(no subject)
Hmm…what to think about tonight…well how many of you guys are working over break? Yeah me to, dawn till dusk…well not dawn but around there, seven maybe six forty five…and then I do shit until like one and maybe go check my email, go run errands, then I come back and work basically until dark…yeah yesterday I wheeled my dad around the mall in a wheel chair for fathers day and got to treat him to whatever he wanted and made him breakfast and bought him lunch and dinner…it was fun and I need new knee high sox after maine so I’ll show my dad the freaks that work at the stores that I get them at and I might be getting the coolest pair of cons off the website…but I think I’ll just stick to the originals because knee highs are 75 bucks and I’m buying an mp3 player to so I’m lucky I’m getting shoes…but back to working…today I dragged 300 pound fences around…it was fun, they only had to go like a hundred feet but it was still hard as hell…and uphill…and when I finished weed whacking the last 100 yards of my fence, I got poisonous parsnip on my back and got huge like two inch in diameter splotches of blisters…it fucking sucked and hurt like hell…besides that I whacked down my whole backyard which was up to my face with like thick hay and tomorrow I may before I leave whack around my horses grave…tomorrow I’m going downstate to nyc to see my dad’s step mother an old really religious but racist woman who I happen to dislike very very much…and my dad’s picking up another guitar…umm not much has happened lately my family hasn’t gotten any more retarded but that’s probably because they haven’t said anything since the last tim I ranted and raved about them…umm yeah just to let you know everything I said last night was roughly half of what I think about…and I was stuck on honesty and trust for a lot of today…I’ve concluded I am honest with four people at orme, well honest in my definition as in I tell them the blatant and honest truth about all of my feelings and thoughts about what they do or things that happen…these therefore are the 4 people I trust because they have always been honest with me…and I’ve concluded trust goes beyond trusting people with things that you say, like I trust ray to keep his mouth shut if I tell him anything…but there is a different kind of trust, that makes people or someone a person that you can depend on…it’s sort of trust with your feelings, trust with your soul, and you yourself…again there are four people whom I give this amount of trust…one brother, one sister, one mother and one girlfriend…I don’t think my “sister” really knows who she is or that I give her this amount of trust…because I have never showed her that I do I guess…I spend very little time ever talking with her but when we do it’s serious and she listens and I listen and problems thoughts and feelings just come out she’s always there to talk to or to look like a dead body…the brother, Jay, shit happens we know…so the fuck what? And Shit…you know I’m always here man you need something, you just wanna hang out on a weekend, come over get high on life in the silver pill, give me a call, always here man, stick it out with the tough friends and live it up with the best ones, guess we’ll just keep livin’ it up…and lovin’ it…um, mom…without you there every E period, I would have lost my sanity and plus if I didn’t come and talk to you than you’d have a chance to gain back your sanity and then life would just be no fun…hey Jay tell mom that I said this to, cuz if I put in a couple good comments, I figure it’ll give her less of a reason to kick my ass…Ahhh the girlfriend…you all know how much Amanda means to me and if you don’t your either blind or are just retarded and can’t read…and also my father of course I share this trust and honesty thing, he has also publicly and loudly announced that I am not a sex toy…most likely the reason which I adopted Betsy as my “mom” is because she has a very similar relationship with her kids and I think it’s the greatest relationships that parents can have with their kids…um I really don’t have much to say tonight yeah that’s unusual…well time is a waste of life and life is a waste of time so lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life…kegger at my house tomorrow…