FIC: Triple Trouble - Part 7 of 12
Title: Triple Trouble
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 42,818
Genre: Romance/Humour/Drama
Summary: Double Trouble becomes Triple Trouble when Remus, Sirius and Lily from a parallel world visit The Marauders.
Warnings: Slash and some mild bad language
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.
This story is the third in my Trouble series.
Double Trouble can be found here.
A Little More Trouble can be found here.
Chapter one of Triple Trouble can be found here.
Chapter 7
The tension caused by the two stubborn boys continued for the next two days; neither Remus nor Sirius was prepared to make the first move to repair their relationship. Eventually James and Peter realised that it was going to be up to the two of them to nudge their friends back together.
“James, could you please ask Black to pass the jam over?” asked Remus as he grabbed a slice of toast from the platter in the centre of the table.
James looked back at him carefully before calming answering. “No.”
“W-what?” Remus spluttered. “I thought you weren’t taking sides in this?
“I’m not,” James replied as he poured himself some pumpkin juice. “If you want Sirius to pass you the jam, then ask him yourself.”
“Ahem.” Peter coughed and nodded towards Sirius.
“Oh yeah, same goes for you Sirius. Peter and I have decided we’ve had enough of this ‘ask Lupin if he wrote down the homework in Transfiguration’, ‘tell Black he should take his own notes’ morning, noon and night.”
“He started it,” Sirius muttered.
“Could you be any more childish?” Remus asked with a glare across the table.
“When I said you should start speaking again, that wasn’t what I had in mind,” James pointed out.
“James is right,” Lily piped up from the other side of Sirius. Remus looked at her in surprise as she nudged Sirius and looked pointedly at the jar of jam.
“Whatever,” Sirius muttered as he carelessly slid the jam across to Remus, who was taken by surprise and missed catching it, causing the jam to spill down the front of his shirt.
“Great, Black, real mature,” Remus snapped as he pulled out his wand to clean his shirt.
“Personally, I think you’re both acting like a couple of first years,” Lily commented. “You’re actually making James seem like the mature member of the group; quite an achievement that.”
James looked like he wanted to respond to the underlying insult, but for once in his life he managed to hold his tongue.
“It’s not like they’re even fighting over anything important,” Peter explained to Lily.
“Not important to you,” Remus muttered. “Black just can’t get his head round the idea that the other him might not be trustworthy.”
“You’re just assuming that because he’s a Black he’s…”
“Oh shut it the pair of you!” Lily snapped. “I don’t know how you managed to reach the conclusion that I care what you’re fighting about, but you’re wrong.”
Remus looked surprised at her vehemence, but Sirius was more than used to this side of Lily and barely batted an eyelid at her tone.
“So, Lily?” James asked. “You are Lily, right?”
“Would you like me to wear a badge or something?” asked Lily with false sweetness.
“Wow! What a great idea. That would be wonderful. Would you?” James replied in all seriousness.
“No, I flaming well wouldn’t,” Lily snapped. “And yes, I’m Lily.”
James recovered himself quickly. “I have a small favour to ask of you.”
“You’re wasting your time,” Remus interrupted.
“I can at least ask,” James replied before turning back to Lily and giving her the shortened version of Sirius’s undercover mission to find out what the others’ mission was. This version not including, of course, the minor fact that Sirius was in his illegal animagus form at the time of his eavesdropping.
“And you want me to ask Severus what this mission is?” Lily asked coldly.
“Yep! Will you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You need to take your own advice for once,” Lily replied. “You want to ask Severus something, ask him yourself.”
“You know he won’t tell me anything.”
“And you know who’s to blame for that!”
“He’s your friend.”
“Was.”
“Well, here’s a chance to mend some bridges,” Sirius suggested, earning him a sharp kick on the ankle from James.
“Never mind Lily, I’ll go ask him,” James said with a smile that only widened further at Lily’s look of total utter astonishment.
“Lily,” Remus coughed to clear his throat to get her attention fully. “You know that James is right about this. Snape won’t tell us anything if we ask. And it is kind of urgent that we find out what they’re up to.”
“Not my problem,” Lily replied sweetly. “I kind of like having Lillian around. It was weird at first, and she can be a bit thoughtless and act a little strange, but now she’s settled in, it’s kind of fun.”
“Fun for who?” James muttered, no doubt recalling any one of a number of occasions when he’d mistaken the two girls for each other. “Speak of the devil.”
Remus looked up and saw that Lillian was indeed heading in their direction. “Great,” he muttered.
“Morning, Remus,” Lillian chirped as she sat down beside him, just a little too close for Remus’s comfort.
“Morning,” he mumbled as he edged away slightly.
“Where’s Snuffles this morning?”
“Dunno.”
“You really should take more care of your pet,” Lillian chided gently as she patted him on the knee. “Good job you’ve got me to help out now, isn’t it?”
