[oneshot] Joon's Gypsy Potion.

[yakiseop]

Title: Joon's Gypsy Potion.
Group: MBLAQ, bunch of other groups.
Pairing: None? Joonho, G.oon, Joomi, Byungdoong, Seungho/Jay Park, everyone-but-Seungho/Joon, etc.
Rating: R.
Warning: Bad English, lame fic, genderswap.
Summary: Changsun wants to be a mother and has a gypsy potion to help him with it. Feminists are pleased...? MBLAQ is not.
N/A: I have no notes for this.



It would have been a perfectly normal day. Yes, it would, as the sun was shining and MBLAQ’s schedule was packed till next morning, and all of them were getting ready to live one more day as a relatively famous idol group. It would have been so normal it’d be rather boring, if only Changsun, who was (supposed to be) about to take a shower, hadn’t produced a sudden small explosion that made a rather pathetic ‘puff!’ sound and filled the apartment with an unknown sweet scent. Seungho, who had been munching his omelette, halted still as his and Sanghyun’s eyes met in suspicion.

“Did you hear this?” Seungho asked Byunghee, who was getting some coffee for himself, afraid of having imagined the whole thing.

“I think I did,” Byunghee frowned, unsure of what was real life and what was just fantasy.

“Hyung? Are you okay there?” they heard Cheolyong knock on the bathroom’s door; so the maknae had also heard that. The three at the kitchen were already getting up to help Cheolyong to forcefully check if Changsun was alive when an ear-piercing scream came from the bathroom.

“IT WORKS!” was what the scream said.

Seungho, Sanghyun and Byunghee strolled a little faster than planned towards the bathroom, where a puzzled Cheolyong faced them, out of a proper reaction. “What was that?”

“’Dunno,” Byunghee answered eloquently, knocking on the bathroom’s door vigorously. “Changsun! Are you alive? What’s going on?”

“Later, have to take a shower!” an unknown voice answered, followed by the obvious sound of a shower starting to run. Four fifths of MBLAQ frowned in unison. That voice sounded like Changsun’s, but most obviously wasn’t Changsun’s, and no one could quite put a finger on what made that fact so obvious. So they waited, having breakfast with a rather palpable lack of real appetite. When they heard the bathroom door open, they immediately turned their heads to the door frame, expecting their missing bandmate to show up and explain. He did show up, with a bright and delightful smile.

Changsun looked completely different. His jaw looked softer, rounder, and his face looked generally smaller, making his hair, which had a towel over it, seem to be longer than it was. He looked shorter and much slimmer, as if his bones and muscles had shrank in the shower; and also, he had breasts. Large breasts, C or perhaps even D cups. Changsun had doubtlessly turned into a woman. Seungho dropped his cup. Changsun just smiled.

“… so,” at a loss of a proper way to inquire what the hell was that, Byunghee said only that and nothing else.

“I’m pretty, am I not?” Changsun twirled on his - her? - feet, obviously way too pleased with that situation. “I got this elixir thing in that gypsy shop near the hairdresser’s place. I’m glad it worked! Manager hyung laughed at me and said it wouldn’t work. Oops,” he put his delicate hands in front of his mouth as if he had made a mistake. “manager oppa.”

“Why did you do this,” Seungho was facing him in terror. Changsun stopped smiling, finally realizing his bandmates weren’t happy for him and actually were very shocked and confused.

“I… want to have kids,” he blinked, probably starting to realize he had done something weird. “I mean-you guys went really well in that Hello Baby thing but none of the kids even liked me, so I wanted to have my own kids and raise them and all.”

“You don’t need to become a woman to have kids, you know,” Sanghyun pointed out, intrigued. Changsun crossed his arms.

“Well, it’s not the same thing, is it?” he said simply, and his bandmates comprehended that he would not change his mind. He wanted babies, and, for that purpose, had switched genders.

Seungho let his head fall down to the table with a thud. Byunghee pinched the bridge of his nose. Sanghyun rubbed his forehead. Cheolyong did nothing; just stared.

“We need to buy him clothes,” said Sanghyun.

“We have priorities,” Seungho hissed, discarding the idea. “We have to find an antidote.”

“I don’t want an antidote!” Changsun objected, frowning.

“We don’t have time for this,” Byunghee paced around the room nervously. “We have to call manager hyung. Changsun has schedule activities and he can’t just show up in female form. We need to have them cancelled.”

The discussion had been going on for a while then. Sanghyun intervened once again, “he won’t be able to go out if he doesn’t have proper female clothing.”

“We can’t buy female clothes now, he won’t use them anymore once we find an antidote,” Seungho once again discarded the idea.

“Excuse me! I intend on living as a woman forever!” Changsun intervened again, growing angrier at Seungho’s insistence.

“Besides,” Sanghyun said. “Who knows.”

“We can’t go anywhere before calling manager hyung,” Byunghee said, finally pulling his cellphone out. “I’m calling him right now.”

At this moment, the dorm’s door swung open, and a familiar ringtone was heard. Manager hyung was at the door, pulling out his cellphone so to answer the incoming call. He saw the caller’s ID and slowly raised his eyes to meet Byunghee’s, confused. Byunghee hang up.

“Is everything okay here…?” the manager asked unsurely. He carefully inspected them, stopping when he finally saw Changsun. “What happened?”

They explained, the five of them at the same time, which turned a rather simple (albeit bizarre) story into a tangle of facts and opinions and speculations. Manager hyung, however, was partially used to that, and was able to make a coherent line of thought out of that. He analyzed the situation carefully, all while staring at Changsun, apparently unable to take in properly that fact that he had actually, in fact, turned into a woman.

