(no subject)
I hate messages that go as follows: "There is not enough free memory to run this program. Quit one or more programs, and then try again." Especially when it is in regard to the memory freeing program that I need to run in order to rid myself of such messages.
This month is over. I am rejoicing. (well, sort of....)
Today was one of those rare days in which I stopped to just look, in so far as I can, at myself. I realized something then.
I was at Dominicks today, and I was just browsing for the cheapest chocolate chip cookies money can buy. A brisk voice came from behind me, at one end of the aisle, "GO BACK TO TERRORIST LAND YOU FUCKING AL QAEDA BASTARD". I first looked over at him, just to catch his line-of-sight, so as to view the person to whom he made the remark to. He appeared to be a middle-schooler (maybe high-schooler), and he appeared to be staring right past me. I looked in the other direction, to see if there was a person at the other end of the aisle. There was no one.
I realized then, that he referred to me. I looked back to where he was standing, but he had disappeared. The first thing that occured then was an annoyance that swept the whole of my mind, stemming purely from the thought that a middle-schooler had the audacity to utter such words of to me. The second was anger, and frustration at his comment. I was enraged as I walked to the check out counter with my cookies. The emotions blinded me only for a second, however, as they usually do, for I found true in the very next second the ailment of my feelings. It was that ever-present consistency, which I love to know--no, rather--which I know to love, as indifference. The single thought, of him full-ablaze, with every inch of his skin burning, and only screams of futility coming from the flame that his flesh created, brought about a comforting warmth in me. I grinned heavily, as I checked out my cookies, and walked out of the store. I was happy again.
I realized something then; it wasn't my mind that had fucked up in its thought; but rather, it was society that had fucked up, from day one of my life.
....as the cliche goes, I wish I could be another person, and live another experience, while I still am so, the very same me.
This month is over. I am rejoicing. (well, sort of....)
Today was one of those rare days in which I stopped to just look, in so far as I can, at myself. I realized something then.
I was at Dominicks today, and I was just browsing for the cheapest chocolate chip cookies money can buy. A brisk voice came from behind me, at one end of the aisle, "GO BACK TO TERRORIST LAND YOU FUCKING AL QAEDA BASTARD". I first looked over at him, just to catch his line-of-sight, so as to view the person to whom he made the remark to. He appeared to be a middle-schooler (maybe high-schooler), and he appeared to be staring right past me. I looked in the other direction, to see if there was a person at the other end of the aisle. There was no one.
I realized then, that he referred to me. I looked back to where he was standing, but he had disappeared. The first thing that occured then was an annoyance that swept the whole of my mind, stemming purely from the thought that a middle-schooler had the audacity to utter such words of to me. The second was anger, and frustration at his comment. I was enraged as I walked to the check out counter with my cookies. The emotions blinded me only for a second, however, as they usually do, for I found true in the very next second the ailment of my feelings. It was that ever-present consistency, which I love to know--no, rather--which I know to love, as indifference. The single thought, of him full-ablaze, with every inch of his skin burning, and only screams of futility coming from the flame that his flesh created, brought about a comforting warmth in me. I grinned heavily, as I checked out my cookies, and walked out of the store. I was happy again.
I realized something then; it wasn't my mind that had fucked up in its thought; but rather, it was society that had fucked up, from day one of my life.
....as the cliche goes, I wish I could be another person, and live another experience, while I still am so, the very same me.