I might hate you 9/12 (?)
Title : I might hate you
Author : fuckyeahshinee
Pairing : jongkey
Genre : fluff, slight!angst, highschool!AU
Rating : PG
Disclaimer : shineeowner owns them, lol
A/N : blah.
It has been already 3 days, and the 'incident' didn't really end well.
After Kibum left, everybody's gazes were locked on me, forcing me give an answer.
Kibum's reaction to the other's assumption of us being together wasn't really helping my already stressed out system.
Kibum hasn't talked to me ever since.
Every time I see him walking down the corridor and I try to say something, he turns his head away from me and pretends as if he didn't notice me.
I don't think he's mad at me, but I do know he's hurt. His face speaks more than a thousand words.
Why he's hurt ? I don't know. I can't come up with something I might have done.
I mean, I treated him almost like my boyfriend. I never intended to do something that might hurt his feelings or disappoint him.
Every time I held his hand or kissed his cheek, he would've smiled at me and wouldn't show any sign of disgust.
So why ? Why is he hurt ?
I don't know if he would return my feelings, neither do I know if he's aware of my feelings towards him, although they are pretty obvious, but I do know that he is not mad at me, but that he's hurt.
I'm relieved knowing that he's not mad at me in any kind of way, but it does bring me down that every time I try to start a conversation with him, he straight out ignores me.
I noted he really gives his fullest now for the upcoming dance battle. I haven't seen him in the canteen ever since that day, nor during break do I spot him somewhere in campus. I also haven't seen him in his regular practice room, which indicates he moved to another room.
There can be two reasons as to why he doesn't come to his normal practice room anymore,
one, because he doesn't want to risk on bumping into me,
and two, because Jessica insisted it.
It's weird though that all the Sophomores are even more friendly with Kibum now. He became the center of all the attention.
Taemin, much to my surprise, clings onto him as if they're sticked together with glue.
Jessica is always busy fixing his bangs or touching him and Eunhyuk manages to always sling his arm over his shoulders whenever they're walking down the corridor together.
I really don't know why they act like that all of a sudden, maybe because they want to prevent him from coming back to me ?
I don't know ... But their behavior is really weird compared to how my friends treat me now.
Except for Jinki, he's the same old guy and doesn't care about me and Kibum at all.
But for Heechul .. He doesn't talk to me, he even doesn't spare me one single glance.
He is obviously disappointed or mad at me. Probably both.
Krystal also kind of ignores me, but not for the same reason.
She became really silent and uncomfortable in my presence, it's as if she wants to tell me something but doesn't has the guts.
It looks as if she's afraid of me.
Afraid of approaching me, afraid of talking to me, afraid of making eye-contact.
I miss my best friend.
As for Sulli, she also treats me different.
She ignores me most of the time, which frustrates me, but she's still friendly.
She's not like Heechul.
When I ask her something she'd still smile at me, if I hug her she hugs me back but everything changed, that's for sure.
I think it's because I disappointed her.
I always kept telling her that all the Sophomores were jackasses, and now I've been hanging out with one.
Quite normal that she's disappointed in me.
But Kibum is so different.
He's not a simple 'Sophomore'.
He's so much more, but nobody seems to understand.
Nobody seems to understand that is is possible to fall in love with a Sophomore.
Don't tell me that a Junior never has fallen in love with a Sophomore in this school.
Because that would be nothing but a big lie. Who said you could control love ?
There were a couple of girls who asked me if I wanted to go somewhere after classes.
I rejected them all, since I knew they only wanted to get in my pants.
Normally I didn't really care, and I loved it when girls would just gave their bodies to me.
It was an amazing feeling to dominate people and to not feel guilty at the very end.
I mean .... they wanted it. So why should I feel guilty ?
There were many people who asked me several times if I wasn't ashamed for all the things I've did, but I would just shake my head and answer them with 'no'.
Why should I be ashamed ?
Those girls wanted to be pleasured, I wanted to be pleasured, it's a win-win situation.
Nobody gets hurt at the end.
Only if the girls thought that after I slept with them we were officially a couple.
But I think they were pretty much aware that I didn't do 'relationships'.
--
"Hey," I greeted my roommate, feeling extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden.
No response.
"Heechul," I called out, a little bit louder this time.
"Mhm," He replied, not once looking up at me.
His eyes were glued to a book, which was surprisingly more interesting than me.
I took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of my bed, "Why are you ignoring me ?" I asked carefully, trying to not make him angry.
