I love Kami
I love Kami so much. Love consumes me, eats me alive. But i fight it.... scared of the rejection. All my life I have felt nothing short of rejection in every corner. My brain is exploding with words i just can't seem to form. I am in pain. Emotional, heart breaking, aching fucking pain. I can't cure it. I need to do something.... I just want to fell whole. I can't even bring myself to say again because I was never whole in the first place. I am a moody fucking time bomb waiting to blow up in the face of those I truly love. I can't stand my brain... its on overdrive and I can't stop it. None of this makes sense to me. I wish I could get so me help. My friends you dont seem to understand the pain you are causing me... i just want us all to be okay.
I miss LJ. She has caused me so much pain. My heart aches when i think about the fact that i may never see her again... and what? Do you think she fucking cares??? No! She doesn't give 2 shits whether I live die get sick whatver. She doesn't fucking care. She doesn't even have the fucking decency to TELL me she hates me. No she just lets me go on wondering. ACT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT LJ!!!!!!! For once can you just tell me what you think of me? You know what? If you never talk to me again that will be on your concience not mine. You can take it to your grave and it will haunt you forever. Because it already haunts me you fucking asshole. It haunts me every fucking day wondering what if? What if LJ had called me or emailed me? i can't believe you. Yeah I fucking lied. Big fucking deal... everyone make fucking mistakes. I did you did everyone does. You know, Miranda... yeah Miranda who fucking never wanted to speak to me....... were fucking bestfriends now. You know that? After all the shit I talked about her and all the shit she talked about me. We're best fucking friends now. And Mandie? Yeah i stayed at her house the other night. We talked and drank and had a good fucking time. Now if Mandie and I can squash shit then why of all the fucking people who have forgiven me why cant you??????? Your and asshole and a bitch right now. Yeha I fucking said it. Youre acting like a goddamn 10 year old witht his grudge bullshit and frankly i am fucking tired of it.
Anyway... whatever the whole fucking world can be an asshole to me. I dont care anymore.
I miss LJ. She has caused me so much pain. My heart aches when i think about the fact that i may never see her again... and what? Do you think she fucking cares??? No! She doesn't give 2 shits whether I live die get sick whatver. She doesn't fucking care. She doesn't even have the fucking decency to TELL me she hates me. No she just lets me go on wondering. ACT LIKE A FUCKING ADULT LJ!!!!!!! For once can you just tell me what you think of me? You know what? If you never talk to me again that will be on your concience not mine. You can take it to your grave and it will haunt you forever. Because it already haunts me you fucking asshole. It haunts me every fucking day wondering what if? What if LJ had called me or emailed me? i can't believe you. Yeah I fucking lied. Big fucking deal... everyone make fucking mistakes. I did you did everyone does. You know, Miranda... yeah Miranda who fucking never wanted to speak to me....... were fucking bestfriends now. You know that? After all the shit I talked about her and all the shit she talked about me. We're best fucking friends now. And Mandie? Yeah i stayed at her house the other night. We talked and drank and had a good fucking time. Now if Mandie and I can squash shit then why of all the fucking people who have forgiven me why cant you??????? Your and asshole and a bitch right now. Yeha I fucking said it. Youre acting like a goddamn 10 year old witht his grudge bullshit and frankly i am fucking tired of it.
Anyway... whatever the whole fucking world can be an asshole to me. I dont care anymore.