The Storybook Adventure - - Finn x Santana.
Title: The Storybook Adventure
Author: Fufuluff
Pairing/Characters: Finn x Santana.
Rating: PG-13, for mature subject matter.
Summary: He had no idea that she would play such an important role in his book.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, if I did we would have an all Fanta version of Like A Virgin.
Spoilers: The Power Of Madonna. (1x15.)
Also Found: Right Here.
Author Note:
Okay. So this story could be treated as some sort of progression between the two... darlings. (: I simply adore Fanta, and I seriously hope I did them justice in this fanfiction. Anyway, snuggle into your seat, dim the lights, grab your can of Fanta, and enjoy the story.
The Storybook Adventure
He despised her when she told him everything.
His heart thumped a millions beats per second. Words could not express how much he wanted to kill her right now. She was standing there, looking up at him with her usual cold glare. He didn't notice the clouded fear in her eyes or the quiver of her lip. All he saw was an image of hideousness. Their gaze had locked, and she was holding her chin up high and defiantly. He didn't quite pick up how her sigh came out long and shaky. It was a pity; he did not feel when she reached out and laid her unsteady hand on his shoulder. He only felt anger. Anger was churning down in the depths of his stomach and screaming to get out.
"Look," she began, dropping her hand and taking a step back. She kept her gaze focused on the ground as she shuffled her feet and stuffed her trembling hands into the pockets of her trust Cheerio's jacket. "I know... I know you're upset, but-"
"Don't explain anymore." Finn snarled with his fingers folding into his hand and forming fists. He took a step toward her while telling every nerve in his body that he really needed to calm down. It wasn't working. He took one more step toward her, and he didn't catch how scared she looked. How she flinched and gasped while holding her breath. He refused to see how scared she was, how utterly vulnerable she was right now. How dare she suggest something like that? Without even having the courtesy of even asking him first! She was so freaking dead-set on doing it, and she didn't even ask him. How rude could someone be? How completely evil could someone be? He lashed out with his hands without intentions of hurting her specifically. He just wanted to punch something. Caught up in his own frustration and blurring vision, he didn't see Santana bite her lip nervously and take a step back.
"Finn, I have to do this." To him her voice sounded cold. Selfish and mean. But in reality- it was cracking. Her usual clear and outspoken tone was being shattered by the lump of her throat, but he didn't notice that. "I'm not keeping a baby. Do I look like the kind of girl to be able to raise a child...?" She almost sounded like she wished she could be. She almost sounded like she wanted to believe that she could, but she knew she couldn't. Nobody expected her to be a good mom. Nobody expected much of her outside of bed. This wasn't her forte, and she knew it. That fact made her cringe. Was she really all that incapable?
"You don't have to do anything!" He spat, a sudden rage taking over his usual breezy speech. His hands reached up and he placed them on his forehead, letting out a sigh of exasperation. Then he parted his hands and dug his stare into her. The roles were reversed. No longer did he feel intimidated by this girl. Oh no, he felt disgusted to be around her now. "If you think you can just come around here and tell me to bring you to an abortionist, you're wrong!" He finished, hands still clenched at his sides, seething in fury. She nodded with understanding. She should have known. Like Finn Hudson would show her compassion. Of course Finn would want to keep the baby. He wanted to keep Quinn's baby, and he wasn't the father. However, this time he was - and that probably hit him hard. She had to be strong, like she always was. She had formed a cage for herself that wouldn't be unlocked by a... minor, set back like this.
"If you wanted my approval, the answer is no." He choked out whilst grinding his teeth. The tears brimming in his eyes blocked him from seeing Santana's face fall. When he rubbed his eyes only to glare at her, he met sad brown ones. She looked up at him with a searching gaze. That was the only thing he saw: her crestfallen face looking into his with such disbelief. He ignored it. He ignored Santana's one and only time of reaching out for someone else to just hold her. "You're selfish, Santana. You're a selfish bitch!"
"Fuck you, Hudson;" she snarled, "I'm doing it, and that's FINAL."
And with that she slapped him across the face. Hard. When the act was done they both stood there with their shocked expressions. Before she vanished from sight, a tear rolled down Santana's cheek.
He liked her when he apologized.
