I'm sorry to you all

[fudoshin]

I havn't cried like this in so long. I'm trying to do what I think is best, but it's never good enough for anyone. But hopefuly I'm right this time. Only time will tell if this test passes. I only hope I havn't made a mistake, but something is telling me this was the right thng to do, Maybe I've gone mad, mabe I'm not sane, maybe I'm overworked, or

Comments

yo.

[otakon39102]

I haven't talked to you in forever... it would seem like a lot has changed.

I missed you.

I'm nothing great, but I may be able to help because I know the feeling.

You are in the state of having a broken heart, /that/ I know; that state in itself is not bad depending on how it's used, but satan's darkness is pushing it too far for you.

A lot of the stuff said in there is false, but I won't just tell you that, I'll tell you why. You're not a screw up; the very reason for our being on this earth is to grow through trials, and a key part of that is the Atonement of Christ, which would not be needed if we were all perfect. In fact, what is judged is our hearts in the longrun; you can't sin in ignorance, meaning if you don't know it's bad, it won't be counted against you. Your intent is good; you mean no harm, only good.

And about your so-called "cloud of everlasting shame"... When I think of you, that's not what I see. I see someone honorable and respectable, even noble. It's not the shortcomings that matter; it's the humility, grace, and nobility gained from them. The experiences help us grow. And also, through Christ's Atonement, a remission of sins (clean slate in the sight of God) is possible.

This is where a question might arise about how to go about utilizing it. God gives us everything we have; good feelings, good experiences, food, air to breathe, shelter, beauty to look upon, knowledge to gain, and experiences to strengthen us and bring us closer to Him; so what do we give back? The Lord has said that what we can bring Him is a broken heart and a contrite spirit, which means feeling very sorry for what you've done in the past and having a desire to change it. From what you wrote, that sounds to be the case.

I'm facing the uncertainty of the future and the doubt of myself as well. Maybe we can help each other through that one. You may not know, but you've helped me a great deal in the past with your advice; stuff with Kamis, issues with myself, and other things. You help.

And also know that anything you've done to hurt me, ever, is forgiven. I don't feel it anymore, and I never think about it even. When I think of you, I just miss you or think good things, and it never comes to mind.

We can talk more when I get back from my trip next week. Until then, hold on. Seek for good. I know you can make it through, and I pray that you are brought to that knowledge sooner than later.