“Well, since Changsun has decided to live as a woman,” he started, the gears of his brain working furiously. “Maybe-I mean, we have to talk to the CEO. But I’m pretty sure we’ll end up having a press conference. As for your activities for today, I’ll cancel them,” he studied Changsun’s appearance thoroughly. “In the mean time, I advise you to go shopping for female clothing, Changsun. Not that I think your clothes are unfit for a girl, but, how to say it,” he pressed his lips together, thinking carefully before saying. “You definitely need a bra.”

“What did I tell you? What did I tell you?” Sanghyun claimed his victory.

He lost his sense of enjoyment for being right, however, when Changsun started insisting for him to call Sandara.

“I want to dress like her! She’s in 2NE1, after all,” Changsun argued, playing the innocence card with his dongsaeng. “Please? I’m a girl now, so you don’t have to worry!”

“As if I’d trust you now just because you’re a girl!” Sanghyun strongly opposed. “Definitely not!”

“But who am I supposed to go shopping with?” Changsun gesticulated in despair. “Not with any of you, obviously!”

“Cheolyong’s sisters!” Sanghyun gave the idea. Cheolyong didn’t react; Seungho and Byunghee were trying to shake him out of shock for twenty minutes. “He has two of them! Go for it!”

“What if they have the same fashion sense as him?” Changsun hissed, and Sanghyun was forced by the circumstances to agree.

“Well, you certainly won’t go shopping with my noona,” Sanghyun stubbornly said, putting an end to the discussion. “Find someone else.”

Changsun pouted, disappointed at his defeat. He soon had an idea, though; flipping his phone open, he dialed that familiar number.

“Hello~,” Sanghyun heard him singsong. “It’s Lee Joon! I’ll explain later, but do you want to go shopping?” a pause. A chuckle “Yep. Take Siwan with you, okay?”

Just like Manager hyung had imagined, the CEO decided to have a press conference and then decide Changsun’s destiny based on people’s reaction to the statement. The rest of MBLAQ wasn’t talking to Changsun, due to various reasons; some were upset at Changsun’s selfish decision, some simply didn’t know what to say, and some were fearful for the boy’s (now girl’s) future. Changsun was starting to slide into depression, and not even trying out all the gorgeous new clothes and shoes and accessories (and even lingerie) Kwanghee and Siwan had chosen for him was helping.

They stayed in that unpleasant atmosphere until the press conference. Nothing had been disclosed to the press yet, so, at the moment Changsun went into the room dressed as a girl after being announced as ‘Lee Joon from MBLAQ’, the flashes went off uncontrollably. The rest of the members were in disguise, watching everything hidden from all eyes and years. Changsun took off his hat and scarf in order to show his face more clearly.

“Good afternoon,” his feminine voice was sweet, but serious. “I’m Lee Changsun, who’s a member of the boyband MBLAQ. As you can see, I’m not a man anymore; my body has changed into a woman’s, not by any surgery or treatment, but with the aid of a magic elixir I bought from a gypsy. I have done this on purpose to myself, because, as much as I was happy with my own body as a male, I realized I wanted to have children, and have with them the emotional connection only a mother can have with her kids. While being a male was not emotionally straining to me, I have always feared the possibility of, one day, having children that would dislike me or feel emotionally detached from me,” he made a pause, eyes suddenly twinkling wet. It was just for a second, though; in no time, he was fine again. “Because of that, I’ve done what I’ve done. It was a selfish move, and I might have caused a lot of damage to people I love, so I regret not putting enough thought in it before doing it. That’s all I have to say. Thank you.”

The press bombed him with questions. ‘Is MBLAQ going to turn into a mixed group?’ - ‘Are you quitting MBLAQ?’ - ‘Do you intend to get married soon?’ - ‘Do you consider yourself a feminist?’ - ‘Does Rain know about this?’ - ‘Does this mean you’re a homosexual?’, among other questions that were, in all honesty, borderline offensive. Changsun answered them patiently, showing a serious and responsible side of him that was rarely, if ever, seen. Among the crowd, four men remained sit down and silent.

“… maybe this could help us,” Byunghee was the first to speak up, cleaning his throat. “I mean, he could bring in fanboys. Our sales would grow.”

“And he’d get to endorse skincare and stuff,” Seungho added. “I mean, his skin is pretty good.”

“He could help us to understand girls better,” Cheolyong said, and the other three nodded and hummed in agreement. Soon, however, they fell back into silence.

“Let’s just tell the CEO we still want him in the group anyway,” Sanghyun said straightforwardly. “I don’t think anyone would buy our crap.”

The repercussion to Changsun’s statement was obviously bombastic, but somehow unexpected. Mere hours after the press conference and before anyone could even post any article about it, a feminist organization from Busan (which no one MBLAQ knew had ever heard of) made an enormous statement calling Changsun a ‘hero of gender equality’ and ‘incomparably courageous’ for ‘recognizing the transcendental value of being a mother and publicizing its deserving importance’. They supported his actions fully and even sent him an impossibly huge bouquet, which Changsun cried over (and quite profusely). Most of the backslash was directed to things the organization said in the statement, which redirected most of the discussions about the happening to feminist matters rather than Changsun’s actual sex change. As for the fans, Changsun got a lot of disappointed messages at first, but there had been a sudden burst of ‘real-fans-don’t-care-if-you’re-a-man-or-woman’ comments and, in the end, the outcome had been general supportive. Because of that, Changsun was allowed to remain a member of MBLAQ.

“You were incredibly lucky, and don’t think you’d have it so easy if you do something like this again,” Manager hyung scolded him.

“As for now, what are we going to do?” Sanghyun interrupted the scolding, not moving his head as he was getting his hair done. “About performances and all. Hyung won’t fit in his costume anymore.”