Finn knew he should really hate Santana Lopez, but he didn't. He had no idea how or when Santana and he started to see each other. He didn't know when it began, but he started to sit next to her in Glee. During his games, he would look into the Cheerio's lineup to see her cheering and would feel his lopsided grin appear on his face. He had come to realize that if you accepted Santana for who she was, you got on her good side. Brittany and - to an extent - Quinn had done that. In return? Santana was somewhat civil (or as civil as she could get) to them.
"I forgive you." Finn had cornered her after Glee one day when everyone else had left.
"Excuse me?" Santana shot back with a menacing glare. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest; she raised her eyebrow at him with sparking curiosity. "You called me a bitch."
"And you..." Killed our baby. He didn't want to say. Why in the world would he say that? He wasn't a total jerk. He couldn't help but let his droopy eyes fall onto her stomach. Through her crossed arms, he couldn't see anything. Knowing that he shouldn't even be searching for it (it was gone, and he knew it) he distracted himself by thinking of other things. For awhile, the two stood there. The awkward silence settled between the two. Her stomach - he couldn't tear his eyes away. Underneath her Cheerio's uniform, he knew it was slim and toned just like always. For a second he longed for her stomach to be round, fully showing that Santana Lopez was going to bear his child. He knew it couldn't happen, so even though his heart was heavy, he mustered up enough courage to let out a small: "You know."
"Right..." She opened her mouth to say something more, but she quickly stopped herself with clamping her jaws shut and immediately becoming dejected. Was she hiding something? Or was she just being plain ol' "put up an act" Santana? She was refusing to look at him, but a beat later- she flashed him a fake smile. "Well. Apology accepted?" She tried, not really sure what to say or what to do next. Instead of bothering to grace him with her presence any longer, she turned around and fled from him. She didn't expect to be chased over, let alone expect Finn to grasp her hand and pull her backwards with a certain urgency that made her feel uncomfortable.
"Isn't there stuff you want to talk about? Stuff you want to say, Santana?" He tilted his head to the side and hoped. Hoped that she would let him help her. It was a dirty business they had both gone through, and it only made sense to talk to each other. He was the father of that freaking child, whether she liked it or not. His eyes started to widen with surprise as Santana slowly started to turn around. The smile she wore was broken. Her incredible signature scowl was wiped away, and she just shrugged.
"There's nothing to talk about," she replied coolly but weakly and with a dip of her head added, "Do you want to talk...?"
Right there, he recalled. Perhaps that was where his adventure began.
He loved her when she told him the truth.
Feet carried him over to the girl's locker room; he lingered there outside for few minutes. Santana had persuaded him to give her a drive home as she said walking would make her tired or something. Like Cheerios practice wasn't worse than freaking walking home. Of course, he didn't mind. She was really hungry lately, all the time - maybe he could bring her somewhere if she allowed it (or if her Cheerio's diet allowed it). Now, he was busy thinking of ways to avoid Rachel the next day so he could maybe - just maybe - take Santana out to lunch. Then he heard it. Oh, the sound had firmly engraved itself in his mind. Many, many, many mornings with Quinn he endured listening to her gasp and groan in pain while hunching over the toilet. He figured it was just one of the Cheerio's doing what they did best - throwing up their lunch - but he began to question his theory when a stream of curse words weaved its way into his ears. Only Santana Lopez would have the ability to let out that many f-bombs in those matters of seconds. Why was she puking! What the hell? She had a bad lunch. No! That couldn't possibly be it. Contrary to what everyone else said - he wasn't a moron. Swinging open the door, he paraded into the girl's locker room. He headed straight for the bathroom portion of it, praying that there were no others girls around. With more force than intended, he started to bang on the door.
"Santana, is that you?" He asked, knowing full well that it was her.
"No, it's the fucking janitor." Definitely Santana.
The lock on the door rattled, and Santana opened it. She placed her hands on her hips whilst cocking them to the side and sticking up her nose defensively. "What the hell are you doing? Last time I checked, you weren't a girl." Because if you were, I wouldn't be in this fucking mess! Concealed behind her hard stare - there was regret and guilt. A river of emotions was flowing and flashing through her eyes, but she wouldn't admit to that. He knew. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or stressed. Defeated or victorious. Everything at this point was just confusing.
"Why didn't you tell me you kept it?" The words stumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. When he was finished, Santana was gawking back at him. She probably thought he was stupid. After dealing with Quinn though - he wasn't that dumb anymore. "I could have - I could have helped you!"
