(no subject)
I worked out why I'm so upset. At least, for this week.
It's obviously because Shuvs gone off to stay with someone else, and part of her going involves her getting... comfort. Because she's not reachable, I'm assuming she's up to all sorts - and she has every right to be - but when I think of her being with someone else, doing things we didn't do for ages into our relationship, it.. well, it hurts.
But it's all very childish. It really is a case of want, a case of 'if I cant have her, no-one can'. I'm jealous and empty. I suppose it's natrual to feel like this, when you see your ex-lover go off with someone else (even if it is for meaningless comfort sex - I'd do the same if I could, especially with my clingyness), but it still feels petty and childish and therefore not really recognisable as a true emotion.
If she were to be properly involved with this guy, well... that'd be a different matter. But again, she has every right, and it's just me being natrually upset.
I just want her to come up for a bit, so I can... well, so I can see her again, and so I can know how I really feel. It's hard to tell what with not having seen since before we broke up. I've looked up prices for the week after I come back from London, but undoubtedly she'll make excuses (valid ones, though) and not come. And I'll still be alone.
It's obviously because Shuvs gone off to stay with someone else, and part of her going involves her getting... comfort. Because she's not reachable, I'm assuming she's up to all sorts - and she has every right to be - but when I think of her being with someone else, doing things we didn't do for ages into our relationship, it.. well, it hurts.
But it's all very childish. It really is a case of want, a case of 'if I cant have her, no-one can'. I'm jealous and empty. I suppose it's natrual to feel like this, when you see your ex-lover go off with someone else (even if it is for meaningless comfort sex - I'd do the same if I could, especially with my clingyness), but it still feels petty and childish and therefore not really recognisable as a true emotion.
If she were to be properly involved with this guy, well... that'd be a different matter. But again, she has every right, and it's just me being natrually upset.
I just want her to come up for a bit, so I can... well, so I can see her again, and so I can know how I really feel. It's hard to tell what with not having seen since before we broke up. I've looked up prices for the week after I come back from London, but undoubtedly she'll make excuses (valid ones, though) and not come. And I'll still be alone.