Stiles can see Jackson parking the Porsche in front of his house.
"Hi," Jackson says when the sheriff opens the door.
"Hi, he's upstairs," the sheriff replies as he looks at Jackson and frowns because not that his son's boyfriend is usually the face of happiness, but he knows him well enough by now to know that there's something weird going on between him and his son.
"Thanks," Jackson says as he walks towards the stairs.
"Is something wrong?" The sheriff asks unsure.
Jackson snorts. "That's what I'd like to find out." Jackson says simply before going up the stairs.
He usually knocks but he knows Stiles has heard him downstairs, so he just opens the door and finds Stiles at his desk looking at his laptop.
"Hey," Jackson says.
"Hey," Stiles continues typing something.
"So, can we talk?"
"Yeah, wait a minute." Stiles says without taking his eyes from the screen.
"Okay." Jackson sits with resignation on the bed and after a minute he lies down on it.
"Done," Stiles announces after what feels like too long too Jackson. "We can talk."
"Thank you, your majesty," Jackson says with irony looking at the ceiling.
Stiles just rolls his eyes dramatically.
"So, are you going to tell me what's going on?" Jackson sits straight looking at Stiles. "And don't play dumb with me because you know what I'm talking about. You didn't come to the meeting and you didn't come to Danny's birthday party the other night. Even the pack knows that you've been avoiding me... Can you imagine how I felt when they asked me where you were and I couldn't give them an answer? Because stupid doesn't even begin to describe it..."
Stiles sighs. "Fine. Yeah, I've been avoiding you. I'm sorry if they asked you..." Stiles looks away from Jackson's eyes.
"And why? What's going on?" Jackson raises his eyebrows and waves his arms obviously confused.
"Because..." Stiles avoids Jackson's eyes looking at the window instead. "Well, because we need to break up, okay? And I didn't know how to say it... I have zero experience breaking up with someone... I thought about texting you for a second but I imagined that you'd probably want to kill me with your teeth which is not something appealing, you know? But since you are here and you're asking me--" Stiles waves his right arm.
"Break up?" Jackson interrupts him. "Are you really breaking up with me?" Jackson feels like his head is about to explode with shock and confusion.
"I guess I am. Yeah." Stiles bites his lips.
"Did you..." Jackson hesitates. "I mean, did you meet anybody else?" Jackson has no idea when that could have happened but it's the first thought he has because he can't think of anything else... it's not like if he fucked up recently.
"What? No! Of course not." Stiles says surprised. "Why would you say that?" Stiles waves his arms.
"Because you just said you wanted to break up, obviously." Jackson says matter-of-factly.
"And you think there's a queue of guys waiting to take your place..." Stiles says with disbelief.
"I don't know anything because you haven't told me anything. But of course, it's a possibility, why shouldn't it be?" Jackson waves his right arm.
Stiles would smile at that if he wasn't trying to go through with his decision.
"Well, there's no-one, okay? But we have to be realistic. You're leaving next month for a ton of years and I'm staying here, so it's like we don't make sense anymore if it's gonna be over soon, you know? What's the point?" Stiles shrugs.
"What's the point?" Jackson frowns "Are kidding me? You didn't just say that."
"I'm totally serious."
"I can see that. That's what worries me." Jackson gets up and starts to walk from one side to the other of the room like he doesn't have enough space to think.
"Is this because you want to be single while I'm not here...?" to be with somebody else, Stiles gets it... "or is it because you think I'll cheat on you... I mean, is that the problem? You just don't trust me?" Jackson asks, looking directly at Stiles's eyes.
"I trust you, okay? That's not... that's not the problem." Stiles shakes his head.
"Then you want to be single? What is it? Because I don't understand it."
"It's not that either. But I think we're too young to be in a long distance relationship for so long. I don't think it would work... or maybe it would work for a few months... maybe a year... but probably it wouldn't longer than that. So, if we're going to break up eventually, we might as well break up now instead of making it more difficult later."
"Oh my god." Jackson smirks. "You've actually rehearsed this shit. I can't believe it." Jackson says, sitting down on the bed again and running his fingers through his hair.
Stiles doesn't deny it which just proves his point and makes Stiles even more uncomfortable.
"Well, everything you just said is shit. Firstly, you don't break up with somebody just because you think you'll be breaking up eventually... if that was the case, nobody would get married in case they got a divorce later. And, secondly, the truth is that you just don't trust me. You think I'm gonna hook up with somebody else and lie to you. You think I'm going to break your heart and you thought hey, I'm not going through that, if anybody is breaking something here, that's gonna be me."
"I didn't think that," Stiles says in a very unconvincing way.
"Werewolf here, remember? Why do you even try?" Jackson shrugs.
"Jackson, just think it over, okay? You have to admit that there's no future for us. This distance thing... it wouldn't work."
"You think I haven't thought about it?" Jackson frowns when he realizes what Stiles had implied. "Because of course, I have."
Stiles seems a little surprised because the truth is that he didn't think that Jackson had given it much thought.
"You didn't say anything..."
"That's because every time I thought about it, I realized that nothing needed to change. And that I didn't want anything to change... and I assumed you didn't want it to either."
"It's not saying that I want things to change. It's that it's going to happen whether we want it or not. It's a fucking lot of time."
"Where did you hear that crap? Many things don't happen if you don't want them to happen. Things that you can control, I mean. Not stuff like accidents or deaths... No, other stuff is up to you. Like the other night at Danny's party, this very hot guy, Jason, wanted to hook up and I told to go find somebody else... because it was up to me... I decided what I wanted to happen."