"You don't think I know that?" She snapped, leaning against the side of the bathroom stall door. With a sigh of exasperation, her backside slid down it, and she sat on the floor and hugged her knees close to her body. When Finn took the liberty of sitting down next to her, she did not jolt away from her spot. She realized she liked it. She liked Finn sitting next to her, trying to break into her prison. Shakily she drew in a breath, and as evenly as she could, she stated her facts. "I couldn't do it." Her eyes were fixated on the walls beyond as if trying to find an answer there. Finn turned his head, looking at the profile of her face.
"I could have helped you..." He repeated with his voice a whisper.
"That's exactly it, Hudson." Did he suddenly not own a first name anymore? He thought they got past that! That Santana and he were... well… "You would have helped because of a baby. I'm not Quinn Fabray. I'm not Noah Puckerman. I'm fucking Santana Lopez, and I don't do shit that easily. Admit it, Finn. You would have only talked to me because of the baby. If it didn't exist and we just had sex, you'd be with Berry right now." After her blow up, she bit her lip and - with a more temperate and almost fragile voice - murmured, "I went to the clinic myself, you know. I sat there for an hour so sure of myself. In the end? I'm a coward. I didn't do it, so I decided to test the waters." she smirked, "You passed. I know it was a wrong idea, but I do not need that lecture from you right now." Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Both let the situation settle in. As Finn turned his head to take a peek at her, he saw how delicate she was. How scared and frightened she might be. She would lose everything, and he knew it. Her eyes were glued forward, but she seemed lost. As if she was reading a book and trying to pull out at the right answer. He decided to break the silence.
"So, I passed? With a...?"
"A +."
"Seriously? I didn't fail?"
"Congratulations."
And then he stole her trembling lips into a kiss. It only lasted for a second. It didn't mean anything, as they didn't mention it ever again. And yet, little did he know that from that moment on - his adventure would be coming to a close.
So why now - out of all the times they had been together - did he choose to want to tell her that?
Santana's frail body had been fast asleep for hours, and Finn was lazily sprawled out on the large chair. He had eaten his fair share of hospital food, much to Santana's protest, as she wasn't allowed to eat anything so soon to giving birth. The pair had arrived two nights ago because Santana was surprisingly diligent about keeping track of her due date. Santana - high and mighty as always - had the due date of her baby marked on her calendar. "What, you want me to make a mess on the floor?" She had commented sarcastically with a slight blush to her cheeks when Finn had found out that the date on her calendar was covered with exclamation marks and smiley faces. Everything was going just fine.
"Get me some freaking doughnuts." Santana's voice weaved its way into his ears. It's still crisp and throaty from just waking up. Finn leaned forward; of course those would be her awakening words. He cracked a lop-sided grin before shaking his head.
"No can do," Finn mused which earned an aggravated groan from the girl. It was a wonder why he was here. Somewhere along the line Santana had shoved a medical bill in his face, telling him to get off his sorry ass and pay for it. Then she grumbled and told him that he BETTER be there for the birth because she'd kill him. On a more serious note, he tilted his head slightly to the left and asked, "How do you feel?"
"I didn't feel anything. Because it didn't mean anything." Santana repeated dryly which was followed by a teasing smile, but he didn't know what to say back to that. Why did she do that! To make him feel guilty? Now obviously it meant something. Hell, it meant a lot of things! Why did she even bring up those words? If he could, he would take them back right now. Wait. What? It was true though. He would have taken it all back if he knew that this would happen. She made him happy. Really, really happy. He frowned to himself and opened his mouth to say something.
"Santana, I-" Why did she suddenly look so uninterested? Had he hurt her feelings? He just didn't know how to respond to that. "Santana? H-hey!" He jumped up from his seat, placing his hand on her shoulder to shake her gently.
"Shit," she breathed. Her eyes became blurred with such an overpowering amount of fright that Finn had to process the look in his head for a few minutes. Santana… Santana looked terrified. "Finn... something hurts. Something hurts Finn." Her voice flattened and she started to hyperventilate. A wave of worry came over him.
He knew from the moment that Santana told him something hurt - something was wrong. It was in the air. The fact that the scene was chaotically still. The fact that she was going into labor and nobody was there. With Quinn - they had all attended. Every single one of them sat in the clinic biting their nails and waiting with anticipation. However, right now? It was quiet. No restless pacing of students outside or the silent hum of the Glee Kids as they sung together softly to preoccupy themselves. The blood in his ears were rushing as the doctors flew in through the doors. In a heartbeat they were surrounding them. In two beats he had his hand clasping hers. Squeezing it and lightly rubbing his thumb against her tanned, smooth skin. In three her were eyes fixed on the ceiling as he started to croon softly to her:
"Are you scared?"