James glared at Remus, annoyed at seeing Lillian, looking so similar to Lily, blatantly flirting with him. Sirius was simply simmering with jealousy and looked ready to stab someone with his butter knife. Remus squirmed uncomfortably at the not entirely unfamiliar situation. In the two days since he and Sirius had argued, Lillian seemed to have made it her mission in life to flirt with Remus at every available opportunity. At first it had been merely surprising, now it was driving him completely up the wall.
“Do you want to quit manhandling my boyfriend?” Sirius snarled from across the table.
“Ex-boyfriend,” Lillian reminded him. “So, Remus, what are your plans for this evening?”
“Er…”
“We could take Snuffles for a walk down by the lake,” Lillian suggested with a flirtatious wink.
James began to choke on his pumpkin juice at the idea of Remus on a date with Lillian, and Sirius tagging along as Snuffles.
“But I’m not… er… well, I…”
“He’s trying to remind you that he’s gay,” Sirius interrupted.
“Bi,” Lillian corrected. “I heard from a little birdie that you haven’t always liked men and that last term you were seeing Tricia from Ravenclaw.”
“What?” James, Sirius, Peter and Lily squeaked.
“How did you know that?” Remus asked.
“It’s true?” Sirius asked, forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to be speaking to Remus.
“It was only for a few weeks back in October,” Remus explained. “Her parents are pureblood fanatics who used to be in Slytherin, so she wanted to keep it quiet. Me being a half blood might not have gone down too well.”
“You could have told us,” James complained. “Especially if she knows.”
“It’s not like I told her,” Remus replied before turning to glare at Lillian and asking again how she knew.
“Just gossip making the rounds,” she replied. “But that’s beside the point. Now you’re back on the market again, you can just forget about seeing blokes and get back into a nice normal relationship with one of us girls. Why not me?”
“Because he’s not back on the market,” Sirius growled.
“Says who?” Lillian asked.
“Says me,” Sirius replied.
“Maybe if you let him think and speak for himself once in a while he wouldn’t have dumped you.”
“I’ve not been dumped! I’m a Black. We never get dumped. If anyone’s been doing the dumping round here, it’s me.”
“So, you admit you’ve dumped Remus?” Lillian smirked. “So, how about it, honey?” she turned back to Remus with a smile. “Seven o’clock, down by the lake.”
“I’ve got to get to Ancient Runes,” Remus muttered as he bolted from the table, his breakfast unfinished.
-o-xXx-o-
“I take it Snape wouldn’t tell you anything?” Remus asked after James had returned to the common room after dinner that evening. The green colour of his skin and the silver colour of his hair was a bit of a give-away that things had not gone that well.
“Guess we’ll have to resort to Snuffles again,” Peter suggested with a wicked grin at Sirius.
“I suppose that’s my cue,” Sirius muttered as he stalked off to the dorms, returning a few minutes later as Padfoot.
He waited for the smart remarks, but none were forthcoming. Remus barely even looked at him. He contemplated leaping onto the sofa beside him to see if it prompted a reaction, but unfortunately someone had beaten him to it.
“So, how about that walk?” Lillian whispered into Remus’s ear. Sirius’s hearing as Padfoot was more than sensitive enough to pick up on it, and he growled at the two of them. “Looks like Snuffles is a little jealous,” Lillian giggled. “Don’t you worry, baby. No one could replace my favourite doggie. Are you ready for walkies?”
“Why don’t you just take Snuffles for a walk?” Remus suggested. “I’ve got detention anyway.”
“Haven’t we all?” James muttered, as he rapidly searched through his book for the counter-curse to repair his face and hair.
“Surely you’ve got time for a short walk?” Lillian whined.
Sirius watched as Remus began to relent. He knew that look very well, and since it normally appeared when he was pestering Remus into doing something he didn’t want to, he could tell that in about thirty seconds Lillian would be steering Remus out of the portrait hole… unless he did something to stop her. It was time to get enthusiastic about the idea of ‘walkies’.
-o-xXx-o-
Getting Lillian out of the common room without Remus wasn’t too difficult, and Sirius was soon trying to steer Lillian towards the Slytherin quarters, in the hope that she might stop for a chat with Snape and mention the mission again.
Thankfully for Sirius, luck was on his side and as they approached the Entrance Hall Lillian let out a squeal and started tugging him in the direction of the kitchens. She tickled the pear and stepped into the kitchen with a grin.
“I thought I saw you come in here, Sev,” she said with a smile.
“I guess you saw right then,” Snape muttered and he turned his back on her.
“Is something wrong?”
“What could possibly be wrong?” Snape replied coldly. Sirius easily picked up on the sarcasm, but it appeared that Lillian was entirely oblivious to it. Somehow he suspected that he wasn’t going to be finding out about the mission any time soon.
“Is it something I’ve done?” Lillian asked with what sounded like a sob.
“Oh, nothing much,” Snape snarled. “Just flirting with me and leading me on ever since you got here, and now throwing yourself at Lupin at every available opportunity.”
“Oh, that.” Lillian laughed airily and waved her hand. “That’s nothing. I’m not interested in him.”
“Could have fooled me, not to mention the rest of the school including his idiot boyfriend.”
