FIC: Hogwarts: All Sales Final 1/34
Title: Hogwarts: All Sales Final
Rating: PG15 for the story as a whole
Pairings: Rowena Ravenclaw & Salazar Slytherin; Helga Hufflepuff & OMC
Warnings: Character deaths
Genre: Romance, humour, drama (first half humorous, latter half drama)
Length: 86,628 words
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.
Summary: The Hogwarts Founders are building the finest magic school in the world. There will be lots of magic and mayhem along the way...and the odd goat thrown in too. But it won't be all fun and games, for discord will creep amongst them and threaten all that they hold dear.
NOTES on rating: Well, I have tried to set this up so that the adult concepts warning is on the relevant chapters - unfortunately although it is set up on the main page correctly, if you are using the links at the end of each chapter to navigate the story the warnings do not come up. There isn't going to be anything graphic in the story, just some innuendo and implied sex, but I am noting it here in case people who are logged out are expecting warnings to pop up whilst navigating.
Chapter 1
“Behold, the village of Hogsmeade!” Godric Gryffindor flung out a sweeping arm in the general direction of the small cluster of hovels that the cart they had been travelling in had stopped near.
Salazar Slytherin hopped down from the cart and cast an appraising look around. “I think the use of the word village is pushing the definition ever so slightly,” he commented as he turned to help Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw down from their seats.
“What do you think, ladies?” Godric asked.
“I think I just stepped in a present one of the hogs has deposited on the…er…I guess you might call it a road,” Rowena muttered as she surveyed the sole of her shoe with distaste.
“I see plenty of hogs,” Helga commented. “Not sure where they’re hiding the mead though.”
Salazar snickered quietly. “So, which of these delightful establishments were you thinking of acquiring for this school of ours?”
“Oh, none of these,” Godric replied with an airy wave of his hand. “It’s this way, come on.”
With that he turned and began walking away from the houses and towards the open hills before them.
“I take it we’re walking the rest of the way,” Rowena muttered as she looked up at the increasingly overcast sky that threatened a coming storm. “I hope it’s not too far.”
“It’s not the distance that worries me, so much as the complete lack of anything resembling a path,” Salazar commented as they trailed after Godric.
The walk was hard going, and only Godric seemed unaffected by the steep incline they soon found themselves navigating. Within a matter of minutes he was forging well ahead of the others. Helga soon began to trail behind the group, stopping every now and then to poke at and investigate various plants and weeds that caught her eye.
“Something’s bothering you,” Rowena commented to Salazar as they picked their way through the overgrown foliage barring their path. Salazar nodded silently in response.
“Look at it this way,” Rowena continued, when it was clear that he wasn’t going to confide in her any time soon, “it can’t possibly be worse than that doxy infested manor house we looked at down in Cornwall last month.”
The memory of their rapid exit from the potential school premises brought a smile to Salazar’s face and within a few moments they were both rolling on the ground howling with laughter as the recollections of that day returned.
“…his face when he threw back the drapes…”
“…smashing that collection of priceless glassware as we ran for the door…”
“…the seller’s face…”
“…nearly trampled him…”
“…the one that wouldn’t let go of Godric’s hair…”
They were still reminiscing and laughing when Helga caught up with them, her arms laden with various types of greenery.
“Any chance you could hold off on rolling in the heather until another time,” she commented with a smirk worthy of Salazar himself as she passed them.
“You’re just annoyed that Wilbur won’t leave his new obsession to come look at premises with us,” Salazar teased as he helped the still giggling Rowena to her feet.
“Quidditch is going to be the greatest wizarding sport ever,” Helga retorted. “You’ll see!”
“Nothing will ever beat duelling for exhilaration and excitement,” Salazar argued.
Rowena listened as her friends bantered and teased each other as they continued wandering on in the direction they had last seen Godric striding in.
They eventually caught up with him standing in the middle of an expanse of green grass near a large, rather murky looking lake.
“He’s not lost again is he?” Rowena asked with an impatient sigh.
“Looks like it,” Helga replied with a sigh of her own. “Too much to expect him to stop and ask for directions.”
“In all fairness, there’s no one around to ask,” Salazar pointed out.