“We’ve thought about that,” Manager hyung pushed his glasses up his nose. “A new costume has already been made. Since Changsun is a girl now, they have rethought the outfit to express more femininity and sexiness. Here it is.”

With a rather unspectacular movement, Manager hyung pulled Changsun’s new outfit from a box he had been carrying around. Changsun and Sanghyun stared at the costume. It was a perfect replica of their usual costumes, made in leather and all - only it ended in a short somewhat frilly skirt, and it coupled with high black leather boots.

“Hyung, no,” Sanghyun looked at their manager, searching for any signs of that being a joke. “No.”

The CEO had a private meeting with Changsun a week after the statement. When he arrived at the dorm, dressed in his cute Hello Kitty sweater and skinny jeans, Seungho immediately asked how had it gone.

“Well. He said I’m forbidden of getting married anytime soon and told me not to even think of dating random men,” he answered, taking off his white boots. “But if I introduce them to him first, it’ll be fine.”

Sometimes, Seungho asked himself if their CEO was nuts. “So no babies for now, huh,” he commented.

“He didn’t say a thing about babies,” Changsun smiled, and Seungho frowned. He couldn’t possibly mean…

“Please think well before doing anything, Changsun,” Seungho used his most severe voice, sure it’d be effective. It was. Changsun lowered his head humbly.

“I will. I definitely won’t bring more problems,” he said. “I just have to do some research, that’s all.”

That statement got Seungho confused, but he nodded anyway. That had been a mistake. That had been quite the mistake.

Hours later, when they were having dinner together, Changsun waltzed his way towards the kitchen, making his breasts bounce slightly under his old, slightly oversized sweatshirt. With an innocent smile on his lips, he sat down right beside Seungho, obviously wanting to say something but behaving a little too shy. Everyone started watching him, including Seungho. Noticing that, Changsun stammered for a bit before chuckling and blushing.

“So, hyung,” he said to Seungho, even though he was facing his own hands. Seungho hummed, his mouth full, indicating that he should go on. “Um… have you thought about being a father?”

Byunghee choked on his dinner. Sanghyun froze. Cheolyong burst in incontrollable, rather painful to watch laughter. Seungho did nothing but stare at Changsun, who blushed harder.

“What do you mean,” Seungho deadpanned.

“Well, I did research,” Changsun said. “I thought that, if I got pregnant from one of you, the fans wouldn’t mind, right? So I did some research to know who the fans paired me more often with. First place was Cheolyong, but he's not an option-”

“Hey!” Cheolyong stopped laughing to object. It was Sanghyun’s time to laugh.

“-and second place was you,” Changsun carried on, unfazed. “I think hyung would be a good father… I definitely wouldn’t mind having your children,” at that, Changsun chuckled again, visibly embarrassed in a cute way. “Um, so…”

“No,” Seungho immediately said.

“But hyung-“

“No,” Seungho squinted his eyes. “Never.”

“Please,” Changsun made puppy eyes at him. “I want my children to be as handsome and talented as you!”

“Flattery won’t do it! It’s a no!” even though Seungho said that, he looked away, his cheeks slightly red. “Definitely not! What are you even thinking?”

Clearly disappointed, Changsun looked down sadly. “I just want to have kids…” he said in a gloomy voice. “If only it could be with someone like you…”

Seungho promptly got up and left the kitchen.

Changsun’s behavior went back to normal. He sighed, frowning. “So it didn’t work.”

“You were pretending?” Sanghyun asked, incredulous.

“Well, not really… but kind of,” Changsun admitted with a sly grin. Sanghyun stared judgingly at him. “Well, I’m sorry! It’s for my kid’s welfare! I have to think of their DNA, you know.”

“Yah, I have a pretty good DNA!” Cheolyong said, still upset. Changsun rolled his eyes at him.

The MBLAQ dorm became a mess. Changsun wouldn’t give up without a fight, it seemed, and was constantly trying to convince Seungho to make babies with him by using several arguments and charts, as well as by wearing rather provocative clothing at home and doing or saying slightly suggestive things when Seungho was around. He had obviously forgotten that there were three other men living with them, and that was just awkward. The fact that Seungho looked constantly about to throw magic fireballs at someone was also awkward, but actually more threatening than awkward.

They were having dinner around the TV when Changsun emerged from the bedroom with some sheets of paper in hands. “Hyung, did you know that nowadays eighty percent of South-Korean families-“

“Jesus Christ, enough!!” Seungho snapped and slammed his phone, which he had been playing with while trying to avoid his female bandmate, on the couch. Changsun stepped back, shocked, but Seungho grabbed him by the shoulders. “Changsun, let me tell you something: I’m gay. I. Am. Gay. I’m a homosexual, as in, I feel sexual attraction for men. Do you understand? I’m gay. I feel nothing whatsoever for women, and that’s obvious, since I’m gay. Which means: I will NOT get you pregnant. Did I make this clear enough for you? Do you need a chart?!” Changsun shook his head, pale. Seungho let him go. “Thank you. Now excuse me as I go back to my closet.”

And their honorable leader stomped away, locking himself in his room, taking the phone with him. No one had a proper reaction for that. Sanghyun turned to Byunghee and whispered, “Did you know that?”

“No!” Byunghee answered, also whispering.

“But hyung!” Changsun suddenly shouted to the closed door. “I’m still technically a man!”

Byunghee decided to stand up for the sanity of his friend. “Changsun-ah, I think it’s better to give up. Let’s respect Seungho’s choices,” he patted his dongsaeng’s bare shoulder - Changsun was wearing a shoulderless pink sweater - not knowing if the gesture was inappropriate or not. “Besides, you have other straight friends, don’t you? Just, um… take it easy on them and I’m sure you’ll find someone.”

