fuck it.
fuck it.im not talking about anything more as far as relationships go cuz all it does is fuck it up.apparently i "lie so much" to tayler even tho iv havent lied to him.whatever.and the apparently lauren's mad at me for supposedly "trying to hook up with bobby stillings" which isnt true at all...i dont like him like that and havent for a while.and i was trying to hook him and tara up!what the fuck? why would i go out of my way and talk to him(tryin to convince him to hook up with tara i might add-again)and shit if i was just gonna hit on him??that makes no fucking since! i have my own damn boyfriend and im not gonna mess around behind his back! i thougt tayler and i had finally worked out our issues...so why would i try to fuck that up again?!i never want to hurt tayler...and what i said on here before was me trying to take my anger out cuz yes,i admit i have been pissed off at tayler in the past.but i hate it when i can't say one damned thing on here without having someone throw it back in my face and say its another fucking thing i did wrong.am i really the bitch people think of me as? am i really such a fucking weight on everyones shoulders? damn...i fucking hate this. i wish that tayler and i could just be happy and there would be no more damn drama!! but apparently im the reason that tayler and i keep messing up and i just want to be able to say to somebody for fucking once "yes im happy.im happy with my boyfriend/fiance.im happy with my friends and the lack of drama.im happy just being me.im happy with life." just for fucking once...why not? i mean i really do try to make everything ok.but its not.and i cant help it either.i guess i just naturally fuck everything thats good up.i guess i just ruin peoples lives.i guess that...i guess that i just dont belong here,or anywhere to be specific.and i thought that i'd finally found a place where they accepted who i was and accepted that people make mistakes.i guess i was wrong.