"I'm scared."
Now Finn Hudson never thought that Santana Lopez would ever admit something like that so easily. The words came out of her lips breathlessly and swift. Everything was spinning, everything was going so fast. Finn was stuck in a wild ballroom dance. The doctors encircled them and began to tell Santana to breathe. He wondered if he should do the same, but something told him to just keep holding her hand. Abruptly Santana's grip on his hand tightened, and she let out a blood-curling scream. Push! The doctors were telling her, only to receive a waterfall of swear words flying out of Santana's mouth. Her eyes were closed shut, her lashes dotted with dewdrops of salty tears. Finn felt helpless. Was this how Puck felt? Useless? He moved his other hand to enclose Santana's hand in both of his, touching them to his forehead. Her jaw was clenched, whimpering and whining as she pushed. Minutes flew by as the hands of the clock played their ticking song, and Finn was anxious. The doctors were talking over one another, and he couldn't catch what was going on. Something about her looking weak? He wasn't paying attention. Well until Santana threw her head back and opened her eyes with a gasp.
"I need to see my baby!" Her ear splitting cry rose above all the rest. The need and panic in her voice. "I need to see my baby NOW!"
She was told by the doctors that she could not see her baby right now. She needed to continue pushing so the bundle inside of her could come to life. Almost there! The doctors encouraged, as a few of them exchanged glances. What was going on? His heart drummed faster as the doctors started to say things like: "Wait, take it easy. We're almost there." "What's her heart rate?" "Santana, how do you feel?" The last deadly words he could pick up were: "She's loosing this battle!" All topped off with: "I need to see my baby!"
All at once, the doctors closed in. Equipment was flying everywhere, and soon Finn was closed off from Santana which her hand to clutch nothing. His palm felt moist and warm with her sweat. What the hell was going on? Time seemed to freeze as everything slowed down. His baby. No. Santana's and his baby was being passed over to him, beautiful and stunning. Dark hair and lightly tanned skin - a boy. His boy. He smiled, rocking it slightly as he left his seat and started toward Santana. He was ready to thank her and gush to her about baby names and how it looked like both of them, but as the sea of doctors parted, he saw her. Limp. One of the male doctors spoke up in a soft, sympathetic voice. Something about an aneurysm. He didn't care though. He wasn't paying attention to the doctors. His attention was focused on the eyes of gorgeous, frozen doll that lay before him.
"San...? Santana...?" Barely a whisper, his voice was. "Here's our baby. A boy, Santana! A boy! He wants to see - to see you! He wants you to hold him! Santana, please hold him. Please. Please? Please, Santana. Hold him." He begged. Her eyes, they remained open. The deep brown puddles that usually reflected mischief, play, trouble and tease were now emotionless and faded. "Please. Please. I know you don't like me telling you what to do and stuff, but Santana… listen. Listen to me. Hold our baby boy. Hold him." His large, broad shoulders began to quake with sobs. Those eyes - open, staring lifelessly into space - were left searching, searching for the baby boy she would never get to see. The thing that she loved so much. The key that brought them together. He patted her eyelids down so she could sleep peacefully. That was it? Was it really over? He shouldn't have waited. He should have just told her those three words. Maybe that's what she was hinting before. To see if he cared. But he did! He cared so much. The baby stirred in his arms and he placed him next to his mom. Finn could hear the shuffling footsteps as the doctors left the room, leaving him to be alone with his... family. Yes. His family. He reached for her cold hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it tenderly. His adventure had ended, and it was already too late.
Author Note:
Okay. Before you get all pissed at me for not adding: "HOMG, RATED T FOR CHARACTER DEATH!" In the summary, think about how much more impact it had when you didn't know it was coming!
And I'm kind of mean.
Kidding! (Although, if this is a problem, I will add the warning to the summary. (: )
No, I wanted the most emotional destroying thing possible. I hope you liked my shot at it. If you didn't, express so nicely (or in flames, I guess) in a review. Tell me how I did, seriously. I'm looking for feedback. O.O Tons and tons of feedback! Anyway, my sweet lovelies! I'm out~.