At first, Changsun’s expression said nothing. Slowly, however, a smile took over his lips, and his eyes were glimmering when he looked up at Byunghee.

“Okay,” he said simply, twirling his way back to his room - possibly to do some more of his research.

After that, Changsun’s target obviously became Byunghee. He did listen to the man’s advice, though, and soften his approach by giving up on the charts and just using seduction - an artifice Byunghee was known to be much weaker against than Seungho.

“Um, Changsun-ah,” Byunghee decided to be direct after Changsun, dressed in one of his pastel-colored pajamas (that would’ve be completely innocent if Changsun had bothered to button all the way up and not just enough to show a lot of cleavage) offered to massage his shoulders. Byunghee had said yes without thinking, and had forced himself to organize his thoughts after Changsun asked if it felt good. “When I said to go for your other straight friends, I didn’t mean me.”

“But hyung, think about it,” Changsun said in a supposedly sexy voice, leaning forward to whisper into Byunghee’s ear and pressing his plump breasts against the man’s back. “Our children would have your voice and my looks. Doesn’t this sound perfect to you?”

“What if they’re born as clumsy as you and covered in fur?” Byunghee made a face.

“Well, we won’t know if we don’t try,” Changsun’s lips brushed against Byunghee’s ear sensually. It was time for Byunghee to stop that for good.

“Changsun, listen,” he turned around to face his younger bandmate, keeping a safe distance from his lips. “I can’t have sex with you. You and the other three are like brothers to me. I just-it feels wrong.”

Changsun’s expression immediately turned sour. He sat down, pouting gloomily. “What am I supposed to do now?”

“As I said, you have other straight friends,” Byunghee pointed out. “And even if you don’t, we all have straight friends that we can introduce to you.”

“But if I pick someone like that I have to date them, and dating is just too hard,” Changsun shook his head to express his aversion to dating.

“And why is it different with us?” Byunghee was genuinely curious.

“Because you guys are the ones who know me the best,” Changsun confessed. “I don’t have to act cute for you to like me.”

“Well,” Byunghee started, but he didn’t actually have arguments against that. “Well.”

Upon seeing his hyung defenseless, Changsun started smiling again. That couldn’t mean any good… and it didn’t, as Byunghee got to find out, since the next thing he did was slide a hand along Byunghee’s neck and softly kiss his lips. The kiss didn’t last more than a few seconds and was as chaste as it could be, but the way Changsun licked his lips afterwards hadn’t been so chaste.

“I definitely won’t give up so easily,” Changsun announced before walking away, apparently proud of his own slightly vile actions. Byunghee just sat there, partially angry, partially shocked, maybe somewhat turned on. When he turned around, he found Seungho and Sanghyun at the kitchen door, watching everything with instant noodles in hands.

“What,” Byunghee deadpanned.

“Don’t mind us,” Seungho was clearly pleased, while Sanghyun looked sort of… angry? “We’re just judging you. Carry on with your life.”

“Excuse me, this is your fault!” Byunghee accused, reminding himself that, if he hadn’t tried to save Seungho from Changsun, he’d never be in that position.

“What’s wrong with you, Cheolyong?” Sanghyun asked the maknae, who wasn’t visible from the couch. “You look depressed.”

It’d be MBLAQ’s first appearance as a mixed group in a variety show. The stylists were having the time of their lives playing dress-up with him, even though they dressed tons of girls everyday of their lives. Apparently, it was different, as one of them explained to one of the make-up artists, as it involved the delicate balance of feminine and masculine, etcetera. The long time paid off, however, as Changsun looked very charming after they were finished.

“Why, hello,” they found two known faces backstage; BEAST’s Doojoon and Hyunseung were also guests in the show. “I guess it’s the first time we meet, miss. I’m Yoon Doojoon from BEAST.”

“Hello, oppa~ ah, wait, you’re younger than me,” at that, the three of them broke in silly laughter. It wasn’t very lady-like of Changsun, but no one cared.

“I must say, you turned into a beautiful noona,” Hyunseung complimented gallantly, and Changsun giggled, acting charming on purpose. “I’m sure you have been bothered a lot by other male idols.”

“Not at all,” Changsun brushed off sort of bitterly. “People seem to be avoiding me, to be honest.”

“What? That’s absurd,” Doojoon shook his head, looking genuinely outraged at that reality. “So you mean no one invited you out for dinner yet?”

“No one,” Changsun confirmed rather gloomily.

“Then,” Doojoon smiled in a charming way. “Would you allow me to be the first one?”

“…” Changsun blinked several times. “I-sure! When can we-“

“Hyung! Your make-up!” Sanghyun suddenly arrived, inconspicuously sneaking an arm around Changsun’s waist. “They’ve been calling you forever now, hurry up!”

“But-but-“ Sanghyun pushed him toward their dressing room. “Call me, Doojoon-ah! I’d be glad to-“

The door was closed. Sanghyun faced the two other men with flames in his eyes. Doojoon almost stepped back.

“… good morning,” he said somewhat formally, bowing. Sanghyun bowed back, but say nothing before heading to some destination unknown. Hyunseung started to cackle devilishly at Doojoon’s pitiful failure.

It hit Sanghyun after some weeks of similar events happening. Jiho had sent him an e-mail telling Changsun that he had found a pretty good bulgogi place near Block B’s dorm and he’d be glad to take Changsun in an ‘unforgettable night - that’s how good the meat there is, you know’, and not an hour after Jaehyo sent an e-mail warning Changsun about the dangers of going out with Jiho, and saying that, if he had time, Jaehyo could show him how the gentlemen treated a lady. Sanghyun had convinced Changsun to refuse by remembering him that he was still aiming for Byunghee, but it wasn’t like watching Changsun hitting on Byunghee was any easier for him, to be honest. Every time he saw them together, he felt a burning sensation in his stomach.