“So, what do you think?” Godric called out as they came into hearing distance. He spread his arms wide and surveyed the landscape with a satisfied smile on his face.
“Very pretty,” Rowena dutifully replied. “But, where’s the building?”
“That’s the best part,” Godric announced. “There isn’t one.”
“That’s what I was afraid off,” Salazar muttered.
“You mean you’ve dragged us all the way up here to look at some dirty old lake and a bunch of mountains?” Helga asked as she brandished a handful of dirty looking roots in Godric’s general direction.
Rowena pinched at the bridge of her nose; she felt a headache coming on.
“Look at that view,” Godric enthusiastically exclaimed. “You just can’t put a price on a view like that!”
“You didn’t?” Salazar asked in a tone that clearly indicated that he suspected Godric had.
“Didn’t what?” Rowena asked, some of Salazar’s apprehension starting to rub off on her.
“We’ll build the castle here,” Godric announced.
“Tell me you didn’t?” Salazar pleaded.
“Didn’t what?” Rowena asked again. She truly hated being kept out of the loop.
“It’ll be great!” Godric enthused as he started to pull various pieces of parchment out of his robes.
“Oh Merlin, you did!”
“Did what?” Rowena practically shouted, which did nothing to help her head.
“He’s bought the land already,” Salazar stated in a knowing tone. “Haven’t you?”
Godric looked up from the parchment he was studying. His earlier expression of excitement was now replaced with one of boyish guilt.
“Come on Salazar, you just can’t put a price on a view like this!”
“Oh, I think someone did,” Salazar cynically replied.
“How much did you pay for this land?” Helga asked, in a worried tone. By unspoken agreement Helga, with her practical nature, had been deemed to be in charge of their funds. Rowena wondered if perhaps they should have had something in writing to that effect…unfortunately it was too late now. A phrase about stable doors and bolting horses sprang to mind.
“This is prime real estate,” Godric evaded.
“It’s in the middle of nowhere,” Rowena pointed out, turning to Helga and Salazar. “How much could they have charged for it?”
“For any other wizard, I’m sure they’d have got it dirt cheap,” Salazar sighed. “But this is Godric we’re talking about. Haggling isn’t in his vocabulary.”
“I’ll have you know I got them to knock the price down by five hundred galleons,” chimed in an offended sounding Godric.
“Oh Merlin, how much did you pay?” Rowena asked as Helga sank to the grass in an apparent state of shock.
Godric’s guilty expression returned as he mumbled a figure that had Rowena join Helga on the ground when her legs gave way.
“We’ll get a refund, it’ll be all right,” Salazar assured Helga as he glared at Godric. Something he saw in the other man’s face however caused him to pause. “We won’t get a refund?”
Godric shook his head. “All sales are final.”
Salazar sank to the ground between Helga and Rowena and put his head in his hands. Rowena thought she heard him mutter something about one being born every minute, but she was still too stunned to form anything resembling a coherent sentence.
After ten minutes or so the shock began to wear off and Rowena and the others crept cautiously across the grass to Godric in order to see what it was he was studying so intently.
“What is it?” Helga asked as she cocked her head one way and then another to try to make sense of the confusion of lines and scribblings on the parchment.
“It’s plans for our castle,” Godric said proudly. “Been working on them all month.”
“You’d never know it,” Salazar muttered under his breath. “Why do we need a castle? I wasn’t under the impression we were expecting that many students.”
“I envisage the school growing and expanding over time,” said Godric in a wistful tone of voice. “No sense in building too small now and having to move location later on.”
“How are you planning on building it?” Helga asked with a frown of worry. She squinted at the plans in the vain hope that perhaps they’d look better out of focus.
“We’re going to build it together,” Godric said. “Every stone will be lovingly and carefully placed until she stands proudly on this spot and welcomes her first students.”
“You do realise some of the upper floors you’ve designed have floor plans that are more than twice the size of the floors below?” Salazar pointed out as he studied one sheet of parchment.
“You’ve also forgot to put staircases in the towers,” Rowena commented.
“We’re wizards, we don’t need staircases,” Godric retorted.
“I think some of the students might though,” Helga pointed out.
“You’ve forgot to include a dungeon,” Salazar commented.