Author: Fufuluff
Pairing/Characters: Finn x Santana.
Rating: PG-13, for mature subject matter.
Summary: He had no idea that she would play such an important role in his book.
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, if I did we would have an all Fanta version of Like A Virgin.
Spoilers: The Power Of Madonna. (1x15.)
Also Found: Right Here.
Author Note:
Okay. So this story could be treated as some sort of progression between the two... darlings. (: I simply adore Fanta, and I seriously hope I did them justice in this fanfiction. Anyway, snuggle into your seat, dim the lights, grab your can of Fanta, and enjoy the story.
The Storybook Adventure
He despised her when she told him everything.
His heart thumped a millions beats per second. Words could not express how much he wanted to kill her right now. She was standing there, looking up at him with her usual cold glare. He didn't notice the clouded fear in her eyes or the quiver of her lip. All he saw was an image of hideousness. Their gaze had locked, and she was holding her chin up high and defiantly. He didn't quite pick up how her sigh came out long and shaky. It was a pity; he did not feel when she reached out and laid her unsteady hand on his shoulder. He only felt anger. Anger was churning down in the depths of his stomach and screaming to get out.
"Look," she began, dropping her hand and taking a step back. She kept her gaze focused on the ground as she shuffled her feet and stuffed her trembling hands into the pockets of her trust Cheerio's jacket. "I know... I know you're upset, but-"
"Don't explain anymore." Finn snarled with his fingers folding into his hand and forming fists. He took a step toward her while telling every nerve in his body that he really needed to calm down. It wasn't working. He took one more step toward her, and he didn't catch how scared she looked. How she flinched and gasped while holding her breath. He refused to see how scared she was, how utterly vulnerable she was right now. How dare she suggest something like that? Without even having the courtesy of even asking him first! She was so freaking dead-set on doing it, and she didn't even ask him. How rude could someone be? How completely evil could someone be? He lashed out with his hands without intentions of hurting her specifically. He just wanted to punch something. Caught up in his own frustration and blurring vision, he didn't see Santana bite her lip nervously and take a step back.
"Finn, I have to do this." To him her voice sounded cold. Selfish and mean. But in reality- it was cracking. Her usual clear and outspoken tone was being shattered by the lump of her throat, but he didn't notice that. "I'm not keeping a baby. Do I look like the kind of girl to be able to raise a child...?" She almost sounded like she wished she could be. She almost sounded like she wanted to believe that she could, but she knew she couldn't. Nobody expected her to be a good mom. Nobody expected much of her outside of bed. This wasn't her forte, and she knew it. That fact made her cringe. Was she really all that incapable?
"You don't have to do anything!" He spat, a sudden rage taking over his usual breezy speech. His hands reached up and he placed them on his forehead, letting out a sigh of exasperation. Then he parted his hands and dug his stare into her. The roles were reversed. No longer did he feel intimidated by this girl. Oh no, he felt disgusted to be around her now. "If you think you can just come around here and tell me to bring you to an abortionist, you're wrong!" He finished, hands still clenched at his sides, seething in fury. She nodded with understanding. She should have known. Like Finn Hudson would show her compassion. Of course Finn would want to keep the baby. He wanted to keep Quinn's baby, and he wasn't the father. However, this time he was - and that probably hit him hard. She had to be strong, like she always was. She had formed a cage for herself that wouldn't be unlocked by a... minor, set back like this.
"If you wanted my approval, the answer is no." He choked out whilst grinding his teeth. The tears brimming in his eyes blocked him from seeing Santana's face fall. When he rubbed his eyes only to glare at her, he met sad brown ones. She looked up at him with a searching gaze. That was the only thing he saw: her crestfallen face looking into his with such disbelief. He ignored it. He ignored Santana's one and only time of reaching out for someone else to just hold her. "You're selfish, Santana. You're a selfish bitch!"
"Fuck you, Hudson;" she snarled, "I'm doing it, and that's FINAL."
And with that she slapped him across the face. Hard. When the act was done they both stood there with their shocked expressions. Before she vanished from sight, a tear rolled down Santana's cheek.
He liked her when he apologized.
Finn knew he should really hate Santana Lopez, but he didn't. He had no idea how or when Santana and he started to see each other. He didn't know when it began, but he started to sit next to her in Glee. During his games, he would look into the Cheerio's lineup to see her cheering and would feel his lopsided grin appear on his face. He had come to realize that if you accepted Santana for who she was, you got on her good side. Brittany and - to an extent - Quinn had done that. In return? Santana was somewhat civil (or as civil as she could get) to them.