“I don’t understand,” Cheolyong said once when the three of them were watching Changsun’s advances on Byunghee. The emotions were in conflict, that’s a fact; Seungho loved to watch those and was always smiling, while Cheolyong always looked sad and Sanghyun always wanted to walk over to where they were and take Changsun away from Byunghee. “Why not me?”

“Because you’re the maknae,” Seungho answered simply, eating his sandwich joyfully. “You’re everyone’s last option when it’s about having sex with their bandmates.”

“Even yours?” Cheoloyong asked, pitiful.

“Obviously,” Seungho answered simply. “It’s all about the age hierarchy.”

“So that means that,” Cheolyong frowned. “Even if hyung rejected Changsun hyung for good… he’d still go for Doongie hyung first?”

“Exactly,” Seungho finished his sandwich. “So be patient.”

And while Cheolyong let his face fall with a thud on the table, Sanghyun made a decision. He waited till everyone had gone to bed to silently sneak out from his own bedroom and into the bedroom that used to be Seungho’s and was temporarily being used by Changsun (to Cheolyong’s dismay; “things would be easier if we still shared a room,” he had said, only to get a shower of crushed napkins thrown at him by Sanghyun), wondering if he was doing the right thing. Changsun was on his bed, wearing one of his pajamas and brushing his hair, turning his head to face Sanghyun as soon as he closed the door behind him. He looked at his younger bandmate questioningly.

“Can’t sleep?” Changsun asked. Sanghyun sit on the mattress, staring at Changsun’s confused face, unsure of how to say it.

“Does it have to be Byunghee hyung?” he asks somewhat dumbly. Changsun tilted his head to the side.

“What do you mean?” then, Changsun’s frown slowly morphed into an understanding expression, then into a mischievous grin. “Mm, I don’t know. I have nothing against having cute babies who are good at dancing,” Changsun inched closer, letting his arm brush against Sanghyun’s. “They would definitely rock at dancing, wouldn’t they? And have great abs.”

Sanghyun let himself be pulled into a kiss, gently getting a hold of Changsun’s shoulders and laying him on the mattress. The older man let out a surprised, coquettish yelp at that, giggling as he slowly buttoned down the top of his pajamas, revealing more and more of his breasts.

“Please be kind to me,” he mewled provocatively, biting his lip as he exposed his chest to Sanghyun. Indeed, Changsun had a very sexy body, curvy and smooth to the touch, as Sanghyun found out by kissing his collarbones, but… but still…

“I…” he stopped his own actions, closing his eyes shut and cursing himself. “I’m sorry.”

“Mm?” Changsun blinked, confused.

“I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” Sanghyun climbed off Changsun, turning his back to the older man and burying his face on his hands. “I want to, but… I can’t.”

He heard a rustle of fabric. Then, Changsun asked in a soft voice, “am I not pretty enough?”

“That’s not it,” Sanghyun immediately shook his head. “It’s just… when I see you like that, you look so vulnerable… I feel like I have to protect you,” he sighed. “Even from myself.”

A moment of silence. After a while, Changsun moved to sit beside his dongsaeng, chest already fully covered. He smiled and punched Sanghyun’s head gently. “That’s really cute, but you need to get this sister complex of yours checked up.”

Meanwhile, Byunghee was at the kitchen. That night had been particularly straining for him, as Changsun had decide to watch TV from Byunghee’s lap, all while wearing terribly sexy shorts that exposed his round thighs. Byunghee frowned to himself as he looked for something strong to drink in their fridge. So that was why God had made Changsun a man in the first place. Woman-Changsun was a professional brainwrecker.

He heard a door swing open; peeking into the hallway, he found Sanghyun walking out from Changsun’s bedroom. With his eyes wide, he quickly went back to the fridge, pretending to know nothing. In a second, however, Sanghyun went into the kitchen, looking absurdly tired, and started rummaging through the fridge with him. It was impossible not to ask.

“So did you…” he started, but Sanghyun shot him a look. “Ah, you didn’t.”

“We have nothing but green tea,” Sanghyun stated, unhappy. “And this.”

He lifted a weird soda bottle that wasn’t filled with soda; or, at least, no soda that they had ever heard of. The liquid was purple, had few bubbles and, to be rather honest, looked entirely too suspicious to be soda. They exchanged looks. No one can really drink their problems up with green tea, so…

“Maybe it’s blackberry soda,” Byunghee said, sniffing the thing before drinking a sip. He let it rest on his tongue for a bit before smiling. “It’s good. It’s not blackberry, but it’s good.”

They shared the entire bottle, not minding the lack of alcohol, trying to guess what flavor was that. It was sweet, but somewhat acid, even though it didn’t taste like any berry they knew; also, after some time, it made their tongue sting pleasantly, like pepper. After finishing the whole thing, they decided to go sleep, sure that the next day everything would be alright.

No one had been awake to hear the small ‘puff!’ sounds, nor to smell the sweet, unknown scent.

“Who on Earth just goes drinking stuff that reportedly looks ‘kind of suspicious’ just because it’s in their fridge?!” Seungho was a hairstrand away from raging.

“Well, who doesn’t? It’s in our fridge!” Byunghee shrugged, in an ill mood, and hating his own high pitched voice. “I certainly wouldn’t expect someone to store a gypsy’s potion in the fridge, since that sounds just dumb.”

“I think you guys woke Changsun hyung up,” Cheolyong noted, watching the bedroom door move slightly.

“It’s okay for Changsun to do dumb stuff, because he’s Changsun, but you? I thought you’d know better!” Seungho shook his head.