Sirius growled.
“I just need to keep him sweet so he’ll let me take Snuffles home with me.”
What?
“What?”
“Snuffles,” Lillian repeated pointing at the confused Sirius. “Lupin’s got no idea how to take care of him and he’ll be much better off with me. I’m just trying to keep him sweet. I thought perhaps if we were dating, he’d let me have Snuffles to remember him by when I go home. I don’t care about him.”
“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re not logical at all?” Snape asked.
“No,” Lillian replied.
“You’re… you’re…” Snape’s voice trailed off and he shook his head mutely.
Brainless, Sirius supplied to himself.
“I know, it’s brilliant, isn’t it?” Lillian gushed. “My own little doggie will be so pleased to have a friend to play with. And Snuffles won’t be lonely any more.”
I’m not lonely now.
“Can’t say I’m really a dog person,” Snape muttered as he glared Snuffles.
There’s a surprise!
“Does that mean you’re going to follow me home?” Lillian asked as she sidled closer to him.
“I’m still thinking about it.”
“I’d choose you over Snuffles any day.”
Passed over for Snivellus? What was the world coming to?
“It’s not like there’s anything left for you here. She doesn’t want you.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Snape hissed.
“You could step into the life of the other you,” Lillian told him. “You’d be in Ravenclaw. You’d have me. All you have to do is cast the spell to open the doorway at noon on the day after I return home. I’ll be on the other side waiting for you.”
“And if the other me isn’t dead after all?”
“The chances of him being alive are practically non-existent.”
“About on par with the chances of finding this book you want.”
“You’ve still not found any trace of it?”
“Not a word. It might not even exist in this world, and even if it does I don’t think we’re ever going to find it.”
“It exists in my world.”
“That doesn’t mean it exists here. I’ve found all sorts of reports about all sorts of artefacts relating to the founders, but nothing about any old spell book of Salazar Slytherin.”
A spell book? Sirius perked up as he realised that Snape had just told him, without meaning to of course, what it was that the others were looking for.
“Have you looked in restricted section of the library?” Lillian asked. “Maybe it’s mentioned in one of the books about the founders.”
“I’ve looked everywhere,” Snape replied. “Why’s it so urgent anyway?”
“According to Dumbledore, the dark wizard in our world has my world’s version of the book. The spells he’s using are old, ancient even, and we have no idea how to fight them. If we have your version of the book we can find the counter-curses.”
“But even if the book exists here, it isn’t necessarily going to contain the same spells.”
“But we won’t know until we find it.”
“If we find it,” Snape corrected.
“Well Dumbledore, my Dumbledore that is, will be checking in with us again tomorrow night. It’d be nice if I had some good news for him.”
“He’s got rid of Black and Lupin from his world indefinitely, I’m sure that’s good enough news for anyone,” Snape muttered.
“The Sev in my world was actually friends with them,” Lillian said with a smile. “Very good friends in fact.”
“Well, don’t expect me to take over that aspect of your Sev’s life,” Snape muttered.
“So, what part of his life would you be willing to take over?” Lillian asked as she drew closer to him.
Sirius closed his eyes and blindly bolted for the door, before he saw more than he thought his stomach could handle.
-o-xXx-o-
“We have to stop him,” Remus said after Sirius had finished reporting back on his latest bit of spying.
“Why?” James asked. “Snape leaves with the others and we never have to lay eyes on him again… what’s so bad about that?”
“He doesn’t belong there,” Remus pointed out as Peter and Sirius nodded their agreement with James.
“It’s not like he fits in round here either,” James replied with a shrug. “He’ll probably be happier there with Lillian. Leaving Lily for me, of course.”
“In your dreams,” Peter laughed.
“The two Dumbledores will probably make him come back anyway,” Sirius muttered. “Unless he can pass himself off as the other one, which is highly doubtful.”
“I’ll bet he could actually,” Remus replied quietly. “Snape can be quite the actor when it suits him. He’s as good as you at looking innocent when he’s just done something he shouldn’t have.”
“Oh great, back on that again, are we?” Sirius muttered.
“I’m not back on anything,” Remus snapped. “You’re just being paranoid.”
“If you two don’t kiss and make up soon, I’m going to lock you in the nearest broom cupboard,” Peter warned them with a glare.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Sirius replied calmly.
“Maybe he wouldn’t, but I would,” James glared at him. “I’d leave you there as long as it took, too.”
“Just leave it, James,” Remus advised. “It’s quite clear that Black is looking for any excuse to call things off with me. This is the longest relationship he’s ever been in, so naturally he’s now about ready to bolt.”
“That’s not true!”
“Looks like it to me.”
“I don’t want to call things off. I just want…”
“What? Me to stroke your ego every waking minute by agreeing with every idiotic thing you say?”
“No! I just…” Sirius’s voice trailed off as he pulled Remus towards him and kissed him soundly on the lips.
Remus could do nothing but respond to the possessive kiss and he wrapped his arms around Sirius’s neck.
“Er… guys?” James was ignored completely. “I blame you, Wormtail.”