"I forgive you." Finn had cornered her after Glee one day when everyone else had left.
"Excuse me?" Santana shot back with a menacing glare. She narrowed her eyes and folded her arms across her chest; she raised her eyebrow at him with sparking curiosity. "You called me a bitch."
"And you..." Killed our baby. He didn't want to say. Why in the world would he say that? He wasn't a total jerk. He couldn't help but let his droopy eyes fall onto her stomach. Through her crossed arms, he couldn't see anything. Knowing that he shouldn't even be searching for it (it was gone, and he knew it) he distracted himself by thinking of other things. For awhile, the two stood there. The awkward silence settled between the two. Her stomach - he couldn't tear his eyes away. Underneath her Cheerio's uniform, he knew it was slim and toned just like always. For a second he longed for her stomach to be round, fully showing that Santana Lopez was going to bear his child. He knew it couldn't happen, so even though his heart was heavy, he mustered up enough courage to let out a small: "You know."
"Right..." She opened her mouth to say something more, but she quickly stopped herself with clamping her jaws shut and immediately becoming dejected. Was she hiding something? Or was she just being plain ol' "put up an act" Santana? She was refusing to look at him, but a beat later- she flashed him a fake smile. "Well. Apology accepted?" She tried, not really sure what to say or what to do next. Instead of bothering to grace him with her presence any longer, she turned around and fled from him. She didn't expect to be chased over, let alone expect Finn to grasp her hand and pull her backwards with a certain urgency that made her feel uncomfortable.
"Isn't there stuff you want to talk about? Stuff you want to say, Santana?" He tilted his head to the side and hoped. Hoped that she would let him help her. It was a dirty business they had both gone through, and it only made sense to talk to each other. He was the father of that freaking child, whether she liked it or not. His eyes started to widen with surprise as Santana slowly started to turn around. The smile she wore was broken. Her incredible signature scowl was wiped away, and she just shrugged.
"There's nothing to talk about," she replied coolly but weakly and with a dip of her head added, "Do you want to talk...?"
Right there, he recalled. Perhaps that was where his adventure began.
He loved her when she told him the truth.
Feet carried him over to the girl's locker room; he lingered there outside for few minutes. Santana had persuaded him to give her a drive home as she said walking would make her tired or something. Like Cheerios practice wasn't worse than freaking walking home. Of course, he didn't mind. She was really hungry lately, all the time - maybe he could bring her somewhere if she allowed it (or if her Cheerio's diet allowed it). Now, he was busy thinking of ways to avoid Rachel the next day so he could maybe - just maybe - take Santana out to lunch. Then he heard it. Oh, the sound had firmly engraved itself in his mind. Many, many, many mornings with Quinn he endured listening to her gasp and groan in pain while hunching over the toilet. He figured it was just one of the Cheerio's doing what they did best - throwing up their lunch - but he began to question his theory when a stream of curse words weaved its way into his ears. Only Santana Lopez would have the ability to let out that many f-bombs in those matters of seconds. Why was she puking! What the hell? She had a bad lunch. No! That couldn't possibly be it. Contrary to what everyone else said - he wasn't a moron. Swinging open the door, he paraded into the girl's locker room. He headed straight for the bathroom portion of it, praying that there were no others girls around. With more force than intended, he started to bang on the door.
"Santana, is that you?" He asked, knowing full well that it was her.
"No, it's the fucking janitor." Definitely Santana.
The lock on the door rattled, and Santana opened it. She placed her hands on her hips whilst cocking them to the side and sticking up her nose defensively. "What the hell are you doing? Last time I checked, you weren't a girl." Because if you were, I wouldn't be in this fucking mess! Concealed behind her hard stare - there was regret and guilt. A river of emotions was flowing and flashing through her eyes, but she wouldn't admit to that. He knew. She didn't know whether to feel relieved or stressed. Defeated or victorious. Everything at this point was just confusing.
"Why didn't you tell me you kept it?" The words stumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. When he was finished, Santana was gawking back at him. She probably thought he was stupid. After dealing with Quinn though - he wasn't that dumb anymore. "I could have - I could have helped you!"
