05 [private; unhackable] don't you let me go, let me go tonight
Jack told Candy it was my birthday. It stands to reason then that this is the last one I get, because there's no way he would have even remembered it if it weren't for that fact. Well, no, he would've, because he's a prat, but I know from the way he talks to me...
I think I'm supposed to feel a bit more about this than I do. Because I know I'm not going to be here next year, I'm not going to be anywhere next year, and I know what's waiting for me after I die, just like what Suzie said, that there's something Dark out there. And I feel like I should be making preparations.
Obviously I should be. Nobody to give any of my crap to, not here, but. I can arrange it so the rent's paid on my flat for a few years, give Elektra and Candy the keys and let them use that whenever they need to. Especially Candy. Probably should tell her about this. I don't want it sprung on her, or on anyone I know. But it's not like i'll be able to make some kind of announcement to them on my birthday; i'm going to be a sorry enough sight without ruining their moods completely. and it's probably pretty obvious to some of them. it's not like i made much of an effort to hide it when i was trying to figure it out.
i feel like i should talk to ianto but i don't know why. like hell i'm going to show off the fact that i'm not ready. better to just pretend it's not going to happen, at least until after this party. which is a shit idea, and i should have refused more, but
i just hope its quick i guess so long as its not a weevil that does me in i should be ok.
story of my ife here. ge teverything going somewhat like it should and then... bam. god i wish i knew what happens to tosh.
need to go out and work the shakes outta my hands
I think I'm supposed to feel a bit more about this than I do. Because I know I'm not going to be here next year, I'm not going to be anywhere next year, and I know what's waiting for me after I die, just like what Suzie said, that there's something Dark out there. And I feel like I should be making preparations.
Obviously I should be. Nobody to give any of my crap to, not here, but. I can arrange it so the rent's paid on my flat for a few years, give Elektra and Candy the keys and let them use that whenever they need to. Especially Candy. Probably should tell her about this. I don't want it sprung on her, or on anyone I know. But it's not like i'll be able to make some kind of announcement to them on my birthday; i'm going to be a sorry enough sight without ruining their moods completely. and it's probably pretty obvious to some of them. it's not like i made much of an effort to hide it when i was trying to figure it out.
i feel like i should talk to ianto but i don't know why. like hell i'm going to show off the fact that i'm not ready. better to just pretend it's not going to happen, at least until after this party. which is a shit idea, and i should have refused more, but
i just hope its quick i guess so long as its not a weevil that does me in i should be ok.
story of my ife here. ge teverything going somewhat like it should and then... bam. god i wish i knew what happens to tosh.
need to go out and work the shakes outta my hands