FIC: Little Black Riding Hood for CacklestheWitch
Title: Little Black Riding Hood
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Word Count: 2654
Summary: Remus's quiet night in is disturbed by Sirius, who is acting even more strangely than usual.
Warnings: Slash and unbeta'd
Notes: Another hideously late drabble/fic from the meme from ages ago. I hope you like it - it was inspired by one of your icons that never fails to amuse me when I see it. Oh and I am aware that someone else recently posted a Red Riding Hood fic at RemusXSirius - I hope no one thinks I am copying, I promise I have had this mostly written for ages, and it is just a coincidence.
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Little Black Riding Hood
Once upon a time there was a wizard named Remus Lupin, who lived in a little cottage in the middle of a wood.
Remus was a mild-mannered, hard-working young man, who rarely lost his temper and was a loyal and true friend.
Any rumours about his shortness of temper at certain times of the month were just that - rumours, and anyone who said otherwise was a damned liar.
Remus was rarely alone in his cottage; his best friend Sirius Black, who had practically moved into the spare room, often joined him. Sirius did have his own flat, which he was reluctant to give up. Sirius claimed he wanted his independence, though Remus knew he kept the place because it was conveniently located just a few doors away from his favourite pub.
Remus didn’t mind Sirius crashing at his flat instead of officially moving in with him - it meant that he could get things done around the cottage without being constantly interrupted by the over-enthusiastic antics of Padfoot, the large black dog that Sirius spent a lot of his time as.
Remus was alone in the cottage one Saturday night, enjoying the peace and quiet. James had returned from his honeymoon the week before, and Remus had tactfully suggested that he take Sirius out for a night on the town, because he thought perhaps he was feeling a little neglected by the other young man. James, after being told to ‘get Sirius out of my bloody hair or else!’ had been happy to have a boys’ night with just the two of them.
Remus found that his peace was shattered by the sound of the loudly banging door and he stifled a sigh of annoyance at the thought of having to repair the damage to the paint work on the wall, which would no doubt be chipped again with Sirius’s boisterous entrance.
“Grandma!”
Remus blinked a time or two. Surely he hadn’t heard that correctly?
“Grandma!” Sirius called again.
“How much has he had?” Remus muttered as he heard the sound of a crash coming from the living room. The crash was swiftly followed by something that sounded suspiciously like ‘bloody heels’, but Remus was sure he must have misheard the expletive.
He hurried down the hallway, listening to Sirius repeatedly calling out for his grandmother.
“There you are!” Sirius exclaimed with a joyful grin.
Remus stood in the doorway to the living room, too stunned to say anything. He was torn between horror and amusement.
Sirius was standing in the middle of the living room, next to a broken chair. He was holding a single high-heeled shoe in his right hand and a wicker basket in the other. Remus was fairly sure that when Sirius had left the cottage earlier that evening he’d been wearing black muggle jeans, a t-shirt from some concert he’d gone to the previous summer, and his black leather jacket. Remus couldn’t say specifically which t-shirt it was, but he was pretty sure that he’d have noticed Sirius’s current ensemble.
“What the hell happened to you?” Remus asked, gesturing vaguely to the ridiculous pinafore dress, crisp white apron and bright red cloak.
Sirius gave him a look of confusion, looked at his clothes - apparently not seeing anything wrong with them - and shrugged. “Got a bit of soil from the forest on my stockings,” he said. “The heel broke on my shoe.” He waved the shoe in question, as though this explained everything.
Remus wondered how much Sirius and James had had to drink that night, and was more than a little disconcerted by the fact that he could not smell alcohol on the other man, and nor was he slurring his speech.
“Aren’t you pleased to see me, Grandma?” Sirius asked with a thoroughly ridiculous pout.
Remus rolled his eyes. “Do I look like your bloody grandmother?” he asked. “Honestly, Sirius, one of your grandmother’s is dead and the other is in the Riviera. And I’m fairly sure that neither of them would approve of whatever it is you’ve been drinking tonight.”
“Drinking?” Sirius sounded aghast. “I’ve only had milk today.”