“I can’t believe you’re blaming me for this! You’re such a jerk!” Byunghee slammed his fist on the wall, face red with anger.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Changsun showed up, apparently scared. He then looked at Byunghee. He saw the soft, longish hair, as well as the slim waist, thin shoulders and generally feminine figure, and blushed. “Hyung?”

“Changsun,” Byunghee snarled. “This is all your fault.”

“You look so cute,” Changsun blushed harder.

“I’m going to kill you,” Byunghee cracked his joints.

“Why was your gypsy elixir in the fridge, Changsun?” Seungho asked, discreetly grabbing Byunghee’s shoulders to stop him in case he decided to attack.

“So it wouldn’t get spoiled…” Changsun trailed off, looking at Byunghee. “You drank it?”

“Both him and Sanghyun drank it,” Seungho explained, feeling Byunghee trying to break free.

“I’m sorry,” Changsun said hesitantly. “But you look really really cute, hyung. If you wanted to have kids with me I would be glad to-“

“Changsun, don’t provoke him,” Seungho censored as Byunghee’s tugs became stronger.

“I’m just saying!!” Changsun stepped back defensively.

“Guys,” Cheolyong emerged from the hallway, excited. “Doongie hyung looks exactly like Dara noona!”

The front door swung open. Manager hyung went in to find everyone still in their pajamas, Seungho holding the girlified version of Byunghee from behind, Cheolyong at Sanghyun’s and Byunghee’s bedroom door and Sanghyun emerging from said bedroom, also in female form and seminaked. He took a minute to comprehend the whole situation. Then, he scratched his head.

“We better make another press conference,” he said simply.

“Unlike Changsun’s case, this,” Byunghee told the reporters, signalizing he and Sanghyun with a gesture. Sanghyun was silent, looking down. “was nothing but the fruit of a careless, disastrous accident. We have nothing against being women and would have enjoyed the new perspective if this had been planned but, for the time being, we’re desperately looking for an antidote.”

A reporter raised his hand. Byunghee nodded, authorizing him to make his question. “Mr. Jung, do you intend to pose for any masculine magazines while in this form?”

Byunghee’s eye twitched. “No.”

“Bummers,” he heard the reporter whisper, and almost threw his microphone at him.

Changsun was still getting invitations for dinner on his e-mail, but Byunghee had found out a way to hack into his account and started denying all of them. Onew had invited him to some ice cream; Minho, a day in Lotte World; Yoseob, some shopping (“I want to buy you stuff that will make you think of me when you see them ♥”) and even those B1A4 kids had sent a proposal of a triple date which Byunghee found thoroughly offensive, despite their polite usage of respectful language. Byunghee had gotten used to write refusal e-mails on Changsun’s behalf by then and politely declined each one of them, citing various schedule activities as excuses.

That was it, until SNSD’s Taeyeon and Tiffany invited the three of them to a ‘girls’ night out’.

He had already written the acceptance message and was about to hit ‘send’ when he noticed Seungho had been watching him, again. This time, he was judging Byunghee’s living light out of him. Extremely sad, Byunghee deleted his message and started to write another one, telling them it was a pity but they had overnight dancing practice on that day. It physically hurt.

Being a girl was confusing for Sanghyun. He had lived over twenty years being the protective only brother that had his sisters on a pedestal, and, suddenly, he had to deal with all the female emotions he had never imagined his dearest sisters had to go through.

“I’m sorry! Are you okay?” an unknown man bumped on him as he came back from the grocery store. Sanghyun had barely felt the bump, but almost dropped his bags, so the guy helped him to hold them, fingers brushing against Sanghyun’s accidentally.

“I’m okay. Thank you,” Sanghyun’s voice came out soft, and a shy smile graced his lips. The man smiled back.

“Do you want help with this?” he offered, indicating the bags in Sanghyun’s hands. The latter shook his head.

“I’m fine. I look small but I’m pretty strong,” he said, making a face while signalizing his (then practically unexistent) biceps. The guy laughed.

“Okay. Take care,” he said before going away, and Sanghyun waved his hand cutely as the man mirrored the gesture.

Then, Sanghyun noticed he had just flirted with a man by acting cute on purpose, and wanted to punch both himself and the random dude on the face, multiple times.

Dara seized the first chance she had and kidnapped Sanghyun, taking him in a shopping spree. Meanwhile, Byunghee was sulking endlessly on the living room couch when he was approached by Changsun. Again. Changsun sat beside him timidly.

“I’m sorry for this,” he said, guilt written all over his face. “I should have been more careful.”

Honestly, Byunghee wasn’t even angry at Changsun anymore and, if he had been, any signs of it would have melted at that moment. Byunghee was a sucker for cute apologies. “It’s okay. I should have been more careful. I’m sorry for getting angry at you.”

Smiling, Changsun snuggled closer to Byunghee, letting his head rest on the older man’s breasts. “Your boobs are so soft.”

Byunghee laughed. “Yours are bigger, though.”

“Say, do you think,” Changsun started, getting suspiciously closer. “You know… everyone says that turning into a woman like this is impossible, but we have done it anyway…”

“Mm,” Byunghee nodded, frowning. He had a bad feeling…

“I wonder if it’s the same with getting pregnant,” Changsun’s legs found their way around Byunghee’s waist. “I mean, they said it’s impossible for a girl to get another girl pregnant-“

“Oh, for God’s sake! OUT!!” Byunghee kicked him off the couch merciless, all traces of sympathy immediately gone.

“Why don’t you give it a try?” Changsun got a hold of Byunghee’s thigh and held onto it firmly. “Am I ugly? Is that the problem?!”