“And you’ve only included two privies for the entire school,” Rowena added.
“There’s no corridor to this classroom.”
“And this one here doesn’t lead anywhere at all.”
“How many towers have you included?”
“The path you’ve mapped out to the village goes right through the middle of the lake.”
“You’ve put the Care of Magical Creatures classroom at the top of one of the towers. Do you really think that’s practical?”
“Is there anything any of you actually like about the plans?” Godric asked in a hurt tone.
“Well, I like the way you’ve put the staff common room fairly close to the kitchen,” Rowena offered after a minute or two of silent contemplation; Helga and Salazar nodded in agreement.
Godric looked at them hopefully, but no other compliments seemed to be forthcoming.
The first spots of the rain that had been threatening to fall since they’d arrived in Hogsmeade fell onto the parchment.
“I guess there’s no time like the present to get started on building,” Rowena said as the heavens opened.
“Just one room will be enough to start with,” Helga commented. “We can work on the rest from there.”
“I vote we start with the eating hall,” Salazar said as he pointed to the large room marked Great Hall on the plans. “It’ll be central to the school and-”
“Yes, yes,” Rowena cut him off. “More importantly, it’ll be dry.”
Godric and Helga were way ahead of her though. Rowena and Salazar stood and watched as Helga made the shrubs in front of them grow legs and move out of the way whilst Godric caused stones to materialise, climb on top of each other and form the walls of the building.
“Perfect!” Godric said as the last of the stones scrambled into place at the top of the wall.
“Not quite,” Rowena said as she pulled out her wand and pointed it at the nearest wall. A moment later a door appeared.
“I just didn’t want to do all the work myself,” Godric huffed as they hurried to the door, seeking shelter from the rain.
“I’m spotting another problem,” Salazar said brightly as they closed the door behind them.
No one needed to ask what the problem was; they’d all managed to spot it this time.
“My turn I believe,” Salazar said as he pulled out his wand and pointed it at the sky.
“Can’t be expected to remember every little detail,” Godric muttered as an arched ceiling materialised above them, finally sealing them in from the rain outside.
The addition of the ceiling meant that they were now in darkness, though a roaring fire in the middle of the room, courtesy of Rowena soon fixed that little problem.
“Stone floor, I think,” Helga said, more to herself than the others as she pointed her wand at the floor and watched the grass morph into sturdy foundation stones.
“Should we have a carpet?” Rowena asked doubtfully. “Children and food is never a good combination when it comes to cleaning.”
“Leave it as stone,” Godric agreed as he pointed his wand high up towards the wall to the left. A flagpole sprouted from the stonework and the Gryffindor banner with the rampant lion unfurled from the same. Three more aims of the wand later and three more banners were hanging from the walls.
“What’s that on the Ravenclaw standard?” Rowena asked as she squinted up at the familiar colours but unfamiliar animal.
“A raven, of course,” Godric replied with a shrug. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s supposed to be an eagle,” Rowena pointed out with a sigh as she aimed her own wand at the banner to remedy this.
“But your name’s Ravenclaw,” Godric pointed out.
“So? The bird’s supposed to be an eagle,” Rowena shrugged. There was no point in explaining; she’d never understood it either.
“You’ve put the Slytherin snake the wrong way round as well,” Salazar pointed out as he pulled out his own wand and aimed it at the green and silver standard opposite the Ravenclaw one.
“I suppose the badger’s eyes are too close together?” Godric asked Helga in a wounded voice.
“No,” she replied meekly. Godric looked slightly appeased as he aimed his wand at the far wall and caused a stained glass window to appear within it.
“I thought the Hufflepuff colours were black and gold?” Rowena whispered.
“They are,” Helga whispered back.
“So change it quick, while he’s not looking,” Rowena hissed.
“It doesn’t matter,” Helga replied with a shrug. “Yellow, gold…they’re nearly the same and its not like anyone will notice.”
As the rain poured down over the Scottish landscape, the four friends studied Godric’s plans and set about deciding how they’d go about building their castle. Godric’s enthusiasm was contagious, and within a few hours they wondered how they’d ever imagined they could find a building suitable for all their unique needs.