“Me?”
“You’re the one that told them to ‘kiss and make up’.”
Finally the two boys broke apart, smiling shyly at each other and completely oblivious to the other two boys.
“That parcel I was waiting for came yesterday,” Remus whispered with a mischievous grin.
Sirius grinned back. “Room of requirement in ten minutes?”
“Five?”
James turned to Peter after Sirius and Remus had disappeared from the shrieking shack without another word. “Guess things are back to normal then?”
“I guess. Want a game of exploding snap?”
“Sure,” James replied as they made their way back to the common room, both consciously trying to push various disturbing images of their two best friends from their minds.
“So, do you think they’re actually going to do it?”
“I think we’re better off not knowing,” James replied with a shudder.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius, once again undercover as Snuffles, was sitting in the headmaster’s office, this time eavesdropping on the meeting between the three doubles and their own headmaster. Unfortunately his mind was far from on the current conversation and kept drifting back to the previous night with Remus. As such he missed the conversation turning towards the topic of himself.
“He’s practically a stray,” Lillian said as she knelt on the floor beside him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Ill-treated by his owner and with no one to love him.”
“We don’t normally allow dogs into the school,” the other Dumbledore explained. “They tend to disrupt the cats.”
“He won’t chase them, he never chases them here,” Lillian promised.
What? Wait a minute? Did I miss something?
“You’re sure he doesn’t have an owner here?” Dumbledore asked. “There’s no one who might miss him if he should vanish from this world?”
They’re going home?
“No one.” Lillian shook her head vehemently.
But they’ve not found the book? Why are they leaving? What did I miss?
Sirius looked towards his other self and the other Remus, hoping one of them would point out that he belonged to Moony. Neither of them was saying anything. It looked like it was up to him to save himself and he bolted for the door. He got about three paces when he realised that he’d been so inattentive that he hadn’t even noticed Lillian putting the choker chain back on him again.
“He doesn’t seem very eager to leave with you,” Dumbledore said gently.
“I’m sure he’s just nervous about seeing something new,” replied Lillian and she waved her hand at the bubble doorway that separated the two worlds.
“Possibly,” Dumbledore said slowly.
Sirius tried to tug backwards again, wondering if it would be worth the amount of trouble he would get into if he just transfigured himself back into his human form. Thoughts of expulsion and Azkaban flitted through his mind in rapid succession and he knew that he couldn’t risk it.
“Come on, Snuffles,” Lillian said cheerfully. “We’re going home.”
Oh crap! Sirius struggled as much as he could, but soon found himself tugged through the doorway between worlds.
I’m being dognapped he tried to silently convey to anyone who might listen. Then the portal closed and he knew he was in deep, deep trouble.
-o-xXx-o-
“They’ve gone home?” James asked with a delighted grin. “You mean it’s over? They’re gone for good?”
“There’s no need to sound quite so pleased about it,” Professor McGonagall chided. “Hogwarts, their Hogwarts, is still in grave danger. Their Dumbledore has been removed from his post as headmaster and as such it was thought best to recall the three of them in case they found themselves trapped here permanently. They left a short while ago with their belongings and pets.”
“Pets?” Peter asked. “They didn’t bring any pets.”
“Lillian apparently adopted a dog whilst she was here,” McGonagall explained. “She has taken him home with her.”
“Not Snuffles?” Remus squeaked.
“I believe that was the animal’s name,” McGonagall replied after a moment of thought.
“No!” Remus yelled.
“Mr Lupin, control yourself!”
“But she can’t take Snuffles. He’s…”
“You know the animal?”
“He’s…” Remus looked at James and Peter for help, but they were even more speechless than he was. He couldn’t own up to owning Snuffles to McGonagall. She knew very well who had what pet in Gryffindor house and was well aware that Remus didn’t own a dog. And telling her that Snuffles was actually Sirius was equally out of the question. They’d all be expelled for sure if the truth ever came out.
“Did Snuffles have an owner?”
Remus shook his head. “Not really,” he whispered.
“I’m sure he’ll be well cared for now,” McGonagall said with a smile.
Remus nodded dumbly as McGonagall left the dormitory and the three stunned boys.
“Maybe she found another dog to take home?” Peter suggested weakly.
“Then where’s Sirius?” Remus asked.
For several minutes the three boys sat looking at each other in silence.
“Maybe we should tell Dumbledore?” Remus finally suggested.
“We’ll be expelled,” James whispered. “Not to mention illegal animagi are thrown into Azkaban.”
“And werewolves who don’t take the proper precautions are executed,” Remus whispered back.
“We’re so screwed,” Peter muttered. “How long do you think it’ll be until the teachers notice that Sirius is missing?”
“He has free periods tomorrow morning,” Remus said without hesitation. “But we’ve all got Transfiguration right after lunch and McGonagall will be sure to spot if he’s missing.”
“Wormtail’s right,” James said dejectedly. “We’re screwed.”
“Completely.”
“Totally.”
“Utterly.”