"Jason?" Stiles knows that guy, he's not spoken to him but he knows he's one of Danny's friends and the guy looks like he lives at the gym. "Really?"
"You can ask Danny." Jackson offers.
Stiles doesn't say anything. He only thinks about the fact that Jason knows about him and Jackson and the asshole simply didn't care at all.
"So yeah, I think I've proved my point."
"Jackson, if that just happened here with someone who knows I exist... who knows we are together... just imagine what is going to happen when you are far from here where nobody has a clue. I don't think you can..." Stiles hesitates.
"What? Resist the temptation?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.
"Well... yeah..." Stiles finally admits. "I don't want you to feel obligated to..." Stiles licks his lips "y'know... stay celibate or whatever... It's college after all. I'm sure there will be lots of hot guys... and girls who will go after you. I'm not stupid... I know it's gonna happen," Stiles says matter-of-factly.
Jackson could tell him again how he knew Stiles was lying before but he's going to save it for another day.
Jackson shakes his head with disbelief once more. "So what if it happens?" Because of course Jackson knows it will. "If you trust me, then you have nothing to worry about. And haven't I proved to you that I want you? That your brain isn't the only thing I'm attracted to?" Jackson sighs. "To be honest I don't know how you can feel so insecure... I thought you were passed that by now." But obviously some things just never go away, not completely.
Stiles isn't sure how to answer that. He trusts Jackson but he still thinks that after some time, Jackson could feel lonely and bored and things could happen. And Stiles couldn't really blame him.
"I could be worried that somebody would want to hook up with you too, you know? But here is the thing... I do trust you and I know you love me. That's why I never thought about bringing this up. I know you aren't that kind of guy... and believe it or not, I'm not either. So, just get all this shit out of your head because there isn't any breaking up happening today or any time soon."
"Jackson, you know that there are few people in this world who are hotter than you are... and they don't live in Beacon Hills, which is where I'm staying, so the fact that you could be remotely worried is actually hilarious. You just can't compare the situation here. And besides, it's not about that. I don't want you to be miserable in college and then blame me for having the most boring experience of your life afterwards."
"Oh my god." Jackson smiles. "First of all, I'm going to college, so that I can get a degree and you know, a future, as they say. I'm not going to a fucking party, okay? I'm going to study. And secondly, you think I need to hook up with somebody so I don't get bored? Do you even listen to yourself? Will you be bored if you don't hook up with someone while I'm gone?"
"Hey, I've been... on my own a lot... a lot longer than you have in your life, that's for sure; so I've got practice. I think I'll be perfectly fine."
"Yeah, but I won't be fine," Jackson says with irony. "Because I need to get laid so I don't get bored. That's what you mean." Jackson licks his lips. "Wow. If that's what you really think... I think we actually have a problem," Jackson says, getting upset.
"That's not what I meant..." Stiles shakes his head.
Jackson snorts. "Of course you did. And I thought you knew me... Because before you, when I was with Lydia for a long time and, despite our problems, I never cheated on her and believe me when I said that it wasn't for the lack of opportunities... but when I'm with someone, I'm with someone. Not to mention the fact that I'm a werewolf now and you have a connection with my wolf that nobody else has. And if you don't know that and you don't trust me... maybe you're right..." There’s a hitch in his breath. "Maybe we shouldn't be together."
Stiles opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Everything that Jackson just said made him realize that he's stupid and he's fucked up.
"Maybe you were right after all." Jackson gets up and he's taken two steps towards the door when Stiles gets up and grabs him from his left arm to stop him.
"Jackson! Wait! Don't go. I fucked up, okay?" Stiles runs his hand along his left arm until it rests on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. "I see how you might have felt offended by what I said. But I didn't mean it that way, I swear. You know that sometimes I just say things they way the go through my head and I wish I had a filter for those times... Shit," Stiles shakes his head. "I'm sorry."
"The truth is that when we started going out, I never..." Stiles smiles for a second. "Never in a thousand years I thought we'd be in this situation. I guess I thought you'd get tired of me, or somebody else would get in the way or we'd find out that we didn't have more in common than what happened to us. And I guess that somewhere in the back of my head, I keep thinking the same..." Stiles shrugs. "But you were right before... and I know I don't say it that often... but I love you. I do... and I mean, if you think it can work, if you want to stay together... I trust you and I'll give it a try."
"Stiles, I'm not saying I'm one hundred percent that it's going to work. We're both new at this long distance thing, we've never been apart before, so maybe I'm wrong, maybe we'll fail miserably, but what's the solution? Just break up before that happens? We'll try and we'll see how it goes. There's texting, phone calls, Skype... should I go on? It's not the stone age anymore. We'll be in contact."
"Yeah... I know that." Stiles nods. "I'm also aware that I'm not the most confident person in the world--"
"You think?" Jackson raises his eyebrows.
"Are you making fun of me now?" Stiles smiles even if he's trying not to.
"You're very cute when you apologize. You should do it more often," Jackson smirks.
"Ha ha, don't change the subject."
"There wasn't really a subject anymore. You apologized, admitted that falling in love with me wasn't in your plans and agreed to a long distance thing with an uncertain future." Jackson guides Stiles slowly towards the door with his hands on Stiles's hips until he can feel it against his back. "Now you should just kiss me while I'm still here because a Skype date won't really feel the same way... I assure you of that."
Stiles doesn't really have time to react because as soon as Jackson stops talking, his lips are covered by Jackson's, their hips pressed together, and his mind forgets whatever he wanted to say next.