I am pretty sure this sort of thing is constitutionally protected
Dear Mr. Stevens,
Congratulations on your recent achievement! By being named a felon by a jury of your peers, you join other esteemed felons like Charles Manson, Tomoyo Kawakita, Bonnie Parker, Clyde Barrow, Al Capone, and others.
I feel as though you have earned yourself the right to adopt a nickname that better reflects your hard earned status. I have reviewed a number of different options, and would like to personally suggest the Nom de Guerre "The Felonious T.E.D". I feel as though this has a particular ring to it. By adopting this name you make a cultural nod towards the slain Hip-Hop music star "Notorious B.I.G". This benefit will almost certainly work to your favor when you serve time in Federal Penitentiary and possibly meet the inmate known as "Big Squeeze".
Once again, congratulations on your achievement. Your service to your country is admirable, your career representing Alaska commendable. I would like to say you are the preeminent example to Alaskans everywhere, but with Gov. Palin only recently found guilty of abuses of gubernatorial power, and with the punditocracy still divided on precisely how inept she has been as Vice Presidential candidate, I feel as though granting you this superlative distinction is a little premature. Still, you are high in the running for Alaska's biggest fucktard, and this is no small feat.
Congratulations!
Yours Truly,
Raz Barnea.
Poll should I send this?
Let me know if you want your name added to the signatories.