FIC: What If? 3/7
Title: What If?
Rating: PG
Pairings: Lily Evans and James Potter and Lily Evans and Severus Snape
Warnings: None
Genre: Drama, Supernatural, Bit of Romance, Bit of Angst
Length: 13,137 (total fic)
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.
Summary: What if Lily had the chance to live her life over again with the knowledge of what had happened before. Inspired by the fabulous do-over novel Replay by Ken Grimwood.
If At First…
Lily sat on the Hogwarts Express waiting for Severus to appear. She knew he would, he did every time. He’d be searching for her, just like he had before.
Sure enough they’d barely left King’s Cross Station when he arrived as predicted and sat down in the seat opposite her.
She couldn’t bear to look at him, not now she knew what he’d done to her and her family.
“You’d better be in Slytherin,” he said, prompting James to speak up from the other side of the compartment.
Lily let the argument ensue. Her cue to leave the compartment with Severus came and went. She remained in her seat and the arguments between the boys continued as they had never done before.
“All the Dark Wizards were in Slytherin,” James sneered. “Who’d want to be in that house?”
“I agree.” Lily finally spoke up. “Sounds like the worst house of the lot.”
She heard Severus’s gasp of shock at her words. She watched as he jumped up and pushed his way out of the compartment. She didn’t follow after him.
He’d chosen his path and she had to do what was best for her family.
Let Severus go join his friends in Slytherin. Let him join the Death Eaters and his precious Dark Lord.
She pushed away thoughts of why she wasn’t trying to save him like she’d tried to save Peter. She’d had over a year to think about what she would do if her latest attempt failed and she found herself reliving her life once more. Unfortunately the pain of Severus’s betrayal clouded her judgement and she could no longer bear to look at her former friend.
She wondered why his betrayal hurt so much more than Peter’s ever had but pushed the worrisome thoughts aside.
-o-xXx-o-
“What did I do wrong?” Lily looked up from where she was laying stretched out in the late autumn sun. Severus was standing over her with an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed genuinely curious and looked nervous. She wondered how long he’d wanted to approach her and how much courage it had taken him.
They’d barely spoken two words to each other in the last two months, only when forced to work together in class had Lily broken the silence she’d maintained in his presence. Even then she’d been curt and hurtful, sneering at the Slytherins with the rest of the Gryffindors.
She sat up on her elbows as Severus sank to the grass at the side of her, waiting for her response.
What could she say to him? How could she explain that she’d pushed away his friendship because of things he hadn’t even done yet? How could she justify judging the eleven year old boy on the actions of the man he’d become?
The bottom line was that she couldn’t explain herself.
“Just stay away from me Severus,” she replied. She stood up, brushed the dead leaves from her robes, then turned and walked away. Severus didn’t follow her and she didn’t look back.
-o-xXx-o-
“Don’t you want to help defeat Him?” asked James in surprise. “You’re so against dark wizards, I thought you’d be all for it.”
He knew her as well as he ever had, Lily mused. She’d never before questioned his resolve that the two of them join the Order of the Phoenix. But now it was the only way she could see out of the mess they were in.
If they hadn’t defied Voldemort three times then their son would never be targeted.
It was plain and simple and she hadn’t imagined that James would still want to join the Order if she expressed doubts.
“I do want Him defeated, but I want our family to be safe. I want our children to grow up without having to fear for their lives.”
“If He isn’t stopped then no one will be safe,” James pointed out. “You’re muggle-born, you could be targeted anyway.”
“There are lots of muggle-borns out there…He can’t kill all of us,” Lily replied.
Lily ducked her head as James looked at her in shock. She’d known it was a long shot and James was right. She did want to help defeat Voldemort, she just wished that she knew that he had been stopped. But as far as she was aware he’d killed her son immediately after killing her and his reign of terror had continued just as before.
-o-xXx-o-
James insisted on choosing Peter as Secret Keeper again. Lily argued. Sirius and James overruled her.
She argued some more but to no avail. They trusted Peter and she had no idea how to prove he was a Death Eater.
There was no point telling them the truth, they hadn’t believed her before and she saw no reason why they would this time around.
As Halloween approached she found herself thinking more and more of Severus and his decision to join the monster who was planning to murder her. She had no doubt that he had joined him each and every time he’d been given the chance and for the first time she was regretting her decision not to try to help him as she’d done Peter.
She’d finally accepted that she’d not tried to help him because she’d been so afraid of failing him as she had done Peter. When her anger had finally subsided she had accepted that by not even trying to help him at all, she had failed him anyway.
-o-xXx-o-
She faced Voldemort much as she had done before. She waited for him to offer her the chance to step aside but it never came.
He killed her instantly, just as he had James.
She wouldn’t have taken the chance to live. Each and every time the offer had been made she’d turned it down, it had never occurred to her to save herself. But as she woke up in the hotel room she couldn’t help but wonder why he’d not made her the offer this last time.