“Sure you have,” Remus muttered as he pointed his wand at the broken chair and repaired it.
“Grandma, what’s wrong?” Sirius asked, sounding perilously close to tears.
“Come on,” Remus ordered. “Let’s get you to bed so you can sleep this off.”
Sirius sniffed loudly and blew his nose on the bottom of the apron.
“Where did you and James go tonight?” Remus asked as he steered Sirius down the hall and towards the spare room.
“Oh my, Grandma, what strong hands you have!” Sirius exclaimed.
“Yeah, and they’ll be wringing the neck of James Potter in the morning,” Remus warned as he practically pushed Sirius through the door of the bedroom.
He was about to turn and leave, but Sirius stumbled in his one remaining shoe and he reached out to grab him, causing them both to topple onto the bed.
“Gerrof,” Remus breathlessly gasped, his breathlessness caused by the fact that Sirius was sprawled across his chest and making breathing more than a little difficult.
Sirius leaned up slightly, but didn’t get off of Remus entirely.
“Grandma, what pretty eyes you have,” Sirius murmured.
Remus growled. It was entirely a reflex action, but finally it seemed to make Sirius realise that he was not his grandmother.
“Grandma?” Sirius whispered cautiously.
“Guess again,” Remus replied with a glare.
“I know what you are,” Sirius whispered. “You’re a wolf, aren’t you?”
“No kidding,” Remus answered as sarcastically as he could manage.
“Mr Wolf,” Sirius breathed with a wolfish grin of his own.
“Sirius, this isn’t funny any more,” Remus insisted, not that he had found this particularly amusing in the first place. He tried to push and buck Sirius off of him, but unfortunately the other man was just not taking a hint. Instead, he was looking at him with increasingly wide eyes. “What?” Remus snapped.
Sirius grinned down at him. “Why, Mr Wolf, what a big cock you have.”
Remus growled again. The joke had gone on long enough and he was dangerously close to losing his temper.
He was about to give Sirius the hardest shove yet, but before he could do so, Sirius had rolled them over so that Remus was sprawled on top of him. He groaned and sat up on his knees, making ready to climb off of the bed. He had nearly made it when Sirius’s next words caused him to freeze.
“All the better to fuck me with,” Sirius said and he spread his legs wide on the bed, hitching up his dress and revealing to Remus that his outer clothes were not the only ones that had become more feminine since he had left the house earlier that evening.
Sirius’s fingers were toying with the elastic of the lacy knickers, and Remus could see that Sirius was more than a little aroused. He felt his own cock twitch in his trousers and cursed under his breath.
Yes, in the past he had, on occasion, looked at Sirius with the appreciative eye of someone who wasn’t particularly fussed as to the fact that he the person he was checking out was another bloke.
But to have Sirius spread out before him as he was now was something he had never really contemplated at all, and certainly not quite like this.
“You’ll regret this in the morning,” Remus muttered, though whether he was talking to Sirius or himself, even he didn’t know.
Sirius, realising that Remus wasn’t exactly getting down to business, sat up and looked at Remus questioningly. “Mr Wolf?” he asked.
Remus shook his head slightly, trying to remind himself that Sirius was either having a really good laugh at his expense, or had totally lost his mind.
He was still sitting back on his heels when he realised that Sirius was leaning forward, and a moment later he felt a hand reaching between his legs, gripping him through his trousers.
“Fuck!” he gasped, as his half-hard cock decided it liked this way too much.
He closed his eyes as he felt Sirius rubbing him through his trousers, unable to muster up the resolve to push him away.
It was over too soon. Remus came with a soft cry and his eyes flew open to see Sirius watching him, his face flushed and his eyes bright.
When his breathing had returned to normal, Remus felt his own face begin to burn as he dropped his gaze and looked down. Sirius’s hand was still cupping him through his trousers, trousers that were now embarrassingly stained with the evidence of how much he had enjoyed the last few minutes.
Sirius finally pulled his hand away and took Remus’s hand into his own. “Why, Mr Wolf, what gentle hands you have,” he whispered as he guided Remus’s hand under his dress.
