(no subject)
i definately had a hard time moving to alma
meeting new people doesn't exactly come easy for me
(most of my paw paw friends have been with me for what seems like forever)
but i am starting to think maybe i didn't move far enough
don't get me wrong
i love alma now and my friends here are amazing
but i am still tied to people that i want to get away from
one way or another they pop back into my life
and expect everything to be fine and dandy
when they haven't made any effort to talk to me in months
and even when i tell them i have moved on
and know better than to try and establish any type of relationship
they make another attempt
i am the kind of person who likes to cling to my friends
i don't like admitting when a relationship is lost
but i am starting to realize how bad that is
i continue forgiving people or hoping that they have forgiven me for past mistakes
and pretending like everything is fine
but it is awkward
and all the crap we stupidly believe we put behind us will eventually resurface
so hopefully i am done doing that
i want to be straight-forward
i recently decided to break contacts with a certain person
he thought that i could forget all the crap that happened
and begin a brand new friendship
but for the first time
i knew better
i chose not to put energy into something that would not work out
it would only cause drama for both us
and i am quite capable of creating my own drama
i don't need to invite someone into my life to add to the mess
his recent behavior suggests that i didn't make myself completely clear
but i tried
perhaps my first attempt to do this did not go so well
but it was a start
and hopefully i will continue to stand up for myself
and learn that sometimes it is important to remove yourself from unhealthy friendships
meeting new people doesn't exactly come easy for me
(most of my paw paw friends have been with me for what seems like forever)
but i am starting to think maybe i didn't move far enough
don't get me wrong
i love alma now and my friends here are amazing
but i am still tied to people that i want to get away from
one way or another they pop back into my life
and expect everything to be fine and dandy
when they haven't made any effort to talk to me in months
and even when i tell them i have moved on
and know better than to try and establish any type of relationship
they make another attempt
i am the kind of person who likes to cling to my friends
i don't like admitting when a relationship is lost
but i am starting to realize how bad that is
i continue forgiving people or hoping that they have forgiven me for past mistakes
and pretending like everything is fine
but it is awkward
and all the crap we stupidly believe we put behind us will eventually resurface
so hopefully i am done doing that
i want to be straight-forward
i recently decided to break contacts with a certain person
he thought that i could forget all the crap that happened
and begin a brand new friendship
but for the first time
i knew better
i chose not to put energy into something that would not work out
it would only cause drama for both us
and i am quite capable of creating my own drama
i don't need to invite someone into my life to add to the mess
his recent behavior suggests that i didn't make myself completely clear
but i tried
perhaps my first attempt to do this did not go so well
but it was a start
and hopefully i will continue to stand up for myself
and learn that sometimes it is important to remove yourself from unhealthy friendships