-
Chapter 8
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 42,818
Genre: Romance/Humour/Drama
Summary: Double Trouble becomes Triple Trouble when Remus, Sirius and Lily from a parallel world visit The Marauders.
Warnings: Slash and some mild bad language
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.
This story is the third in my Trouble series.
Double Trouble can be found here.
A Little More Trouble can be found here.
Chapter one of Triple Trouble can be found here.
Chapter 7
The tension caused by the two stubborn boys continued for the next two days; neither Remus nor Sirius was prepared to make the first move to repair their relationship. Eventually James and Peter realised that it was going to be up to the two of them to nudge their friends back together.
“James, could you please ask Black to pass the jam over?” asked Remus as he grabbed a slice of toast from the platter in the centre of the table.
James looked back at him carefully before calming answering. “No.”
“W-what?” Remus spluttered. “I thought you weren’t taking sides in this?
“I’m not,” James replied as he poured himself some pumpkin juice. “If you want Sirius to pass you the jam, then ask him yourself.”
“Ahem.” Peter coughed and nodded towards Sirius.
“Oh yeah, same goes for you Sirius. Peter and I have decided we’ve had enough of this ‘ask Lupin if he wrote down the homework in Transfiguration’, ‘tell Black he should take his own notes’ morning, noon and night.”
“He started it,” Sirius muttered.
“Could you be any more childish?” Remus asked with a glare across the table.
“When I said you should start speaking again, that wasn’t what I had in mind,” James pointed out.
“James is right,” Lily piped up from the other side of Sirius. Remus looked at her in surprise as she nudged Sirius and looked pointedly at the jar of jam.
“Whatever,” Sirius muttered as he carelessly slid the jam across to Remus, who was taken by surprise and missed catching it, causing the jam to spill down the front of his shirt.
“Great, Black, real mature,” Remus snapped as he pulled out his wand to clean his shirt.
“Personally, I think you’re both acting like a couple of first years,” Lily commented. “You’re actually making James seem like the mature member of the group; quite an achievement that.”
James looked like he wanted to respond to the underlying insult, but for once in his life he managed to hold his tongue.
“It’s not like they’re even fighting over anything important,” Peter explained to Lily.
“Not important to you,” Remus muttered. “Black just can’t get his head round the idea that the other him might not be trustworthy.”
“You’re just assuming that because he’s a Black he’s…”
“Oh shut it the pair of you!” Lily snapped. “I don’t know how you managed to reach the conclusion that I care what you’re fighting about, but you’re wrong.”
Remus looked surprised at her vehemence, but Sirius was more than used to this side of Lily and barely batted an eyelid at her tone.
“So, Lily?” James asked. “You are Lily, right?”
“Would you like me to wear a badge or something?” asked Lily with false sweetness.
“Wow! What a great idea. That would be wonderful. Would you?” James replied in all seriousness.
“No, I flaming well wouldn’t,” Lily snapped. “And yes, I’m Lily.”
James recovered himself quickly. “I have a small favour to ask of you.”
“You’re wasting your time,” Remus interrupted.
“I can at least ask,” James replied before turning back to Lily and giving her the shortened version of Sirius’s undercover mission to find out what the others’ mission was. This version not including, of course, the minor fact that Sirius was in his illegal animagus form at the time of his eavesdropping.
“And you want me to ask Severus what this mission is?” Lily asked coldly.
“Yep! Will you?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“You need to take your own advice for once,” Lily replied. “You want to ask Severus something, ask him yourself.”
“You know he won’t tell me anything.”
“And you know who’s to blame for that!”
“He’s your friend.”
“Was.”
“Well, here’s a chance to mend some bridges,” Sirius suggested, earning him a sharp kick on the ankle from James.
“Never mind Lily, I’ll go ask him,” James said with a smile that only widened further at Lily’s look of total utter astonishment.
“Lily,” Remus coughed to clear his throat to get her attention fully. “You know that James is right about this. Snape won’t tell us anything if we ask. And it is kind of urgent that we find out what they’re up to.”
“Not my problem,” Lily replied sweetly. “I kind of like having Lillian around. It was weird at first, and she can be a bit thoughtless and act a little strange, but now she’s settled in, it’s kind of fun.”
“Fun for who?” James muttered, no doubt recalling any one of a number of occasions when he’d mistaken the two girls for each other. “Speak of the devil.”
Remus looked up and saw that Lillian was indeed heading in their direction. “Great,” he muttered.
“Morning, Remus,” Lillian chirped as she sat down beside him, just a little too close for Remus’s comfort.
“Morning,” he mumbled as he edged away slightly.
“Where’s Snuffles this morning?”
“Dunno.”
“You really should take more care of your pet,” Lillian chided gently as she patted him on the knee. “Good job you’ve got me to help out now, isn’t it?”
James glared at Remus, annoyed at seeing Lillian, looking so similar to Lily, blatantly flirting with him. Sirius was simply simmering with jealousy and looked ready to stab someone with his butter knife. Remus squirmed uncomfortably at the not entirely unfamiliar situation. In the two days since he and Sirius had argued, Lillian seemed to have made it her mission in life to flirt with Remus at every available opportunity. At first it had been merely surprising, now it was driving him completely up the wall.