Remus gave a small smile, willing to play along and return the favour. “All the better to grope you with,” he said as the tips of his fingers reached the bulge in Sirius’s knickers.
He didn’t take his eyes off of Sirius’s face, watching every single emotion that flickered across the handsome visage.
He watched as Sirius’s tongue darted out to lick at the full lips. His eyelids were drooping and his face was flushed. His head fell back, revealing the long column of his throat, with his Adam’s apple bobbing in time to his increasingly rapid breaths.
The lace was scratchy against his hand, but Remus found himself reluctant to slip his fingers inside the material, though the way things were going, Sirius was more than likely to burst through the flimsy fabric himself.
Sirius gave a whimper as he tumbled back onto the mattress, his hips bucking off of the bed as he thrust into Remus’s hand.
“Oh, Mr Wolf,” he cried out as Remus quickened his pace. “What talented fingers you have.”
Remus responded by reaching a single digit inside the knickers, causing Sirius to lose the power of speech altogether. Remus wanted to hear more of those sounds and slipped the rest of his hand inside the knickers.
He could feel himself getting hard again and reached for the zip of his trousers with his free hand. He fumbled slightly, but eventually pulled himself free.
“Hey, guys!” James suddenly called from the other room. “You don’t mind if I stay over do you? Lily’s locked me out.”
Remus froze in mute horror and he looked over his shoulder in time to see James appear in the open doorway. “Um…” he managed.
He tried to think of something that might pass for a reasonable explanation for why he had one hand wrapped around his cock whilst the other was quite clearly groping inside Sirius’s - presumably borrowed - knickers.
Sirius was no help at all. Remus wasn’t even entirely sure that he’d seen James arrive. He was moaning loudly and had reached out to encourage Remus to move his hand again.
“Oh, Mr Wolf,” Sirius cried out again, and a moment later Remus felt him come over his hand.
Remus was still staring in horror at James, who looked quite horrified himself and alarmingly pale.
“What did you give him tonight?” Remus hissed at James.
“Not a hand job,” James replied.
“You know what I mean,” Remus snapped. “He went out with you for a few pints and comes back here horny as hell and dressed up in drag.”
James grinned. “I’ll take the blame for the clothes,” he admitted. “But the horny as hell is all down to you.”
Remus glared at him. “Explain the clothes,” he demanded.
“Maybe after you remove your hand from my mate’s pants and put your dick back in your own,” James suggested.
Remus’s face, which had never quite returned to its normal pallor, coloured again as he did as James asked. “Sorry,” he muttered as he stood up and set himself to rights.
Sirius, apparently recovering slightly from his recent orgasm, sat up with a grin. “Oh, Mr Wolf, what a sexy arse you have,” he purred, reaching out to grope the arse in question.
“He’s been like this ever since he got back,” Remus explained. “Care to shed a little light on things?”
“We went to see a show,” James replied.
“And?” Remus prompted.
“There was this really cool muggle hypnotist.”
“And?” Remus prompted again, his patience starting to wear thin with the man he was sure was responsible for Sirius’s ridiculous behaviour and clothing.
“Sirius volunteered to go up on the stage.”
Remus raised an eyebrow.
“The hypnotist made him think he - and the other volunteers - were in famous muggle fairy tales,” James explained. “Sirius was Little Red Riding Hood.”
“And is there any particular reason why Sirius still thinks he’s in a fairy tale?” Remus asked, his voice dangerously polite.
James looked suitably guilty. “It was so funny, I thought you’d get a kick out of it,” he said. “The hypnotism didn’t look that difficult, so I copied what the bloke on the stage did and sent him home to you.”
“And the clothes?” Remus asked.
“Transfigured them,” James replied. “Much better than the costumes on the stage; they just gave him a blonde wig, a red cloak and a basket.”
“Well, that explains a lot of tonight’s events,” Remus agreed. “But it doesn’t explain the rest of it.”
James grinned. “Don’t see what you’re complaining about,” he teased. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself when I arrived.”
