everything i've said before im ready to say again
i talk about dreams a lot because i live in them, with you anyways. it gives me more time, lets me spend snippets of a life with you. in the dreams i dont know how its going to end, obviously. its like im an actor playing out a scene, there is no actual end, the director just says cut and its over. this takes away the hardest part of the end: leaving. in my dreams its always last fall, in my dreams we have done horrible things to each other but i cant remember what they are. i get high every night and i lay so still that i feel like theres a huge hot weight on my chest and i think about you. i miss you. in my dreams you taste sweet, in real life you taste like nothing at all. in my dreams i hook my arm around your neck every time i walk by and you feel like home. in real life i hook my arm around your neck every time i walk by and you feel like nothing at all. im still working on reconciling this discrepancy. i loved a hollow shell, someone i filled with fluff ard hard work and tough love. you were just a hollow shell. have you taken any of that shit out yet? are you back to normal? im not, its hard missing half your stuffing. you might be a pretty hollow doll but im a half deflated teddy bear, no one wants something not worth the love and you drained it all out of me. i wish things were different. i wish i didnt want things to stay the same.