“Do you want to quit manhandling my boyfriend?” Sirius snarled from across the table.
“Ex-boyfriend,” Lillian reminded him. “So, Remus, what are your plans for this evening?”
“Er…”
“We could take Snuffles for a walk down by the lake,” Lillian suggested with a flirtatious wink.
James began to choke on his pumpkin juice at the idea of Remus on a date with Lillian, and Sirius tagging along as Snuffles.
“But I’m not… er… well, I…”
“He’s trying to remind you that he’s gay,” Sirius interrupted.
“Bi,” Lillian corrected. “I heard from a little birdie that you haven’t always liked men and that last term you were seeing Tricia from Ravenclaw.”
“What?” James, Sirius, Peter and Lily squeaked.
“How did you know that?” Remus asked.
“It’s true?” Sirius asked, forgetting that he wasn’t supposed to be speaking to Remus.
“It was only for a few weeks back in October,” Remus explained. “Her parents are pureblood fanatics who used to be in Slytherin, so she wanted to keep it quiet. Me being a half blood might not have gone down too well.”
“You could have told us,” James complained. “Especially if she knows.”
“It’s not like I told her,” Remus replied before turning to glare at Lillian and asking again how she knew.
“Just gossip making the rounds,” she replied. “But that’s beside the point. Now you’re back on the market again, you can just forget about seeing blokes and get back into a nice normal relationship with one of us girls. Why not me?”
“Because he’s not back on the market,” Sirius growled.
“Says who?” Lillian asked.
“Says me,” Sirius replied.
“Maybe if you let him think and speak for himself once in a while he wouldn’t have dumped you.”
“I’ve not been dumped! I’m a Black. We never get dumped. If anyone’s been doing the dumping round here, it’s me.”
“So, you admit you’ve dumped Remus?” Lillian smirked. “So, how about it, honey?” she turned back to Remus with a smile. “Seven o’clock, down by the lake.”
“I’ve got to get to Ancient Runes,” Remus muttered as he bolted from the table, his breakfast unfinished.
-o-xXx-o-
“I take it Snape wouldn’t tell you anything?” Remus asked after James had returned to the common room after dinner that evening. The green colour of his skin and the silver colour of his hair was a bit of a give-away that things had not gone that well.
“Guess we’ll have to resort to Snuffles again,” Peter suggested with a wicked grin at Sirius.
“I suppose that’s my cue,” Sirius muttered as he stalked off to the dorms, returning a few minutes later as Padfoot.
He waited for the smart remarks, but none were forthcoming. Remus barely even looked at him. He contemplated leaping onto the sofa beside him to see if it prompted a reaction, but unfortunately someone had beaten him to it.
“So, how about that walk?” Lillian whispered into Remus’s ear. Sirius’s hearing as Padfoot was more than sensitive enough to pick up on it, and he growled at the two of them. “Looks like Snuffles is a little jealous,” Lillian giggled. “Don’t you worry, baby. No one could replace my favourite doggie. Are you ready for walkies?”
“Why don’t you just take Snuffles for a walk?” Remus suggested. “I’ve got detention anyway.”
“Haven’t we all?” James muttered, as he rapidly searched through his book for the counter-curse to repair his face and hair.
“Surely you’ve got time for a short walk?” Lillian whined.
Sirius watched as Remus began to relent. He knew that look very well, and since it normally appeared when he was pestering Remus into doing something he didn’t want to, he could tell that in about thirty seconds Lillian would be steering Remus out of the portrait hole… unless he did something to stop her. It was time to get enthusiastic about the idea of ‘walkies’.
-o-xXx-o-
Getting Lillian out of the common room without Remus wasn’t too difficult, and Sirius was soon trying to steer Lillian towards the Slytherin quarters, in the hope that she might stop for a chat with Snape and mention the mission again.
Thankfully for Sirius, luck was on his side and as they approached the Entrance Hall Lillian let out a squeal and started tugging him in the direction of the kitchens. She tickled the pear and stepped into the kitchen with a grin.
“I thought I saw you come in here, Sev,” she said with a smile.
“I guess you saw right then,” Snape muttered and he turned his back on her.
“Is something wrong?”
“What could possibly be wrong?” Snape replied coldly. Sirius easily picked up on the sarcasm, but it appeared that Lillian was entirely oblivious to it. Somehow he suspected that he wasn’t going to be finding out about the mission any time soon.
“Is it something I’ve done?” Lillian asked with what sounded like a sob.
“Oh, nothing much,” Snape snarled. “Just flirting with me and leading me on ever since you got here, and now throwing yourself at Lupin at every available opportunity.”
“Oh, that.” Lillian laughed airily and waved her hand. “That’s nothing. I’m not interested in him.”
“Could have fooled me, not to mention the rest of the school including his idiot boyfriend.”
Sirius growled.
“I just need to keep him sweet so he’ll let me take Snuffles home with me.”