“I’ve told you already! I can’t have sex with you, in any form! I just don’t see you like that!” Byunghee shook him off vigorously.

“What if I were Seungho hyung?” Changsun randomly asked, still trying to hold onto him. “Or Sanghyun? Or Cheolyong?”

“That’s still a no, you dumbass!” finally fed up, Byunghee kicked Changsun away, accidentally hitting his ribs with a bit too much strength. Before he could calm himself down enough to apologize, Changsun started to cry. With tears running down his cheeks and sobbing pathetically, Changsun got on his feet, shaking, and ran away to his room. Byunghee could still hear the sobs from the living room.

From the kitchen, Seungho was watching him again. He had a disappointed look on. “What?” Byunghee asked, tired.

“It’s a shame,” he said, clicking his tongue and analyzing his kimchi. “You’re the first one in my age hierarchy, you know.”

“What are you even talking about,” Byunghee was too worn out to try to understand.

The front door swung open. Sanghyun went in, dressed in completely different clothes from the one he had gone out in and carrying dozens and dozens of paper bags.

“Shopping is kinda’ fun,” he confessed, taking off his shoes. “Did I miss something?”

Changsun was still locked in his room. “He’s starting to worry me,” Seungho confessed to Cheolyong over his dinner. “I think I should check up on him.”

“Don’t do that! I’ll do it,” Cheolyong promptly said. “Maybe if I make him feel better he’ll start seeing me as a man too.”

Seungho smiled at his gloomy dongsaeng. He decided to give him some help. “You know, Cheolyong, I’m gay.”

Cheolyong blinked. Then, he nodded. “You told us.”

“And now, the only one beside me who wasn’t turned into a girl is you,” Seungho carried on. “Do you understand what I mean?”

“… you see me as a man, don’t you, hyung?” Cheolyong grabbed his hands, eyes shining with what could be tears of joy. “You want me, don’t you? You’re not like Changsun, are you?”

“That’s not what I mean!” Seungho freed his hands from Cheolyong’s grip. “What I mean is, you’re clearly the next in Changsun’s hierarchy. Your chance has come!”

“SO IT’S OKAY TO DO IT WITH SANGHYUN BUT NOT WITH ME, HUH?” Seungho almost dropped his food at the soul-crushing scream that came from the hallway. “YOU HATE ME, DON’T YOU?! YOU HATE ME, AND I WISH I HATED YOU TOO!!”

The slam that followed that made it sound like the apartment was going down. Cheolyong and Seungho ran to find out what was going on; they found the door to Sanghyun’s and Byunghee’s bedroom ajar and, inside, the two men-turned-women shirtless on the same bed, Byunghee’s hands on the back of Sanghyun’s bra.

“I’m-I’m just helping him to take this off!” Byunghee promptly defended himself.

“That’s not what it looks like,” Seungho said, amused.

“Why did you make hyung cry?” Sanghyun punched Byunghee’s thigh.

“Excuse me! You are the one who can’t unhook your own bra!” Byunghee was livid. “And you have a sister!! Didn’t she teach you this?”

“Guys, how about the three of you spending the night out?” Cheolyong suddenly emerged from his room, waving his wallet. “I’m serious. Name your price.” He was, indeed, serious.

Cheolyong prepared everything minutely. He had bought a small bouquet and some chocolate ice cream with the little money that his three older bandmates didn’t take, took a shower, dressed up, styled up his hair and put on his best cologne. He had his line prepared for when Changsun answered his knocks on the door, hoping to be able to lead a romantic conversation like the man he wanted to prove his hyung to be.

“I was, uh, kind of worried,” he stammered a bit when his eyes met the generous amount of cleavage Changsun’s top was exposing. He quickly looked up to look at him in the eye, though. “You’re probably going through a hard time, so…”

Changsun accepted the bouquet slightly confused, looking up at Cheolyong with questioning eyes. Cheolyong licked his lips, nervous. “I know you probably don’t see me as a man, but,” he forgot the next part of his line and hand to improvise. “I… despite that, I couldn’t let you all sad and alone. You know. I’m still a gentleman.”

The clumsy line, in some other occasion, could have ruined Cheolyong’s hard work - and Cheolyong himself thought it had, for a moment - but it seemed that his timing was perfect. Cheolyong’s act of chivalry happened right when Changsun’s hormones decided to rage, screaming to Changsun’s brain that he had to have babies at that same moment or else he could die, so it didn’t really matter whatever Cheolyong said to go along with the flowers, actually, as Changsun would have found it romantic and extremely sexy anyway. In no time, Changsun had pulled a surprised Cheolyong into the room and closed the door behind him as they shared a hungry kiss full of tugging and groping.

“Show me how much of a man you are,” Changsun said before falling on the bed and pulling Cheolyong to fall on top of him.

The next morning, when Seungho, Byunghee and Sanghyun went back home, Changsun was getting a glass of water in the kitchen, wearing nothing but Cheolyong’s shirt. He acknowledged the arrival of his bandmates with a grin. “Hi. Where were you guys?”

“Just… out,” Seungho made a hand gesture, a plastic bag full of snacks in his hand. “Are you still angry?”

“I was angry?” Changsun asked sincerely, waving to greet his fellow temporally female bandmates. “I guess not, then. I’ll go back to bed for a while. There’s some ice cream in the fridge.”

And while what he said had not been said maliciously, the giggles they heard after the door to his bedroom swung closed were unmistakable.

Seungho was unhappy.

First, he was a gay man in South Korea. Period. Then, three fourths of his good-looking bandmates, his personal eye-candy for those times when there was no more hope for him in this world, turned into girls, and the one who remained in male form was getting laid pretty much everyday and was rarely seen in the outside world. Now, he had to hack Changsun’s e-mail account and deny the innumerous invitations in his behalf just to make sure Byunghee would not get them involved in some kind of inappropriate activity, feeling miserable for identifying so many names he wished were e-mailing him instead.