Remus felt his face burning yet again. “I got a bit carried away,” he muttered. “Now I suggest you reverse whatever you’ve done to Sirius and then obliviate the both of us before I hex you into the middle of next century.”
“Don’t you dare!” Sirius suddenly said.
Remus looked at Sirius curiously. He had a feeling that Sirius was himself again, though he wasn’t sure what had happened to trigger the change - certainly it wasn’t anything James had done.
“Back with us, are you?” Remus asked, folding his arms across his chest.
Sirius grinned. “Been back a while, ever since you said the word ‘Potter’ in fact.”
“Excuse me?” Remus questioned politely.
“The word to bring him out of the trance is Potter,” James explained. “You must have said it at some point. Though I’m not sure I want to know in what context, especially considering what I saw when I arrived.”
“He said he was going to wring your neck,” Sirius supplied helpfully.
“But that was ages ago?” Remus replied.
Sirius grinned widely. “Why, Mr Wolf, you’re quite right, it was.”
“But you… but we… you…” Remus faltered, unsure of what the correct thing to say was in such ridiculous circumstances.
Sirius stood watching him, still wearing the girls clothes and one high heeled shoe.
“Little Red Riding Hood didn’t wear heels,” he finally said, looking at James as he spoke.
James laughed. “Maybe not, but watching Sirius stumble his way through the woods in them was more than worth a little creative licence with the clothes.”
Sirius stepped out of the shoe, picked it up, and threw it at James with some considerable force.
“Guess you want me to change your clothes back,” James said as he pulled out his wand.
“Er…” Remus interrupted.
“Yeah?” Sirius asked with a wicked grin.
“You could keep them like this,” Remus suggested in a voice that was barely more than an embarrassed whisper.
“I liked that t-shirt,” Sirius complained.
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Remus offered in what he hoped was a seductive tone of voice, but suspected merely sounded rather pathetically desperate.
James’s face had gone from amused to panicked in the blink of an eye. “I’ll be on the sofa,” he said as he practically ran from the room, leaving Little Black Riding Hood and the Werewolf to get up to things that he’d rather not know about, let alone witness.
Rating: R
Pairing: Remus/Sirius
Word Count: 2654
Summary: Remus's quiet night in is disturbed by Sirius, who is acting even more strangely than usual.
Warnings: Slash and unbeta'd
Notes: Another hideously late drabble/fic from the meme from ages ago. I hope you like it - it was inspired by one of your icons that never fails to amuse me when I see it. Oh and I am aware that someone else recently posted a Red Riding Hood fic at RemusXSirius - I hope no one thinks I am copying, I promise I have had this mostly written for ages, and it is just a coincidence.
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Little Black Riding Hood
Once upon a time there was a wizard named Remus Lupin, who lived in a little cottage in the middle of a wood.
Remus was a mild-mannered, hard-working young man, who rarely lost his temper and was a loyal and true friend.
Any rumours about his shortness of temper at certain times of the month were just that - rumours, and anyone who said otherwise was a damned liar.
Remus was rarely alone in his cottage; his best friend Sirius Black, who had practically moved into the spare room, often joined him. Sirius did have his own flat, which he was reluctant to give up. Sirius claimed he wanted his independence, though Remus knew he kept the place because it was conveniently located just a few doors away from his favourite pub.
Remus didn’t mind Sirius crashing at his flat instead of officially moving in with him - it meant that he could get things done around the cottage without being constantly interrupted by the over-enthusiastic antics of Padfoot, the large black dog that Sirius spent a lot of his time as.
Remus was alone in the cottage one Saturday night, enjoying the peace and quiet. James had returned from his honeymoon the week before, and Remus had tactfully suggested that he take Sirius out for a night on the town, because he thought perhaps he was feeling a little neglected by the other young man. James, after being told to ‘get Sirius out of my bloody hair or else!’ had been happy to have a boys’ night with just the two of them.
Remus found that his peace was shattered by the sound of the loudly banging door and he stifled a sigh of annoyance at the thought of having to repair the damage to the paint work on the wall, which would no doubt be chipped again with Sirius’s boisterous entrance.
“Grandma!”