"You don't think I know that?" She snapped, leaning against the side of the bathroom stall door. With a sigh of exasperation, her backside slid down it, and she sat on the floor and hugged her knees close to her body. When Finn took the liberty of sitting down next to her, she did not jolt away from her spot. She realized she liked it. She liked Finn sitting next to her, trying to break into her prison. Shakily she drew in a breath, and as evenly as she could, she stated her facts. "I couldn't do it." Her eyes were fixated on the walls beyond as if trying to find an answer there. Finn turned his head, looking at the profile of her face.
"I could have helped you..." He repeated with his voice a whisper.
"That's exactly it, Hudson." Did he suddenly not own a first name anymore? He thought they got past that! That Santana and he were... well… "You would have helped because of a baby. I'm not Quinn Fabray. I'm not Noah Puckerman. I'm fucking Santana Lopez, and I don't do shit that easily. Admit it, Finn. You would have only talked to me because of the baby. If it didn't exist and we just had sex, you'd be with Berry right now." After her blow up, she bit her lip and - with a more temperate and almost fragile voice - murmured, "I went to the clinic myself, you know. I sat there for an hour so sure of myself. In the end? I'm a coward. I didn't do it, so I decided to test the waters." she smirked, "You passed. I know it was a wrong idea, but I do not need that lecture from you right now." Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. Both let the situation settle in. As Finn turned his head to take a peek at her, he saw how delicate she was. How scared and frightened she might be. She would lose everything, and he knew it. Her eyes were glued forward, but she seemed lost. As if she was reading a book and trying to pull out at the right answer. He decided to break the silence.
"So, I passed? With a...?"
"A +."
"Seriously? I didn't fail?"
"Congratulations."
And then he stole her trembling lips into a kiss. It only lasted for a second. It didn't mean anything, as they didn't mention it ever again. And yet, little did he know that from that moment on - his adventure would be coming to a close.
So why now - out of all the times they had been together - did he choose to want to tell her that?
Santana's frail body had been fast asleep for hours, and Finn was lazily sprawled out on the large chair. He had eaten his fair share of hospital food, much to Santana's protest, as she wasn't allowed to eat anything so soon to giving birth. The pair had arrived two nights ago because Santana was surprisingly diligent about keeping track of her due date. Santana - high and mighty as always - had the due date of her baby marked on her calendar. "What, you want me to make a mess on the floor?" She had commented sarcastically with a slight blush to her cheeks when Finn had found out that the date on her calendar was covered with exclamation marks and smiley faces. Everything was going just fine.
"Get me some freaking doughnuts." Santana's voice weaved its way into his ears. It's still crisp and throaty from just waking up. Finn leaned forward; of course those would be her awakening words. He cracked a lop-sided grin before shaking his head.
"No can do," Finn mused which earned an aggravated groan from the girl. It was a wonder why he was here. Somewhere along the line Santana had shoved a medical bill in his face, telling him to get off his sorry ass and pay for it. Then she grumbled and told him that he BETTER be there for the birth because she'd kill him. On a more serious note, he tilted his head slightly to the left and asked, "How do you feel?"
"I didn't feel anything. Because it didn't mean anything." Santana repeated dryly which was followed by a teasing smile, but he didn't know what to say back to that. Why did she do that! To make him feel guilty? Now obviously it meant something. Hell, it meant a lot of things! Why did she even bring up those words? If he could, he would take them back right now. Wait. What? It was true though. He would have taken it all back if he knew that this would happen. She made him happy. Really, really happy. He frowned to himself and opened his mouth to say something.
"Santana, I-" Why did she suddenly look so uninterested? Had he hurt her feelings? He just didn't know how to respond to that. "Santana? H-hey!" He jumped up from his seat, placing his hand on her shoulder to shake her gently.
"Shit," she breathed. Her eyes became blurred with such an overpowering amount of fright that Finn had to process the look in his head for a few minutes. Santana… Santana looked terrified. "Finn... something hurts. Something hurts Finn." Her voice flattened and she started to hyperventilate. A wave of worry came over him.
He knew from the moment that Santana told him something hurt - something was wrong. It was in the air. The fact that the scene was chaotically still. The fact that she was going into labor and nobody was there. With Quinn - they had all attended. Every single one of them sat in the clinic biting their nails and waiting with anticipation. However, right now? It was quiet. No restless pacing of students outside or the silent hum of the Glee Kids as they sung together softly to preoccupy themselves. The blood in his ears were rushing as the doctors flew in through the doors. In a heartbeat they were surrounding them. In two beats he had his hand clasping hers. Squeezing it and lightly rubbing his thumb against her tanned, smooth skin. In three her were eyes fixed on the ceiling as he started to croon softly to her:
"Are you scared?"