What?
“What?”
“Snuffles,” Lillian repeated pointing at the confused Sirius. “Lupin’s got no idea how to take care of him and he’ll be much better off with me. I’m just trying to keep him sweet. I thought perhaps if we were dating, he’d let me have Snuffles to remember him by when I go home. I don’t care about him.”
“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re not logical at all?” Snape asked.
“No,” Lillian replied.
“You’re… you’re…” Snape’s voice trailed off and he shook his head mutely.
Brainless, Sirius supplied to himself.
“I know, it’s brilliant, isn’t it?” Lillian gushed. “My own little doggie will be so pleased to have a friend to play with. And Snuffles won’t be lonely any more.”
I’m not lonely now.
“Can’t say I’m really a dog person,” Snape muttered as he glared Snuffles.
There’s a surprise!
“Does that mean you’re going to follow me home?” Lillian asked as she sidled closer to him.
“I’m still thinking about it.”
“I’d choose you over Snuffles any day.”
Passed over for Snivellus? What was the world coming to?
“It’s not like there’s anything left for you here. She doesn’t want you.”
“You think I don’t know that?” Snape hissed.
“You could step into the life of the other you,” Lillian told him. “You’d be in Ravenclaw. You’d have me. All you have to do is cast the spell to open the doorway at noon on the day after I return home. I’ll be on the other side waiting for you.”
“And if the other me isn’t dead after all?”
“The chances of him being alive are practically non-existent.”
“About on par with the chances of finding this book you want.”
“You’ve still not found any trace of it?”
“Not a word. It might not even exist in this world, and even if it does I don’t think we’re ever going to find it.”
“It exists in my world.”
“That doesn’t mean it exists here. I’ve found all sorts of reports about all sorts of artefacts relating to the founders, but nothing about any old spell book of Salazar Slytherin.”
A spell book? Sirius perked up as he realised that Snape had just told him, without meaning to of course, what it was that the others were looking for.
“Have you looked in restricted section of the library?” Lillian asked. “Maybe it’s mentioned in one of the books about the founders.”
“I’ve looked everywhere,” Snape replied. “Why’s it so urgent anyway?”
“According to Dumbledore, the dark wizard in our world has my world’s version of the book. The spells he’s using are old, ancient even, and we have no idea how to fight them. If we have your version of the book we can find the counter-curses.”
“But even if the book exists here, it isn’t necessarily going to contain the same spells.”
“But we won’t know until we find it.”
“If we find it,” Snape corrected.
“Well Dumbledore, my Dumbledore that is, will be checking in with us again tomorrow night. It’d be nice if I had some good news for him.”
“He’s got rid of Black and Lupin from his world indefinitely, I’m sure that’s good enough news for anyone,” Snape muttered.
“The Sev in my world was actually friends with them,” Lillian said with a smile. “Very good friends in fact.”
“Well, don’t expect me to take over that aspect of your Sev’s life,” Snape muttered.
“So, what part of his life would you be willing to take over?” Lillian asked as she drew closer to him.
Sirius closed his eyes and blindly bolted for the door, before he saw more than he thought his stomach could handle.
-o-xXx-o-
“We have to stop him,” Remus said after Sirius had finished reporting back on his latest bit of spying.
“Why?” James asked. “Snape leaves with the others and we never have to lay eyes on him again… what’s so bad about that?”
“He doesn’t belong there,” Remus pointed out as Peter and Sirius nodded their agreement with James.
“It’s not like he fits in round here either,” James replied with a shrug. “He’ll probably be happier there with Lillian. Leaving Lily for me, of course.”
“In your dreams,” Peter laughed.
“The two Dumbledores will probably make him come back anyway,” Sirius muttered. “Unless he can pass himself off as the other one, which is highly doubtful.”
“I’ll bet he could actually,” Remus replied quietly. “Snape can be quite the actor when it suits him. He’s as good as you at looking innocent when he’s just done something he shouldn’t have.”
“Oh great, back on that again, are we?” Sirius muttered.
“I’m not back on anything,” Remus snapped. “You’re just being paranoid.”
“If you two don’t kiss and make up soon, I’m going to lock you in the nearest broom cupboard,” Peter warned them with a glare.
“You wouldn’t dare,” Sirius replied calmly.
“Maybe he wouldn’t, but I would,” James glared at him. “I’d leave you there as long as it took, too.”
“Just leave it, James,” Remus advised. “It’s quite clear that Black is looking for any excuse to call things off with me. This is the longest relationship he’s ever been in, so naturally he’s now about ready to bolt.”
“That’s not true!”
“Looks like it to me.”
“I don’t want to call things off. I just want…”
“What? Me to stroke your ego every waking minute by agreeing with every idiotic thing you say?”
“No! I just…” Sirius’s voice trailed off as he pulled Remus towards him and kissed him soundly on the lips.
Remus could do nothing but respond to the possessive kiss and he wrapped his arms around Sirius’s neck.
“Er… guys?” James was ignored completely. “I blame you, Wormtail.”