Remus blinked a time or two. Surely he hadn’t heard that correctly?
“Grandma!” Sirius called again.
“How much has he had?” Remus muttered as he heard the sound of a crash coming from the living room. The crash was swiftly followed by something that sounded suspiciously like ‘bloody heels’, but Remus was sure he must have misheard the expletive.
He hurried down the hallway, listening to Sirius repeatedly calling out for his grandmother.
“There you are!” Sirius exclaimed with a joyful grin.
Remus stood in the doorway to the living room, too stunned to say anything. He was torn between horror and amusement.
Sirius was standing in the middle of the living room, next to a broken chair. He was holding a single high-heeled shoe in his right hand and a wicker basket in the other. Remus was fairly sure that when Sirius had left the cottage earlier that evening he’d been wearing black muggle jeans, a t-shirt from some concert he’d gone to the previous summer, and his black leather jacket. Remus couldn’t say specifically which t-shirt it was, but he was pretty sure that he’d have noticed Sirius’s current ensemble.
“What the hell happened to you?” Remus asked, gesturing vaguely to the ridiculous pinafore dress, crisp white apron and bright red cloak.
Sirius gave him a look of confusion, looked at his clothes - apparently not seeing anything wrong with them - and shrugged. “Got a bit of soil from the forest on my stockings,” he said. “The heel broke on my shoe.” He waved the shoe in question, as though this explained everything.
Remus wondered how much Sirius and James had had to drink that night, and was more than a little disconcerted by the fact that he could not smell alcohol on the other man, and nor was he slurring his speech.
“Aren’t you pleased to see me, Grandma?” Sirius asked with a thoroughly ridiculous pout.
Remus rolled his eyes. “Do I look like your bloody grandmother?” he asked. “Honestly, Sirius, one of your grandmother’s is dead and the other is in the Riviera. And I’m fairly sure that neither of them would approve of whatever it is you’ve been drinking tonight.”
“Drinking?” Sirius sounded aghast. “I’ve only had milk today.”
“Sure you have,” Remus muttered as he pointed his wand at the broken chair and repaired it.
“Grandma, what’s wrong?” Sirius asked, sounding perilously close to tears.
“Come on,” Remus ordered. “Let’s get you to bed so you can sleep this off.”
Sirius sniffed loudly and blew his nose on the bottom of the apron.
“Where did you and James go tonight?” Remus asked as he steered Sirius down the hall and towards the spare room.
“Oh my, Grandma, what strong hands you have!” Sirius exclaimed.
“Yeah, and they’ll be wringing the neck of James Potter in the morning,” Remus warned as he practically pushed Sirius through the door of the bedroom.
He was about to turn and leave, but Sirius stumbled in his one remaining shoe and he reached out to grab him, causing them both to topple onto the bed.
“Gerrof,” Remus breathlessly gasped, his breathlessness caused by the fact that Sirius was sprawled across his chest and making breathing more than a little difficult.
Sirius leaned up slightly, but didn’t get off of Remus entirely.
“Grandma, what pretty eyes you have,” Sirius murmured.
Remus growled. It was entirely a reflex action, but finally it seemed to make Sirius realise that he was not his grandmother.
“Grandma?” Sirius whispered cautiously.
“Guess again,” Remus replied with a glare.
“I know what you are,” Sirius whispered. “You’re a wolf, aren’t you?”
“No kidding,” Remus answered as sarcastically as he could manage.
“Mr Wolf,” Sirius breathed with a wolfish grin of his own.
“Sirius, this isn’t funny any more,” Remus insisted, not that he had found this particularly amusing in the first place. He tried to push and buck Sirius off of him, but unfortunately the other man was just not taking a hint. Instead, he was looking at him with increasingly wide eyes. “What?” Remus snapped.
Sirius grinned down at him. “Why, Mr Wolf, what a big cock you have.”
Remus growled again. The joke had gone on long enough and he was dangerously close to losing his temper.
He was about to give Sirius the hardest shove yet, but before he could do so, Sirius had rolled them over so that Remus was sprawled on top of him. He groaned and sat up on his knees, making ready to climb off of the bed. He had nearly made it when Sirius’s next words caused him to freeze.
