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Justin found an original copy of The Safety of Objects at the book thing. It's one of those books I've heard of but didn't know anything about. The best kind of book to get for free, so I took it home and settled in. Here is what I found: yuppies who see a news report about the crack epidemic and proceed to buy some and smoke it all night while their kids are vacationing in Florida with the mother-in-law; a girl who hides in the linen closet and writes love letters to herself while her mother's "fat club" meets downstairs; a lawyer who showers with a hose in the backyard, thinking this is the America Abe Lincoln had envisioned; a young boy who is kidnapped then returned, angry and confused because his kidnapper told him he wasn't the child he expected; and the amazingly effed up closer A Real Doll about a young man who has a sexual fling with his sister's sentient Barbie and Ken. Full text can be enjoyed by clicking the link, NSFW. Thank god someone writes stories like that. A Real Doll is what I've been waiting to read my whole life, I think. So deranged and matter of fact. I love how the protagonist never questions his situation.