Amy Elizabeth 1983 - 2057
First, if I really die that year, I want it stated in my obituary that I was psychic because I say that I am psychic far too often to have this one off the cuff claim not count as well.
Second, this exercise is impossible. I think people had to/ have to do this exercise in journalism classes but I heard some woman on the radio talking about how she had to do it for a career guidance seminar. I figured it worked so well for her, maybe it would give me insight into what I'd like to do with myself if I know what I'd like to be remembered for. But in true 'make it harder than it needs to be' fashion, I feel like I'd have to write several and then determine which I'd actually want. We'll see.
Third, I've stopped things from being awful here. With improv and applying to Montgomery College, I'm getting some sort of foothold. However, it's more than making things 'livable,' I need improvement. I need to know the work schedule I'll be living first to see exactly how I will improve things... When I will be exercising, which I'm telling myself I will... When I will be studying... When I'll get my ass into therapy (I'd love to know why I'm dragging ass on that one... I think a lot of it is my hatred of driving around here and therapy doesn't hit me as a good enough reason to have more driving, geographical and financial annoyance).... When I'll do things for myself... And when/if I'll be able to form a social life. The night I go out with anyone other than Caitlin or Phil I'll consider socializing to be a victory. But it's impossible to meet people, especially with my schedule.
I'd love to sit the owner of the 930 club down and point out things I've done there and then tell him which I've gotten in trouble for and which employees were around at the time(s). Really, fuck the 930 club... Hysterically corporate rock and roll... can suck it.
However, why I wasn't let in Sunday night was *entirely* my own stupidity. So stupid.
Phil may have left his zip up in Lake Placid and Ashley left her get well card in my car... definitely an excuse for someone to drive somewhere... hopefully the Dales to Jersey though... I'm not going back up there until the snow's gone!!
I'm at least a third done with Xmas shopping which is the best I've done ever in terms of being prepared for the holidays.... It's left me completely broke until my next paycheck but at least Mickey will have a book he'll never read on home recording because that spoiled ADD-addled 15y.o. is getting recording equipment from his father......
What the fuck DO I GET for not only tolerating but LIVING with that man for 7 years???? I'd still like to know.... Although, I've put my mother through the ringer enough times to spite her for allathat (wrongfully).... That hatchet has been buried, but I'll still never like the man.
I'm really excited for the holidays, as always.... I'm desp. trying to find a radio station that'll be playing carols and I want to get to a mall after I get my next check to finish up shopping.... I'd put up my lights if I had any idea how I could without making a mess/ putting holes in walls that aren't actually walls/ breaking things/ injuring myself or others/ ruining the electricity for my entire block, heh.... It also makes me want to take pictures on the lawns of decorated houses... but that also kind of makes me sad. I have to call Pam...
I will do anything to not read Bill's script... I read 30/100 pages and I feel like I can't bring myself to read anymore. He drives me insane because he's so adamant about not changing his personality, his outlook, his approach... anything... I can't help but think, "Why do you think you haven't gotten anywhere, Bill??" The power of positive thinking is not some bullshit term coined to make the dimwitted feel better, it's medically and statistically proven... He just reminds me of a lot of the things I'm working to overcome in myself. All I see is how he holds himself back and that upsets me because he is a passionate person who could be very appreciated in his own niche.... but he holds himself back from getting there.... Which I think I do too... whatever my niche is... theatre?
When did I decide 'theatre' is home and is it really?
I think I'd be making music if music was home.
Fine arts are too new for me to even have an idea if that's home....
I don't know enough about any one area to really call it home.... I'm just a 'person of the arts'..... unfortunately a lot of us are.... I waste time typing livejournal entries instead of creating anything substantial.
Well with lockdown weekend approaching I anticipate much cleaning and much creating. We'll see.
Damn long entry.