"I'm scared."
Now Finn Hudson never thought that Santana Lopez would ever admit something like that so easily. The words came out of her lips breathlessly and swift. Everything was spinning, everything was going so fast. Finn was stuck in a wild ballroom dance. The doctors encircled them and began to tell Santana to breathe. He wondered if he should do the same, but something told him to just keep holding her hand. Abruptly Santana's grip on his hand tightened, and she let out a blood-curling scream. Push! The doctors were telling her, only to receive a waterfall of swear words flying out of Santana's mouth. Her eyes were closed shut, her lashes dotted with dewdrops of salty tears. Finn felt helpless. Was this how Puck felt? Useless? He moved his other hand to enclose Santana's hand in both of his, touching them to his forehead. Her jaw was clenched, whimpering and whining as she pushed. Minutes flew by as the hands of the clock played their ticking song, and Finn was anxious. The doctors were talking over one another, and he couldn't catch what was going on. Something about her looking weak? He wasn't paying attention. Well until Santana threw her head back and opened her eyes with a gasp.
"I need to see my baby!" Her ear splitting cry rose above all the rest. The need and panic in her voice. "I need to see my baby NOW!"
She was told by the doctors that she could not see her baby right now. She needed to continue pushing so the bundle inside of her could come to life. Almost there! The doctors encouraged, as a few of them exchanged glances. What was going on? His heart drummed faster as the doctors started to say things like: "Wait, take it easy. We're almost there." "What's her heart rate?" "Santana, how do you feel?" The last deadly words he could pick up were: "She's loosing this battle!" All topped off with: "I need to see my baby!"
All at once, the doctors closed in. Equipment was flying everywhere, and soon Finn was closed off from Santana which her hand to clutch nothing. His palm felt moist and warm with her sweat. What the hell was going on? Time seemed to freeze as everything slowed down. His baby. No. Santana's and his baby was being passed over to him, beautiful and stunning. Dark hair and lightly tanned skin - a boy. His boy. He smiled, rocking it slightly as he left his seat and started toward Santana. He was ready to thank her and gush to her about baby names and how it looked like both of them, but as the sea of doctors parted, he saw her. Limp. One of the male doctors spoke up in a soft, sympathetic voice. Something about an aneurysm. He didn't care though. He wasn't paying attention to the doctors. His attention was focused on the eyes of gorgeous, frozen doll that lay before him.
"San...? Santana...?" Barely a whisper, his voice was. "Here's our baby. A boy, Santana! A boy! He wants to see - to see you! He wants you to hold him! Santana, please hold him. Please. Please? Please, Santana. Hold him." He begged. Her eyes, they remained open. The deep brown puddles that usually reflected mischief, play, trouble and tease were now emotionless and faded. "Please. Please. I know you don't like me telling you what to do and stuff, but Santana… listen. Listen to me. Hold our baby boy. Hold him." His large, broad shoulders began to quake with sobs. Those eyes - open, staring lifelessly into space - were left searching, searching for the baby boy she would never get to see. The thing that she loved so much. The key that brought them together. He patted her eyelids down so she could sleep peacefully. That was it? Was it really over? He shouldn't have waited. He should have just told her those three words. Maybe that's what she was hinting before. To see if he cared. But he did! He cared so much. The baby stirred in his arms and he placed him next to his mom. Finn could hear the shuffling footsteps as the doctors left the room, leaving him to be alone with his... family. Yes. His family. He reached for her cold hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it tenderly. His adventure had ended, and it was already too late.
Author Note:
Okay. Before you get all pissed at me for not adding: "HOMG, RATED T FOR CHARACTER DEATH!" In the summary, think about how much more impact it had when you didn't know it was coming!
And I'm kind of mean.
Kidding! (Although, if this is a problem, I will add the warning to the summary. (: )
No, I wanted the most emotional destroying thing possible. I hope you liked my shot at it. If you didn't, express so nicely (or in flames, I guess) in a review. Tell me how I did, seriously. I'm looking for feedback. O.O Tons and tons of feedback! Anyway, my sweet lovelies! I'm out~.