“All the better to fuck me with,” Sirius said and he spread his legs wide on the bed, hitching up his dress and revealing to Remus that his outer clothes were not the only ones that had become more feminine since he had left the house earlier that evening.
Sirius’s fingers were toying with the elastic of the lacy knickers, and Remus could see that Sirius was more than a little aroused. He felt his own cock twitch in his trousers and cursed under his breath.
Yes, in the past he had, on occasion, looked at Sirius with the appreciative eye of someone who wasn’t particularly fussed as to the fact that he the person he was checking out was another bloke.
But to have Sirius spread out before him as he was now was something he had never really contemplated at all, and certainly not quite like this.
“You’ll regret this in the morning,” Remus muttered, though whether he was talking to Sirius or himself, even he didn’t know.
Sirius, realising that Remus wasn’t exactly getting down to business, sat up and looked at Remus questioningly. “Mr Wolf?” he asked.
Remus shook his head slightly, trying to remind himself that Sirius was either having a really good laugh at his expense, or had totally lost his mind.
He was still sitting back on his heels when he realised that Sirius was leaning forward, and a moment later he felt a hand reaching between his legs, gripping him through his trousers.
“Fuck!” he gasped, as his half-hard cock decided it liked this way too much.
He closed his eyes as he felt Sirius rubbing him through his trousers, unable to muster up the resolve to push him away.
It was over too soon. Remus came with a soft cry and his eyes flew open to see Sirius watching him, his face flushed and his eyes bright.
When his breathing had returned to normal, Remus felt his own face begin to burn as he dropped his gaze and looked down. Sirius’s hand was still cupping him through his trousers, trousers that were now embarrassingly stained with the evidence of how much he had enjoyed the last few minutes.
Sirius finally pulled his hand away and took Remus’s hand into his own. “Why, Mr Wolf, what gentle hands you have,” he whispered as he guided Remus’s hand under his dress.
Remus gave a small smile, willing to play along and return the favour. “All the better to grope you with,” he said as the tips of his fingers reached the bulge in Sirius’s knickers.
He didn’t take his eyes off of Sirius’s face, watching every single emotion that flickered across the handsome visage.
He watched as Sirius’s tongue darted out to lick at the full lips. His eyelids were drooping and his face was flushed. His head fell back, revealing the long column of his throat, with his Adam’s apple bobbing in time to his increasingly rapid breaths.
The lace was scratchy against his hand, but Remus found himself reluctant to slip his fingers inside the material, though the way things were going, Sirius was more than likely to burst through the flimsy fabric himself.
Sirius gave a whimper as he tumbled back onto the mattress, his hips bucking off of the bed as he thrust into Remus’s hand.
“Oh, Mr Wolf,” he cried out as Remus quickened his pace. “What talented fingers you have.”
Remus responded by reaching a single digit inside the knickers, causing Sirius to lose the power of speech altogether. Remus wanted to hear more of those sounds and slipped the rest of his hand inside the knickers.
He could feel himself getting hard again and reached for the zip of his trousers with his free hand. He fumbled slightly, but eventually pulled himself free.
“Hey, guys!” James suddenly called from the other room. “You don’t mind if I stay over do you? Lily’s locked me out.”
Remus froze in mute horror and he looked over his shoulder in time to see James appear in the open doorway. “Um…” he managed.
He tried to think of something that might pass for a reasonable explanation for why he had one hand wrapped around his cock whilst the other was quite clearly groping inside Sirius’s - presumably borrowed - knickers.
Sirius was no help at all. Remus wasn’t even entirely sure that he’d seen James arrive. He was moaning loudly and had reached out to encourage Remus to move his hand again.
“Oh, Mr Wolf,” Sirius cried out again, and a moment later Remus felt him come over his hand.
Remus was still staring in horror at James, who looked quite horrified himself and alarmingly pale.
“What did you give him tonight?” Remus hissed at James.
“Not a hand job,” James replied.
