deep breaths
woah so yesterday was a crazzzzzzy day. it was weird. the school day was pretty good overall but all day i just kept having "second thoughts" and it was really confusing. cuz now i dont know what i want. ive heard conflicting stories, but it just seems like such a childish thing to do, not even trying to fix anything. then when i got home from school i get yelled at by my mom because she found out i dismissed myself to study for my ap exam with amie on may 5th. it was liek a month ago GET OVER IT. so that was fun. then i went to coach my little girls in the RAIN. that was so frustrating. we split up and i took 3 girls with me to work on their shot. i kept trying to explain to them wat they were doing wrong and they just werent listening. and it was so frustrating because i was getting soaked and my throat hurt so i couldnt even talk and there i was trying to yell over them. so finally when one of them kicked one of the others balls into the swamp i gave up and made them run. they made good progress with their shots overall though. and its just frustrating because they could have really improved ALOT if they were listening and actually trying. ugh. so then i get home and im cold and wet and i have a ton of stuff to do and i find out my aunt's family is coming over for dinner. which isnt a big deal cuz they always do but i always feel rude when i dont sit there with them. ugh. anyways i excuse myself from the table get some stuff done and then get set to watch 24. cant hear it cuz everyone around me is being wicked loud so i get all frustrated. then i got a call from a friend who was having a really tough time dealing with something. so i went and met her somewhere and tried to cheer her up. it made me feel so bad though because she was balling and i just didnt know what to say. like i had absolutely no advice for her watsoever. it was awful. i just feel so bad when people come to me looking for help and i just have nothing to say to them. anyways so that was my crazy day. i attempted to go to sleep at some point but i couldnt sleep at all. there were just way too many things going through my head (way more then i could even begin to explain in this). and the rain kept me up. and then when i would finally start to drift to sleep the rain would wake me again. i think it stopped raining around 2 30 though so i did fall asleep then for a while. but at around 430 the birds were chirping from the cherry tree outside my window. so that was frustrating too. it was a long day. and it doesnt stop. this week is going to be so busy. i dotn even know wat to do with myself. im gonna go attempt to get some sleep now. but before i do i just want to say that i practiced improvising for like an hour today and i played really good. i was so impressed by the way i played. i had no idea i it in me. i was so proud. too bad i cant do that in front of other people.....