Part 4
Rating: PG
Pairings: Lily Evans and James Potter and Lily Evans and Severus Snape
Warnings: None
Genre: Drama, Supernatural, Bit of Romance, Bit of Angst
Length: 13,137 (total fic)
Disclaimer: I own nothing that you recognise. J K Rowling retains all copyright.
Summary: What if Lily had the chance to live her life over again with the knowledge of what had happened before. Inspired by the fabulous do-over novel Replay by Ken Grimwood.
If At First…
Lily sat on the Hogwarts Express waiting for Severus to appear. She knew he would, he did every time. He’d be searching for her, just like he had before.
Sure enough they’d barely left King’s Cross Station when he arrived as predicted and sat down in the seat opposite her.
She couldn’t bear to look at him, not now she knew what he’d done to her and her family.
“You’d better be in Slytherin,” he said, prompting James to speak up from the other side of the compartment.
Lily let the argument ensue. Her cue to leave the compartment with Severus came and went. She remained in her seat and the arguments between the boys continued as they had never done before.
“All the Dark Wizards were in Slytherin,” James sneered. “Who’d want to be in that house?”
“I agree.” Lily finally spoke up. “Sounds like the worst house of the lot.”
She heard Severus’s gasp of shock at her words. She watched as he jumped up and pushed his way out of the compartment. She didn’t follow after him.
He’d chosen his path and she had to do what was best for her family.
Let Severus go join his friends in Slytherin. Let him join the Death Eaters and his precious Dark Lord.
She pushed away thoughts of why she wasn’t trying to save him like she’d tried to save Peter. She’d had over a year to think about what she would do if her latest attempt failed and she found herself reliving her life once more. Unfortunately the pain of Severus’s betrayal clouded her judgement and she could no longer bear to look at her former friend.
She wondered why his betrayal hurt so much more than Peter’s ever had but pushed the worrisome thoughts aside.
-o-xXx-o-
“What did I do wrong?” Lily looked up from where she was laying stretched out in the late autumn sun. Severus was standing over her with an unreadable expression on his face. He seemed genuinely curious and looked nervous. She wondered how long he’d wanted to approach her and how much courage it had taken him.
They’d barely spoken two words to each other in the last two months, only when forced to work together in class had Lily broken the silence she’d maintained in his presence. Even then she’d been curt and hurtful, sneering at the Slytherins with the rest of the Gryffindors.
She sat up on her elbows as Severus sank to the grass at the side of her, waiting for her response.
What could she say to him? How could she explain that she’d pushed away his friendship because of things he hadn’t even done yet? How could she justify judging the eleven year old boy on the actions of the man he’d become?
The bottom line was that she couldn’t explain herself.
“Just stay away from me Severus,” she replied. She stood up, brushed the dead leaves from her robes, then turned and walked away. Severus didn’t follow her and she didn’t look back.
-o-xXx-o-
“Don’t you want to help defeat Him?” asked James in surprise. “You’re so against dark wizards, I thought you’d be all for it.”
He knew her as well as he ever had, Lily mused. She’d never before questioned his resolve that the two of them join the Order of the Phoenix. But now it was the only way she could see out of the mess they were in.
If they hadn’t defied Voldemort three times then their son would never be targeted.
It was plain and simple and she hadn’t imagined that James would still want to join the Order if she expressed doubts.
“I do want Him defeated, but I want our family to be safe. I want our children to grow up without having to fear for their lives.”
“If He isn’t stopped then no one will be safe,” James pointed out. “You’re muggle-born, you could be targeted anyway.”
“There are lots of muggle-borns out there…He can’t kill all of us,” Lily replied.
Lily ducked her head as James looked at her in shock. She’d known it was a long shot and James was right. She did want to help defeat Voldemort, she just wished that she knew that he had been stopped. But as far as she was aware he’d killed her son immediately after killing her and his reign of terror had continued just as before.
-o-xXx-o-
James insisted on choosing Peter as Secret Keeper again. Lily argued. Sirius and James overruled her.
She argued some more but to no avail. They trusted Peter and she had no idea how to prove he was a Death Eater.
There was no point telling them the truth, they hadn’t believed her before and she saw no reason why they would this time around.
As Halloween approached she found herself thinking more and more of Severus and his decision to join the monster who was planning to murder her. She had no doubt that he had joined him each and every time he’d been given the chance and for the first time she was regretting her decision not to try to help him as she’d done Peter.
She’d finally accepted that she’d not tried to help him because she’d been so afraid of failing him as she had done Peter. When her anger had finally subsided she had accepted that by not even trying to help him at all, she had failed him anyway.
-o-xXx-o-
She faced Voldemort much as she had done before. She waited for him to offer her the chance to step aside but it never came.
He killed her instantly, just as he had James.
She wouldn’t have taken the chance to live. Each and every time the offer had been made she’d turned it down, it had never occurred to her to save herself. But as she woke up in the hotel room she couldn’t help but wonder why he’d not made her the offer this last time.
Part 4