He then reached an e-mail from Jay Park. The e-mail talked about some friends of his who had backdanced for him for a while and were crazy to meet Changsun, Byunghee and Sanghyun (there was a picture of them attached to the e-mail; Seungho mentally stamped them with his personal seal of quality) and that, if Seungho and Cheolyong were up to tag along, he knew a nice female friend who was interested in getting to know Cheolyong. As for Seungho, he had added at the end, it might be a pity for him, but there’ll still be me for him to have fun with.

Not batting an eyelash, Seungho e-mailed him back pretending to be Changsun and saying that unfortunately they’d have several schedule activities that day, but also that ‘Seungho hyung’ would be free and glad if he could hang out with him somewhere.

It eventually happened to Byunghee too. There had been no kind of forewarning whatsoever; one day, he was his normal self, receiving updates on the company’s staff quest for an antidote. On the next day, he was staring at Seungho’s ass and wondering if he should accept one of those endless dating proposals just for the fun. In all honesty, he was horny; he had to admit it to himself after admiring his own breasts in the mirror for over ten minutes. He had reached the point to regret refusing Changsun all those times he begged for them to have sex. What kind of idiot would say no to that?

Speaking of Changsun, Byunghee almost dropped the glass he had just grabbed when Changsun went into the kitchen wearing nothing but a bra and shorts. He forced himself not to stare. He forced himself not to stare but still, when Changsun reached for the cupboard to get a glass, he practically shoved his annoyingly big breasts onto Byunghee’s face, and Byunghee was forced to breath in deeply, then out, in order to calm himself down. Changsun, who was now filling the glass with water, glanced at him questioningly.

“Is everything alright?” he asked, and Byunghee shot him a dirty look. Changsun stepped back. “What?”

Growling, Byunghee tore the glass of water from Changsun’s hand, put it down rather violently on the counter, and kissed Changsun. He kissed Changsun so aggressively that he himself could breathe, and he hadn’t even noticed that he had been squeezing Changsun’s breats during the whole thing. As soon as he decided he was satisfied, however, he just shot him one more glare before striding away to his bedroom. Changsun could do nothing but to stand there, flushed and slightly breathless. He then turned around and spotted Cheolyong at the kitchen door with eyes as wide as his.

“Did you see this?” Changsun asked, and Cheolyong nodded, trying to contain, with a hand, the blood that flowed profusely from his nose.

And on that same day…

“Hyung,” Sanghyun called Byunghee as the older man sat on his bed, regretting his impulsive actions from before. “Help me?”

It was his bra again. Only, this time, there was a detail. Byunghee frowned. “It’s a front closure bra.”

“So? It’s stuck,” Sanghyun pouted charmingly. “Help me?”

Byunghee took a nice, deep breath. Then, he started working on the small plastic hook that held Sanghyun’s bra in place, trying not to get distracted by how the younger one’s breasts bounced slightly every time he nudged them accidentally. Finally, after a mentally straining struggle, the hook came off and Sanghyun’s breasts were free, so plump and slightly blushed and Byunghee was staring.

“Do you want to touch them?” Sanghyun offered, biting his lip, flirtatious. “I don’t mind.”

A knock on the door. Changsun didn’t wait for an answer and stuck his head in.

“Whatever is going on there, can I join?” he grinned mischievously.

“Come here already,” Byunghee had an identical grin on his lips as he beckoned Changsun with a finger. Sanghyun licked his lips in expectation.

“Hey! Hey! Can I join too?” they heard Cheolyong shout from the living room.

“We’re going to have a girls’ talk, maknae! No boys allowed!” Byunghee said, and they laughed vigorously. Outside, Cheolyong pouted.

“At least I'm at the top of Seungho hyung’s hierarchy now,” he muttered to himself. Speaking of which, where was Seungho? He had gone out under the pretext of buying some food, and that had been some hours before…

The potion had taken its sweet time to wear off. Manager theorized it could have something to do with the end of the fertile cycle of a woman and et cetera, but none of them understood much about it anyway, so it was the same as saying it was random. The feeling that hit Changsun, Byunghee and Sanghyun after everything was over was a confused, hazy kind of regret.

“The things I did,” Sanghyun summarized the feeling in one gloomy, regretful sentence.

“At least we can stop searching for an antidote,” Manager hyung said, obvious relieved. “I don’t even think we need to make another press conference. Let’s just release an official statement.”

“But I’m not pregnant…” Changsun stated the obvious, apparently very unhappy. At first, the rest of the people in the room silently debated if they should laugh or not. Then, they noticed Changsun was being serious, and Seungho half-hugged him friendly.

“Changsun-ah, the timing isn’t good,” he explained like a good hyung would. “You’re too young, you have too much work, you’re at the peak of your popularity. It isn’t the right moment. If after some time - say, five years, you still want to be a mother that much,” Seungho mentally took a deep breath. “If you still want it, I might give it a try.”

Heavy silence. The manager looked at him in shock. His bandmates looked at him in shock. Seungho was sure that even God was looking at him in shock. Changsun’s shock morphed into tears.

“I swear I won’t even think of babies for five years!!” he shouted, grabbing Seungho’s hands to express his wild emotions.

Sometimes, Joon discreetly deviates from his original path when he’s going home from the hairdresser. He pulls his beanie so it’ll hide his forehead as he reaches those shady streets by the bridge, searching for a familiar place.

When he identifies the familiar sign in green, he smiles to himself and goes back to the main street, resuming his walk back to the dorm. Soon, he tells himself, seeing brighter days in his future.