(no subject)
Fuck....I don't even know what. I guess you could say RL personalities and fears of "rejection" that make my one character so hard to play. Alright. Let me explain this...in a way that doesn't make me seem like a complete loser.
Joining Niihau and trying to find a place for your character, for me at least, is like the first month of your freshman year of High School or when you just switch schools. You hear that some kids are nice, and they're the so called "popular kids", but you hear they love new kids. So, you start to talk to them, and you share a conversation that's just a tad awkard. But you feel a little at ease, that just maybe you'll fit in. So, you talk to another one of them, and you're feeling a little better about it, and it turns out a little better. So, you decide to talk to other new kids, and that turns out well. A week later, no one wants anything to do with you, and you don't understand why. You watch all those new kids fit in really well with all the populars, and you can't grasp why you don't. You watch more kids come in and fit in, and yet you're still struggling to make a couple friends.
That's what it's like playing who I play at Niihau. Fuck me for being stupid enough to join somewhere I obviously don't belong. Fuck emotional attachments that make decision making about characters so hard. Fuck...ugh. Fuck it all.
Joining Niihau and trying to find a place for your character, for me at least, is like the first month of your freshman year of High School or when you just switch schools. You hear that some kids are nice, and they're the so called "popular kids", but you hear they love new kids. So, you start to talk to them, and you share a conversation that's just a tad awkard. But you feel a little at ease, that just maybe you'll fit in. So, you talk to another one of them, and you're feeling a little better about it, and it turns out a little better. So, you decide to talk to other new kids, and that turns out well. A week later, no one wants anything to do with you, and you don't understand why. You watch all those new kids fit in really well with all the populars, and you can't grasp why you don't. You watch more kids come in and fit in, and yet you're still struggling to make a couple friends.
That's what it's like playing who I play at Niihau. Fuck me for being stupid enough to join somewhere I obviously don't belong. Fuck emotional attachments that make decision making about characters so hard. Fuck...ugh. Fuck it all.