An angry Heechul is not so pleasant to say the least.
"You should know," He said, voice as monotone as ever.
I exhaled sharply, rubbing my temples in pure annoyance and dropped my hands to my sides afterwards,
"Is it because of Kibum ?"
"No, it's because of your mom," He retorted, sarcasm dripping off his words.
I rolled my eyes, "What's so wrong with being friends with Kibum ?! He's a good guy !"
He looked up at me, face contorted in disgust, "I don't fucking care if he's a good guy or not ! He's a Sophomore, Jonghyun !"
I couldn't help but frown at what he said, ever since I started hanging out with Kibum, the sentence
'because he's a sophomore, that's why !' became totally irrelevant.
It sounded so wrong, it sounded so stupid, so unbelievably stupid.
Are we that childish ? Are we that dumb ? I couldn't believe I acted just like every other Junior once.
"So ?! We were also Sophomores !" That's right. We were just like those so-called 'stupid kids' a year ago.
Heechul stood up and I could tell he was boiling inside, "Don't act as if you're a saint, because you're far from that, Jonghyun. You should get your priorities straight." He hissed before stomping away.
I ran a hand through my hair and let out an exaggerated sigh. Things are getting more and more complicated.
Everybody is disappointed in me, Kibum ignores me, and I seriously don't know what to do anymore.
I decided to wander around throught the buildings, it's not like I had something better to do.
I strolled down the corridors with my earphones plugged in.
People were giving me weird looks but I just shrugged it off, letting my mind wander to Kibum's pretty face.
I wish this year would be over already.
Once I'm a senior, I won't have to deal with this stupid feud anymore.
I reached the stairs, the ones me and Kibum took when I helped him with his luggage.
I sat down on one of the steps and supported my head in my hands.
Suddenly a group of giggling girls passed by, some of them glancing at me but eventually turning their heads away and taking the elevator.
I closed my eyes and drowned myself in the music, trying to focus on the beat and not on the students passing by.
My thoughts were soon interrupted when I smelled a familiar scent. I opened my eyes almost instantly and looked up.
Kibum was standing in front of me, facing me his back and talking with some guys.
Just perfect. I was trying to get him out of my head, not making me crave for him even more.
I just stared at him, eyeing him from head to toe and waited for him to acknowledge my presence.
As if on cue, he turned around with a smile as his friends walked away.
His smile faded at the moment he saw me, and so did mine.
Wow, is it so hard to smile at me ?
"Hey," I said, the corners of my mouth slightly curling up, secretly hoping he would smile back and just forget everything that ever happened a few days ago.
"Uh, hey," He brought out, trying to avoid my gaze that was locked on his beautiful face, scanning every little flaw and imperfection, which were perfect in my eyes.
I pushed myself up with my hands so that we were on eye-level and said, "Can't we just -"
"You know Jonghyun-hyung, I ... I really have to ..." He interrupted me, pointing his finger at the stairs, making clear he had to go.
I let out a sigh and looked at the ground, giving him a small nod and stepping aside.
I could feel his eyes on my retreating back, and I was secretly hoping he felt sorry.
He should be.
I could feel anger boiling inside of me along with the warm feeling of Kibum's face printed into my mind, but I didn't show it. I didn't want to and I couldn't.
I'm not afraid of showing people that I like a Sophomore, but I still had my pride.
I was not going to show people that a Sophomore, most likely a boy, could make me feel weak in the knees.
Although I was angry at Kibum for ignoring me, for acting as if I'm invisble, for being such a bitch and for pretending as if we never had a 'special' thing going on, I could never stay mad at him.
Because being mad at Kibum means thinking about Kibum, thinking about Kibum means Kibum's pretty face wandering through my mind, and thinking about Kibum's pretty face causes me to collapse and feel all sort of funny feelings in my stomach. And I'm pretty sure that's called love.
If you meant all the sweet things you said to me when we hung out together, Kibum.
Then I bet you can't keep ignoring me forever. I just hope you weren't lying when you said all those things.
Kibum, I love you, why can't you see that ?
A/N : okay, WHAT ?! ♥ I thought I already posted this chapter like wtf ... I just noticed that I posted the half of this chapter on my AFF, why didn't I post the entire chapter ? Someone clearly went wrong /facepalm.
I even updated the next chapter on my AFF already. oh my god. Okay well, no problem.
I'll just update this chapter and update the other one on Wednesday. By then, I'll already have the next-next chapter done.