Chapter 2
Rating: PG15 for the story as a whole
Pairings: Rowena Ravenclaw & Salazar Slytherin; Helga Hufflepuff & OMC
Warnings: Character deaths
Genre: Romance, humour, drama (first half humorous, latter half drama)
Length: 86,628 words
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.
Summary: The Hogwarts Founders are building the finest magic school in the world. There will be lots of magic and mayhem along the way...and the odd goat thrown in too. But it won't be all fun and games, for discord will creep amongst them and threaten all that they hold dear.
NOTES on rating: Well, I have tried to set this up so that the adult concepts warning is on the relevant chapters - unfortunately although it is set up on the main page correctly, if you are using the links at the end of each chapter to navigate the story the warnings do not come up. There isn't going to be anything graphic in the story, just some innuendo and implied sex, but I am noting it here in case people who are logged out are expecting warnings to pop up whilst navigating.
Chapter 1
“Behold, the village of Hogsmeade!” Godric Gryffindor flung out a sweeping arm in the general direction of the small cluster of hovels that the cart they had been travelling in had stopped near.
Salazar Slytherin hopped down from the cart and cast an appraising look around. “I think the use of the word village is pushing the definition ever so slightly,” he commented as he turned to help Helga Hufflepuff and Rowena Ravenclaw down from their seats.
“What do you think, ladies?” Godric asked.
“I think I just stepped in a present one of the hogs has deposited on the…er…I guess you might call it a road,” Rowena muttered as she surveyed the sole of her shoe with distaste.
“I see plenty of hogs,” Helga commented. “Not sure where they’re hiding the mead though.”
Salazar snickered quietly. “So, which of these delightful establishments were you thinking of acquiring for this school of ours?”
“Oh, none of these,” Godric replied with an airy wave of his hand. “It’s this way, come on.”
With that he turned and began walking away from the houses and towards the open hills before them.
“I take it we’re walking the rest of the way,” Rowena muttered as she looked up at the increasingly overcast sky that threatened a coming storm. “I hope it’s not too far.”
“It’s not the distance that worries me, so much as the complete lack of anything resembling a path,” Salazar commented as they trailed after Godric.
The walk was hard going, and only Godric seemed unaffected by the steep incline they soon found themselves navigating. Within a matter of minutes he was forging well ahead of the others. Helga soon began to trail behind the group, stopping every now and then to poke at and investigate various plants and weeds that caught her eye.
“Something’s bothering you,” Rowena commented to Salazar as they picked their way through the overgrown foliage barring their path. Salazar nodded silently in response.
“Look at it this way,” Rowena continued, when it was clear that he wasn’t going to confide in her any time soon, “it can’t possibly be worse than that doxy infested manor house we looked at down in Cornwall last month.”
The memory of their rapid exit from the potential school premises brought a smile to Salazar’s face and within a few moments they were both rolling on the ground howling with laughter as the recollections of that day returned.
“…his face when he threw back the drapes…”
“…smashing that collection of priceless glassware as we ran for the door…”
“…the seller’s face…”
“…nearly trampled him…”
“…the one that wouldn’t let go of Godric’s hair…”
They were still reminiscing and laughing when Helga caught up with them, her arms laden with various types of greenery.
“Any chance you could hold off on rolling in the heather until another time,” she commented with a smirk worthy of Salazar himself as she passed them.
“You’re just annoyed that Wilbur won’t leave his new obsession to come look at premises with us,” Salazar teased as he helped the still giggling Rowena to her feet.
“Quidditch is going to be the greatest wizarding sport ever,” Helga retorted. “You’ll see!”
“Nothing will ever beat duelling for exhilaration and excitement,” Salazar argued.
Rowena listened as her friends bantered and teased each other as they continued wandering on in the direction they had last seen Godric striding in.
They eventually caught up with him standing in the middle of an expanse of green grass near a large, rather murky looking lake.
“He’s not lost again is he?” Rowena asked with an impatient sigh.
“Looks like it,” Helga replied with a sigh of her own. “Too much to expect him to stop and ask for directions.”
“In all fairness, there’s no one around to ask,” Salazar pointed out.