“You know what I mean,” Remus snapped. “He went out with you for a few pints and comes back here horny as hell and dressed up in drag.”
James grinned. “I’ll take the blame for the clothes,” he admitted. “But the horny as hell is all down to you.”
Remus glared at him. “Explain the clothes,” he demanded.
“Maybe after you remove your hand from my mate’s pants and put your dick back in your own,” James suggested.
Remus’s face, which had never quite returned to its normal pallor, coloured again as he did as James asked. “Sorry,” he muttered as he stood up and set himself to rights.
Sirius, apparently recovering slightly from his recent orgasm, sat up with a grin. “Oh, Mr Wolf, what a sexy arse you have,” he purred, reaching out to grope the arse in question.
“He’s been like this ever since he got back,” Remus explained. “Care to shed a little light on things?”
“We went to see a show,” James replied.
“And?” Remus prompted.
“There was this really cool muggle hypnotist.”
“And?” Remus prompted again, his patience starting to wear thin with the man he was sure was responsible for Sirius’s ridiculous behaviour and clothing.
“Sirius volunteered to go up on the stage.”
Remus raised an eyebrow.
“The hypnotist made him think he - and the other volunteers - were in famous muggle fairy tales,” James explained. “Sirius was Little Red Riding Hood.”
“And is there any particular reason why Sirius still thinks he’s in a fairy tale?” Remus asked, his voice dangerously polite.
James looked suitably guilty. “It was so funny, I thought you’d get a kick out of it,” he said. “The hypnotism didn’t look that difficult, so I copied what the bloke on the stage did and sent him home to you.”
“And the clothes?” Remus asked.
“Transfigured them,” James replied. “Much better than the costumes on the stage; they just gave him a blonde wig, a red cloak and a basket.”
“Well, that explains a lot of tonight’s events,” Remus agreed. “But it doesn’t explain the rest of it.”
James grinned. “Don’t see what you’re complaining about,” he teased. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself when I arrived.”
Remus felt his face burning yet again. “I got a bit carried away,” he muttered. “Now I suggest you reverse whatever you’ve done to Sirius and then obliviate the both of us before I hex you into the middle of next century.”
“Don’t you dare!” Sirius suddenly said.
Remus looked at Sirius curiously. He had a feeling that Sirius was himself again, though he wasn’t sure what had happened to trigger the change - certainly it wasn’t anything James had done.
“Back with us, are you?” Remus asked, folding his arms across his chest.
Sirius grinned. “Been back a while, ever since you said the word ‘Potter’ in fact.”
“Excuse me?” Remus questioned politely.
“The word to bring him out of the trance is Potter,” James explained. “You must have said it at some point. Though I’m not sure I want to know in what context, especially considering what I saw when I arrived.”
“He said he was going to wring your neck,” Sirius supplied helpfully.
“But that was ages ago?” Remus replied.
Sirius grinned widely. “Why, Mr Wolf, you’re quite right, it was.”
“But you… but we… you…” Remus faltered, unsure of what the correct thing to say was in such ridiculous circumstances.
Sirius stood watching him, still wearing the girls clothes and one high heeled shoe.
“Little Red Riding Hood didn’t wear heels,” he finally said, looking at James as he spoke.
James laughed. “Maybe not, but watching Sirius stumble his way through the woods in them was more than worth a little creative licence with the clothes.”
Sirius stepped out of the shoe, picked it up, and threw it at James with some considerable force.
“Guess you want me to change your clothes back,” James said as he pulled out his wand.
“Er…” Remus interrupted.
“Yeah?” Sirius asked with a wicked grin.
“You could keep them like this,” Remus suggested in a voice that was barely more than an embarrassed whisper.
“I liked that t-shirt,” Sirius complained.
“I’ll make it worth your while,” Remus offered in what he hoped was a seductive tone of voice, but suspected merely sounded rather pathetically desperate.
James’s face had gone from amused to panicked in the blink of an eye. “I’ll be on the sofa,” he said as he practically ran from the room, leaving Little Black Riding Hood and the Werewolf to get up to things that he’d rather not know about, let alone witness.