Living the Dream
The thought that we can survive in this life if we just have good people to love and do our surviving with has been one of those ideas that I have held onto, and very dearly at that, throughout my life. In my sheltered ignorance I have found in the past 8 months that my whole way of thinking was a bit skewed, story-book-like even, and that I was only trying to “survive” on the last bit of child-like naivety that I had left within me at age 27. This is growing up.
As it is with any person coming on true adulthood the world shed this away quite quickly and in my new found independence I now know that to survive in this world one must have the money to do so as well as the job to do so. The people, well the people, unfortunately come dead last. Not the story-book ending that I would have liked and not in the least bit exciting or whimsical. This, again, is growing up.
No, real life does not make novels. I have found that only true dreamer-like imagination does. Unless you are that blind fool that drinks his own piss and sleeps in bear laden caves in the middle of the naked wilderness making money on people's bets that you will not make it to the money part, well you are just living for the sake of living. We are all just struggling through life for the sake of making it another year and hoping that those you love and are trying to do your surviving with make it along with you. I guess that is romanticism in its own disheveled masochistic way. Thanks life.
In all the negativity that lies within my words here I believe that I do have a fighting chance in life now and while still struggling it seems to be a more subdued battle. Through my struggling, I have given myself a good job that gives me decent money and that allows me to survive as best as one who needs to survive can. I also have people that I love to do my surviving with and we do love each other very much. We are all going through our respective rough patches but all my thoughts seem to cycle back to that one simple child-like idea that life has tried to abandon from me: if we have each other we can make it through.
Becoming an adult means holding onto optimism as long as you can.