Oh god, neglecting this story like a boss /crying right now
Author : fuckyeahshinee
Pairing : jongkey
Genre : fluff, slight!angst, highschool!AU
Rating : PG
Disclaimer : shineeowner owns them, lol
A/N : blah.
It has been already 3 days, and the 'incident' didn't really end well.
After Kibum left, everybody's gazes were locked on me, forcing me give an answer.
Kibum's reaction to the other's assumption of us being together wasn't really helping my already stressed out system.
Kibum hasn't talked to me ever since.
Every time I see him walking down the corridor and I try to say something, he turns his head away from me and pretends as if he didn't notice me.
I don't think he's mad at me, but I do know he's hurt. His face speaks more than a thousand words.
Why he's hurt ? I don't know. I can't come up with something I might have done.
I mean, I treated him almost like my boyfriend. I never intended to do something that might hurt his feelings or disappoint him.
Every time I held his hand or kissed his cheek, he would've smiled at me and wouldn't show any sign of disgust.
So why ? Why is he hurt ?
I don't know if he would return my feelings, neither do I know if he's aware of my feelings towards him, although they are pretty obvious, but I do know that he is not mad at me, but that he's hurt.
I'm relieved knowing that he's not mad at me in any kind of way, but it does bring me down that every time I try to start a conversation with him, he straight out ignores me.
I noted he really gives his fullest now for the upcoming dance battle. I haven't seen him in the canteen ever since that day, nor during break do I spot him somewhere in campus. I also haven't seen him in his regular practice room, which indicates he moved to another room.
There can be two reasons as to why he doesn't come to his normal practice room anymore,
one, because he doesn't want to risk on bumping into me,
and two, because Jessica insisted it.
It's weird though that all the Sophomores are even more friendly with Kibum now. He became the center of all the attention.
Taemin, much to my surprise, clings onto him as if they're sticked together with glue.
Jessica is always busy fixing his bangs or touching him and Eunhyuk manages to always sling his arm over his shoulders whenever they're walking down the corridor together.
I really don't know why they act like that all of a sudden, maybe because they want to prevent him from coming back to me ?
I don't know ... But their behavior is really weird compared to how my friends treat me now.
Except for Jinki, he's the same old guy and doesn't care about me and Kibum at all.
But for Heechul .. He doesn't talk to me, he even doesn't spare me one single glance.
He is obviously disappointed or mad at me. Probably both.
Krystal also kind of ignores me, but not for the same reason.
She became really silent and uncomfortable in my presence, it's as if she wants to tell me something but doesn't has the guts.
It looks as if she's afraid of me.
Afraid of approaching me, afraid of talking to me, afraid of making eye-contact.
I miss my best friend.
As for Sulli, she also treats me different.
She ignores me most of the time, which frustrates me, but she's still friendly.
She's not like Heechul.
When I ask her something she'd still smile at me, if I hug her she hugs me back but everything changed, that's for sure.
I think it's because I disappointed her.
I always kept telling her that all the Sophomores were jackasses, and now I've been hanging out with one.
Quite normal that she's disappointed in me.
But Kibum is so different.
He's not a simple 'Sophomore'.
He's so much more, but nobody seems to understand.
Nobody seems to understand that is is possible to fall in love with a Sophomore.
Don't tell me that a Junior never has fallen in love with a Sophomore in this school.
Because that would be nothing but a big lie. Who said you could control love ?
There were a couple of girls who asked me if I wanted to go somewhere after classes.
I rejected them all, since I knew they only wanted to get in my pants.
Normally I didn't really care, and I loved it when girls would just gave their bodies to me.
It was an amazing feeling to dominate people and to not feel guilty at the very end.
I mean .... they wanted it. So why should I feel guilty ?
There were many people who asked me several times if I wasn't ashamed for all the things I've did, but I would just shake my head and answer them with 'no'.
Why should I be ashamed ?
Those girls wanted to be pleasured, I wanted to be pleasured, it's a win-win situation.
Nobody gets hurt at the end.
Only if the girls thought that after I slept with them we were officially a couple.
But I think they were pretty much aware that I didn't do 'relationships'.
--
"Hey," I greeted my roommate, feeling extremely uncomfortable all of a sudden.
No response.
"Heechul," I called out, a little bit louder this time.
"Mhm," He replied, not once looking up at me.
His eyes were glued to a book, which was surprisingly more interesting than me.
I took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of my bed, "Why are you ignoring me ?" I asked carefully, trying to not make him angry.