“Me?”
“You’re the one that told them to ‘kiss and make up’.”
Finally the two boys broke apart, smiling shyly at each other and completely oblivious to the other two boys.
“That parcel I was waiting for came yesterday,” Remus whispered with a mischievous grin.
Sirius grinned back. “Room of requirement in ten minutes?”
“Five?”
James turned to Peter after Sirius and Remus had disappeared from the shrieking shack without another word. “Guess things are back to normal then?”
“I guess. Want a game of exploding snap?”
“Sure,” James replied as they made their way back to the common room, both consciously trying to push various disturbing images of their two best friends from their minds.
“So, do you think they’re actually going to do it?”
“I think we’re better off not knowing,” James replied with a shudder.
-o-xXx-o-
Sirius, once again undercover as Snuffles, was sitting in the headmaster’s office, this time eavesdropping on the meeting between the three doubles and their own headmaster. Unfortunately his mind was far from on the current conversation and kept drifting back to the previous night with Remus. As such he missed the conversation turning towards the topic of himself.
“He’s practically a stray,” Lillian said as she knelt on the floor beside him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Ill-treated by his owner and with no one to love him.”
“We don’t normally allow dogs into the school,” the other Dumbledore explained. “They tend to disrupt the cats.”
“He won’t chase them, he never chases them here,” Lillian promised.
What? Wait a minute? Did I miss something?
“You’re sure he doesn’t have an owner here?” Dumbledore asked. “There’s no one who might miss him if he should vanish from this world?”
They’re going home?
“No one.” Lillian shook her head vehemently.
But they’ve not found the book? Why are they leaving? What did I miss?
Sirius looked towards his other self and the other Remus, hoping one of them would point out that he belonged to Moony. Neither of them was saying anything. It looked like it was up to him to save himself and he bolted for the door. He got about three paces when he realised that he’d been so inattentive that he hadn’t even noticed Lillian putting the choker chain back on him again.
“He doesn’t seem very eager to leave with you,” Dumbledore said gently.
“I’m sure he’s just nervous about seeing something new,” replied Lillian and she waved her hand at the bubble doorway that separated the two worlds.
“Possibly,” Dumbledore said slowly.
Sirius tried to tug backwards again, wondering if it would be worth the amount of trouble he would get into if he just transfigured himself back into his human form. Thoughts of expulsion and Azkaban flitted through his mind in rapid succession and he knew that he couldn’t risk it.
“Come on, Snuffles,” Lillian said cheerfully. “We’re going home.”
Oh crap! Sirius struggled as much as he could, but soon found himself tugged through the doorway between worlds.
I’m being dognapped he tried to silently convey to anyone who might listen. Then the portal closed and he knew he was in deep, deep trouble.
-o-xXx-o-
“They’ve gone home?” James asked with a delighted grin. “You mean it’s over? They’re gone for good?”
“There’s no need to sound quite so pleased about it,” Professor McGonagall chided. “Hogwarts, their Hogwarts, is still in grave danger. Their Dumbledore has been removed from his post as headmaster and as such it was thought best to recall the three of them in case they found themselves trapped here permanently. They left a short while ago with their belongings and pets.”
“Pets?” Peter asked. “They didn’t bring any pets.”
“Lillian apparently adopted a dog whilst she was here,” McGonagall explained. “She has taken him home with her.”
“Not Snuffles?” Remus squeaked.
“I believe that was the animal’s name,” McGonagall replied after a moment of thought.
“No!” Remus yelled.
“Mr Lupin, control yourself!”
“But she can’t take Snuffles. He’s…”
“You know the animal?”
“He’s…” Remus looked at James and Peter for help, but they were even more speechless than he was. He couldn’t own up to owning Snuffles to McGonagall. She knew very well who had what pet in Gryffindor house and was well aware that Remus didn’t own a dog. And telling her that Snuffles was actually Sirius was equally out of the question. They’d all be expelled for sure if the truth ever came out.
“Did Snuffles have an owner?”
Remus shook his head. “Not really,” he whispered.
“I’m sure he’ll be well cared for now,” McGonagall said with a smile.
Remus nodded dumbly as McGonagall left the dormitory and the three stunned boys.
“Maybe she found another dog to take home?” Peter suggested weakly.
“Then where’s Sirius?” Remus asked.
For several minutes the three boys sat looking at each other in silence.
“Maybe we should tell Dumbledore?” Remus finally suggested.
“We’ll be expelled,” James whispered. “Not to mention illegal animagi are thrown into Azkaban.”
“And werewolves who don’t take the proper precautions are executed,” Remus whispered back.
“We’re so screwed,” Peter muttered. “How long do you think it’ll be until the teachers notice that Sirius is missing?”
“He has free periods tomorrow morning,” Remus said without hesitation. “But we’ve all got Transfiguration right after lunch and McGonagall will be sure to spot if he’s missing.”
“Wormtail’s right,” James said dejectedly. “We’re screwed.”
“Completely.”
“Totally.”
“Utterly.”
-
Chapter 8