“So, what do you think?” Godric called out as they came into hearing distance. He spread his arms wide and surveyed the landscape with a satisfied smile on his face.
“Very pretty,” Rowena dutifully replied. “But, where’s the building?”
“That’s the best part,” Godric announced. “There isn’t one.”
“That’s what I was afraid off,” Salazar muttered.
“You mean you’ve dragged us all the way up here to look at some dirty old lake and a bunch of mountains?” Helga asked as she brandished a handful of dirty looking roots in Godric’s general direction.
Rowena pinched at the bridge of her nose; she felt a headache coming on.
“Look at that view,” Godric enthusiastically exclaimed. “You just can’t put a price on a view like that!”
“You didn’t?” Salazar asked in a tone that clearly indicated that he suspected Godric had.
“Didn’t what?” Rowena asked, some of Salazar’s apprehension starting to rub off on her.
“We’ll build the castle here,” Godric announced.
“Tell me you didn’t?” Salazar pleaded.
“Didn’t what?” Rowena asked again. She truly hated being kept out of the loop.
“It’ll be great!” Godric enthused as he started to pull various pieces of parchment out of his robes.
“Oh Merlin, you did!”
“Did what?” Rowena practically shouted, which did nothing to help her head.
“He’s bought the land already,” Salazar stated in a knowing tone. “Haven’t you?”
Godric looked up from the parchment he was studying. His earlier expression of excitement was now replaced with one of boyish guilt.
“Come on Salazar, you just can’t put a price on a view like this!”
“Oh, I think someone did,” Salazar cynically replied.
“How much did you pay for this land?” Helga asked, in a worried tone. By unspoken agreement Helga, with her practical nature, had been deemed to be in charge of their funds. Rowena wondered if perhaps they should have had something in writing to that effect…unfortunately it was too late now. A phrase about stable doors and bolting horses sprang to mind.
“This is prime real estate,” Godric evaded.
“It’s in the middle of nowhere,” Rowena pointed out, turning to Helga and Salazar. “How much could they have charged for it?”
“For any other wizard, I’m sure they’d have got it dirt cheap,” Salazar sighed. “But this is Godric we’re talking about. Haggling isn’t in his vocabulary.”
“I’ll have you know I got them to knock the price down by five hundred galleons,” chimed in an offended sounding Godric.
“Oh Merlin, how much did you pay?” Rowena asked as Helga sank to the grass in an apparent state of shock.
Godric’s guilty expression returned as he mumbled a figure that had Rowena join Helga on the ground when her legs gave way.
“We’ll get a refund, it’ll be all right,” Salazar assured Helga as he glared at Godric. Something he saw in the other man’s face however caused him to pause. “We won’t get a refund?”
Godric shook his head. “All sales are final.”
Salazar sank to the ground between Helga and Rowena and put his head in his hands. Rowena thought she heard him mutter something about one being born every minute, but she was still too stunned to form anything resembling a coherent sentence.
After ten minutes or so the shock began to wear off and Rowena and the others crept cautiously across the grass to Godric in order to see what it was he was studying so intently.
“What is it?” Helga asked as she cocked her head one way and then another to try to make sense of the confusion of lines and scribblings on the parchment.
“It’s plans for our castle,” Godric said proudly. “Been working on them all month.”
“You’d never know it,” Salazar muttered under his breath. “Why do we need a castle? I wasn’t under the impression we were expecting that many students.”
“I envisage the school growing and expanding over time,” said Godric in a wistful tone of voice. “No sense in building too small now and having to move location later on.”
“How are you planning on building it?” Helga asked with a frown of worry. She squinted at the plans in the vain hope that perhaps they’d look better out of focus.
“We’re going to build it together,” Godric said. “Every stone will be lovingly and carefully placed until she stands proudly on this spot and welcomes her first students.”
“You do realise some of the upper floors you’ve designed have floor plans that are more than twice the size of the floors below?” Salazar pointed out as he studied one sheet of parchment.
“You’ve also forgot to put staircases in the towers,” Rowena commented.
“We’re wizards, we don’t need staircases,” Godric retorted.
“I think some of the students might though,” Helga pointed out.
“You’ve forgot to include a dungeon,” Salazar commented.
