MY mind is lost and so am I
From now on i am going to let the chips fall where they must.My fate is not in my hands but in the hands of others,and even if my fate is misfortune i may not except it but I will live with it.
anyway
Today is the 3 year anniversary of my grandfathers death,I feel bad because I was busy with other things and i regrettibly didn't give him flowers today,which I do every year on this day,and on his birthday.I feel like I let him down in a way,in fact I feel like i've let alot of people down in my life.My reasons for being seem to be breaking down because of my actions,which I thought were good choices but in the end of it all they bit me right in the throat.Viscious dogs my actions are,they have no comprehension of the damage they do,they are just hungry,for what? sorrow,transgresssion,I suppose that is what they're hungry for.
I don't feel like a complete failure I might add,deep inside me I know that I am a good natured individual,I just wish more people saw the good that i see in me.Maybe then accusations of betrayel,and misusage of people that i love more than life itself would stop.
I have wants just like anyone else.I just want to be happy.
I really don't understand the relovence of typing any of this,I don't even know what i'm talking about,my mind is somewhere else now,far away in fact.
In fact don't even pay attention to this I'll be fine,there are more days to put flowers on a beloved relatives graves,or to get away with the simplest of mistakes or miscommunications.I just hope I make use of those days and don't just sit around and feel sorry for my self for making a decision or not making a decision.I also hope i use those days to liberate from my jealousy enough said on that.
I'm not mad at anyone in case you're all wondering
i just needed to vent to something,why not livejournal?
peace,love and good night to all who read this.
"all" who am i kidding have like 3 people who read this thing.
bye
anyway
Today is the 3 year anniversary of my grandfathers death,I feel bad because I was busy with other things and i regrettibly didn't give him flowers today,which I do every year on this day,and on his birthday.I feel like I let him down in a way,in fact I feel like i've let alot of people down in my life.My reasons for being seem to be breaking down because of my actions,which I thought were good choices but in the end of it all they bit me right in the throat.Viscious dogs my actions are,they have no comprehension of the damage they do,they are just hungry,for what? sorrow,transgresssion,I suppose that is what they're hungry for.
I don't feel like a complete failure I might add,deep inside me I know that I am a good natured individual,I just wish more people saw the good that i see in me.Maybe then accusations of betrayel,and misusage of people that i love more than life itself would stop.
I have wants just like anyone else.I just want to be happy.
I really don't understand the relovence of typing any of this,I don't even know what i'm talking about,my mind is somewhere else now,far away in fact.
In fact don't even pay attention to this I'll be fine,there are more days to put flowers on a beloved relatives graves,or to get away with the simplest of mistakes or miscommunications.I just hope I make use of those days and don't just sit around and feel sorry for my self for making a decision or not making a decision.I also hope i use those days to liberate from my jealousy enough said on that.
I'm not mad at anyone in case you're all wondering
i just needed to vent to something,why not livejournal?
peace,love and good night to all who read this.
"all" who am i kidding have like 3 people who read this thing.
bye