An angry Heechul is not so pleasant to say the least.
"You should know," He said, voice as monotone as ever.
I exhaled sharply, rubbing my temples in pure annoyance and dropped my hands to my sides afterwards,
"Is it because of Kibum ?"
"No, it's because of your mom," He retorted, sarcasm dripping off his words.
I rolled my eyes, "What's so wrong with being friends with Kibum ?! He's a good guy !"
He looked up at me, face contorted in disgust, "I don't fucking care if he's a good guy or not ! He's a Sophomore, Jonghyun !"
I couldn't help but frown at what he said, ever since I started hanging out with Kibum, the sentence
'because he's a sophomore, that's why !' became totally irrelevant.
It sounded so wrong, it sounded so stupid, so unbelievably stupid.
Are we that childish ? Are we that dumb ? I couldn't believe I acted just like every other Junior once.
"So ?! We were also Sophomores !" That's right. We were just like those so-called 'stupid kids' a year ago.
Heechul stood up and I could tell he was boiling inside, "Don't act as if you're a saint, because you're far from that, Jonghyun. You should get your priorities straight." He hissed before stomping away.
I ran a hand through my hair and let out an exaggerated sigh. Things are getting more and more complicated.
Everybody is disappointed in me, Kibum ignores me, and I seriously don't know what to do anymore.
I decided to wander around throught the buildings, it's not like I had something better to do.
I strolled down the corridors with my earphones plugged in.
People were giving me weird looks but I just shrugged it off, letting my mind wander to Kibum's pretty face.
I wish this year would be over already.
Once I'm a senior, I won't have to deal with this stupid feud anymore.
I reached the stairs, the ones me and Kibum took when I helped him with his luggage.
I sat down on one of the steps and supported my head in my hands.
Suddenly a group of giggling girls passed by, some of them glancing at me but eventually turning their heads away and taking the elevator.
I closed my eyes and drowned myself in the music, trying to focus on the beat and not on the students passing by.
My thoughts were soon interrupted when I smelled a familiar scent. I opened my eyes almost instantly and looked up.
Kibum was standing in front of me, facing me his back and talking with some guys.
Just perfect. I was trying to get him out of my head, not making me crave for him even more.
I just stared at him, eyeing him from head to toe and waited for him to acknowledge my presence.
As if on cue, he turned around with a smile as his friends walked away.
His smile faded at the moment he saw me, and so did mine.
Wow, is it so hard to smile at me ?
"Hey," I said, the corners of my mouth slightly curling up, secretly hoping he would smile back and just forget everything that ever happened a few days ago.
"Uh, hey," He brought out, trying to avoid my gaze that was locked on his beautiful face, scanning every little flaw and imperfection, which were perfect in my eyes.
I pushed myself up with my hands so that we were on eye-level and said, "Can't we just -"
"You know Jonghyun-hyung, I ... I really have to ..." He interrupted me, pointing his finger at the stairs, making clear he had to go.
I let out a sigh and looked at the ground, giving him a small nod and stepping aside.
I could feel his eyes on my retreating back, and I was secretly hoping he felt sorry.
He should be.
I could feel anger boiling inside of me along with the warm feeling of Kibum's face printed into my mind, but I didn't show it. I didn't want to and I couldn't.
I'm not afraid of showing people that I like a Sophomore, but I still had my pride.
I was not going to show people that a Sophomore, most likely a boy, could make me feel weak in the knees.
Although I was angry at Kibum for ignoring me, for acting as if I'm invisble, for being such a bitch and for pretending as if we never had a 'special' thing going on, I could never stay mad at him.
Because being mad at Kibum means thinking about Kibum, thinking about Kibum means Kibum's pretty face wandering through my mind, and thinking about Kibum's pretty face causes me to collapse and feel all sort of funny feelings in my stomach. And I'm pretty sure that's called love.
If you meant all the sweet things you said to me when we hung out together, Kibum.
Then I bet you can't keep ignoring me forever. I just hope you weren't lying when you said all those things.
Kibum, I love you, why can't you see that ?
A/N : okay, WHAT ?! ♥ I thought I already posted this chapter like wtf ... I just noticed that I posted the half of this chapter on my AFF, why didn't I post the entire chapter ? Someone clearly went wrong /facepalm.
I even updated the next chapter on my AFF already. oh my god. Okay well, no problem.
I'll just update this chapter and update the other one on Wednesday. By then, I'll already have the next-next chapter done.
Oh god, neglecting this story like a boss /crying right now