“And you’ve only included two privies for the entire school,” Rowena added.
“There’s no corridor to this classroom.”
“And this one here doesn’t lead anywhere at all.”
“How many towers have you included?”
“The path you’ve mapped out to the village goes right through the middle of the lake.”
“You’ve put the Care of Magical Creatures classroom at the top of one of the towers. Do you really think that’s practical?”
“Is there anything any of you actually like about the plans?” Godric asked in a hurt tone.
“Well, I like the way you’ve put the staff common room fairly close to the kitchen,” Rowena offered after a minute or two of silent contemplation; Helga and Salazar nodded in agreement.
Godric looked at them hopefully, but no other compliments seemed to be forthcoming.
The first spots of the rain that had been threatening to fall since they’d arrived in Hogsmeade fell onto the parchment.
“I guess there’s no time like the present to get started on building,” Rowena said as the heavens opened.
“Just one room will be enough to start with,” Helga commented. “We can work on the rest from there.”
“I vote we start with the eating hall,” Salazar said as he pointed to the large room marked Great Hall on the plans. “It’ll be central to the school and-”
“Yes, yes,” Rowena cut him off. “More importantly, it’ll be dry.”
Godric and Helga were way ahead of her though. Rowena and Salazar stood and watched as Helga made the shrubs in front of them grow legs and move out of the way whilst Godric caused stones to materialise, climb on top of each other and form the walls of the building.
“Perfect!” Godric said as the last of the stones scrambled into place at the top of the wall.
“Not quite,” Rowena said as she pulled out her wand and pointed it at the nearest wall. A moment later a door appeared.
“I just didn’t want to do all the work myself,” Godric huffed as they hurried to the door, seeking shelter from the rain.
“I’m spotting another problem,” Salazar said brightly as they closed the door behind them.
No one needed to ask what the problem was; they’d all managed to spot it this time.
“My turn I believe,” Salazar said as he pulled out his wand and pointed it at the sky.
“Can’t be expected to remember every little detail,” Godric muttered as an arched ceiling materialised above them, finally sealing them in from the rain outside.
The addition of the ceiling meant that they were now in darkness, though a roaring fire in the middle of the room, courtesy of Rowena soon fixed that little problem.
“Stone floor, I think,” Helga said, more to herself than the others as she pointed her wand at the floor and watched the grass morph into sturdy foundation stones.
“Should we have a carpet?” Rowena asked doubtfully. “Children and food is never a good combination when it comes to cleaning.”
“Leave it as stone,” Godric agreed as he pointed his wand high up towards the wall to the left. A flagpole sprouted from the stonework and the Gryffindor banner with the rampant lion unfurled from the same. Three more aims of the wand later and three more banners were hanging from the walls.
“What’s that on the Ravenclaw standard?” Rowena asked as she squinted up at the familiar colours but unfamiliar animal.
“A raven, of course,” Godric replied with a shrug. “Is something wrong?”
“It’s supposed to be an eagle,” Rowena pointed out with a sigh as she aimed her own wand at the banner to remedy this.
“But your name’s Ravenclaw,” Godric pointed out.
“So? The bird’s supposed to be an eagle,” Rowena shrugged. There was no point in explaining; she’d never understood it either.
“You’ve put the Slytherin snake the wrong way round as well,” Salazar pointed out as he pulled out his own wand and aimed it at the green and silver standard opposite the Ravenclaw one.
“I suppose the badger’s eyes are too close together?” Godric asked Helga in a wounded voice.
“No,” she replied meekly. Godric looked slightly appeased as he aimed his wand at the far wall and caused a stained glass window to appear within it.
“I thought the Hufflepuff colours were black and gold?” Rowena whispered.
“They are,” Helga whispered back.
“So change it quick, while he’s not looking,” Rowena hissed.
“It doesn’t matter,” Helga replied with a shrug. “Yellow, gold…they’re nearly the same and its not like anyone will notice.”
As the rain poured down over the Scottish landscape, the four friends studied Godric’s plans and set about deciding how they’d go about building their castle. Godric’s enthusiasm was contagious, and within a few hours they wondered how they’d ever imagined they could find a building suitable for all their unique needs.
Chapter 2